Chapter Text
"Hey, they put up the Christmas tree lot."
Brian glanced out the window as they drove by. "Very observant."
"We should go on the weekend," Justin said.
Brian groaned inwardly. "Why on earth would we do that?"
"Duh, to get a tree. We could decorate the loft. It'll be fun."
"No, it won't," Brian said as he pulled to a stop at a light.
"Come on. I've never had my own tree. You know, as an adult."
"And when did you become an adult?"
Justin laughed and smacked him on the arm. "Well, I'm living with you, aren't I?"
"Yes, I guess you're a big boy now."
"So come on, let's do it. It'll be cool. You know, to have our own tree."
"Yeah, so it can drop needles all over the fucking floor and get sap on my Italian furniture."
"Brian, I doubt the Christmas tree will be humping the furniture."
"Look, there's no way I'm decking the halls." Brian decided to try a new approach. "Christmas is just a big commercial holiday anyway, it's all about materialism now," he said, disdainfully.
"Exactly. This holiday was made for you."
Brian shot Justin another glare as he shifted back into gear. "Yeah, well, we're not getting a fucking tree."
****
Brian cursed as he got stabbed with yet another pine needle. Maneuvering the stupid thing into its stand was harder than he thought it would be, especially alone. He finally got the trunk into the base and tightened the screws. Taking a step back, he cursed again at the decidedly slanted tree.
He went to the fridge and popped the cap off a beer, taking a deep gulp. Justin had been so mopey every time he saw anything holiday-related (which was all the damn time) that Brian finally decided to put them both out of their misery. Now he was seriously questioning that decision and contemplated throwing the tree down the stairs and dragging it out to the curb.
The loft door slid open and that option was pretty much null and void.
"Brian? What....what's this?" Justin stared at it with awe.
"Do I actually have to answer that?"
"I can't believe you did this for me." He grinned as he dropped his book bag at his feet.
Brian shrugged and rolled his eyes, and Justin kissed him and hugged him tightly before turning back to look at the tree. "It's so big! And green! And...um, it's a little crooked."
Brian glared at him and slammed his beer down on the counter. "Well come over and hold it up straight while I fix it."
Justin reached through the branches and grasped the trunk, pulling the tree upright. "So, did you get decorations, too?"
"No, I thought we'd just string together some cranberries and popcorn," Brian said as he fiddled with the tree stand.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Brian stood up and they both took a step back to admire the straightened tree. Justin looked around and spied the boxes of ornaments piled up by the couch. He picked them up carefully.
"Jesus, Brian, these are beautiful. They must have cost a fortune."
"What, did you expect me to go shopping at the Big Q?" Brian asked, shuddering.
"No, of course not. You're way too much of a label queen for that."
"Damn right."
"What kind of lights did you get?"
Brian smirked to himself. "The multicoloured ones." He knew that Justin liked them because he'd only mentioned it about five billion times.
Justin smiled. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Now come on, let's decorate this fucking thing already."
"Okay. Oh, wait." Justin practically skipped over to the stereo and searched through some CDs. Soon, "Joy to the World" was playing.
Brian winced. "Since when do I have Christmas carols?"
"Since I moved in," Justin said. He wrapped his arms around Brian's waist and slid his tongue into his mouth as he pulled him close.
By the time the CD ended, they were shrugging their clothes back on. Justin returned to the stereo and Brian started stringing the lights. As music filled the loft once more, he groaned and realized that Justin actually owned more than one holiday album.
****
Brian tossed his jacket and briefcase on the counter and slid the door shut behind him. The loft was silent and dark, and he wondered where Justin had gone after class as he headed over to the tree and plugged it in. He'd never admit it, but he kind of liked it. As the soft, colourful light filled the living room, he turned and his heart skipped a beat.
"Jesus, Justin. What are you doing in the dark?"
Justin lay on the couch. "I guess I fell asleep."
Brian walked over and peered at him intently. "You weren't asleep. What's wrong?" He ran his fingers lightly through Justin's hair.
Justin sat up and made room for Brian on the couch. "You're going to laugh, it's so stupid."
"What is?"
"I went to my mom's to get the car, you know, because she said I could use it while she's away at that conference." Brian nodded and Justin continued, "So Molly needed a ride to my dad's, and I took her."
Brian tensed and his hand moved to massage the back of Justin's neck. "And?"
"He was out there on the lawn, tossing a football around with his girlfriend's little kid. It's like, the most stereotypical father/son activity ever, and my dad was smiling this huge smile. He looked so...happy. I remember when he used to look at me like that." He shook his head and wiped his eyes. "Fuck, I'm such a pussy. See, I told you it was stupid. I mean, why the fuck do I care?"
"Because he's your father. It's not stupid."
Justin blinked a couple of times and leaned into Brian's arms. "As I was watching, I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I thought about him. And I remembered telling you that I couldn't imagine not seeing him, because he's my dad." He sighed. "It's kind of amazing how you can see someone every day for years, and they're such a big part of your life, and then…they disappear. And after a while, you hardly notice."
"I know," Brian said, holding him close.
Justin sniffed and mumbled, "I bet you never cried over your dad." He sat up and wiped his cheeks. His face was bathed in red and green and yellow and pink and blue light, and his eyes shone. Sometimes, Brian forgot how beautiful he was.
He pressed their lips together softly and wrapped his arms around Justin again. After a few minutes, he whispered, "You'd be wrong."