Work Text:
She sat in the chair, across from her a man sat at a small, utilitarian desk reading over his notes, like he hadn't done so before. Each of their sessions started the same in near silence. If it were not for the idle hum of the air circulators the sound of their breathing and swallowing would deafen the air. By now they had gotten passed her feelings about the mission and were into the more grittier personal questions she would rather avoid.
She hated shrinks, she hated having to rationalize her relationship with Kaiden or how she established her team. But there was a process and since her debriefing the brass thought it would be best to talk over every inch of her experience. No human had ever interacted with a Prothean beacon before, thus there was no way to tell how the beacon had altered her. So after the battery of physical tests it was now time for something a bit more personal. And the brass may have been right about there being something wrong with her. At least she thought so because she had never been so horny in all her life.
Maybe all that Prothean data in her mind had snapped something loose. Either way since the night with Kaiden before Ilos she had been finding her mind wandering and this insatiable urge to fuck anything with a heart beat. Like the man sitting across from her with his thin knobby fingers and graying hair, those pursed thin lips to match his equally thin form. And all she could think was how she wanted to snatch the data pad from his hands and fuck him right there in his chair.
She felt certain her arousal showed, if not her embarrassment certainly turned her cheeks a few shades red. The man wasn't even her type and yet her thoughts just kept turning back to his hands and what she wanted him to do to her.
Slowly the man cleared her throat. “So, Commander Shepard, have you noticed any changes recently to how you reason out your choices?”
It was an odd question but she had already been through the memory test and every other mental test they could throw at her. Now it was time to go over her choices and her feelings about those choices, but there was no way she was going to tell some Alliance goon about her libido.
So instead she shook her head. “No.”
“Okay then let's go over some of the choices you made.”
Here we go.
An hour later she stepped out of the inconspicuous non-labeled door with her next session booked for tomorrow. It was obvious the Alliance wanted her back in the field, but the Council- The Council she saved was likely pushing for a full work through. Since she had the most interaction with the Reaper, Saren and the Prothean device it was easy to see they wanted to make sure another Rogue Spectre didn't just pop up.
But it still left her frustrated as she moved through the corridors. She knew the right remedy but there was a snag. Kaiden wanted nothing more then to talk, she on other hand wanted him to fuck her until she couldn't think straight. Sighing internally she hated the compromises she had to endure. Getting to the lift she pressed the button to summon the small box that would return her to her floor. She was sure the brass were watching her now and they had likely organized it so that when she was on the move no one but shrinks and professionals were all she saw. It was better then her guard detail the first couple of days where they chaperoned her everywhere.
Elsewhere
“She's hiding something.”
“We know but we can't keep her grounded forever no matter the Council’s opinion.”
“She's not going to like her new assignment.”
“She'll figure a way to make it work.”
“Do you believe what she's said?”
“Yes. As far fetched as it may be we all saw the ship. Unfortunately, we may be the minority in that group. Already the Council is claiming it was a geth attack.”
“Shepard won't like that.”
She'll make it work.”
Slowly the lift doors swished open and she stepped in. Alone again. Signaling her floor on the display she waited for the doors to close. Just a split second before being hoisted away she caught a glimpse of someone crossing in front of her lift. The view wasn't much but she had seen shoulders, nice broad shoulder and cropped military issue hair. The image was brief but already she could feel her mind spinning in all directions. Her body reacted almost involuntarily and seemed to send a tingling pulse right down to her labya. Closing her eyes she imagined her lips running along those shoulders and big warm hands sweeping her hair aside to kiss her neck. Then her thoughts were interrupted by a beep and the lift door swishing open.
Shaking her head she stepped out, but she was already feeling a bit too geared up. Sauntering down the corridor she could feel her hands as they skimmed against her legs, arms brushing against her breasts. Her mind kept going back to those shoulders, but she had enough common sense for now to not start shoving her hands down her pants until she got back to her room.
Keying into her room she took no time in unbuttoning her regulation shirt and throwing it onto one of the small chairs of the the little living space of her room. It was time like these she missed the Normandy and the space of her room there. Of course she didn't miss the need to muffle her moans, but here everything was paired down and simple. Bed near a wall, a small living space with a coffee table, loveseat and chair, a small work desk and chair and a small bathroom. Of course her room happened to be one without a window. But the size of the room and her limited interaction with the world left her a little sir crazy. At least she knew no one was watching her in here or at least she hoped not because they got a nightly show if not more.
Flopping down in her work chair she shimmied her boots off and sighed feeling her fingers just graze against her thighs. Slowly her other hand raised and brushed gently against the fabric of her tank top before sliding under to touch bare skin. Closing her eyes she imagined the hands were not her own and immediately her breathing changed and her own hands were clawing to remove her clothes.
Beep – Beep. Son of a – god even being locked up the never ending tirade of “Shepard blah blah this, I need help with that, yada yada go do this,” continued. Growling she wrenched the tablet from her desk to see the message that had just interrupted her. There on her tablet was the reminder of dinner with Kaiden tonight. She had set the reminder after everyone had gone through the usual hoop hopping when a superior starts shacking up with a subordinate. The brass had allowed her some 'relaxing time' after she had passed her initial round of tests and really they couldn’t deny what was already out in the open.
Thumbing through the rest of the messages she saw some she had already read from Hackett and Anderson letting her know the progress on the Normandy and clean up at the Citadel. She knew they were holding back on something, likely whatever it was they would tell her once she had been cleared for duty. There was one message from Garrus asking her how she was doing and that he was calibrating the Normandy guns again. It was close to the same theme from Liara, Tali and Joker. Everyone waiting on her green light so they could get back to fighting the Reapers.
So far most of her team had been sequestered from her, all likely being questioned and examined. It was only recently that she had been allowed contact via messages. Hopefully everyone else was getting a bit frustrated by the stone walling. Maybe this is why she felt so horny. She missed Kaiden even with his incessant need to talk about what their relationship meant. There was no way she could divert tonight to what she wanted. But it wasn't long before her mind found its own bit of compromise to get her wish.
Since their night out wast until 1900 hours there was enough time in the day to take a long, long shower with her new friend the pulsating jet spout at close to the right height. It was supposed to be used to massage and relax tight muscle, well she had something that needed to be relaxed or maybe take the edge off. At least she could get herself to relax so that when Kaiden came by she didn't just rip his clothes off and have her way with him in the door way. Putting the tablet back on the table she shifted out of the chair and headed for the bathroom. With each step she began to deftly take off her clothes. One by one each layer fell to the ground as he marched to the simple bathroom.
Currently she had no clue if she had neighbors or not. So far there was no noise that she could hear, but if she did have neighbors they must certainly be getting an earful at least twice a day. This wasn't to say she was a loud person when a orgasm hit, but more her moans and shuddered breaths certainly made up for any screaming. You learned real quick in the military the cost of being loud when trying to get some. Crossing in front of the mirror she caught her reflection and noticed some of the bruises and scratches showing signs of recovery. Of course her options of shirts would be limited, not that she had a lot to choose from, but she needed to choose carefully unless she wanted the usual stares or to explain every contusion on her body. Her legs were not so banged up and it might be nice to tantalize Kaiden by wearing a skirt even if she hated the infernal things.
Smirking to herself she slid the glass door to the shower aside. Turning on the water there was the initial burst of cool water before it began to shift to her usual preset temperature. Slowly stepping in she closed the glass door and stepped under the shower head. For a long moment she let the water just cascade down her body. After a few moments she thumbed the lever that gave her a small disc that helped clean her skin and hair.
Usually you had to be quick with the disc as it would slowly disintegrate until nothing was left. Combing the disc through her hair she then began to run the disc along her arms and legs. Any unwanted body hair could easily be dealt with by another disk, but she had used that the other day and felt smooth and clean. Dropping what was left onto the shower floor her hands began to meander.
Within seconds her fingers were at the cropped edge of her pubic hair and sliding down to her moistened folds. A finger glided against her clit bringing a tingle through her body. Reaching around with her other hand she thumbed the massaging jets and began to back up. Her new friend was one set to the lower back region but if she hitched up at just the spot her frustrations would be massaged away. Usually she could take care of her own climax but if she wanted to survive the date with Kaiden it meant making sure she did more then a little finger fucking.
She knew her libido was bad when her vigorous fingering meant her whole hand nearly shrinking from view. Pressing her back against the shower she moaned even before she was in place. Her mind was back on those shoulders again and the hands she imagined roughly grabbing at her breasts. Fingers squeezing eagerly and thumbing her nipple until it was as hard as little pebbles. She thought of the mouth, at one biting and then leisurely tonguing until each ministration sent a wave through her chest. Rough hands splaying her thighs aside as a warm and very randy body stood pressed against hers. Then in a jolt her muscles clenched and her moans and grunts echoed off the shower walls and through the bathroom. Her body coursed with electric sparks flying from her center to every limb. Slowly she lost her position on the pulsating jet as all her limbs failed and she only had the sense to catch herself and slump in one corner. After her third orgasm she found it hard to breathe in the shower and decided to call it quits. Hopefully she had done enough damage to her libido to get her through tonight. She doubted it but it was worth keeping her sanity.
Pressing a bit of lip gloss to her lips she checked her reflection a final time. She did not have many clothes that were not military regulations and not military dress. Heck the only reason she had something other then military clothes was due to the inauguration party a few years back for Admiral Anderson. If she hadn't been bullied into getting dress clothes there would be no way she would be wearing a skirt right now or a low heeled shoe. Kaiden prepare to get your socks blown off. Just at that thought the door beeped and she moved from the bathroom to the door.
Since she was planning on getting Kaiden back to her room later she had cleaned up the place, put away all her clothes into the cleaner and the rest were folded back up and put into the drawers of her small dresser. Sliding her hands down her sides she let her fingers linger on the mid-sleeve v-neck silky green top. The woman at the shop said it brought out the color of her eyes and she guessed she would just have to take the woman on that fact. Taking a deep breath she tried to be ready for finally having some real human contact and right at about now she wished she had done more finger loving then she had done in the shower.
Thumbing the door catch the door slid open leaving her with a dressed down Kaiden. Fuck he looked good. She couldn't remember when she had seen him out of his military clothes, well except for when she took them off that one night, but now out of his fatigues it was too much. Smiling she tried to hide what she thought of as her almost obvious arousal. “Hey.” She whispered.
“Hey Shepard. Wow you look good.”
She just kept staring at those lips and tried to remain perfectly calm. “Thanks, you clean up pretty nice yourself.”
For a moment they hung there admiring the other before he gestured to the hallway. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah.” Slipping out of the room she followed Kaiden into the hallway. He had made the plans on where they would be eating, so at this point she was following his lead. But there was something on his face she wasn't sure she understood.
“I – uh missed you.” God she was horrible at relationships. She hadn't quite been in a real relationship in – well forever. Most of the time if she shacked up with someone they would run into each other and take what they wanted but once space and missions pulled them apart there was an unspoken agreement that all was well between them. This time she didn't think that would be the case with Kaiden. He was on her team now. Sliding up next to him she took his hand in hers and she saw his cheeks flush a bit before squeezing her own hand.
“I missed you too Shepard. They give you an ETA yet on when we'll be headed back out?”
“Not a clue, but I'm itching to get out of that room and back to my ship.” It was weird to think of her ship when so long ago she felt she was stealing the ship from Anderson. Now after all she had been through she couldn't think of being on any other ship.
“Hmm, too bad. Well I picked something nice and quiet I hope you don't mind.”
That gravely voice – she missed it. She could listen to him read thermal read outs all day and be content, that and his stubbled face right between her thighs. Sweet fucking jesus – this night was going to be torture.
“No, quiet would be nice.” Following him to the elevator she could see a few people milling about. Well it looked like some of the shackles were off. Big Brother was likely still watching, but it was nice to think she might be closer to getting back to command. Back to where maybe if she had a mission she wouldn't be thinking about sex all the time. She hoped so or Kaiden was going to have to get used to her increased libido and her need for him or at the very least his hands or mouth.
Slipping into the lift there were a couple of people on board which meant no throwing him to the lift walls and savagely kissing him. Instead she let him slide along the wall and she stood close by letting her ass brush against his thigh. Oh she had plans for tonight, she might have to compromise over the talking, but there was no way she wasn't going to torment him the way she was tormented every second in his presence soaking up his cologne in her nose and the heat from his body. She wanted to whisper to him she was wearing no panties but decided she would keep that for the after dinner conversation.
For the rest of the transition from elevator to restaurant they were among people so there was no chance at forcing his hand between her legs or some of the other thoughts rustling in her brain. Instead they had small talk about what he had been up to and how work on the Normandy was going. It seemed he was waiting as well to discuss their relationship at least until they had some type of more muted privacy and she wasn't going to press the talks. Instead she let him know about all the tests she was going through and the standard shrink sessions. She felt shy about telling him about her libido. Maybe once her desires were quenched everything would go back to normal so no point in bringing up something that just might be a fluke of her isolation.
Once they were seated and drinks ordered the mood shifted again on Kaiden's face. She tried to figure what she was doing wrong, but figured that in his time he would get to what was really bothering him. So she took a sip of wine, her first in a long time and sighed before reaching over and squeezing his left knee. Still nothing and she wasn't sure how to probe the subject. Instead she let the silence hang even after their order was taken and the food brought to the table. Already, she was gnawing at the bit and about to ask him what the fuck was up when he finally started to talk again.
“Shepard – I -about us. I mean.” Ah so this is why he hadn't said a word. Even his own mind couldn't come up with a good enough way to put what he wanted to say to words.
Reaching over she placed her hand on his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Kaiden it's okay. Whatever you want to say, just spit it out.”
For a while afterward there was silence and the waiter came by to fill their water glasses.
“The night before Ilos. I mean I can understand it being a hyped up time. We were about to take on Saren and step right into the unknown.”
She still didn't understand what he was talking about. Yeah they came out to the brass about their dalliance. But maybe she hadn't understood why. Was he blowing her off? The confusion on her face must have been apparent.
“I just can't have this – be a casual thing Shepard. I'm just not that kind of guy.”
Ah so that is what it was. He wanted to make sure it wasn't a one night stand or she wasn't just stringing him along for kicks. Well the second part she couldn't be sure of, right now that was really all she could think of, but truth be told there was something about Kaiden. Sometimes he was so infuriating, so cautious, so reserved it drove her to near rage and then he'd give her a look that would just melt her to bits. Damn him all to hell for making her feel this way. So maybe it was time for a bit of honesty.
“Kaiden. I'm not the best at this, my track record is no good. But I want to try so hard and I know whatever is ahead I can't do it without you.” Breathing out she felt her cheeks flush. “I love you Kaiden.” What the fuck? Where had that come from? But she knew the moment she said it it was true. Maybe this is what happens when your in love, your so worked up for the person all else doesn't matter. She wasn't sure, she had never been sure but everything with him felt right why not this?
She could see her honesty hit his face, he seemed almost ready to hear something completely different and then she had dropped her little bombshell on him. “Oh god Shepard I love you too.” Then without notice he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a good thing he was up to keeping a decorum outside because if he didn't pull away she would have likely had her hands in compromising positions or much worse. For the rest of the dinner conversation seemed lighter and they laughed and joked, but eventually the need was crawling back in her mind stronger. Finally after dessert and a resting moment, she looked over to Kaiden. “Let's go back to my place.”
The offer was there and he seemed to know what she was talking about. He almost had the same look in his eyes, the one she swore she had all the time painted all over her face. From there it was all down hill. Stolen heated kisses, gropes of her breasts in the cab. Then the awkward moment in the full lift where she was purposefully grinding her ass into his pelvic region with a group of people all in their own worlds to notice stolen glances and odd brushes of heir hands in places. They were like a bunch of high school kids giggling as they left the lift and stumbling down the hallway.
Wrapping her arms around his shoulders she pulled him to her door. “I need you Kaiden.”
They fell together against the still closed door kissing heavily, her mouth opening to savor the sweet taste of his mouth. Her hands relished the feel of his body next to hers even if she was already half way to being ready to explode. Being worked up had its benefits or maybe pitfalls. Untangling one of her hands she thumbed the door open and both of them nearly fell into the room and straight to the floor. It was only Kaiden's sure arms that kept them both upright.
Her pelvis ground against his, feeling his erection beneath the small bit of fabric separating them. Moaning without thought she clawed at his shirt as they back pedaled to her bed. Their lips smashed together in heated kisses before breaking apart as his slipped lower to kiss at her neck. Each was like an electric pulse across her skin and each pulling her to that edge she was skating toward. Fuck she was going to get off before she even got him out of his clothes. Grabbing one of his hands that was positioned carefully at the lower part of her back she pressed it down toward the moist and throbbing area.
For a moment his hand seemed to not get the clue until his fingers brushed higher up her thighs and noticed she wasn't wearing any panties. But even his fingers that close were just getting her more worked up. With a fiddle of her fingers she snapped open his waist band and forced open the zipper. “Shepard.” Was all she heard whispered in her ear but it was enough. Reaching into his pants she pushed aside the offending fabric and found his erection. Good god it felt so good to feel it in her hands.
Each of them stumbled as they reached the bed. He sank a bit to his knees to stop them from falling over completely but she ended up on the bed. He was trying so hard to be gentle to take his time but she needed him and now. Raising up she forced his pants lower and grasped the erection in her hands the bit of pre-cum glistening at the tip. Shimmying with her hips she hiked up her own skirt and scooted herself closer. Kaiden was left with little option but to just go with her unspoken orders either that or her take charge attitude was something he wouldn't protest.
Grabbing his one hand she brought it up to her breast and began to slowly kneed it around until he seemed to get the point. Either way it didn't matter the way her slick inner thighs and awaiting vulva were riding up and down his shaft. Without even a penetration the two of them were breathing heavily and moaning. Finally she couldn't take it and just brought him right into her. For a moment there was nothing but a sigh of contentment.
“Fuck me Kaiden.” Was all she said and he seemed to understand. There would be nothing gentle about tonight. She needed this in all possible ways. Her hips moved against his and at first the thrusts were slow, but he could certainly feel how eager she was. Each of her hands commanded him to where his face or hands need to be. And when he did as she asked he was greated rewarded by a renewed bought of moaning. Either he was getting the hang of her needs or it really did not take much to get her to where she needed to be.
His fingers gliding over her pubic hair and gently plucking away at her clit, while his penis pushed deeper into her. Fuck this felt good. And then like that a rubber band snapped and her whole body clenched up, tightening up and then the wave hit her. She couldn't be sure if it was her or Kaiden who swore but he was right on the heels of her orgasm pumping into her harder and with more vigor until he seemed to shudder in his own way and let go.
Each wave was lessened but it was like turning on a switch. She still ground against Kaiden milking him every last ounce he had. When he was spent she put his fingers over her clit and pressed his fingers up to that sweet spot no one ever got right and into her next thundering orgasms. More. Kaiden was getting the hint. He grabbed her roughly and spun her around, pressing her thighs wide before he drove right into her awaiting and over moistened folds. More she kept screaming and he gave it to her in each stroke and thrust until her body stopped quaking from the need.