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Connie could never get used to this sight.
Reiner locked in a cell deep underground, bound and gagged and blindfolded, with a detachment of guards watching him round the clock. Barely a few weeks ago Connie would have never been able to come up with this image. Connie knew he wasn’t very imaginative. But without knowing what he knew now, he would never have been able to imagine this.
Connie couldn’t get used to a lot of things.
After failing to kidnap Eren, Reiner and Bertolt had tried to rescue Annie. All according to Armin’s plan, they had set a trap, hoping to capture at least one of them. In the end Bertolt had managed to escape with Annie, but they had captured Reiner without him turning into a crystal like Annie.
What really tore up Connie was the way they had captured him.
He hadn’t believed Ymir at first when she told him that Reiner had been disassociating. It seemed too ridiculous, too… convenient? Connie had doubted the truth about Reiner and Bertolt at first, but after Erwin had lost his arm, Mikasa had been injured, and so many others had died thanks to them, Connie had marked them down as one hundred per cent evil.
So when the Armoured Titan dissolved into steam, and Connie had found Reiner lying unconscious a few streets away, he would have cut off his head on the spot if they hadn’t been ordered to take him alive. But then Reiner woke up, asking what was wrong, what was happening, if he was alright, and Connie knew that second that Ymir had been right. This was the Reiner that had been a friend to everyone, an inspiration to him, the perfect soldier. That Reiner had been real.
So leading him into a trap so the Scouting Legion could lock him up was one of the hardest things Connie had ever done. Reiner had no idea what was going on- hell, he had no idea what he’d done. Seeing the confused look on his face when the others had jumped him nearly broke Connie’s heart.
He switched back to the traitorous Reiner pretty quickly though. It took some doing to restrain him, since Reiner had always been a big guy. But soon they had him bundled up so he couldn’t hurt himself and turn into a Titan, and they locked him up deep underground so if he did, they could contain him.
Then the interrogation started.
Connie deliberately didn’t try and find out what they were doing to Reiner. He knew that Reiner- this Reiner- was a traitor and enemy of humanity. He deserved everything he got. But he also knew that if he actually saw Reiner, he wouldn’t be able to separate this Reiner from his Reiner. So he stayed the hell away from the prison, taking any job that would keep him away from that place. Until one day, he was summoned back there.
It was Hange’s idea. Reiner wasn’t being talkative, and she thought that a carrot would be more useful than a stick. Connie had been the closest to Reiner after Bertolt, so he was picked to talk to Reiner and see if he would spill any information.
The first ‘meeting’ didn’t go well. Connie was a people person, sure, but this situation strained his social skills to the limit. And everything that came out of Reiner’s mouth made him angry. When Connie asked where Bertolt and Annie might have gone, and Reiner said he wouldn’t betray his friends, Connie couldn’t take it.
“You’ve already betrayed your friends! You betrayed us! We trusted you! The whole time we trusted you, when you were the ones who threatened humanity, and kept threatening humanity! Who was it that destroyed Eren’s hometown? Who was it that killed half the Scouting Legion? Who was it that lied to us the entire time, used us, and then tried to kill us? You care about Bertolt? You care about Annie? You can obviously care about people, so why didn’t you care about us?!”
Connie had to be hurried out the room pretty quickly while the guards subdued Reiner. He wasn’t called back for a few days, and he thought that would be the end of it. But it seemed like he’d got more out of Reiner than traditional interrogation methods, so was called back.
He got better at keeping his cool around Reiner, although it was more out of pity than anything else. It was hard to hate someone in such a pathetic state. Reiner couldn’t move an inch, and the gag and blindfold were only removed so he could eat and be interrogated. And the more he spoke about himself (which still wasn’t much), the more Connie could see how guilty he was, how much his actions tore him up inside. After all, the guy had practically driven himself crazy to cope. If that wasn’t pitiful, Connie didn’t know what was.
But at that same time Connie hated himself for feeling pity for Reiner. This was still the guy who was responsible for the fall of Wall Maria. He had the blood of millions on his hands. And if he felt so damn guilty for his actions, why didn’t he stop? Why did he continue even after the years of training, after Trost and the hundreds who died there, after the 57th expedition, after Castle Utgard? Why didn’t he just stop?
“You know, I never thanked you properly for saving me at Utgard,” said Connie, at the latest ‘meeting’. “I mean, I thanked you, but saving my life, that’s something really massive. Deserves more than a simple thank you.”
Reiner looked away as much as he could, constricted by the straitjacket. “That wasn’t the real me.”
“Maybe not,” said Connie, “But that was the you I knew. And the fact that you came up with him, must mean there’s good in you right? That’s the you you’d like to be.”
“It’s only what people wanted of me.”
“But you wanted people to see you that way. To like you, I mean. You always acted as a friend to everyone. An inspiration even,” Connie smiled, but it felt hollow, “So why don’t you try that now?”
“What?” Reiner said, dumbfounded.
“Well, I mean, you try being of use to humanity. Finding out about your home, about your mission, about the Titans… that information would be really helpful. You’d be a great soldier if you told us that.”
At the mention of the word ‘soldier’, Reiner perked up slightly. Connie felt his confidence rise. He pressed on, “I’m sure it’s the same with Bertolt and Annie. I mean, Annie didn’t kill Armin, and Bertolt said the time with us was the best in his life, so I’m sure you want to be good guys! So if you guys help us out, be useful to humanity, then… then…”
Connie trailed off. Then what? They would be able to go back to being part of the survey corps, and everything would go back to normal? Even Connie wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. They would be executed as enemies of humanity once they had revealed all the information they knew, and probably being dissected as well. Even if they somehow avoided that, what was there? Being tied up in this cell for the rest of their lives. And even if the unthinkable happened and they were let free, they couldn’t go back to being friends, not after what they’d done. Their whole friendship had been poisoned by their deception
Connie tried to say something else, but no words came out. Reiner said nothing either. After a lengthy silence, Connie gave up. There would be no success today. He wondered if there would be success any day.
In silence, he strapped the blindfold around Reiner’s eyes, and placed the gag back in his mouth. Reiner let him. He barely resisted anymore, just let Connie get on with it. That somehow made things even worse. Connie could handle Reiner the hero, and Reiner the enemy of humanity. This Reiner, this pitiful, confused individual… Connie didn’t know what to feel about him. And he hated it.
Connie left the cell without saying goodbye.
There was something else he didn’t say, something he had been keeping in ever since he found out Reiner was a traitor.
When Reiner had saved him at Castel Utgard, he had been willing to jump out of that window with the Titan. Even though he himself was a Titan, the Reiner that did that had no idea. He would have met his death there at the bottom of that tower. It was only thanks to Connie cutting the Titan’s jaw off his arm that he didn’t.
Now, Connie wished he had stayed back and let Reiner jump.
Not because Reiner was the Armoured Titan, the enemy of humanity, and his death would have prevented so much grief.
It was because if Reiner had died there, he would have stayed pure, at least in Connie’s eyes. He would have become Reiner, the hero who sacrificed his life for his comrades. All those years of friendship and camaraderie would have stayed untainted. Connie wouldn’t be sitting here torn between hate and pity for a mass-murderer.
The Reiner that Connie loved wouldn’t be dead.