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The storm had been brewing all day; dark clouds hung thick in the sky, bearing down on the earth like anvils. It was not the best day for a photoshoot, let alone anything else, but that's what Ace found xemself doing, along with the rest of the band, at some far-flung orphanage in Scotland, surrounded by rubble, half-demolished walls, and a stench of abandonment.
Ace hated it the moment xe stepped inside. Xe could feel dying souls calling to xem, the faint souls of forgotten children asking to be freed. Ace didn't expect them to be so strong as they pleaded with xem, and some of the pain and memories they shared with xem left xem so distracted, xe could barely concentrate on what xe was meant to be doing.
"Oi, Ace, c'mon, pay attention for five seconds, will you?" Trevor said as he dragged xem over to where the rest of the band was.
But Ace wasn't paying attention as xe stood there, a child either side of xem, watching the darkening sky. It wasn't just clouds anymore. There was billowing smoke, and the thundering sound of horses' hooves echoing across the sky. Ace knew exactly what that was, and who was coming for them, and Ace wondered if xe would be strong enough to fend them off on xyr own. Xe didn't think so. They would all be slaughtered before Ace could save them.
"Rafa'el, Samael, Great Mikhael, Champion of Elohim, lend me your armies. Angels with blackened wings are coming for us, and I am not strong enough to defend against them. Please, Ha-Shem, Adonai, Great G-d, please, send help, or I will be sending innocent children to Heaven," Ace murmured, watching the approaching storm, hoping xyr prayer would be heard and answered.
"You alright, Ace? What's wrong?"
Ace didn't really hear the voice. Xe just stared off at the sky, scared and unsure what to do. Xe took a step back, wanting to run. "They're coming. We need to get out of here. They're coming to kill us. The storm, it's coming straight for us. Those Angels will not spare us."
Trevor looked in the direction Ace was staring, and he saw the thundering black smoke coming towards them. It took a moment to convince himself it wasn't just a storm cloud, but a moving mass of, well, something. The air suddenly turned ominous, and it unsettled everyone.
"Bev, you can see that too, right? Over there, that black thing. I swear to you, it's moving, and I ain't high, I swear," Trevor said nervously.
"We need to get out of here. We need to run before they get here," Ace said, stepping backwards. Xe could feel xyr wings beating agitatedly against xyr back, offering the only source of light in the growing darkness.
The thundering had become louder now, and it was more apparent that it was not thunder. An ordinary storm would not make everyone feel so unsettled, not now that billowing black figures could be seen amongst the black smoke that had spread across the sky as far as they could see. As lighting flashed, and fire could be seen in the distance in places it really ought not to be, the children behind them began screaming and crying, and Ace watched as xyr friends fled back to the building behind them, photographer in tow, as the approaching storm drew ever nearer.
Ace did not run, though. Xe was frozen to the spot, filled with fear. The two children at xyr side had not left; they were clutching onto xem tightly, as if asking for xyr reassurances. Ace wondered if they would be safe, given how badly the Archangel inside xem wanted to be freed to deal with the demonic angels that were approaching. Xe didn't get much of a chance to find out. As xe saw the head of a horse came out of the smoke, Azriel broke free.
Azriel spread xyr light all over the surrounding area as xyr wings grew and spread. Xe had retrieved xyr sword, and its flames licked the blade. Azriel stood xyr ground, hoping xe might frighten them off. Lifting the sword high above xyr head, xe drove the blade deep into the earth at xyr feet, sending a line of flame out away from them, moving to surround the orphanage and its land.
"This land is defended! You may not enter! The light of Ha-Shem will drive you from this place! Leave now! The Angel of G-d forbids you to enter here!" Azriel shouted into the wind.
It became apparent quite quickly that the demonic angels were not going to stop, and unsure what else to do, xe picked up the two children cowering at xyr feet and ran.
Xyr wings propelled xem along, but it wasn't enough. The black swarm overwhelmed them, and in a moment of sudden, striking pain, Azriel felt xemself felled in one clean hit, and xe fell to the ground, holding the children tight as xe tried to save them. Another strike to the back of xyr head, and everything fell into darkness.
Azriel was afraid of the darkness xe saw around xem. Xe wasn't sure if xe'd died, or if xe had been sent somewhere awful. Xe was leaning against something solid, and there were all the sounds xe remembered from Gehinnom echoing all around xem. Frightened, xe curled xyr wings around xyr body, trying to comfort xemself.
It was then that xe became aware of the two children curled up on either side of xem, the same two xe'd had with xem before. They appeared to be sleeping. The soft white glow of xyr wings lit up their dirty faces, and xe could see they were shackled. As xe moved xyr neck, xe suddenly felt the cold iron ring around it, keeping xem bound to the wall. They were all imprisoned here in the dark.
As xe shifted a little, the girl woke, yawning as she shifted closer, sitting beside xem. Azriel wrapped an arm around her, then a wing, and wondered what was going to happen to them.
"You alright?" Azriel asked, voice soft and afraid.
The girl nodded. She was about five or six, with blonde hair, and spoke with a thick Scottish accent that Azriel needed a moment to understand. "I'm alright, and so's him. Where are we, Angel? Can we get outta here?"
Azriel didn't know. Xe shook xyr head. "I can't remember what happened. I don't know where we are. Why are you two still with me, anyway?"
"You're an Angel. Angels are meant to protect us. We're safe with you. We're not worried," the girl replied, sounding quite sure of herself.
Azriel wasn't so sure about that. As xe shifted, xe felt a sharp pain in xyr hip, and assumed that was where xe'd been struck. Xyr whole left leg was stiff and didn't want to move. Azriel didn't want to know what that meant.
"Are y'scared, Angel? What're y'scared of?" the girl asked.
"I'm scared of the bad angels out there. Ha-Shem has abandoned me, and He did not send His armies to save us. I am wounded, and I am afraid I cannot save you," Azriel said.
"Don't be silly. Angels aren't bad," the girl insisted.
"Some of them are. They turned away from Ha-Shem, they Fell to the Earth, and they tempt and hurt people. I'm not a bad angel, but the angels out there are. They hurt me," Azriel said.
The girl hugged xem. Azriel just felt exhausted. Leaning xyr head back against the wall, xe wondered if they would get out of here alive, assuming they were still alive. Azriel couldn't shake the suspicion that they were all dead, and this was some sort of horrid spirit realm in Gehinnom where they would be tortured for eternity.
"What's your name, anyway?" Azriel murmured.
"Grace. What's your name?" she asked.
"Azriel. How long have you been in that horrid place, anyway? The orphanage, I mean. What happened to your parents?" xe replied.
Grace appeared to shrug. "I don't know. I think I've been there since I was born. I don't really remember."
Azriel was surprised. "You never knew them?"
Grace shrugged again. "Of course not. No one here knows who their parents are. We don't have 'em."
"Don't you want them, then? Everyone wants parents," Azriel said.
"I don't. Do Angels have parents, then?" Grace asked.
Azriel thought a moment. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it that way. I don't think we do, though. I think we're just created when Ha-Shem needs us. I have human parents, though, but I haven't seen them for years. I think I'm dead to them."
"What's it like having parents, then? Is it good?" Grace asked.
Azriel shrugged. "Mine didn't like me very much. I've spent most of my human life taking care of myself. No one else bothered. I think you're better off without them."
"How can they not like an Angel? That sounds mean," Grace said.
"They were mean. I've been alone for a long time, though. I sometimes wonder why they never left me in a place like this. It's not like they ever really cared for me," Azriel said.
"Maybe they were bad angels, then," Grace concluded.
Azriel managed a smile. "Maybe."
Ace wasn't sure how long they sat there together in the cold. Xe tried to sleep, but it wasn't always easy, not with all the horrifying sounds all around them. The iron ring around xyr neck caused just enough pain that xe could not settle. Ace didn't know if the rest of the band were dead, or kept somewhere else. Maybe they were being tortured. All xe knew was that xe had these two children with xem, and that was better than nothing. At least, they were safe, for now.
Ace could feel the exhaustion flooding xyr body. Xe was cold, and xyr injured leg still did not want to move. Xe didn't know if it was paralysed, or if it just did not want to move. It was hard to tell where it was injured; the pain flooded xyr leg to the point of numbness. The light from xyr wings wasn't bright enough to offer enough light to check for a wound.
At some point, the boy woke, but he didn't feel particularly talkative. He didn't actually speak at all. Grace said his name was Jack, but she'd never heard him speak, and somehow, they'd become friends. She often made sure he had food because sometimes he didn't hear what was being said to him. Jack snuggled up inside Ace's wing, close to xyr body, and leant against xem. Even Grace stopped talking after a while, and then they all just sat in silence except for the whisper of Ace praying to G-d, asking to be saved.
The iron ring around xyr neck was beginning to cut into xyr shoulders, and the chain jolted xyr neck if xe moved in the wrong way. Leaning back against the wall, it just served to press hard into xyr head, leaving xem unable to be comfortable.
The children slept. Ace did everything but, particularly when xe heard heavy footsteps approaching from some place in the distance. The floor shook, and it woke the children. Ace wasn't sure what was going on. Maybe they were about to be killed. Ace wrapped xyr wings tight around them all, hoping it might save them.
"Are the bad angels coming?" Grace whispered.
"I don't know. I hope not," Ace replied.
There was a loud growl, and chains rattled. Somewhere, there was a bright light, and Ace could smell burning. With nothing else to do, xe wrapped xyr wings tightly around xemself, and the children, using all the strength xe had left to bring out what remained of the Archangel's power in a bid to protect them. It didn't last long, though, and moments later, Ace passed out, xyr body too weak to handle the Archangel's power.
Ace felt xyr wings first. They sat stiffly against xyr back, but they didn't feel broken. Xe could not open xyr eyes. Xyr left leg was still stiff, unwilling to be moved, and there was a sharp pain in xyr abdomen as xe tried to shift. Xe thought xyr arms were bent in strange ways, or perhaps xe was holding something in xyr arms, but xe could not really remember how xe had come to be in such pain, or where xe was. Xe thought xe heard voices, but xe was used to hearing voices, and they didn't particularly bother xem.
"Ace? Hey, he's over here! Ace, are you alright? Ace?"
"Take me to the Heavens, Samael. Take me back to Elohim," Ace murmured.
There might've been people around xem then, moving things. It was hard to tell. Xe found it difficult to open xyr eyes, but as xyr body was lifted and jolted into a different position, they opened, and xe saw what looked like rubble and smoke all around xem.
Ace was laid down on the ground, staring up at the sky. Xe wanted to sit up, but xe had no energy to do so. Xe felt two small bodies come to xyr side as xe lay there, and it stirred a memory in xyr mind.
"What happened?" Ace whispered.
"The bad angels hurt him. They came, they did, and they hurt him," a small voice said.
Ace concentrated on moving xyr arms; xe didn't have the energy to care about the misgendering. With what strength xe had left, xe held the two children as close as xe could, feeling better knowing they were both still there, and still alive.
Someone knelt behind xem and lifted xem up, allowing xem to lean against them. Some water was offered, and Ace was too out of it to really refuse it, or to notice who was with xem.
"Come now, Azriel. You should know better than to take on those legions on your own. You should have called for help," said the body offering water.
"But I did. I did call. Ha-Shem never answered me. He never sent His armies. They slaughtered us all," Ace whispered, the memories returning slowly. "I was abandoned like these children were abandoned. I tried, but I'm just so weak. I couldn't stop them."
A hand gently stroked Ace's head, and xe forced xemself to see who was with xem, turning xyr head to look at the person beside xem. Xyr neck ached, and a sharp pain slid down xyr spine, but xe did finally come to see the welcoming face of Lucifer, cradling xem gently in their arms.
"You should have called, Azriel. Ha-Shem would never have left you to fight these demons on your own," Lucifer said.
"I did ask, I did call. I prayed in the darkness, I begged and pleaded. I sent my prayers to the Heavens. If Ha-Shem had cared, He would have sent His legions to help. I have been abandoned like these children, left in this living hell, thrown away like rubbish. I belong to no god," Ace insisted.
"Why do you keep talking about children, Azriel? What was this place?" Lucifer asked.
"Orphanage. It was an - orphanage. I tried to save them all, Samael, but I couldn't - I wasn't strong enough. Ha-Shem didn't send His legions. All the children are dead, aren't they? All those abandoned children. I couldn't save them. I just couldn't save them," Ace said, voice broken by xyr tears.
"Silly angel. I aren't dead, and neither is him. You saved us, angel," Grace said, looking up at xem with a smile.
Ace held them both as best xe could, overwhelmed with joy and grief. "I'll take you away from this place, alright? I'll take you away from this awful place. I won't abandon you like Ha-Shem abandoned me."
"You have not been abandoned, Azriel, I promise you that. Come on, let's get you all out of here. You're going to need to get that leg looked at," Lucifer said.
The hospital was weird, and not just because xe spent all xyr time trying to understand a variety of Scottish accents, but at least they hadn't thought xem mad and locked xem away. Xe seemed to be in the regular hospital, which was not something xe was used to. Xyr leg was bandaged and set in plaster, resting on a small cushion to keep it level. It appeared to be the only serious injury xe'd sustained, apart from a collection of bruises and cuts. Even xyr wings had managed to escape unscathed, and they lay underneath xem like a soft cushion, reassuring xem that xe was safe, for now.
As xe looked down, the two children from the orphanage were still lying beside xem, as if they didn't want to leave xyr side.
"They said it was an esplosion. But I don't believe them. It was bad angels, I told 'em, but they won't believe me. Are you going to be alright now, angel?" Grace asked.
Ace nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I suppose they'll be moving you on to another place now, hey?"
"Oh, no. Jack and I are running away. We just wanted to make sure you were alright," she replied.
"Surely you're too young to run away. It's too dangerous out there," Ace said, horrified at the idea of the two of them being out there on their own.
"We'll be alright. We've got an angel watching out for us. You're Azriel, aren't you?" Grace replied.
Ace nodded. "I'm Azriel, Archangel of Death. Call on me if you ever need help. I'll answer. I won't abandon you."
They hugged him once more before clambering down to leave xem alone. Ace almost didn't want them to go, but xe knew that was what they wanted. Xe hoped they'd be alright out there in the world on their own.
Xe lay back, staring at the ceiling. Everything hurt, and xe felt very tired. Xe didn't know what had happened to xyr friends, though. Xe hadn't seen them since the storm came, and they'd run away. Maybe they were all dead. Ace wouldn't have been surprised by that.
"I meant what I said when I told you you hadn't been abandoned, Azriel," Lucifer said as they appeared at the foot of xyr bed.
Ace looked up at them, scowling. "I bloody have, or that wouldn't have happened. Ha-Shem would've sent His armies, and those Angels would have been defeated. He left me there alone. He knew I wasn't strong enough to defeat them on my own. He let all those little kids die. I felt every one of 'em, Samael. I felt every single soul as it went to Heaven. None of 'em needed to die. This was all Ha-Shem's fault."
"We heard no word of your predicament until it was too late. If you had called sooner, I promise you, Ha-Shem would have sent Mikhael and His Armies to save you," Lucifer said.
"I called before they were upon us. I defended that place in His name. I called and prayed, begged and pleaded, waiting for any sign that He would answer. But none ever came. I was caged in a place of darkness, chained and injured. I did all I could to defend that place. If Ha-Shem did not hear me until it was all over, then He has deafened Himself to me, and I am as abandoned as those orphans who died. I will not bow to Him if He will allow this to happen. He has the blood of unloved, innocent children on His hands. I will not obey a god who allows children to be slaughtered by demons," Ace shot back.
Lucifer straightened. "Is there nothing I can say to change your mind on this matter?"
"None. I belong to no god. I am no one's Angel. Azriel will bow to no god," Ace said, feeling the anger of the Archangel coming through in xyr speech.
Lucifer sighed. "Well, all I can say is that I tried. Perhaps, in time, you will turn back to G-d."
Ace turned away from them, crossing xyr arms. "Leave me alone."
When xe looked back, Lucifer had gone.
Ace didn't see anyone else for three days when Trevor came to see xem. Trevor's right arm was in a sling, and he appeared to be limping a little, but otherwise seemed fine, which surprised Ace. Xe had written them all off as dead, but at least Trevor had managed to survive.
"Hey, so this is where you are. Trust them to take you to a different hospital than where they took us. At least you're not dead," Trevor said as he eased himself into a chair by the bed.
Ace turned to look at him. "I thought you lot were all dead. What even happened?"
"Dunno. They said it was some sort of gas explosion. Ripped the building apart. There weren't many survivors. Just us, and half a dozen kids, I think one of the nurses, but that's about it," Trevor said.
"Are the lads alright, then? Are they still in hospital?" Ace asked.
Trevor nodded. "Roy's got a spot of concussion and a fractured collar bone. Bev dislocated a shoulder, and he broke his wrist again. Charlie's the worst, though. Had some rubble fall on him and broke some ribs. Got some bruising on his lungs or something. I dunno. He'll be alright, but he's not getting out for a while. How 'bout you? Just the leg, then?"
"Yeah, broke it in several places. Fucking hurts, man. I'm glad that's all it is, though. I'm glad the others are alright, too. Any idea when we're getting out of here, then?" Ace said.
Trevor shrugged. "When Charlie's fit to travel, probably. A few weeks, maybe a month? They reckon Roy'll be out maybe tomorrow, Bev by the end of the week. I just broke me arm. Patched me up and sent me on my way. They discharged me yesterday. You look like you're in for a stay, though."
Ace nodded. "Ten days, maybe two weeks. I can't even get out of bed yet in case I fuck up my leg, jolt it in the wrong way, break the setting. I'm so bored, though. There's nothing to do here."
"I'll keep you company, then. It's not like I've got anything else to do while I'm here. I've got a room at a motel in town, but it's boring just staying there on my own. Might as well stay with you, now that I know where you are," Trevor said.
"Thanls, Trev. I'd like that," Ace replied. "Felt I'd been abandoned all over again. Cut off from Heaven, an' all. You remember the black clouds right before ... whatever it was that happened?"
Trevor thought a moment. "Black clouds? What kind of black clouds?"
"Ones that moved like death," Ace said, resorting to the only words that made any sense.
Trevor appeared to shiver at the description. It stirred a memory of something, but he didn't quite know what. "This isn't about the Angels again, is it?"
Ace nodded, xyr expression serious. "I know sometimes I'm just seeing daft things, but this ain't like that at all. Bad Angels came to destroy us, and Ha-Shem didn't save us. He forgot us like all those poor orphaned kids. He left us there to die."
Trevor looked a little nervous, but didn't quite accept xyr words. "Nah, nah, it wasn't like that. It was - like they said, there was a gas explosion. That's what did it. Right?"
"I saw 'em in the clouds. Bad Angels with black wings. I-I tried to protect us, but I wasn't strong enough. The Angels overwhelmed me, and destroyed the place. Ha-Shem let it happen. He didn't send His legions to help. I begged and begged, but He didn't send help. He has forsaken me, Trev. He has abandoned me," Ace said, panic and grief flooding xyr body.
"I'm sure He hasn't, man. I'm sure it was just a freak accident," Trevor said, trying to comfort xem.
Ace was half-sure that, of course, there must have been an explosion, and that xyr mind must have created the Angels as a way to cope, but xe couldn't shake the feeling that both had happened, and that the Angels had caused the explosion. But getting Trevor, let alone anyone else, to accept that wasn't going to happen.
Xe sighed. "Maybe."
Trevor took a moment to think. "Alright, maybe it was Angels. I mean, I do remember those clouds and how strangely they moved. Bev mentioned something about them too, last time I went to see him. Maybe it was Angels. But I dunno. I just... I dunno."
"It's alright, I know it's daft to even suggest it. I ain't even told anyone else about it because I'll just get sectioned again, and that ain't fun. I've learnt to shut up about the Angels if I want to be left alone," Ace said.
Trevor looked at xem, confused. "When have you ever been sectioned?"
Ace shrugged. "Oh, a while ago. Before the band, I think? I can't half remember the dates. Psychosis is a bitch."
It was, perhaps, an edited version of the truth, or what Ace remembered of the truth. Xe wasn't sure Trevor would believe xem if xe talked about being an incarnate Archangel. He knew, of course, about xem seeing Angels and talking to Ha-Shem a lot, but xe had never quite plucked up the courage to tell him xe was an Archangel. Now didn't seem like the time, either. But maybe, one day, when xe was perhaps feeling braver...
"Nah, let's not talk about that, alright? I ain't got the energy. I'll get out of here, Roy and Bev will get out, and once Charlie's ready, we'll get out of this miserable place and go home, alright?" Ace said. "I bloody miss Birmingham. And fags. I need a bloody smoke. I hate this bloody place."
Trevor nodded in sympathy. "Yeah, I hear ya. What a bloody disaster this trip turned out to be. I ain't never going to Scotland ever again."