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The biggest difference between the Academy’s Jaeger simulator and the real thing - besides the obvious, anyway - is that in the simulator, you’re painfully aware of the fact that even though you can’t see them, half the Academy and as many as half a dozen PPDC brass are just outside the replica Conn-Pod, scrutinizing every single thing you do.
Isaac had found the attention suffocating, but strictly in a metaphorical sense - nothing like the very literal feeling of suffocation that hits him the first time he and Burns test drive Romeo Blue, just after the drop, the second it sinks in that he’s locked into a harness in what is essentially a tiny metal cage.
And maybe that would be fine, but then Stilinski initiates the neural handshake, and Isaac hears his dad’s voice for the first time in years, and he’s gone.
xx
Lahey’s out of alignment, Burns, he’s chasing--
Yeah, thanks, I noticed--
Terminating neural bridge in--
Don’t you fucking dare--
xx
Scott’s the only one he ever tries to explain it to (Burns knows all of it already, without him having to try), and the closest he can get is that it’s like trying to listen to talk radio while your car is speeding out of control. He knows Burns is there, is vaguely aware of her calling his name, but he can’t latch onto what she’s saying until little by little, everything slows down enough that he can process again, recognize that there’s sun shining on his face and that Burns is with him, a few feet away and right inside his mind, and he can breathe again.
“Sorry,” he says, once he’s calmed down enough to say anything.
“Sorry for what? We’re on schedule and I totally just proved that Stilinski’s more afraid of me than he is of Argent.”
“Burns, you said if I didn’t open the hangar doors and get you to daylight you’d cut my fucking--” Stilinski squawks, until Burns casually reaches up and flips off the comm.
“He wanted to follow protocol and terminate the connection, but then we’d have to wait around for a manual evac crew, and it’d be a whole thing.” Isaac doesn’t even want to think about that, sitting strapped down in the dark waiting for someone to come and let him out. “Like I said,” she grins, “I was scarier.” And then neither of them says anything for a while. Isaac stares out at the coastline, marveling at how tiny everything is, and when he flexes his fingers, he feels the distant rumble of Romeo Blue doing the same.
“Just remember next time,” Burns tells him after what feels like forever. “I’m your co-pilot. Forty drops, thirty-eight kills. You and me in a giant metal robot - whatever it is, we’ll stomp the shit out of it.”
It’s cocky and aggressive, the way Burns always is - in the Kwoon, in the simulator, in the mess - but he can feel her in the Drift, the way her mind reaches out to wrap protectively around his, and it feels a lot warmer than it sounds. Isaac takes a breath and flips the comm back on.
“Stilinski, we clear to move out?”
“Oh, so glad you assholes decided to check in. Yes, you’re clear.”
“Then let’s go find something to stomp.” Burns laughs. Isaac can’t hear her over the sound of Romeo Blue coming to life and stepping forward, but he can feel it all the same.