Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Hunith Emrys was not stupid. When Merlin had dashed out of the house the previous day, she had gone up to his room, looked through the telescope and quickly looked away when she saw him taking his clothes off.

Things had been going well. Merlin had been smiling again and she was sure she could earn his trust back. But then Arthur had to go put himself on display like always and ruin everything, again.

So she’d had to intervene.

Of all the ways Hunith imagined Merlin reacting to her rearranging furniture, running away was not among them. Tears, maybe. Ignoring her and going up to his room, sure. But running? Merlin didn’t run. He wasn’t at all athletic. Even when she’d nearly sobbed her throat hoarse and played that stupid guitar all night, he didn’t run away then. And that was one tactic she’d been particularly proud of. Moving some furniture around in the living room hardly warranted such a reaction.

She had worried a few minutes that he might run so far away that he get lost or wander into a bad neighbourhood, but she knew Merlin wasn’t completely stupid. He could read signs and find his way home. And he always came home eventually.

When she heard her mobile notify her of a text message, she immediately felt something was off. She unlocked the screen and stared at the text a long moment.

-staying at arthur’s for a bit. can you bring some clothes?-

It was the beginning of the end.

Hunith went straight back up to Merlin’s room and looked through the telescope but the curtains were closed. She swore and slammed her fist on her thigh.

Well that’s just fucking great. Way to go, Hunith, your plan backfired. Now what?

There was no way to hurt Arthur without hurting Merlin too. And getting Arthur to leave town would be just as bad because 1) Merlin might have the audacity to go with him or 2) he’d stay here and become an inconsolable mess just as she had twenty years ago.

So now what?

Hunith needed time to think, and as long as Merlin was still only across the street, she had plenty. She just hoped Arthur wouldn’t try to brainwash him anymore than he already had.

She put a few of his outfits in a bag, showered and brushed her hair, and practised her smile in the mirror. Maybe, if she was lucky, they would be willing to listen to reason and Merlin would come home.

Hunith fully expected Arthur to open the door. If Merlin was upset enough that he texted instead of called, it was reasonable to think he’d be upstairs out of sight and hiding.

“Hunith,” Arthur greeted her coldly. Hunith ignored it and tried to be civil.

“Good evening, Arthur. You’re home early.”

Arthur just stared at her. Alright then.

“Is Merlin feeling alright?” she asked.

Arthur crossed his arms. “He had a panic attack.”

Hunith gasped. “Is he—”

“He’s better. But he doesn’t want to go back to your house for a while.”

“Can I speak to him?”

Arthur sighed and looked over his shoulder before stepping out and closing the door behind him. “He doesn’t want to. Whatever you did, it really upset him.”

“I was only moving around some things in the living room. I had no idea he would react the way he did.”

“Of course you didn’t. You were probably hoping he’d see it as a cry for help so he’d start feeling guilty again.”

“Excuse me?”

“He told me what you’ve been doing. Saying little things like memories are all you have left and playing his father’s guitar. He knew exactly what you were up to and he kept trying to pretend everything was fine. And now look what you’ve done. You’ve broken him into a million pieces and I’m the one that has to put him back together again.”

Hunith lost every ounce of control she had so carefully kept in check. She dropped the bag of clothes and threw her fists at any part of Arthur she could reach. Some of her punches landed but she couldn’t tell where. The man seemed to be all hard muscle and she hated him even more for it.

The better to protect Merlin with

No! Merlin is mine! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

“Stop!” Arthur yelled. “Hunith, I swear to God, I’ll call the police. I don’t want to, but I will!”

“Go ahead, call the police, see if I care!”

“Hunith, for the love of—” Arthur grabbed her wrists and she started kicking his shins. “You think I want Merlin to see his mother in prison? You think I want him to see how mental you are? For fuck’s sake, just let him go!”

She jerked her knee up between his legs and heard the satisfying sound of air rushing out of his lungs. He fell to the ground groaning and holding himself.

Hunith picked up the bag of clothes. “Tell my son if he wants something to wear he can come get it himself.”

“I’ll just...buy him...new ones,” Arthur panted.

Hunith ignored him and fought the urge to kick him again. As she turned to walk back home she saw someone in the upstairs window between the curtains. It was Merlin. He was holding himself like he’d just had a hole ripped out of his chest.

Shit.

Arthur didn’t think the first time he would have to crawl up the stairs would be because his boyfriend’s mother had kicked him in the balls. He was rather hoping it would be as Merlin suggested, to fetch a bottle of lube or something of that nature. But wow, her knees were almost as bony as Merlin’s.

Merlin was still standing by the window with his arms wrapped around himself when Arthur made it to the bedroom.

“Merlin, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” He sounded hollow.

“I can buy you new clothes if you want, okay?”

“I don’t care.”

Arthur pushed down the sick feeling in his stomach as best he could and straightened up to walk over to him. “Merlin?”

“I’m going to sleep now.” Merlin turned from the window and went to get under the duvet.

“Do you—”

“Can you call my boss and tell him I can’t come in the rest of the week?”

Arthur frowned. He’d expected maybe one day after what happened, but the rest of the week?

“What do you want me to say? He won’t believe you’re sick, since you were fine to—”

“I don’t care.”

Arthur sighed and picked up Merlin’s mobile where he’d left it on the nightstand. He scrolled through Merlin’s contacts until he found the number. He told Kilgharrah that Merlin had to leave the country for a funeral and wouldn’t be back until sometime next week. Kilgharrah hoped that everything was okay.

Arthur sat beside Merlin on the bed. He wasn’t sleeping yet, didn’t even have his eyes closed, but was just staring blankly ahead.

“Merlin?”

“You were right. About everything. She is mental. And I’ve been so stupid—”

“No you haven’t, Merlin, you just—”

“I want to be alone right now. I can sleep on the sofa if you want the bed but—”

“Of course you can have the bed, Merlin. Whatever you want, okay? I may even act as a full time slave, remember?”

Merlin didn’t laugh. Arthur gave up and grabbed a pillow to take downstairs. There were still a few rays of sunlight peeking through the curtain but Merlin wouldn’t want to be bothered later.

Arthur hesitated on the way out. “This is probably a stupid question, but...how do you feel? I know you feel bad but, on a scale of one to really really shit?” Just so I know what I’m dealing with.

Merlin buried his face in the pillow so Arthur could barely hear him. “I feel like I’ve been yanked out.”

Two whole weeks Hunith hadn’t seen Merlin leave the house. She’d seen Arthur come home with bags of new clothes, various forms of takeaway, and groceries, but not once did she see Merlin. Not even behind the curtain, which never moved.

There was almost no way she was getting Merlin back now. She’d be lucky if she even heard his voice again. She had tried calling. It always went straight to voicemail.

So she was surprised—even a little shocked—when Arthur knocked on her door halfway through the third week.

He didn’t look good. Hunith hadn’t been able to see much with the telescope, just general features. Up close Arthur looked haggard. He had dark shadows under his eyes and spoke like he’d lost all hope.

“Arthur,” she said just as coldly as he had weeks ago.

“Hunith, I...I don’t know what else to do. Nothing I’ve tried works.”

“What are you talking about?” This had better not be a trick.

“It’s Merlin. He’s...I don’t know. He’s just empty.”

“Empty?”

“He doesn’t talk. He barely eats. It’s like he’s not even there.” Arthur’s voice broke near the end and Hunith had to do a double-take. It seriously looked like Arthur was about to cry.

She stopped glaring but still regarded him warily. “I haven’t seen him leave the house.”

Arthur shook his head solemnly. “He doesn’t even leave the bedroom. I told his boss that he was out of the country the first two weeks and got sick when he came back, but pretty soon he won’t have a job either.”

What?!

“I...I meant what I said before. I’m not trying to take him from you. I never have. I wanted him to stop depending on you so much, sure, but...you’re his mother and...and I’ve never had a mother but even I know there’s a special bond you can’t just break. I’d never want you out of his life completely.”

Wait, what? “You’ve...never had a mother?”

Arthur went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “He needs both of us right now. I know you hate everything about me and I certainly don’t much care about you, but we do have Merlin in common so can we just...put the animosity on hold for his sake?”

Merlin needs me.

No, he needs me and Arthur.

But Arthur hasn’t been able to help him.

Merlin needs me!

Hunith seemed to take too long considering because Arthur spoke again, this time his voice more desperate.

“Hunith, please. I can’t bear to see him like this.” And yes, there were the first tears rolling down Arthur’s cheeks. “We both want him to be happy, so please, please—”

“What do you want me to do?”

The heavy curtains cast a dim red glow over the room, and it was so dark Hunith’s eyes had to take time to adjust. She could barely make out the shape of a body beneath the duvet, but she could see Merlin’s black hair stick out against the stark white pillow.

She closed the door softly behind her. “Merlin?”

Merlin’s head turned instantly to look at her. “Mum?”

He looked even worse than Arthur, and that was saying something. No wonder Arthur had said he couldn’t bear to see him like this. It was breaking her own heart. Any remaining plans she had about stealing Merlin away as soon as she could nearly disappeared. If what Arthur said was true, Merlin needed both of them in order to be his normal smiling self again.

She put on her best mother face and ignored the ache in her chest as she walked forward. “Merlin Emrys, what do you think you’re doing?”

Merlin lifted himself up and raised his knees to his chest as he leaned back against the headboard. “I—”

“Why has Arthur told me that you’re not eating or speaking? And you haven’t been to work? Have you even left this bed?”

Merlin pointed a shaky finger to the toilet. “When I—”

She was close to him now, close enough to smell. She wrinkled her nose and pulled back the duvet. “Up you get. In the shower, and don’t even think about coming out until at least ten minutes have passed. Scrub every centimetre—no, millimetre—of skin, do you hear me?”

Merlin scrambled out of the bed and hurried to the loo.

“And don’t forget to wash your hair!”

The door closed behind him and the light came on. Hunith busied herself with making the room more lively.

She opened the curtains and let in some sun, first of all. Then she made the bed, fluffed the pillows, and went through the the shopping bags sitting in front of the wardrobe. The clothes still had the tags attached and she saw they cost no small amount of money. Part of her—a very large part—was angry Arthur would do something to so obviously upstage her, but she also had to admit they were rather nice and would fit Merlin both size- and colour-wise.

She laid out a few outfits for Merlin to choose from and left them for him to find. Then she went downstairs where Arthur was still pacing anxiously.

“What happened?” he asked as soon as he saw her.

“I’ve gotten him in the shower. I’m going to speak to him as soon as he’s out.”

Arthur sighed with relief. “I haven’t even been able to get him to do that much.”

“Yes, well, a mother has her ways.” Though I don’t suppose you’d know about that.

Arthur bit the nail of his thumb and nodded. “Do you think—”

“Is it true you’ve never had a mother?”

Arthur looked taken aback. “What?”

“Earlier, you said you’ve never had a mother.”

“Oh. I...She died giving birth to me.”

Oh, that’s terrible.

“But I had a sister. Have a sister. She was just as overbearing. Still is, sometimes.”

“It’s not the same,” Hunith said.

Arthur shook his head. “I wouldn’t think so.”

Poor thing. He has no idea what a mother’s love is like. How could he possibly understand why I won’t let Merlin go?

“Do you think he’ll leave the bedroom?” Arthur asked.

Hunith nodded. “He will. Go ahead and get the rice started. I’m sure he’ll be out of the shower soon.”

Merlin was sitting on the bed wearing grey jeans and a red t-shirt when she returned. He looked a lot better, no longer like a living skeleton, though he still had the same shadows beneath his eyes that Arthur did.

He followed her with wide eyes as she came to sit beside him. “Now, Merlin, tell me what’s going on.”

He ignored the question. “Is Arthur here?”

“What?”

“Is Arthur...he’s still here, right? You haven’t done anything to him?”

Hunith sighed and patted Merlin’s knee. “I know you must think I’m some terrible monster after what you saw a couple weeks ago but I would never do anything to hurt you, Merlin. And hurting Arthur would do just that.”

“So he’s not...”

“He’s downstairs. And he’s almost done making dinner so you had better tell me why you haven’t left this room soon.”

Merlin gaped and his lip trembled as his mouth tried to form coherent words. “I thought...I saw you hurt him and I thought he was right, that you really were mental. And...and I kept thinking maybe I was too quick to overlook you kidnapping him in the first place and—”

“Arthur and I have come to an agreement on that, Merlin. It’s all in the past now.”

“You...what?”

“You’ve had him very worried. He came and cried right on my doorstep until I agreed to help him. Both of us apologised for our behaviour, including the whole bed incident.”

“He...cried? Arthur cried?” Merlin looked astonished.

Hunith chuckled. “Yes, and it was all very awkward and emotional. But we decided to try and at least tolerate each other.”

“But why?”

She tousled his damp hair—which he still hadn’t brushed, she noticed disapprovingly—and gave him a smile. “For you, of course. We both love you very much.” As much as I hate to admit it.

“I...I love both of you, too. I didn’t like you two fighting.”

“I know. Arthur told me you wanted us to try and be friends. I don’t know about that just yet, but I do always try to give you what you want, don’t I?”

Merlin perked up. “Really?”

“Of course, Merlin. No more lies. And that means from you, too,” she added with a pointed finger. “I mean really, a dirty uniform in the wash? How daft do you think I am?”

Merlin laughed and then instantly frowned. Oh no, now what is it?

“You should know then...I’m going to stay here. With Arthur.”

Hunith’s heart stopped. Arthur hadn’t said anything about this. Merlin looked like he expected her to hit him. “You want to...”

“Live here. Yeah.”

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s only across the street. It’s not like a certain someone that left all of a sudden to go God-knows-where.

Hunith took a breath and swallowed. The words were difficult to get out. “Okay. Did you want me to bring your things?”

Merlin smiled. “Could you? It’s been hell without my music. I don’t think I can go back to the house just yet, but I promise we’ll still have breakfast together since Arthur leaves early for work and—”

“Alright, Merlin, slow down,” she chuckled. “We’ll get to all that over dinner. Right now you should go downstairs and let Arthur know you’re alright. Preferably before he bites all his nails off.”

The next thing she knew Merlin’s arms were around her and squeezing her in a tight hug. She exhaled and returned the embrace as well as her own crushed arms would let her.

“Thanks, Mum. You’re the best.”

She rubbed his back. “I know, darling, I know.”

Hunith didn’t follow him down the stairs right away. She figured they would probably want a few moments of privacy. She took Merlin’s iPod out of her pocket and laid it on the nightstand, then went to use the loo herself.

When she finally did descend the stairs, she saw the back of Merlin’s head disappear around the corner and into the kitchen.

I thought they’d be talking by now. Did he really need to think so long?

She peeked her head around the corner and looked.

Arthur was standing in front of the hob with his back to them. Merlin walked up behind him and slipped his arms around his waist. Arthur jumped.

“Hiya,” Merlin said and kissed Arthur’s cheek.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s face spread with a smile.

“You look terrible. Sorry I’ve been making you sleep on the sofa.”

“It’s alright. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. Mum told me you two are playing nice.”

Arthur shrugged. “Yeah, well. You had me a bit worried and I didn’t know what else to do.”

Merlin’s reply to that was to kiss Arthur so deeply that he made a surprised noise that quickly turned into a soft moan. Arthur dropped whatever utensil was in his hand as Merlin spun him around and pushed their bodies together.

That’s familiar...

“Balinor, I’m cooking!”

“The food can wait.”

“And when it burns, will you still be saying that?”

“As long as I’ve got you to wait with, Hun.”

Arthur’s voice tore Hunith out of her memories. “Ah, oh God, Merlin!”

“Just making sure everything’s still in working order. That was a nasty kick she gave you.”

“Everything’s—ow, ow, hot!”

Merlin moved them two steps to the right and pressed back against the worktop. Arthur’s hands settled low on Merlin’s hips as Merlin kissed him again.

“What about your mother?” Arthur asked when Merlin moved down to Arthur’s neck.

“She’s upstairs.”

“We can hardly expect her to stay up there for long. And have you forgotten what we have in our bedroom?”

Our bedroom. The words hurt Hunith more than she thought they would. She swallowed and reminded herself everything she was doing was for Merlin’s happiness.

“Of course not. Don’t think I didn’t notice you walking around with the collar by the way.”

Collar? I saw the handcuffs but...oh God, I don’t even want to imagine...

“I thought it might cheer you up.”

Merlin hummed and raised a hand to stroke Arthur’s cheek. The other tugged one of Arthur’s belt loops. “Wear it again tonight when she leaves. I haven’t had sex in over two weeks.”

Arthur chuckled. “You’re not the only one.”

Right, well, that’s quite enough of that.

Hunith stepped a few paces back to the staircase and returned noisily. When she walked into the kitchen they had separated.

“Everything sorted?” she asked, smiling.

Arthur had turned back to the hob and Merlin was sitting on the free worktop space beside him. His lips were a bit red but he looked otherwise normal.

“Yeah,” he said, grinning back. “Everything’s great.”

“Dinner’s almost ready, Hunith,” Arthur said and turned to Merlin, holding a bowl of broccoli. “Here, take this to the table.”

Merlin frowned and held out his arms limply. “I dunno, Arthur, I’ve been in bed forever. I don’t think I’m strong enough. I only just managed to walk down the—”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Merlin.” Arthur shoved the bowl into Merlin’s chest.

Merlin leaned in and whispered into Arthur’s ear, but Hunith could still barely make it out. “You’re just saying that because you know I won’t boss you around in front of my mother.”

Hunith cleared her throat and walked forward. “Need me to take anything?”

Arthur glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, uh, sure. Forks and knives?”

Merlin hopped off the worktop. “I can get those,” he said and passed the broccoli to Hunith. “Much lighter.”

Hunith felt a sharp tug at her heart. He still thinks I’m going to do something.

Merlin grabbed cutlery from the drawer. “Dining room’s just through here, Mum.”

She followed him into the next room. He flicked the light on and put down one pair as he walked round the table. Hunith set the bowl down in the centre.

“Is there a certain place I shouldn’t sit?” Hunith asked. It was a simple square table with only four seats.

Merlin looked up. “Oh, well. Arthur usually sits here.” He put his hands on the back of a chair. “I usually sit across from him, but it doesn’t really matter.”

“That’s fine,” Hunith said. She turned to see if there was anything else Arthur needed brought to the table.

She returned with rice and then there was only chicken and gravy, which Arthur brought himself. After that, they were all three seated at the table. Hunith could tell right away that it would descend into awkwardness if she didn’t say something first because neither one of them looked intent on speaking.

“I left your music player on the nightstand upstairs. If there’s anything else you’d like me to bring over, I’d be happy to.”

Merlin brightened. “Oh, thanks! I can’t think of anything terribly important except my laptop.” Merlin paused and thought. “Hmm. And also...my studded belt and that gel I use to spike up my hair.”

He looked at Arthur and with a glance over, Hunith saw the man had a curious eyebrow raised. Merlin continued and clarified.

“Not that I expect to be using either one of those in the near future, of course. But those are, er, little things that I don’t want to get lost amongst everything else. So, you know, top-of-the-list type items.”

Arthur looked amused. “Uh huh.”

“I’m serious!”

“Anything else?” Hunith interrupted.

Merlin shook his head. “Not that I can think of. I’ll text you anything that comes to mind.” He turned back to Arthur. “Oh, where’d you put my mobile?”

“It’s in, uh, your drawer.”

Merlin laughed. “Is that what we’re calling it these days?” Hunith heard a thwack sound and Merlin’s expression shifted to one of pain. “Ow! Don’t kick me, you prat!”

“You’ll probably need the cord for that, won’t you?” Hunith asked.

Merlin nodded. “Oh, yeah, and for the iPod. That’d be great.”

He returned to his food but Hunith could see there was something more on his mind from the frown lines in his brow. She glanced at Arthur again just as Arthur looked at her. It seemed they were thinking the same thing.

“Is there anything else?” she asked gently.

Merlin moved a few grains of rice around on his place and hesitated before speaking. “It’s just...Are you sure you’re fine with this? It’s sort of hard for me to believe you’d give in all of a sudden for no reason.”

She placed her hand on his. “I already told you, Merlin, you are the reason. You’ve said before that I would do anything to make you happy. If Arthur really makes you happy...I can at least try to be a little less selfish.” And he promised not to take you from me.

“And...and you’re not just saying that?”

Arthur snorted. “Trust me, Merlin, if she were just saying that I wouldn’t’ve let her in my house.”

Hunith rolled her eyes and lowered her voice conspiratorially. “He certainly is a prat, isn’t he?”

Merlin laughed and she patted the back of his hand once more before leaning back. “Now, what’s this about not being able to come to the house yet? I’ve moved the furniture back if that’s what’s troubling you.”

Merlin deflated and lowered his eyes again. “That’s sort of...unrelated.”

“Arthur said you had a panic attack.”

“Um. Yeah.”

“Well—”

“He was just a bit overwhelmed,” Arthur interrupted. Merlin looked relieved. “I don’t think he really understood just how much time had passed and the sudden change sort of hit him a bit harder than he expected.”

Merlin nodded. “Yeah, exactly.”

“I mean if you’ve been in a cage your whole life you’re not going to be especially eager to walk right back in just in case the door locks shut behind you.”

“Okay, you can shut up now,” Merlin hissed.

“Not to mention the emotional trauma alone—”

“Arthur!” There was another thwack sound and Arthur jumped.

“Ow! Did you just kick me?”

Merlin ignored him and turned to Hunith. “He didn’t mean that.” Arthur mumbled something and Merlin shot him a look.

Hunith just laughed. “It’s fine, dear. I understand. Take all the time you need.”

“I’ll probably visit at first, and work my way up to actually going ins—What are you doing?” Merlin looked incredulously at Arthur, who was spooning more rice onto Merlin’s plate.

“You need to eat more.”

“I’ve eaten plenty!”

“You’ve hardly had a single bite of food in weeks. One plate isn’t nearly enough.”

“Oh my God, Arthur, stop! That’s like a mountain of rice!”

Arthur put the spoon in his hand back in the bowl, albeit reluctantly. “I’ll have whatever you don’t finish, but eat as much as you can.”

Merlin groaned. “Arthur.”

“Seriously, Merlin, you’re skin and bones.”

Hunith laughed despite herself. They were so much like her and Balinor used to be.

“I can’t believe you think this is funny, Mum.” Merlin looked betrayed but Hunith could see the light in his eyes.

“He’s right though, Merlin,” Hunith chided. “You’re practically a skeleton. In fact.” She stabbed a piece of meat with her fork and put it on his plate. “There, now you’ve got more protein. Rice is all carbs anyway. You’ll probably burn off that energy as soon as I leave.”

“Mum!”

“You should have more vegetables while you’re at it,” Arthur said and added a few stalks of broccoli.

“Arthur!”

“And just a bit of gravy...”

Merlin buried his face in his hands. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening,” he groaned.

Hunith and Arthur just laughed.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and help clean up?” Hunith asked at the door.

Arthur shook his head. “It’s fine. Merlin’s got it.” He looked over his shoulder and made sure that Merlin was still busy washing up, before stepping forward and embracing Hunith in a quick hug. “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

When he stepped back she looked surprised, but he had expected that. He hadn’t planned on hugging her, or even becoming sort-of friends with her, but he supposed stranger things had happened.

“I...yes, well, it seems we make a good team. When it comes to Merlin, anyways.”

Arthur chuckled. “Yeah. It’s great to see him finally smiling again.”

Hunith smiled herself. “Yes. Take good care of him, will you?”

“Of course.”

“Goodnight, then.”

As soon as Arthur turned to help Merlin in the kitchen he was pinned back against the door and assaulted with a mind-reeling kiss. He could taste the seasonings he’d put in the gravy still on Merlin’s tongue.

“M-Merlin, what—”

Merlin cut him off with another press of lips. He rolled his hips forward and Arthur felt the slow drag of Merlin’s cock on his thigh.

Merlin ran his hands up Arthur’s shirt and leaned in to suck an earlobe. “Did you ever get around to buying more?”

Arthur had to think about what exactly Merlin meant and finally realised he was talking about the lube they’d used up.

“I—yeah,” he breathed and gasped when Merlin’s thumb circled his nipple. His knees went weak and only Merlin’s hands on him held him up.

“Good.”

And then Merlin’s hands were grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pushing him back into the kitchen, his lips never leaving Arthur’s for a moment. Arthur felt a flat edge hit his lower back when Merlin had finally pressed him against the worktop and grunted at the sudden pain. He forgave Merlin quickly though because those wonderful hands then started taking Arthur’s shirt off.

“Oh God Merlin, that’s—” Arthur couldn’t remember if Merlin had ever sucked his nipples before. There had been flicking and pinching and clamping but never the wet heat of Merlin’s tongue and the teasing graze of his teeth. When Merlin shoved a hand down his pants and squeezed his cock, Arthur felt embarrassingly close to coming already.

“Fuck, Arthur, you’re hard as a rock,” Merlin chuckled and thumbed the slit of his dick. Arthur whimpered as Merlin wiped precome down the shaft. “And positively dripping for me,” he added cheekily.

“Ah, fuck you, Merlin, you know what—what that does to me,” Arthur snapped. “And it’s been...been a while.” It didn’t carry much heat considering he was so breathless and he had simultaneously jerked his hips forward while arching his spine.

“Yeah. That cock ring for you is starting to look less like a suggestion and more like a demand.” Merlin suddenly stopped and looked up. “What day is it?”

Arthur’s head spun. “It’s um...Thursday. I think.” Merlin raised a brow. “Yes, definitely Thursday. But why are you asking now of all times?” He fought the urge to push Merlin’s head back down to his chest.

“Because. If it was the weekend I’d say we could go buy it together.” He returned to Arthur’s nipple and Arthur hissed in a breath. “I’m interested in seeing this shop.”

Arthur felt a wave of embarrassment. The few times he’d been he’d gotten curious looks from the employees and sometimes even glares from the customers. He supposed they couldn’t figure him out because he didn’t fit the image. Sometimes Arthur saw people there leading their partners on a leash, but he always kept his head held high no matter how badly he wanted to avert his gaze. The thought of going with Merlin and Merlin pulling him forward by a leather leash attached to his collar was almost shamefully arousing.

“It’s just a...just a shop,” Arthur said.

Merlin didn’t say anything, just undid Arthur’s trousers and slid them down, along with his pants, in one smooth motion. He sunk to his knees and briefly sucked the head of Arthur’s cock before spinning him around and spreading Arthur’s arse with his hands.

Oh God, is he gonna...again?

Merlin did. Even though Arthur semi-expected it, he cried out when Merlin’s tongue plunged inside. His hands gripped the sides of the worktop and he thrust his arse back. Merlin held Arthur’s hips in place as he buried his face deeper and Arthur felt the cold tip of Merlin’s nose among all the other hot sensations.

Fuck, I wish he could do this all day. I wish he could come inside me and lick it out and do it all over again.

Merlin didn’t disappoint him when he slid a finger in beside his pointed tongue, and Arthur’s heart raced when he realised yes, Merlin meant to fuck him, finally, after more than two weeks.

Preparation passed as quickly as it had in Arthur’s office, but this time because Merlin was just as desperate as Arthur. Arthur heard Merlin stroke his cock a few times then felt him slide it between the wetness of his arse cheeks without shoving in.

“Merlin, please.” Arthur pressed his arse back before he could stop himself.

“Just wanna—fuck—make sure it’s slick enough,” Merlin panted.

“It is, it is, please.”

“Alright, alright, yeah.”

Arthur put his forehead on the worktop and just breathed. Merlin’s cock entered him slowly and he could only hold back the moans until it was more than halfway in and filling him in the familiar way. Then he had to, had to, push back and take the final distance for himself.

“Arthur.” He felt Merlin’s own forehead between his shoulder blades and Merlin’s hands running up his chest to settle over his collarbones. “Oh God, Arthur, I missed you so much. Did you miss me too? Did you feel empty without my cock to fill you up?”

Don’t say empty, not after how you looked.

“I...” Arthur reached back and touched Merlin’s thigh. Merlin shuddered. “Yeah, I missed you, Merlin. Could you...?” He clenched his arse meaningfully and Merlin’s gasp turned into a laugh.

“So impatient. Alright, fine.”

The pressure of his forehead disappeared as Merlin straightened. His hands gripped Arthur’s shoulders tighter and he pulled out only to slam forcefully back in. The pace he set had his hips snapping against Arthur’s arse hard. Arthur braced his forearms on the worktop and pushed back with unchecked enthusiasm, his breath coming in short gasps as Merlin shook his frame.

Too soon Merlin’s palms hit the worktop with a loud clap and he gave three more quick, hard thrusts, each punctuated with a strained word, “Yeah—Arthur—fuck!” before his body tensed and then finally relaxed. Arthur felt Merlin’s come drip down the back of his balls as Merlin slipped out.

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his own body still shaking with adrenaline. He didn’t move except to nudge Merlin behind him, who wasn’t quite done catching his breath.

“Yeah, I...I know. Want you to...to fuck me...when we get upstairs.”

Oh.

“You up for it?” Merlin asked. “I’m so knackered I won’t be able to do more than lay there but—”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.” Arthur turned and took Merlin’s hand, already leading them to the stairs. “Come on, let’s go.”

Merlin chuckled as he let himself be pulled along. “Don’t forget to wear the collar. You have to be reminded of your place, after all.”

Arthur looked over his shoulder with wide, sparkling eyes. “Anything to please my master.”

Even with the blindfold on Arthur knew exactly what it was Merlin was trailing down his back. He had tasted the leather of the whip on his tongue countless times. He was intimately familiar with every toy in their arsenal. His cock twitched with anticipation.

Arthur had near perfect control of his body after months of training, but he couldn’t help the involuntary clench of his stomach when the leather suddenly touched the soft flesh of his lower abdomen. He could, however, keep himself from jerking forward for more of that wonderful sensation. He knew Merlin would gift it to him soon enough.

“Very good, Arthur,” Merlin purred. His approval made Arthur’s chest swell with warm pride. When he next heard Merlin’s voice it was behind him again. “Pretty soon I won’t have an excuse to punish you. And I do so love to see how you tense up and try not to make a sound.”

The only warning Arthur had was a whoosh of air before the whip lashed a painful stripe across his back. He grit his teeth together but remained obediently silent.

Then suddenly Merlin’s naked front was flush against his back, Merlin’s hands on his hips and his low voice dripping in his ear. “Oh, but you love it, don’t you?” Yes. “You love this pain like nothing else because you know what it does to me. And you love my hands on you, soothing you afterwards.”

Even as he said it, Merlin’s nimble hands were moving up the side of Arthur’s body, rising higher until he brought them over the bruise that must have already been forming. The stinging pain began to recede under his touch and Arthur sighed contentedly.

Yes, yes, I want you to hurt me and kiss it better, I want all of it.

Merlin slid around the front and aligned his body with Arthur’s. Arthur knew better than to try and press their erections together no matter how badly he wanted it.

“Tell me, Arthur. How many more do you think I’ll give you?”

It had been a harmless enough mistake. Merlin had said worse things after a few too many drinks, though he had never let slip how the two of them really met. Arthur was lucky it was only Lance and Gwen and that they’d all had a good laugh about it. Still, the mistake was bad enough that Merlin saw fit to punish him for it. And Arthur wasn’t going to argue. He loved anything Merlin did to him.

“Nine,” Arthur said after a moment’s thought.

“An even ten.” Merlin laughed. “I didn’t think it warranted quite so many. You must think me rather cruel.” He trailed a length of the whip across Arthur’s cheek softly. “Alright. I’ll give you your ten. And then one more because I feel like it.”

Arthur’s blood pumped with anticipation and arousal at the power in Merlin’s words. Merlin’s warmth left him and he fought against a shiver at the cold air on his skin. He barely had time to brace himself before the second lash of the whip came down on his back.

He kept his muscles tense and his shoulders stiff and soon enough all nine plus one had passed. Arthur heard the whip fall to the floor and then felt Merlin’s hands at the back of his head untying the blindfold. He kept his eyes closed until Merlin told him to open them. He blinked against the brightness of the room while his eyes adjusted.

Arthur kept his eyes forward as he felt Merlin put the armbinder on. Of all their toys, this was Merlin’s favourite. Arthur could still remember the look in Merlin’s eye when he saw it in the shop.

Merlin walked in front of him again, grabbed the end of Arthur’s leash and pulled him onto the bed. Arthur used to struggle keeping his balance with his arms so firmly behind his back, but Merlin had made him practise walking on his knees with it on. Even though the bed dipped beneath his weight, Arthur managed not to fall forward on his face.

Merlin lay down against the headboard and indicated Arthur straddle him. The smile Merlin gave him as he reached forward to stroke Arthur’s cock could only be described as utterly sinful.

“Look at my eyes, Arthur,” Merlin directed. Arthur forced himself to look only at Merlin’s eyes, first the left and then the right. Even when Merlin’s hand on him sped up and Arthur felt himself nearing the edge of climax he kept his gaze determinedly fixed.

He was breathing heavily when his semen spurted all over Merlin’s chest and stomach. Merlin trailed a finger through the mess and pressed it between Arthur’s open lips.

“Lick it up,” he ordered. “All of it.”

Arthur waddled back enough to lean forward and lick his hot come from Merlin’s skin. His eyes dried out quickly from keeping them so obediently raised and he had to blink often, but he kept them on Merlin and used his tongue to navigate Merlin’s body.

Merlin didn’t have to restrict his own moans and sighs of pleasure. He could arch his back up for more of Arthur’s touch as much as he liked. Even when Arthur had finished licking up the last of it, he continued sucking kisses into Merlin’s stomach, wishing he could move down to Merlin’s dripping cock but waiting until Merlin gave the command.

Finally, Merlin took hold of his cock and rubbed it against the side of Arthur’s cheek.

“Suck it.”

Arthur felt his heart soar with happiness and he took it immediately between his lips.

Oh God, finally.

It was difficult with the armbinder restricting him. He had to rely on the muscles in his abs to lift himself up, so he couldn’t go as fast as he wanted. He pleaded with his eyes for Merlin to have mercy and simply fuck his mouth. Instead Merlin grabbed the roots of his hair and forced his neck to work harder.

Arthur did not squeeze his eyes shut when the pain made tears form. He kept them open and let Merlin wipe them away. Only then did Merlin thrust his hips up and make Arthur gag as he took it deeper.

Ever since Merlin had said, “That’s right, gag on it,” Arthur had figured out how much Merlin enjoyed it. The first time they had sex Merlin had come because Arthur gagged. Merlin clearly liked how much Arthur was willing to do for him, and Arthur liked trying to fit the most of Merlin into his mouth as he could no matter how sick to his stomach he felt after a while. It was a wonderful give and take that made Merlin finish every time. This time was no different.

They’d made a rule that scenes ended after both of them came, so Arthur was free to do as he wished. If what he wished included continuing to be submissive, Merlin allowed it, and was no longer a strict master, but a gentle one. So when Arthur rested his face against Merlin’s hip and lapped at the side of Merlin’s cock, Merlin spread his legs wider to accommodate Arthur’s body and pet Arthur’s hair.

If Arthur could live between Merlin’s legs, he would. It wasn’t just the heady smell of his balls or the beautiful way his cock draped across his hip. It was how Merlin’s legs bracketed Arthur and made an invisible bubble of shelter. Arthur had to take care of Merlin outside of their play less and less with each day that passed. Merlin could drive well and joke with Arthur’s friends (even the intimidating Percival) and only visited his mother once every two weeks. Before all of that, Arthur might have felt embarrassed to curl up like a kitten between Merlin’s legs. Now it made Arthur feel the most powerless but also the most safe, the most proud, and the most content.

When Arthur began to shift uncomfortably from the armbinder, Merlin reached down and freed him. “Don’t want you sore at work tomorrow,” he muttered. He pulled Arthur up into a kiss that lasted until they were both breathless again.

“Is it late?” Arthur asked.

“About half ten.”

“I guess we should sleep.”

“I’m going to stay up a while. There’s a lunar eclipse tonight.”

Arthur vaguely recalled seeing it marked on the calendar in the kitchen. “Yeah? You’ll have to tell me about it tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

Arthur got under the duvet as Merlin walked over to his telescope by the window. He didn’t close his eyes right away, instead stared at Merlin’s naked body bent to the eyepiece. Sometimes he loved Merlin so much it hurt.

“Merlin?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think you’d be interested in going to university to study astronomy?”

Merlin straightened up and looked over his shoulder with a curious expression. “Can people who’ve been homeschooled even attend?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“I don’t know...It’s a lot of money.”

Arthur waved it off. “We can get loans if we need to. You would be interested then?”

Merlin chewed his lip and then nodded. “Yeah.”

“Alright. I’ll look into it for you. But getting into uni is hard. It’s not an easy process.”

Merlin sighed and turned back around. “Nothing ever is.”

“You can definitely do it though. Just look at far you’ve come with driving. You’ll be able to get your licence soon.”

Merlin just made a noncommittal noise in reply. Arthur closed his eyes and tried to sleep. They could talk about it the next day.

“I know what you’re thinking, Arthur, so I’m going to come right out and tell you you’re not being fired.”

Arthur breathed a sigh of relief at Leon’s words. All day people had been getting called in and laid off. Arthur was glad he wasn’t, but couldn’t help wondering why Leon had asked to see him.

“You are, however, being relocated. We can’t afford to keep you here but...” Leon leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Look. You’re lucky you’re my wife’s brother, and what’s more, my longest friend. That’s the only reason I’m not getting rid of you. But I do have to make cuts all around so...” Leon shrugged the rest apologetically.

Arthur swallowed. He was almost too afraid to ask. “Where are you moving me to?”

“You know my mum is going to freak out, right?”

Arthur ran a weary hand over his face. “Yeah, I know.”

“I mean, at least it’s not Ireland or France or something,” Merlin said. He wasn’t particularly eager to leave the home they had here. It wasn’t just his mum across the street—he could deal with leaving her behind just fine—but there were a lot of memories in this house. “Still. Wales? Really?”

“Would you rather me not have a job at all?” Arthur countered.

“Do they even speak English?”

Arthur chuckled. “Sort of.”

“Brilliant.”

“When do you want to tell her?”

Merlin stopped pacing and sat on the bed. “When do we have to leave?”

“I have until the end of the year.”

That was a little over two months. At least it wouldn’t be before Christmas. Merlin was worried how Hunith would react, but if it was before Christmas she was sure to be even worse.

“Let’s tell her Boxing Day,” Merlin finally said. “You start looking for a flat. I’ll call Kilgharrah.”

Hunith was, unsurprisingly, extremely upset by the time Boxing Day came around. Merlin was glad he had insisted they go indoors first. Though maybe tea wasn’t a good idea. Tea was hot. Tea burned.

As soon as Merlin told her, she got to her feet and pointed an accusing finger at Arthur. “You promised!” she screamed.

Merlin hurried to stand in front of him and gently took hold of her wrist to lower it. She was shaking with rage.

“Mum,” he began. “It’s just Cardiff. It’s not like there’s an ocean separating us. You can still visit. We’ll still visit.”

“That’s not—it’s—it’s the principle of the thing,” she sputtered. Merlin turned to Arthur for help.

He cleared his throat and said, “I didn’t know this would happen, Hunith. I don’t break my promises. I’m not taking him from you. And we will visit. It’s not so far away.”

Hunith seemed to calm down, but not much. She looked up at Merlin pleadingly. “You could...you could switch off. Stay here half the year and with him the other half?”

Merlin fought against the rising anger he felt. He wasn’t some toy to be shipped back and forth and he hated that his mother still sometimes thought of him that way.

He took a breath and shook his head. “No, Mum. How am I supposed to keep a job like that? And besides, I’ve already enrolled in uni for September.” He tried to sooth her by rubbing his hand on the inside of her wrist. “Everything will be fine. It won’t be so bad, you’ll see.”

She looked confused. “Uni?”

Merlin backtracked. He forgot he hadn’t told her about that yet. “Yeah. I’m going part-time to the University of South Wales to study observational astronomy. And we’ve already got a flat picked out—”

She suddenly clutched her chest and sunk to the sofa with a gasp. “It’s...it’s happening then. You’re leaving me. Just like your father.”

Merlin sat beside her and grabbed her shoulder firmly. “No. There’s a huge difference, Mum. He left and never came back. You will always have me. It’s not as if I’m disappearing into thin air. We’ll come and visit, I promise.”

Hunith was quiet a long time. Merlin didn’t let her go, instead left his hand on her shoulder to let her know he was still here. He could only guess what thoughts were going through her head.

Finally, she sighed. “I suppose you’re going to leave no matter what I say, then.”

Merlin nodded solemnly.

“Alright. If you have to go, then...go. If there’s anyone who can take care of you, it’s Arthur. I’ve seen how much he needs you. How much you need him.” Merlin lowered his eyes and blushed. Hunith kissed the top of his head. “And at least you’ll finally be free of that Will boy.”

Merlin laughed but felt a pang of loss. He would miss Will, too. He would miss all of the new friends he’d made. But he could make more at uni, and he’d always have Arthur.

Merlin’s favourite thing about stars was that, for the most part, they never changed. Sure, some died, and more were visible in the country than in the city, but the sky he saw at night was the same sky someone else saw when they looked up. It was constant and it was beautiful.

And the telescope Arthur bought him for Christmas was amazing. Merlin could see much more, zoom in much closer than he ever had been able to before. He could see every crater on the moon, could make out the fuzzy ring of light around some of the stars he normally would never have noticed.

He smiled when he felt Arthur’s arms wrap around him from behind. “I don’t know how you can stand the cold out here,” Arthur’s voice said in his ear.

“The view is beautiful,” Merlin replied.

“My view is pretty breathtaking, too.”

“You better not mean me, you sap.”

Arthur chuckled. “Nah, I meant the stars. But you’re okay, I guess.” Merlin elbowed him in the side and he laughed again. “I’ve got our room set up the way you like it.”

Merlin moved the lens a little away from the moon. Where is it?

“What are you even looking at? It’s the same every night,” Arthur said.

There! “Found it. Here, look.” Merlin raised his head and held the lens steady while Arthur leaned forward.

“What am I looking at exactly? I see stars, obviously, but...”

“Look closer. Isn’t one of them really bright? Brighter than the others?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, that’s Venus.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. That’s...interesting.”

Merlin elbowed him again. “Alright, fine, I’ll be right in. Strip and bend over the bed, legs spread apart.”

Arthur left to go do as Merlin said and Merlin lowered his head to look a little longer. He was just about to go inside when he saw something that made him gasp.

He knew shooting stars weren’t anything special. He knew they were really just meteors burning up in the earth’s atmosphere.

He wished on it anyway.

I wish Mum would find a friend, too.