Chapter Text
His heart throbbed, ached somewhere deep within himself that Jimin had no idea existed to begin with. It was like a cavity making itself known and the pain that it brought tore his very being and every single thing he had once hailed as the truth. Love hurt, it hurt so so bad and now that he knew the pain and never ending despair that it brought he wanted nothing to do with it, wanted to cleanse and rid himself from such a nightmare.
But it was still fresh and Jimin knew no matter how much he currently yearned for the pain and emptiness to ebb away, it wouldn’t. it seemed and was impossible, an unbearable reality
Clutching his chest, as if providing a sense of comfort for his weeping heart, he tried to control his breathing, feeling as if his lungs would never have sufficient oxygen.
Never once had Jimin imagined that rejection could hurt him as much as it did, so much to the point that it left him breathless, gradually loosing feeling in his jittery legs, falling down hard on his knees, short of breath, hot tears burning down his cold cheeks, nose runny. He felt small, pathetic, foolish and there was a burning feeling that had set in his throat; as if he had swallowed something hard that was impossible to go down, the feeling you get when trying desperately to stop your tears to no avail, knowing it was impossible and once the river of tears set loose it appeared to be an endless supply of them as they were steadily released from his tear ducts.
And that was how min Yoongi walked off, leaving a despair crying Jimin on the pavement, not bothering to spare a glance back, walking away…
Walking away from Jimin
From his future
From their future
From his first and only love
From his first unborn child that presently laid within Jimin’s womb…
And just like that he was gone and Jimin didn’t have it in him to go after him, only watching his blurry form retreat.
And just like that Jimin realized he was alone..
Reality sinking down on him like the heavy burden of the situation that it was.
He was just 17, he was just a junior in high school, he had no stable annual income, heck the part time job he had was barley paying him enough for him and his mother’s necessities. His mother barley meeting the month’s rent and they were sometimes barley scrapping by to collect enough money for the gas, the water and electricity.
And that was just for his mother and him, oh god, a baby…
Raising a child costed thousands of dollars..
Thousands of dollars that were nowhere near his disposal. He wasn’t exactly close to graduating high school either, and Yoongi had made it more than clear that he wanted nothing to do with their child nor would he help Jimin.
All of these stressful thoughts was causing him to experience hyperventilation and for a second he thought he was having a panic attack and for a very good reason.
The father of his child had just walked out on him, leaving him with nothing more than a deeply wounded heart, deep betrayal and a bucket load of tears.
Fortunately if he could even call it that, Jimin had chosen carefully where to break the news to Yoongi. He ended up going with the alley near the park he usually relaxed with Taehyung and Jungkook in the summer. It was pretty secluded, not only by the two stone walls on either side of the road but because of the tall trees that had been planted there years ago. It was private and he knew there wasn’t many people during this time of day during the weekend. And private the moment had been, no one had walked by and it eased some comfort into Jimin knowing no one was around to heard his sobbing. That he was allowed this moment of wanted peaceful solitude. He sank to his knees and slowly sat down on the rocky payment, he must have been there for almost two hours seeing as how the sun began to sink behind the growing clouds and increasing speed in the wind. But for some reason it brought comfort to him, hearing the wind whistle between the tree branches and leaves as they shook about from the force of it. It was early September and school was almost going to being and in his current situation that was the last thing on his mind. The sound of the leaves moving against each other was providing strange sense of comfort, creating a blank canvas in his head. and his crying was reduced to nothing but simple whimpers and an occasional hiccup. He felt drained, he didn’t think he had cried as hard and as much as he did ever in his life until now.
Now what??
What was he supposed to do, and most importantly how would he even tell his mom. There was no space in the apartment for a baby, no space in his life for a baby..?? Was there? Jimin knew, knew that no matter what situation he was currently living in, no matter how things may be, that he could never and would never kill his baby.
Something so precious and beautiful that Yoongi and him had created together.. his child deserved to live and would.
And everything up to this point continued to repeat a continuous torture as cruel realty seemed to settle deep within his bones, his conscious. Jimin had suspected that Yoongi would be perhaps mad, angry, pick at certain things that he knew would hurt Jimin but never had he imagined Yoongi to bluntly spout such a thing, to deny the being growing within him was Yoongi's
" It’s not mine" he harshly murmured, hard eyes set with nothing but cruelty and a coldness Jimin had never imagined he would be at the receiving end.
Dumbfounded, alarmed and scared Jimin could feel the tears preparing to spill.
“ it’s not mine Jimin” Yoongi insisted, voice filled with complete certainty.
“I’m sorry but I think you should address the real father. Don’t try and pin this on me.”
“ w-what do you mean its not yours?! how could you say such a thing Yoongi?!” Jimin screamed completely ignoring all forms of proper honorifics in his state of panic and disbelief.
“ you know perfectly damb well you were my first and only!”
“ that’s what you say but how can I be so sure, its not as if I spend every minute of every day monitoring who you do and don’t sleep with.” Yoongi continued,
“ I-I love you Yoongi…I.. would never, could never sleep with someone else…W-why would you say such a thing?” Jimin whispered softly, slow inevitable stream of Tears running down his cheeks, collecting near his chin and falling into his sweater’s collar. He felt hurt, pain blooming around his heart, he had never once in his life thought of ever finding love except in Yoongi’s arms.
“look Jimin’’ Yoongi sighed, ignoring what Jimin had said “I don’t know how else to say it so I’ll be blunt. Find the kid’s father, don’t…don’t even try pinning this on me, and don’t even think about bringing my parents into this,” harshly murmuring the last part, his unwavering cold gaze blowing away any hope Jimin may have had.
“ Why are you being like this Yoongi?” Jimin whimpered his bottom lip quivering.
“ I- I don’t understand. Don’t you love me Hyung? T-this baby in here, in my womb ”Jimin continued slowly bringing up his right arm to caress his flat stomach , and then tentatively reached out with his left to grasp Yoongi’s right wrist, bringing it to his stomach next to where his right hand was. “ Yoongi w-we created this… and I want to keep him or her…” he trailed off, not sure what to expect.
Yoongi’s big hand and wide palm placed right next to his smaller one- in a way of seeing the contrast and size difference on their child, holding their small pea- was comforting and he felt a sense of being safe, secure…and in a blink of an eye it was over.
Yoongi tore his hand away 3 seconds flat into feeling Jimin’s stomach, the look that made itself present was one of unfiltered terror and possible repugnance.
“ I don’t Jimin, I don’t love you. I may have said it and up until this point I honestly don’t know why I even did because I never meant it. You just happened to be there and willing when I was horny, it could have been anyone but unfortunately it just so happened to have been you and I had never meant for it last this long and much less had I intended it to be exclusive. It may have been the fact that you were so clingy and always willing to please… you were easy and at some point I had assumed that sooner or later you’d realize we weren’t a thing.. I mean c’mon Park, when we met up it was solely to fuck… nothing more nothing less..”
Every word that escaped those soft lips that Jimin had come to know as home clawed, chewed and destroyed his very being. He didn’t understand what he was saying, his brain seemed to have short circuited or something because nothing made sense yet at the same time he knew exactly what he was saying but his poor heart was refusing to understand.
“ W-what, wh-at do you mean Yoongi?.. I d-don’t understand.. I-I.. W-we..” Jimin stared at Yoongi with wide, confused and pained eyes.
Yoongi suddenly laughed, cold and full of a foreign malice that Jimin had never been acquainted with. Yoongi tilted his head, a dark sense of amusement and annoyance clouding his eyes, “What’s there not to understand Park-shii ? Want me to explain? Fine. Let me give you the run down. We were never together, there never was a we to begin with, and honestly, I’m sorry, I guess, for “leading” you on as long as I did. I had always assumed our arrangement was clear and I didn’t mean for it to last as long as it did to begin with, I repeat. You were just an easy hole to fill and fuck, I don’t know how more blunt I have to be than that. Now you can do whatever the fuck you want with your child, keep it, put it up for adoption, abort it, I don’t care... but I swear to god Jimin if you even think about trying to get my parents involved your gonna meet Min Fucking Yoongi, understood?" he hissed, threat clear and loud ringing in Jimin’s ear.
He felt paralyzed, in both surprise and fear that Yoongi had actually threatened him. Yoongi was in a strange way towering over him, seeing as there was a 1 inch height difference, making him feel so small.
" Stay the fuck away from me, my parents and my friends." and with one last hash glare he turned around and walked away.