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Mako and Raleigh enter the simulator for a routine test. Doctor Lightcap playing with the systems to see what features might be transferable to non military functions. Mako and Raleigh happy to oblige her and play guinea pigs.
A detached voice states “Initiating Neural handshake in 3...2...1…” The rest is lost to Raleigh and Mako as the silence of the drift envelops them. Once the simulator reemerges around them the disembodied voice states “Handshake engaged. Commence testing”
“Thanks Glados” Raleigh chirps.
“Focus Raleigh.” Doctor Lightcaps’ voice pipes into the room.
They both roll their eyes but focus as asked.
They run some routine puzzles, and mental quizzes before moving on to the jaeger movement simulation. Mako is in the Rig to the left of Raleigh, they do a hand maneuver that opens up to a neutral stance. The right hand opens slowly. Both pilots are watching the movement but suddenly it triggers a memory. One that Mako can’t ignore…
I’m hesitant to give the keys over.
I know he needs to practice, I know I should take him out…
But part of me is afraid he’ll get hurt, or he’ll leave me one day. That I was the one that gave him the knowledge, how to get away.
But then Raleigh is looking at me. Adoration, and pride on his face. I smile despite the turmoil in my mind, because I never could say no to that face.
He smiles brightly at me, when I release the keys into his palm. I swallow down the anxiety that bubbles up in my chest. He’s a smart boy, no reason to deny him this freedom.
I get into the passenger seat. My heart is in my throat, my stomach is rolling, giving him control of the vehicle seems dangerous. I push all those feelings and thoughts down. I focus on the object of this session, teaching him to drive.
I don’t really remember what I say, I do remember watching between what he is doing and looking out the windshield to see if we’re in a safe place.
He stalls it out a lot at first. Getting more and more annoyed, and I rush to tell him gentle platitudes, repeated until they’re meaningless. After he’s stalled it out more times than I can count he gets it moving, and I pity the truck as much as Raleigh. I direct him to keep driving. We do a loop around the parking lot. I ask him to stop again and again, looking for him to understand where the clutch catches, feel the engine. Not just guess at how to get it moving.
He gets so mad at the repeated stops. I look him in the eye and tell him that he wanted to learn.
Raleigh grumbles something but bites his tongue at that. How can you argue against your own truths?
Fourth time around the parking lot he’s finally getting the hang of it. He still stalls it out several times but consistently he can start the engine and get moving.
Its exhilarating and scary all at once, to be sitting in the passenger seat of the vehicle...
But I can't help but be so happy that he's getting it, he's doing it. He's absorbing all the things I say and making it work. Despite the fear of loosing him there is a thrill of giving him this freedom.
“Mako you’re chasing the Rabbit!” She hears but doesn’t connect to what she is doing. She looks to her right and sees Yancy for a moment.
“Yanc…” she stares but the reality breaks through the last of the rabbit haze, and she stops, “Right Raleigh, Sorry. I’ve got it.”
Raleigh looks a little pale, “did you just …?” He doesn’t have to say more, she hears the multiple questions at once in the drift.
“Raleigh I need you to focus too!” The sim techs’ chime in from the control room.
“Right,” he shakes off the feeling, but mentally pokes Mako, We’ll talk about this later .
She outwardly nods, then sends back through the drift Of course, your brother would be mad if we didn’t clear it up .
Raleigh sends her a look and mish mash of emotions through the drift, but shakes it off and they both re align to focus on the test.
A blur of motion out of the corner of his eye has all of Raleigh’s attention. He doesn’t even realize he’s out of alignment because he doesn’t remember he’s drifting…
I look out the window, the landscape speeding by faster than I can take it in. I place my hand to the glass to try and feel the scene, make sure its real.
I put my hand out to see how I am not moving as the scene out there still is. Its an attempt to understand how is it possible.
I’m amazed. I turn back to look at my otosan, holding on to me. He smiles at me, then looks out the window too. He says something and points out the window. I turn back to see what it is that he is showing me.
Once again I’m awed at the speed we are moving. I smile because this is terrific.
Okaasan says something, I look to her and she smiles back. Its one of her real smiles, it reaches her eyes and sparkles a little. I can’t help but reach out towards it. I want to touch her face, feel how real it is. Feel it here with me, unlike the motion outside the train car.
Otosan allows me to reach for her, and she keeps smiling as I place my hand on her cheek. I don’t grip onto her, or bat at her face. Just touching it and feeling the warmth under my palm makes a giggle bubble up out of me.
Okaasan says something and Otosan hands me over to her open arms. I snuggle my head into the crook between her head and shoulder. She pats my head and I feel the vibrations of her voice on my cheek. That too makes me smile. The warm feeling in my chest sweeps through the rest of me. I could spend hours like this, sitting in my okaasan lap, listening to the hum of her speaking with Otosan.
When Raleigh comes out of the Rabbit Mako is staring at him. He has to blink a few times before he realizes it's the grown Mako looking at him, his drift partner, waiting for a response.
“Well?”
“Hm?”
“You were chasing the rabbit. We’ve disengaged the test because you weren’t responding. Where’d you go?”
“I was riding a train, I think.”
“Huh?”
“I was..” he tries to piece it together like a fading dream, “a younger you.” he vaguely gestures to all of her. “I think your family was on a trip, maybe just for the day.”
The smile falls off her face. “Where?”
“I know what you’re thinking, it wasn’t that day. I was, I mean you were, much too young for that. It was… nice.” He smiles at her, feeling the smile of younger Mako from the drift ghost over his face.
She blinks and then her smile returns, not the same as the one of her youth, but a new one. A smile very few people see, her shy but honest smile. Raleigh disengages the rig and throws an arm around Mako’s shoulder. “Let's talk more about it over lunch. I’m starving!”
“Yes,” she nods and glances over at Raleigh once more, “Yes, tell me all about it.” They leave the simulators arm in arm. The world having righted itself somewhat.