Work Text:
Blaine Anderson wants to die.
Literally.
He’s surprised that Lola’s Café has yet to fire him. It’s been exactly four hours since his little “mishap” and he’s been biting his nails anxiously all evening, awaiting the call that will inform him that he’s lost his job waiting tables due to disrespectful conduct, or something similarly vague.
Because he’s definitely fucked up. Big time.
It’s one thing to send in a wrong order to the kitchen or accidentally charge extra for a side of sour cream, but it’s a completely different story when you spill food all over a customer.
Especially when that customer is Sebastian Smythe.
“Fuck,” Blaine mutters to himself.
*
@sebsmythe: Incompetent wait staff at restaurants are the bane of my existence. 8m ago
@blainerss: @sebsmythe i’m so sorry let me pay for your laundry bill or something 5m ago
@blainerss: @sebsmythe on second thought i probably won’t have a source of income after this so just take my dearest apologies 5m ago
*
Although Lola’s is in the heart of downtown Los Angeles, they don’t get celebrity diners very often. Perhaps it’s because the place looks like a run-down shack from the outside; or maybe the food is just inedible (Blaine wouldn’t know—he’s never actually taken the time to try it). Either way, this means that when they do get the occasional famous guest, the world stops spinning and everyone is required to put the utmost effort into pleasing said customer. Blaine’s only been working at the café for a few months, now, but it has occurred twice—the first time, he served Natalie Portman a spinach quiche, and the second, he managed to snap a picture of one of the supporting actors from Twilight. But these two instances did little to prepare him for what would go down when Sebastian Smythe walked into the café on an average Tuesday afternoon.
Sebastian Smythe is relatively new to the Hollywood scene, having gotten his start in one of the previous summer’s huge blockbusters as a fresh, out-of-nowhere face that erupted into the film industry with gusto. The film was an enormous hit, leaving Sebastian with a handful of award nominations and a permanent following of both fans and paparazzi in just a matter of months.
And perhaps Blaine considers himself a part of that fan base.
So when Sebastian just happened to waltz in to Lola’s and sit down in his section, he may have gotten a tad bit nervous (trembling hands and pounding heart notwithstanding). He may be twenty, rather mature and eloquent and smart, but he is far from immune to Sebastian Smythe’s pure talent and painful good looks. Seeing him in the flesh? Well, his lack of immunity would only grow, of course.
He’d been doing fine, keeping his reactions to the utmost minimum and managing to take Sebastian’s order without his voice shaking (much), until about halfway through the meal, when his pantleg had caught on a nearby chair and the refilled Coke glass sitting on his tray went flying through the air and then splattered all across Sebastian’s lap.
It was something straight out of a horror movie.
It hadn’t helped that the restaurant around them fell stiflingly silent. Blaine somehow managed to snap himself out of his utter shock and began to apologize profusely, offering to get rid of the tab and have someone else come over to serve him instead, but then Sebastian had continued to turn the situation into Blaine’s worst nightmare:
He stood up and stormed right out of the shop.
And now, he is informing his three million twitter followers all about it.
Blaine chucks his cellphone aside and falls face-first onto his bed, burrowing down into the pillows in shame.
*
sebsmythe: Suggestions for stain remover? Coke is a bitch. 3m ago
iheart_bas: @sebsmythe OMG I LUV YOU SO MUCH PLZ TWEET ME!!!11!1 3m ago
SEBworld: @sebsmythe ur so hot and perf follow me ilu!! 2m ago
huntclarington: @sebsmythe This is why you don’t venture away from Sunset Boulevard. 1m ago
huntbastians: @sebsmythe @huntclarington why aren’t you dating i’m sobbing 1m ago
sebsmythe: @huntclarington Please, Clarington, I can already hear your “I told you so” from the opposite side of Hollywood. A few seconds ago
blainerss: @huntclarington @sebsmythe i swear not all other Californians are as inept as myself. don’t take this as a precedent. A few seconds ago
*
The rumors about Hunter and Sebastian began to swirl as soon as the two announced that they’d be co-starring in an upcoming Michael Bay film, Sebastian as the rugged hero and Hunter as his grumbling sidekick. Hunter is almost as dauntingly handsome as Sebastian, with his dark, mysterious eyes and sharp features, and Blaine can admit that the two of them would make an attractive couple.
But to have them both mock his incompetency?
He might as well just dig himself a grave and climb into it now.
*
racheyrach: @blainerss YOU SPILLED COKE ALL OVER SEBASTIAN SMYTHE??? 11m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss BLAINE I KNOW YOURE THERE ITS 11 HERE IN NEW YORK YOURE ALWAYS ONLINE AT THIS TIME 9m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss the fyeahsebastiansmythe tumblr is already drafting a petition to hunt down the “useless idiot” who stained their precious baby’s pants 8m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss blainey this is serious 7m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss did you at least save the napkin he touched?? 3m ago
*
ACTUAL STRAW USED BY SEBASTIAN SMYTHE
Current Bid: $3594.95
*
sebsmythe: Now, the real question here is…should I press charges? 17m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss @sebsmythe I really hope you saved that napkin 16m ago
huntclarington: @sebsmythe You’re ridiculous. 15m ago
huntbastians: @sebsmythe @huntclarington GET MARRIED 15m ago
iheart_bas: @sebsmythe ILOVE U BEAUTIFUL TWEET ME xxxxxx 14m ago
blainerss: @sebsmythe i told you i can’t even afford your dry cleaning, what makes you think i can afford a lawsuit? 8m ago
blainerss: @racheyrach his straw actually 7m ago
blainerss: @racheyrach but you didn’t hear that from me 7m ago
*
Anonymous asked:
I KNOW YOU STAINED SEBASTIAN SMYTHE’S FAVORITE PAIR OF SLACKS
Answer / Answer Privately / Delete
*
“Hi, you’ve reached Blaine! I can’t come to the phone right now, but leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
“Ay! Que tal, Blaine? You have shift today, eight o’clock! Donde esta? We need help cleaning mess from yesterday. Also there is man with camera outside and it makes me nervous. Venga, por favor!”
*
blainerss: @sebsmythe hey i didn’t get fired after all so feel free to mail me that dry cleaning bill. i’m still not down for the lawsuit though. 1m ago
sebsmythe: @blainerss Already handled the dry cleaning, but I do expect two chicken soft tacos, on the house. And make sure someone else is carrying my drink. A few seconds ago
racheyrach: @blainerss BLINAE IM ASDFOWEIFJ SEBASTIOJLSF???????? A few seconds ago
*
“I’m sorry!” Blaine cries out breathlessly as he bursts into the kitchen, hurrying to pin his nametag onto his shirt. “I thought I’d be fired—”
“Fired?” Carmen calls out, her head poking out from behind the freezer door. “I no call you, that means you work. Now vaya, vaya!”
Blaine just nods and shoves his notepad into his belt, quickly tucking a pen behind his ear and hurrying out into the restaurant. There is a fair-sized lunch crowd today, and Santana shoots him a dirty look as she scurries to cover all of the tables by herself. After she finishes taking the orders for table six, she snaps, “cover the back half, Anderson. I’m taking my break.”
Without protest, Blaine heads off to the back corner of the restaurant and does his best to go about work as usual. He takes orders, delivers drinks (without spilling them, thankfully), and even manages to keep a smile pasted on his face while he does it. No one today seems to be aware of his small accident from the day before, and Blaine is grateful.
That is, until he moves to greet a new customer three booths down, and finds the one and only Sebastian Smythe.
“Um,” Blaine says eloquently.
The man arches a single eyebrow at him and replies, “I thought I asked for tacos.”
“Wha…?” Blaine mumbles.
“Tacos,” Sebastian repeats, raising his (already filled—thank god) water glass to his mouth and taking a sip. “You offered to pay for my laundry, but I already had that dealt with, so I figured free tacos would be a worthy substitute.”
“You read those?” Blaine blurts, then immediately snaps his mouth shut and flushes a dark shade of red.
Sebastian just grins.
“Somehow, I managed to spot them amongst all of the ‘I love you’s’ and ‘you should fuck Hunter Clarington’s’, yes,” he answers, and Blaine’s flush deepens. “How much did my straw go for?”
Blaine ducks his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he mumbles.
Sebastian merely hums and sets his glass back down, his fingertips dropping to tap absently against the tabletop. “I’m not actually going to sue you, you know.”
Lifting his head again, Blaine blinks and tries to keep the relief from showing too starkly on his features. “Really?” he inquires.
“Of course not,” Sebastian shakes his head, his mouth quirking up at the corners. “I may be a lot of things, but a complete douchebag is not one of them.”
“But, you just…” Blaine starts, then pauses, waving his hand in a gesture that he means to convey glared at me and stormed out of this restaurant without even paying.
“Indeed, and I already spoke with management about that to apologize,” Sebastian explains.
Blaine gapes.
“Why—why would you apologize? I ruined your pants!” he cries.
“I have five other pairs that are identical,” Sebastian responds, completely nonchalant. “Why are we still talking about this? Tacos. Por favor.”
Blaine folds his arms over his chest and ignores the request, his mind still whirling. “Can’t I at least apologize to you first?”
“You already did. Multiple times,” Sebastian points out. “Just make sure you watch where you’re walking next time, and we’ll be fine. Problem solved.”
This is the exact moment when it finally starts to sink in that Blaine is standing in the middle of Lola’s,arguing with Sebastian Smythe over a mishap involving a spilled drink, and that the other man isn’t even mad at him.
In fact, he’d come back.
After Blaine stained his pants.
“You came back,” he says, an awkward beat later.
Sebastian’s nose wrinkles as if he is trying not to laugh. “Yeah, because I felt bad about storming out yesterday, and I actually did want to try the food,” he replies simply, leaning back in his seat and tossing Blaine a smirk. “Plus, I figured that the cute waiter who’d spilled Coke all over me was probably freaking out, and I wanted to placate him somewhat.”
Waiter. Cute. Cute waiter.
“Um,” Blaine repeats, ever the intelligent one.
“Tell you what,” Sebastian decides, clambering out of the booth so that is standing in front of Blaine, his lean figure towering over the smaller boy’s own. “I’ll come back once your shift is over, and we can go eat somewhere that you aren’t required to carry the food around. Deal?”
“I’m—it’ll be late. Probably about eight o’clock,” Blaine says breathlessly.
Sebastian’s mouth pulls upwards, and Blaine is suddenly blinded by the sight of two perfectly-straight rows of teeth. “I can do that,” he agrees. “I have to go pick up my dry-cleaning by seven, anyway.”
Blaine can feel the heat crawl up the sides of his neck.
“You can have the money from the straw,” he offers quietly.
“Nah,” Sebastian waves him off, already turning on one heel to make his way out of the restaurant. “Keep it. You might need it for when you spill Coke on someone who isn’t as kind as me.”
*
sebsmythe: Maybe incompetent waiters aren’t so bad, after all. 5m ago
huntclarington: @sebsmythe Careful, it sounded like you actually had a soul for a second there. 4m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss BLAINE 4m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss I S2G IF YOU DON’T GET ONLINE IM GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN 4m ago
blainerss: @sebsmythe you should stop tweeting about me. you’re giving the fangirls a heart attack. 3m ago
blainerss: @racheyrach quit spamming my mentions 2m ago
blainerss: @racheyrach i’ll tell you everything tomorrow. i’ve sort of got plans tonight. 2m ago
racheyrach: @blainerss BLAINE DEVON 1m ago
sebsmythe: @blainerss …yeah, you might want to set your twitter to private after this. 1m ago
sebsmythe: @blainerss: Sorry. 1m ago
huntbastians: @sebsmythe @blainerss NO YOURE SUPPOSED TO LOVE HUNTER A few seconds ago
huntbastians: @sebsmythe @blainerss i quit A few seconds ago