Archive of Our Own

After taking in the Fushiguro children, Satoru assumed that there would be no job for him until Megumi turned fifteen. Then he would enter Jujutsu High as a student, and Satoru could fulfill his role as his guardian by being his teacher. Before then, Satoru did spend time teaching Megumi about his technique, and had already prevailed in getting him to successfully summon Rabbit Escape. 

The children stayed in the apartment their parents had owned before their disappearance, Satoru paid for the lights to stay on and for the heater to work. He brought groceries once a week, though over many years that visit was extended, hour by hour, as he found more reasons to spend his time there. Now he was spending nights here and there.

He went to their school events, watched them perform in their school play when they were five and six years old. He went to Tsumiki’s fashion club’s showcase when she entered middle school and listened to her explain all of her designs as she led him down the hallway of mannequins. He signed Megumi’s tests which he nearly aced, and signed his detention slips for when he got into fights. He went to their parent teacher conferences and listened with a bit more attention than he expected to how they were doing in school. He even found himself wondering how they were doing socially, not just academically. That surprised him. It was a complex find of family relationship. Family, if they even were. 

But back then he didn’t know if he cared about them, couldn’t even start to think about if he loved them. 

 Satoru understood that he would never understand these children, nor would they get close to understanding them. 

The Fushiguro children were a weird anomaly on the planet. They were mature souls trapped within childish bodies, they were naive hearts drowning in a sea of robbery. Satoru was by no means a father. He had no care for these children that extended what he believed any good person would feel. Maybe this was a way for him to redeem himself, to redeem his alienation that comes from his inherence. Perhaps this is a way for him to put on the skin of a regular person, to care and empathize like a regular person. 

Maybe he struggled because he had never been a child, he was born old. He was born alone, without a mother. He grew up inside of walls of integral abandonment. Even if he held the desire to attach himself to these children, he wouldn’t know how. Still, he was a devout protector, as long as there was air in his lungs he swore that these children would not know the abuse that waits for them hidden behind the sigils of clan life. 

Although there was a pull in his chest whenever he listened to the two of them bicker over mundane things, or when Megumi scowled at him in the passenger seat of his car with no real malice, or when Tsumiki laughed at his comments at the dinner table. 

When did he start caring about being at the dinner table with them? It wasn’t like he hated it, hot meals tasted better when there were warm bodies in the same room. 

As time went on he discovered that he did care about them. He discovered it in the way that he thought about Tsumiki’s spice intolerance when he cooked. He discovered in the way prepared specific parts of a chicken depending on what meal Megumi was going to be eating that night. Breast meat for Nanban, and thigh meat for Oyakodon. He discovered it in the way that he opened the doors to their rooms once before going to sleep, just to see them in the peacefulness of rest. 

He soon then discovered that he loved them. He discovered it in the way that he learned how to braid Tsumiki’s hair to help her with her interest in cosmetology. He discovered it in the way he looked forward to walking to the small apartment and falling onto the couch. He discovered it in the way that he bought Megumi baseball gloves and took him to a park when he holed himself up in his room; refusing to eat, sleep, or talk. He discovered it in the way that, sometimes, he would look at them: 

They would be sitting in the living room, walking to and from school, or in their rooms completing their homework, and Satoru would see them as the smaller versions he had first met. Then, he would be accompanied by a searing and totalitarian feeling of anger and sadness. Not because of anything to do with him or the tragedy of his life, not because he was tied to these two as some might come to believe, but because how could anyone see the two he saw in front of him and decide they were not giving everything up for? 

He discovered he loved them when he walked the fine line of being distraught at the cards they had been dealt at the start of their lives, and a sick sense of gratitude that all had happened as it did so as to bring them to each other. 

Satoru entered the Fushiguro apartment with a key that he always had in his possession. The children had changed quite a lot in the past few years. They had lost their childish features, their round eyes, soft cheeks, their silly pronunciations of words. Megumi is thirteen now, Tsumiki has just turned fifteen, Satoru looked at them and saw three people in each. He saw their childish eyes and pouty lips, their sharper features and their fast tongues, and versions of them that he had yet to meet, but could envision. A young man and a young woman. 

It is always on the forefront of his brain to acknowledge the overwhelming and suffocating sadness that breeds itself in Megumi’s bloodstream. The boy would try to act like a tough man, but he’d hide from it like a child. He knew it very well. Satoru has never had to hide from it. He was stronger than it, stronger than his own internal being, perhaps that is why he feels as though he wasn’t born young; he didn’t have an internal being to exist as. He as an adult did not grow around a child like an old oak tree does. 

As Megumi grew older, Satoru saw the layers to his existence in such a way that a tree grows; a child growing into a young man. Satoru first came to the realization that Megumi was now a young man when they both looked at Tsumiki the same way when she cried. 

Tsumiki Fushiguro met Satoru’s eyes as a beautiful soul. A feminine expression of all that was good in the world. She was incredibly strong, strong in a way that he knew he didn’t have the capacity for. Her emotional bandwidth, the way she was able to consume others’ emotions and turn them into her own. The way she looked at her brother with a love and affectionate understanding despite not coming to any conclusion to the fight they had just had. 

When Tsumiki grew up he watched her convictions solidify even further. Like tall grass that swayed in the wind and brushed your legs as you walked, she was like the personification of connection, a vessel for unity. 

When he pushed open the door he saw Tsumiki curled into a ball on the couch. She sat with her knees tucked into her chest, scratching away diligently at homework. Tsumiki’s hair had grown much longer in recent years, she cut her own curtain bangs that framed her face, and they cried out elegance. Satoru was sometimes taken aback when he looked at her, she was turning into a beautiful young woman without telling him. 

“Hi, Gojo.” She looked up from her notebook to greet him. Then her eyes turned back to the page. In the split second after she looked away from him and before focus took up her body Satoru thought he saw sadness in her. He must have imagined it. He walked around the couch, placing a hand on her shoulder as he did. He migrated towards the kitchen where he opened the fridge and rummaged around. 

“How was your day?” he asked, “School go okay?” 

“Yup.” She answered briefly. Satoru straightened his posture and looked over his shoulder. It was unlike her to respond in single words. On any other day she would have told him about what she was doing in her classes, she would explain drama between her classmates and Satoru would ease himself into a state of listening; letting her voice wash away the stress of his day. 

“Anything interesting happen?” 

“Not really.” She said, “It’s almost the end of the year though so we’re just catching up on work.” 

“I remember well enough,” Satoru responded, thinking back to his days of cramming for exams. Though to be fair, his situation was different from hers. She was incredibly skilled at school, not only that she was incredibly well liked. He grabbed a pudding cup from the fridge and peeled back the plastic wrapping. 

“Is Megumi home yet?” He asked. Sometimes her brother took a different route home. Just to be alone for a while. 

“Yeah, he’s in his room.” Tsumiki answered briefly once more. Satoru must be imagining things, because he can almost detect a dryness in her voice, like she wasn’t completely present in what she was saying. 

He came around behind where she was sitting on the couch and looked over her shoulder at her work. She quickly moved to cover it with her arms. He leaned his chin on the top of her head, she sighed in a faux exasperation. 

“What’re you working on?” He asked, shoving a spoonful of pudding in his mouth. Tsumiki squirmed and smiled down at her hands, she freed herself. Satoru leaned his forearms on the back of the couch. 

“Just some math.” She replied. 

“Boring.” Satoru’s face scrunched. 

“You think everything is boring.” Tsumiki sighed, returning to her work. Satoru vaguely remembered when she struggled with addition, and needed his help. 

She was a quick learner, she could do her first grade worksheets all on her own in a very short time.

He remembers sitting with her at the dinner table, late into the night because she was stubborn. She pouted at the worksheet and asked it to start being nice to her. Satoru had to hold back his laugh, so that she didn’t feel made fun of. 

Megumi had tried to stay up as well, not wanting to go to bed and leave his sister, though he wouldn’t admit that. So he laid on the couch practicing his reading. He fell asleep by nine. Satoru remembers picking him up and placing him gently in his bed, running a hand over his forehead to push back his messy hair and pulling the blankets up to his chin. 

When he returned to the dining room he paused at the kitchen counter, watching. Tsumiki glared down at her page like she was trying to burn a hole through it. Double digit addition must be hard, Satoru thinks to himself, much harder than he remembers it. He watched her raise her small hands, extend her small fingers, and take a determined breath. She counted on her fingers. Then she wrote out the equation on the paper. 

He watched as her little eyebrows furrowed and she bit her cheek. When she put the pencil down she smiled proudly at her work. He approached the back of her seat. 

“All done?” He asked. She showed him the equation she had done. She still had over half the sheet left. He frowned. “Aren’t you tired?” 

“I need to finish this before I sleep.” She said with a fierce look. Her cheeks were still so chubby that they were pulled down by gravity as she made the expression. “Isn’t that what you always tell Megumi, to not give up until he gets it.” 

“That is, but his situation is a little different.” 

“So what?” Tsumiki shrugged. “I don’t get to give up just because I’m not a wizard like you two.” 

“Sorcerer.” He corrected, sitting back down and watching her start the next equation. 34+28. She wrote it out, but paused before she got to the answer. 

“Do you remember what you need to do?” He asked. He watched her as she racked her memory. He was about to tell her the answer when she excitedly looked at him. 

“Carry the one, because four and eight make more than ten.” 

“Yes, that’s right.” Satoru said, and caught himself sounding excited as well. 

Now he watched her, much older, her expression not as rooted in pure grit and determination. He signed her tests that were never below 90%, and he wondered how much of that was because of him. He didn’t assume a lot of it. She was and always has been a smart girl. Satoru wondered how someone could not want to know how smart their little girl was. 

“Do you want anything for dinner?” He asked. She shook her head. 

“I’m fine with anything.” she said loosely, again in a way that made it seem as though she was not present. 

He realized that he wasn’t imagining her sadness at dinner. It was unusual, the way she poked at her food and let it marinate in the sauce, allowing it to become cold. She placed her hands in her lap and looked down at her half eaten food.

The thing that stressed Satoru out the most about these kids was when they didn’t eat. Though, that was usually more within Megumi’s realm. He could scream at him, curse him for coming into his life, beg him to leave, but as long as Satoru knew he was eating he could calm himself. 

“I’ve got a pretty big math test coming up, could I take this to my room?” She asked. Satoru raised an eyebrow but quickly lowered it. Tsumiki’s favourite part of the day was dinner, when the three of them sat with each other and shared in the same warm meal. She liked it much better than when it was just her and Megumi, sitting with blankets on the couch because they had to keep the heating off for bills, and chewing on sandwiches. 

If she wanted to leave, she had a good reason. “Yeah of course.” Satoru said, a little more hollow than he thought he’d sound. He watched her get up and leave, curiosity and worry flooding his vision. 

“You never let me take my food to my room.” Megumi said as he placed a piece of chicken in his mouth. 

“There’s a very good reason for that, ‘Gumi.” Satoru sighed as he turned his attention back to his son. Megumi waved his chopsticks like he was egging Satoru on to explain. 

“I like your sister better than you.” He said in a crooked smile. Megumi scowled and chewed his chicken a bit more aggressively. Satoru leaned across the table to run a hand through his hair and push his head back. Megumi leaned to the side as far as his chair would allow, groaning as Satoru messed up his hair. 

Megumi washed the dishes while Satoru cleaned the stovetop. Once they were done, Megumi returned to his room where he spent all of the time that was his own, and Satoru stood outside of Tsumiki’s room. The door was closed, and Satoru couldn’t shake a sort of anxiousness. He brought the back of his hand up, it hovered beside the wood of the door. 

He knocked twice. “Hi Tsumiki,” He started, “can I come in?” 

“Yeah,” Tsumiki responded. Satoru opened the door to see her at her desk, the lamp on, textbooks spread across her desk and open on her bed, her plate still more than halfway full. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of her bed, pushing a biology textbook to the side. He grabbed one of her throw pillows and held it against his stomach as he watched her work. 

He frowned slightly, when his eyes landed on her plate of food. “When is your test?” 

“The day after tomorrow, but I won’t have time tomorrow to study.” 

“I see.” Satoru hugged the throw pillow, feeling its soft nature bending against his arms. “Don’t push yourself too hard, is all. The end of the school year is supposed to be fun.” 

That made her pencil pause for a second. Satoru’s brows lowered. Had he said something? Not having a woman figure in their lives, Satoru always found raising Tsumiki a bit more confusing than Megumi, simply because he didn’t want to wound her by his ignorance to her experience as a growing woman. He tried his best, he built her a vanity for her room, bought her jewellery boxes, hair accessories, let her cry to him for no reason he could see. 

Satoru loved children, though he didn’t foresee them becoming such a pivotal part of his earthly experience and identity, he saw a beauty of the future in them. He saw it greatly in Tsumiki. He would do everything in his power to prevent the tragedy of her sadness. 

“Just don’t stay up too late,” Satoru said as he gently returned the pillow to its previous location. “Don’t you get tired?” 

“I’ll finish this section then go to sleep.” She smiled at him over her shoulder, but her eyes didn’t squint in the way they usually did. Her nose didn’t crinkle, making her resemble the look of a rabbit. 

As he passed her desk he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her head. He shut the door gently behind him as he left. He chewed the inside of his bottom lip absentmindedly. She didn’t have cursed energy for him to read, but he had learned to become perceptive. He knew something was bothering her. Maybe she wasn’t going to tell him, that was well within her rights, but he couldn’t shake the desire to do something to fix it. 

“You’re bothering me because a teenager isn’t telling you what’s bothering them?” Shoko gave him a bored expression. They stood on the grounds of Jujutsu High, the crisp morning air dragging its nails across their skin as they stood under the canopy in the garden. 

“I hate to break it to you, Gojo,” Shoko sighed, placing her hands in her pockets. “But that’s just what teenagers do.” 

“I understand that.” Satoru rolled his eyes at her. “I just-” 

“No.” Shoko said. 

“Uh, what?” Satoru replied intelligently, gracefully. 

“This is like eight years ago, when you barged into my apartment to tell me you helped them with their homework and it made you feel weird. You’re a father, Gojo, of course you’re upset about not being able to fix everything for your kids.” She sighed. 

“I just worry.” Satoru said, his voice thin and small. Like saying it that way would make it any less true. 

“Of course you do.” Shoko nodded, she leaned her arm against his. “Becuase you care.” 

He looked down at her through his blindfold as she continued. “It’s kind of funny how you can do anything and everything in the world, but you can’t understand that you feel human emotions.” 

“I’m glad my existential problems are amusing.” 

Shoko chuckled. “You’re finally having an experience of us normal folk.” she declared. “All humans do is want to fix something they can’t. It’s written in our blood somewhere.” 

He stayed still for several moments, letting Shoko’s arm spread warmth through the left half of his body. They both looked at the falling petals on flowers and the swaying leaves on bushes. The wind was singing something that Satoru could understand but not hear, he felt the presence of ants as they walked through dirt, and of swallows as they flew overhead returning to their nests. 

“Can you stop bothering me now?” Shoko asked, turning on her heels to enter the building. Satoru scoffed and turned on his heels as well, his arms extended to the side slightly as he huffed. 

“Why are you mean?” He pouted. Shoko ignored him as she walked inside, he made an offended sound in the back of his throat. He did, however, catch her smiling as she turned the corner to disappear. 

Despite sitting at his desk overlooking folders of curses that had been popping up and being told by Yaga that he had three more missions lined up, he found himself constantly thinking about it. He just wanted to fix it, that was all. He felt this unyielding desire to take everything wrong in her world and make it a part of his. It did feel solid and real enough for him to believe that this quality was written in his blood, only having been awakened by the Fushiguro children in recent times. 

Days pass, and Tsumiki’s behavior stays the same. She speaks as though lost in thought, and begins to even look down sadly at her schoolwork. Like she’s forgetting something, or missing something. Satoru does what he believes is best and gives her space, hoping she knows that she could come to him if she wanted. She doesn’t come to him. 

Megumi notices it as well. He came to him one evening, towel over his head as he dried his hair from his shower. He looked focused and serious. “What’s wrong with Tsumiki?” He asked. “Has she told you anything?” 

Satoru chose his words carefully, not wanting to make Megumi worry or jump to conclusions. “I’m sure she’s fine, she is preparing for highschool hm? It must be stressful.” 

Megumi blinked a few times like he was deciding if he accepted that answer. He did because he turned around and left the room without saying another thing. 

Satoru sat on the couch and looked at her closed door. His curiosity and worry were similar to an itch that he couldn’t resolve. He pushes himself onto his feet and knocks on her door twice. She hums, and he lets himself in. 

“Hi,” He said softly, watching her scratch against paper on her desk. “How did that math test go, honey?” 

She leaned back in her chair and shrugged. “It was fine, nothing out of the ordinary.” 

Satoru hummed and sat on the edge of her bed once more. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah,” Tsumiki said in half a laugh, like him saying that was humorous. He sensed a nervousness in the way her voice vibrated. 

“You seem upset lately, are you alright?” 

“Oh! What?” She let out another breathy laugh. “No, everything’s alright.”

“You’re sure?” 

“I am. Don’t worry about me.” She said with a firm nod. 

“I just want to make sure you know that if something is wrong you could tell me. That’s kind of my whole job.” 

“Yeah I know, there’s just nothing to tell.” She quickly tucked her hair behind her ears and returned to the books in front of her. The interaction didn’t ease him. 

Maybe she just didn’t have a lot of energy recently. Perhaps she was just having an off week. It could be that nothing was wrong and Satoru was overreacting. He and Tsumiki had a few discussions about him trusting her when she first turned thirteen, she had taken care of herself and Megumi before he entered their lives, she could take care of herself now. 

Still, Satoru couldn’t shake how small she still was. Fifteen was not grown. Maybe he just wanted her to feel as though it was okay to not be grown. 

“Okay, sweetheart.” He decided to say instead. He kissed the side of her head as he left. He tried his best to leave it at that. To push the restlessness he felt in his chest into his gut, and convince himself that he was worrying over nothing. 

He got the email for the end of year parent teacher meetings a week later. He had a few curses to exorcise, he would get to the school in the evening. Since it was the end of the school year there would be displays from each of the clubs for parents to walk around and see before meeting with the teachers. The kids would stay on at school and help set up. 

 He stood in a warehouse, with dim and flickering lights over his head. He brushed deep purple coloured blood off of his cheek, allowing it to smear and prick deeper into his skin. He watched the blood of the curse pool and flow across the slippery floors, when his phone vibrated. He took it out of his pocket and answered the call, placing it to his ear. Tsumiki was calling. Another curse screeched as he ran towards him. 

“Hi honey, everything okay?” He said, hoping he didn’t sound hopeful that she was going to tell him what had been bothering her. He held out his fist as the curse ran into it. It made a gagging sound, Satoru released a jolt of cursed energy into its gut, and watched it fly backwards. 

“Yeah,” Tsumiki’s voice came through the phone. “I was just wondering if you’d get here in time to see my designs?” 

Satoru quickly checked the time. He wasn’t running late by any means, but if Tsumiki wanted him there earlier, he’d be there earlier. He returned the phone to his ear. “I’m almost done with work,” 

She interrupted him. “Oh no worries then. You don’t have to rush. See you soon.” 

“No, sweetheart,” Satoru said as he wedged the phone between his ear and shoulder, dragging his arms down the sides of the curse allowing blood to squirt and blast from the cuts. “You’re not rushing me at all.” 

He straightens his posture and holds the phone in his hand again. A final curse jumps at his back, he holds up an arm and sends it flying backwards against a wall. “See you soon!” 

“Okay,” Tsumiki’s voice says, “See you soon.” 

Satoru changes into casual clothes and switches his blindfold for sunglasses. He walks into the school. Saitama Urami East Junior High was filled with displays. Easels showcased art: paintings, sketches, multimedia, and photography. There was a table by the entrance where students told teachers where classrooms could be found. 

He walked past lockers and wondered which ones belonged to his kids. He began looking for Tsumiki and Megumi right away, only briefly nodding and saying hello to those at the front door. He watched as kids showed their parents around. He found his own shortly, they stood in front of the mannequins positioned in front of a glass display case. Tsumiki fidgeted with her fingers as she adjusted one of them.

“I told you a million times it looks fine.” Megumi sighed. She backed away and brought her hands to her cheeks. 

“Okay, what about this?” 

“It looks the exact same.” Megumi huffed. “I have no idea what you changed.” 

“Is this one yours?” he hummed as he appeared behind Tsumiki. She turned around and briefly smiled at him. 

“Hi Gojo! Uh yeah. All of these are.” She pointed down the line. 

“You’ve been busy.” He commented as he walked towards the first one. The line is filled with gorgeous dresses. Lace patterning, large bows tied in the back, satin folds down the skirts. An array of colours, from pink, to blue, to black, to white. 

Tsumiki walked beside him as he observed all the dresses, periodically she would glance up at him as though she was anxious. “They’re all incredible.” He said. He returned to one in the middle and pointed to it. It was a dark blue dress with a large flowing skirt and lace flowers. “I think this one is my favourite.” 

“Really?” Tsumiki said excitedly. Satoru placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed once, affectionately. 

“Lovely work.” He peered down at his watch. “Megumi, let’s go to your meeting hm? Can’t wait to hear about all the incredible things you’re doing at school.” 

Megumi began to lead Satoru to his classroom. He made a bored sound and shoved his hands into his pockets. Tsumiki stayed behind by her designs as more parents arrived. 

Satoru sat at the teacher’s desk, who was looking at him with a concerned smile. “Uhm, Mr. Gojo, we’ve loved having Megumi in class. Although, there’s been little to no improvement when it comes to his fighting problem.” 

“Is that so?” Satoru asked. He didn’t particularly care if Megumi was getting into fights. He was fighting because of his convictions, Satoru can’t blame a man for that. As long as Megumi wasn’t doing unjust harm to those who didn’t deserve it, he couldn’t care less. 

“In fact, some of Megumi’s…some parties involved have started to bind together.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I believe it’s referred to as a sort of social club where they discuss their encounters with Megumi.”

Satoru tightened his jaw so it wouldn’t drop. He was grateful for his sunglasses as it covered how his eyes widened.

 “How unfortunate.” He said. His fist dropped below the table beside Megumi’s hip. Megumi huffed softly as he smashed their knuckles together. 

“He may have gotten away with it this year, but next year it won’t be the same. He’ll be preparing for high school. His grades are stellar, there’s no question, but his behaviour is where he’s needing the most improvement.” The teacher explained sadly. 

“Well see what we can do over break.” Satoru nodded. 

“Speaking of his grades. I would recommend that next year Megumi move into the advanced placement courses. If he does, if he gets into even one fight he’ll be kicked out of the classes.” 

“That’s definitely something we’ll consider. Well, thank you for your time.” 

“No, thank you Mr. Gojo, you have some exceptional kids on your hands.” 

“How kind of you to say.” Satoru smiled as he followed Megumi out of the classroom. They walked back towards Tsumiki. 

“What do you think?” Satoru asked. “Do you want to do advanced classes?” 

“Nah.” Megumi said abruptly. “I don’t want to do more schoolwork than I need to.” 

“And it seems you’ve got a bit of a scary reputation here among the students. As your father I can’t condone it, as your teacher I am very impressed.” Satoru lowered his glasses to look at Megumi over the rims. 

Megumi rubbed the back of his head, which he did when he felt embarrassed. Satoru laughed at him quietly. Which made Megumi shove his elbow into Satoru’s side followed by an annoyed huff and an increase in his pace. 

When they turned the corner to find Tsumiki, Satoru watched her as she stared sadly at her dresses. Her lips folded into a slight frown, her eyes looked as though they were longing. A boy appeared behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She looked over it, and he moved in the opposite direction. 

He laughed as she lightly hit his arm and started pointing to her dresses. She showed off one of her bodice designs. Satoru watched as the boy looked at her, not the dress.  He then nodded towards the glass display case where Satoru found photographs. As they got closer he could hear them. 

“That one I took on my trip to Kyoto.” The boy said. Tsumiki hummed. 

“Hey,” Satoru said as he walked up to them. 

The boy flinched and turned around, he clasped his hands in front of his thighs. “Hello, you must be Mr. Gojo, it’s nice to meet you si- mister- mister sir.” He nodded quickly. 

Satoru raised an eyebrow a millimeter, his eyes thinning down at the boy. Tsumiki quickly brought her hands to his side and pushed gently. “We should go, don’t want to be late!” She said in a tone of nervous cheerfulness. He shared a glance with Megumi. 

“Who’s that?” Satoru asked as Tsumiki pushed him around the corner. 

“No one,” Tsumiki said immediately. Satoru pursed his lips as he looked down at her curiously. She covered her face with her bangs and walked into the classroom. “He doesn’t even go here.” She lied nervously. 

When Satoru sat down, Tsumiki’s teacher started rambling on and on about her excellent grades, how helpful she is in class, how involved she is, and how prepared she was for high school. 

“You must be very proud.” The teacher said, 

“I am.” Satoru said confidently. Tsumiki fidgeted with her hands, squeezing her own wrists as if she was anxious. As if she was waiting for something, to stop something. 

“The end of the school year is very exciting, isn’t it Tsumiki! How are you feeling about going into high school?” 

“I feel fine about it,” Tsumiki smiled. “The only thing I don’t look forward to is not going to the same school as all of my friends.” 

“The ninth graders have had an exceptionally exciting year,” The teacher began. Tsumiki stuttered. 

“Thank you, sir, I think we should head back to Megumi.” She looked embarrassed for interrupting. 

“I feel quite resolved with everything,” Satoru defended her, glancing to his side to see her chewing on her lip. “Thank you for your time.”

“Oh?” The teacher said, confused. “Yes, thank you very much.” 

As the two of them left, Satoru bumped into her gently. “What was that?” 

“What was what?” She asked. 

“You, being weird.” 

“I wasn’t being weird, you were weird.” She rambled as she increased her speed. Satoru frowned as he tried to think about what it was about his kids that made them want to walk faster to get out of conversations. 

When they both reach Megumi, who had placed himself against the wall, Satoru asks. “Megumi, do you have anything on display here?” 

“Nope.” 

“Yes he does.” Tsumiki corrects him. “It’s this way.” 

Megumi sticks his tongue out to the back of Tsumik’s head which prompts Satoru to hit him upside his own lightheartedly. Tsumiki leads the two of them down another hallway where there are some paintings. They pause in front of one where there is a human handprint framed by two paws. 

“Did you use your shikigami for this?” Satoru asked, leaning in closer to appreciate the meticulous nature of the brushstrokes. 

“Maybe.”

“Smart.” Satoru concluded. “Is there anything else I should see, or should we head home?” 

“You and Megumi can go.” Tsumiki offered. “I’ll stay behind to help them clean up.” 

“Are you sure?” Satoru frowned slightly. “We can help.” 

“No it’s fine, I know where everything goes anyway.” She offered again, fidgeting with her hands again. 

“Only if you’re sure.” He conceded. She looked relieved. The three of them walked towards the entrance, having passed by the line up of her dresses. She glanced at them multiple times as they walked past. With a softness in her eyes that made it seem like she had something to tell them. 

Satoru knows how strange teenage years can be. He imagines that Tsumiki feels isolated, being the only girl in their family with no mother to talk to. Satoru assumes he might have been a different person if he had a mother. The closest thing that he had was his personal servant who would tie his shoes but cup his chin as she stood up, when no one was watching. 

Satoru waved goodbye to her as Megumi and he began the walk home. Megumi was silent, until he broke his silence with four words. 

“Something’s bothering Tsumiki.” 

Satoru hummed. Megumi continued. “She still hasn’t told you anything?” 

He shook his head. “Sometiems people just need to feel sad, I guess.” He tried to offer. Megumi shook his head. 

“This feels different. She spaces out sometimes at school, stares at the designs she draws.” 

“Artists never feel secure in their work, do they?” He responded. Megumi huffed. Satoru took a breath. “I’m sure she’s okay.” He wasn’t sure. He thought that her offering to stay behind was extremely weird, but he agreed in the name of giving her space. That was what Shoko said most often, that kids needed space. 

Megumi figures it out, and he tells Satoru while the two of them are on Jujutsu High grounds. They’re in the field, Megumi was involved in target practice while Satoru observed. He released his Divine Dogs Shikigami and began to catch his breath. 

“I know what’s bothering Tsumiki.” He says, out of breath. Satoru raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Do tell.” 

“At school, every year there’s a school dance that’s reserved just for the ninth graders. Boys ask the girls, music, food, that kind of thing.” He explains. He turns to face Satoru. 

“I overheard her friends talking about it. She’s not going because she can’t afford a dress.” 

Satoru looked at his son with a confused look. “Uh what? We can afford a dress.” 

He’s spent more on less important things for them. 

Megumi shook his head. “No, she can’t afford a dress herself. That’s why she’s not going.” 

She’s not going to ask Satoru to get her a dress? Did she feel as though she couldn’t? Satoru hums, feeling a drop of sadness ripple through him. A sad kind of realization. 

He wasn’t daft enough to not know that school dances were an exciting part in a teenage girl’s life. He found himself thinking about how it might feel to be there, standing in an overly fancy boutique smiling fondly as Tsumiki tried on as many dresses as she wanted. Watching her face light up with her authentic excitement when she found one she loved.

He thought of what it might feel like to see her standing outside their apartment complex, dressed up and jittering with excitement. Laughing with her friends. 

Satoru hummed again. Megumi’s face twitched as he waited for him to say something. 

He doesn’t know if that would stir something in him the way it would her actual father. Nonetheless he says. 

“I’ll talk to her.” 

“Okay.” Megumi nods firmly, before turning back around and shaking out his wrists. They’re about to have him tame his owl shikigami in the next few months. Satoru watches focus cement around him once he’s gotten the news off his chest. 

Satoru doesn’t know the best way to bring it up. They’re back in the apartment now. They’ve eaten dinner. Each of them was alone. Satoru kept thinking about whether or not Tsumiki felt like she couldn’t ask him for things. The more he thinks the more he acknowledges that Tsumiki never asks for anything. She doesn’t ask for money when she goes out with friends, she doesn’t ask for new clothes or the latest trending items. She lives without desire. 

Satoru believes that it stems from her having to give up so much in order to take care of Megumi and herself before Satoru showed up. That narrative had probably been cemented into her head. If she didn’t want anything, then she wouldn’t have to feel the loss of everything she had once had. 

The more Satoru thinks, the more he comes to understand that her loving their arrangement is rooted in a gracious acceptance rather than want. As if she is aware and believes that she could lose it on any day. 

All of those insecurities of her youth were being projected into this dress. Satoru took a determined breath before knocking on her door. He entered it and hummed. 

“Hi honey.” Every time he entered her room for a moment like this he couldn’t decide if she looked older and younger than the time before. 

“Hi.” she was laying in bed, on her side and on her phone. He sat down at the foot of her bed and kneaded the blanket beside him with his hand. 

“Can we talk?” 

Tsumiki drops her phone onto the mattress. “Am I in trouble?” 

“Not at all.” Satoru shook his head. “I wanted to check if anything was bothering you?” 

“Nothing at all.” she shrugged. He frowned. 

“You can tell me when things are wrong.” 

“I know, but nothing is wrong.” she said firmly, but she brought the blanket closer to her chin and tugged it tighter around her. Satoru was getting deja vu. 

“If something was, would you tell me?” 

“But nothing is wrong.” She sighed. 

“‘Miki.” He said. She looked at him through her peripheral vision. “I guess I’ll just come out and say it. I know about the school dance, and I know why you’re not going.” 

She sighed again, slowly. “How’d you find out?” 

“I got an email about it.” He lied. “From the school.” 

“No you didn’t, because the school dance information comes in a flyer that we give our parents.” 

“So you kept it from me?” 

Tsumiki hid further in her blanket. She was the kind of person to feel guilty about the smallest things. She had probably been suffering in her guilt this whole time. “Megumi told you, didn’t he?” 

“He heard your friends talking about it. ‘Miki, I can afford to get you a dress.” 

She sat up, she clasped her hands and took turns squeezing them. She looked anywhere but at him. “It’s stupid, just don’t worry about it.” 

“It’s not stupid.” He said quickly, scooting closer to her. “Why do you think it’s stupid?” 

She huffed and pouted. Satoru watched her as if she was turning eight years old again. “It’s just a school dance. I shouldn’t be upset about not going.” 

“But that’s the thing, sweet girl.” Satoru laughed nervously as he watched her slump in her sadness. “You can go.” 

“I didn’t want to ask you to buy me a dress. I was thinking I could make my own, but I can’t even buy the materials for it.” She explained. 

Ah. So that was why she looked at her dresses that night so sorrowfully. “Why didn’t you want to ask me for a dress?” 

“Because I don’t need it, you know? I’ll live without going to the dance. Besides, Megumi would be home alone and that makes me nervous, and I didn’t want you to think that I was becoming spoiled for asking you for things that aren’t importa-” 

“Slow down.” He said softly. He brought his hand and covered hers. “You’re rambling, honey.” 

“Sorry.” she huffed, she blinked quickly. “I just didn’t want to make any problems for you. I thought if I could get a dress myself then it would be okay if I went.” 

“You thought I’d get irritated if you asked me to buy you a prom dress?” 

She nodded. He felt his heart breaking inside of his chest. Did she feel that way because of something he did? Did he make her feel unwelcome in wanting things? He bought her things despite her not asking for them, he thought that would have communicated to her that he didn’t mind spending money on her. 

“They’re really expensive.” She said quietly. 

“Do you know how expensive all the other stuff I pay for is?” 

“That’s it.” Tsumiki said. “You already spend so much money and time on us. I didn’t want to..ruin that.” 

“I’m here, ‘Miki.” He said, understanding what she was scared about ruining. “I’m not going to leave.” 

She pouted down at her bed, blinking quickly. Satoru squeezed her hand. “I wouldn’t leave over getting you a pretty dress.” 

“It’s fine. Megumi would be home alone anyway, and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. I’d be too worried.” 

“He wouldn’t be alone, I could spend the night.” He said. She looked at him as if she didn’t realize that was an option. Satoru thinned his eyes at her. “Tsumiki,” he started. 

“I know you kind of shut yourself down to take care of him, but it’s not just you taking care of him anymore. And you have someone taking care of you, now.” 

“I feel stupid wanting to buy cute and frilly fancy dresses, and wear big earrings and hold flowers. I’m supposed to take care of him.” She said confidently. 

Had being alone for so many years with Megumi relying on her killed her girlish spirit? He frowned. “Honey, you're fifteen. Of course you are interested in that kind of thing. Did I ever make you feel like you can’t like those things?”

She shook her head. “No, I just,” She huffed, “I never really got to dress up or play with dolls or anything like that when I was younger, I had to think about Megumi..and we couldn’t afford it.”

He stayed silent as she closed her eyes. He imagined she was mourning the standard childhood for a girl. He imagined she was trying to stop herself from caring about having wanted those things, even if it was for a moment before she turned herself into a caretaker.

“I just worry about him.” She said quietly. He felt a tug in his chest. 

“That’s how I feel about you.” He said softly, squeezing her hand again. Silently asking her to walk him through her feelings. Her voice cracked and wavered when she spoke next. 

“It’s stupid but it feels like I’d be abandoning my job to take care of him if I dressed up and went out to a stupid dance. Plus I didn’t think you’d care about the dance either. You know, it’s not like..like..” She trailed off. Satoru felt a sharp tug and pain in his chest and gut. He felt his eyebrows lifting and his temples pulling back in tension. He felt himself momentarily regress into a brain, his body feeling hollow. 

Did she not think of their relationship in that way? He was finding himself hurt by that. “I care.” He said firmly. “I care very much, and it’s not abandoning him to think about yourself and what you want.” 

Tsumiki finally looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears. 

“Do you want to go to the dance?” he asked, looking gently into her eyes. 

“It’s a stupid thing-” 

“I didn’t ask if it was stupid, I asked if you wanted to go.” 

She paused for a few moments. She swallowed thickly like she was swallowing the urge to cry. She’d always been so emotionally adept, that is to say in her capacity to feel wholeheartedly. 

“Yeah, I want to go.” she whispered, like that made it less real, like that made it easier to say out loud. 

“And you want a pretty dress?” He pushed. 

“Yeah.” she laughed, bringing a hand up to wipe under her eye. Satoru smiled at the sound that came from deep in her chest. 

“So you’ll go, and you’ll get a pretty dress.” He said. “And you won’t feel a shred of guilt about it.” 

She sniffled. “Okay.” 

“When’s the dance?” 

“Next week.” 

“So we're going this weekend, hm?” 

“Okay.” She sniffled again, lighter, she laughed out the word, Satoru felt something settle in him. 

He brought an arm around her and hugged her loosely. “Don’t feel like you can’t ask me for things you want. It’s my job.” 

“Okay.” She said into his shoulder. 

“I care about these kinds of things, I want you to be happy.” 

She nodded as they separated. He squeezed her hand once more before wishing her goodnight and leaving her room quietly, gently closing the door. He stood outside of it and rested his forehead against it for a few moments. Trying to decipher what he was feeling. 

He felt upset that she didn’t come to him, felt upset that something made her feel like she couldn’t. He felt proud of her for thinking with so much generosity and independence, her convictions becoming a pivotal part of her external identity, but he wanted her to let him spoil her.

He didn’t have anyone to spend his money on. For most of his life he wished he had. He wished he could have had friends to play with, schoolmates to laugh with. He thinks back to his first year as a student at Jujutsu High. They never did anything like school dances. There were only three of them in the class. 

Those were still the happiest moments of his life. The only year that he got to experience the joy of youth. He would do anything to make sure she enjoyed her youth. He’d buy all the prom dresses in the world, all the bouquets of flowers, if it made her know that he cared about the fact that she was young and needed things. 

How could anyone have seen someone so young and decided not to give them everything? The world would be incredibly harsh to her when she grew up, for now if he could give her a moment of shelter where she could indulge in her wants, he would. 

The weekend came quickly, and the two of them went out. At first Tsumiki stood awkwardly in the store, about to pick the first one she saw. Satoru put it back on the hanging rack and pushed her further into the store. 

“You at least need to try them on.” He laughed. 

She walked down an aisle for a few seconds before picking out a yellow dress. She went to try it on. When she came out, Satoru was sitting on one of the chairs. She stood in front of him and the mirror, her arms crossed self consciously across her body. The yellow colour looked good on her, especially with her darker hair. 

“Do you like it?” He asked. She examined herself in the mirror. The dress had a layer of lace that flowed from the bodice down the skirt. The straps on her shoulders were made out of flowers. It had a sweetheart neckline, and the skirt danced with every small movement she made. 

“I like it.” 

“But you don’t love it.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“But not great.” He lowered his sunglasses. “Cmon, Tsumiki, don’t settle for something you don’t really want.”

She ran her hand down the sides of the bodice. “I don’t love the lace pattern.” 

“hm, and?” 

“And I don’t love the neckline.” She ran a hand across her collarbones. 

“Perfect, let’s keep looking.” Satoru said cheerfully. 

She tried on many dresses, Satoru sat by the mirror and watched her walk out in all of them. She inspected the shape of the skirt, the cut of the neckline, the material, the patterns, and the colour. She knew so much about fashion, and that was probably the reason she was finding it hard to choose the perfect dress. Satoru never rushed her, after all, this was the dress she’d wear to her first and last ninth grade school dance. 

She walked out in a dark blue satin dress. The shoulder straps were thick, it had a square neckline and a keyhole cut in the back. The skirt was big and looked like a waterfall. It was simple, elegant; exactly like her. 

Satoru watched her fight back a smile as she looked at herself in the mirror. 

“Aren’t you supposed to spin?” He asked. 

“I don’t need to-“ 

“‘Miki, spin.” 

“Gojo.” She sighed. 

“Tsumiki.” He sighed back in a subtle laugh. 

She rolled her eyes, smiling as she spun once. The skirt lifted and swam around her. When she came to a stop the material wrapped further before uncoiling like the ocean pulling back its waves. 

“I really want this one.” She said quietly. “Is that okay?” 

“It’s more than okay.” Satoru nodded. “Let’s get it, after we’ll go get lunch.” 

“I’m not super hungry right now.” She smiled. 

“Fair enough,” he said as she went back into the changing area. He bought the dress, covering the total amount on the screen with his hand when Tsumiki tried to glance at it, and hung the garment bag in the backseat.

“I’m glad you found a dress you like.” He said, glancing at her as she looked out the passenger window.

 He remembered when she was younger, he had taken the kids to a nearby park and she was running around, her dress then had been a simple blue one as well. It was a play dress, childish and sweet, just like her. He felt a rise, a wave, of something inside his heart. 

Satoru smiled as she excitedly climbed out of the car to grab the dress. How she ran into the apartment to hang the dress in her closet. She looked much more like herself, excited, cheerful, and eager. 

He knows now, he would have been devastated to miss out on this. Her face lit up when she spun in that blue dress. She tried not to smile because she was enjoying herself. He’d buy her ten more dresses to see that look again. 

The next day, there was a boy outside of their apartment complex. Satoru looked at him through the door. He asked for Tsumiki. 

When Tsumiki came to the door she quickly flattened her shirt and tucked her hair behind her ears. Satoru’s eyebrows shot up. 

When Tsumiki opened the door, the boy from the parent-teacher night was there. He was holding a paper sign and flowers. ‘Will you go to the dance with me?’ The sign read. 

Tsumiki giggled and turned a sweet shade of light pink. Satoru raised an eyebrow at the boy as he looked between the two of them. 

“What’s happening?” He heard Megumi’s voice from behind them. He quickly sprung into action, nudging Tsumiki outside and shutting the door. 

“Oh nothing, sweet Megumi.” 

“Ew.” Megumi’s face scrunched as he turned into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. “Don’t call me that.” 

“You got it, unsweet Megumi.” 

He was cast a nasty look before Megumi returned to his room. When Tsumiki walked back in with the flowers she excitedly sauntered over to the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it with water. 

“And who was that young lady?” Satoru raised an eyebrow at her, sitting at the kitchen counter. 

“Just my friend.”

“Friend.” Satoru repeated. 

“Yes friend.” Tsumiki giggled. 

“And friends ask each other to school dances and give each other flowers?” 

“Yup!” Tsumiki giggled, her ears turning pink again. 

Satoru made a skeptic humming sound which made Tsumiki laugh again. He should have been expecting that boys were going to become a part of her life now, but he had overlooked that. He thought of her in that beautiful dress, dancing with her friends, sharing glances with that boy. Feeling that glorious feeling of fluttering when eyes meet. Satoru remembers that feeling as well. He’s incredibly glad that she will learn it too, though he may not be ready for it. 

When did she grow up, and why hasn’t she told him that he would? 

The night of the school dance came quickly. Megumi and Satoru sat in the living room. The door to Tsumiki’s bedroom creaked open, she walked out with her hands wrapped around herself. She chuckled nervously. 

The dress dragged elegantly against the floors. Her eyes were highlighted and accentuated with sharp eyeliner. Her face looked like it was shining and covered in morning dew. Satoru exhaled. 

“You look so pretty.” He complimented. 

“Really?” She laughed and scratched the back of her head. Her hair bounced softly. 

Megumi nodded twice. She smiled at the two boys and started to look as though she believed it. Satoru pushed himself onto his feet and held out a hand to her. She took it. He led her to the front door. 

“I need a picture,” he explained. Tsumiki laughed. 

“That’s silly.” 

“You’re silly.” He offered as he pulled out his phone. Megumi twisted on the couch to look over the back of it, at the two of them. 

Tsumiki smiled and held up two peace signs as he clicked a photo. He looked down at it and could’ve sworn the girl in that photo was younger than ten. She brushed back her hair and it fell elegantly to frame her face. 

Satoru frowned. Her eyebrows furrowed. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“You just look so grown.” He explained. Holding out an arm. She laughed as she walked towards him to hug him. 

Tsumiki was everything that was right in this world. Satoru was confident in that. She was understanding, grace, mercy, justice, compassion, and love. It all poured out of every pore in her body and came from a light that originated from the depths of her. 

Megumi folded his arms over the back of the couch and rested his head on it. He didn’t say anything, but he looked happy. 

“It’s okay,” Satoru sighed as he kissed the top of her head. “You’ll be home by ten anyways.” 

“You’re funny for once.” She laughed cheekily and knelt down to put on the silver heels she had gotten to match her dress. Satoru took a photo of her as she did so, the skirt expanding to create a soft circle around her. She smiled down at the floor, tucking some loose hair behind her ears, revealing small but shining earrings. 

He thought back to when she was much younger. She held his hand when they crossed the street and would jump, making him carry all of her weight in one arm as she swayed forward. She would reach for things on grocery shelves too high for her to reach, and Satoru would flick them down so she could catch them and put them into the cart. She built a fort out of blankets and the couch cushions for herself and Megumi, then gave him a tour of it. She used to take his sunglasses and wear them, they would slide down her small nose. 

“Maybe you should just stay home.” He frowned, then the doorbell rang. Tsumiki grinned at him before going to open the door. 

“It’ll be okay!” She cheered. When the door opened there was the boy holding flowers. He had a black suit with a blue tie that matched the colour of her dress. He handed her the flowers and shifted back and forth as he looked at Satoru. 

“Hello mister Gojo sir.” He said awkwardly. Satoru nodded. 

“You guys have fun.” He said, he watched in the corner of his eye how Megumi rolled his eyes. Satoru forced himself to close the door when they turned the corner and headed towards the building exit. He trusted her, she’d make good choices, everything about Tsumiki was good. 

“Do you not like that kid?” Satoru asked when he turned back to face Megumi. 

“I don’t like anyone at our school.” 

“Ah, yes. Hence your victims creating a support group. Very funny, by the way.” 

Megumi pushed himself off the couch and walked towards his room. “It’s not my fault if they suck and are babies.” 

“Right you are.” Satoru nodded with a weird amount of pride in his voice. Then he was alone in the living room. He sat down, pulled out his phone, and realized that he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. Time moved at the speed of a crawl. 

Hours passed, it was now eleven at night and Tsumiki still hadn’t returned home. He pulled out his phone and opened his messages with her, wondering if he should message her. He fought back and forth with himself in his brain. Thoughts of ‘you’ll just be bothering her’, and ‘she’s been out too late’ wrestled within him. 

He decided he was hungry, so he rolled off the couch and walked to the kitchen. When he was there he found that the garbage was full. Opening the apartment door, walking down the hallway towards the exit where the bins were placed to the side: he saw it. 

The worst thing that he has ever seen in his life. 

Tsumiki sat on a parking block, her hands over her face, and her shoulders shaking. She sniffled and cried into the darkness of her hands, surrounded by the night. Satoru placed the garbage bag to the side of the building and approached her gently. He whispered. 

“Hi, honey.” 

Tsumiki flinched. She looked up to see him, she shuddered out a cry and reached out her arms. He felt his chest tighten as he knelt down, bringing her into his side. 

“What’s wrong?” He said, slightly panicked. “Shh, shh.” He whispered into her hair as she covered her face, still crying. He backed up and threaded his fingers through her hair at the base of her head. His eyes were wide as he looked her up and down, checking to see if she was hurt. 

“Tell me what happened, sweetheart.” he whispered. She sniffled and brought her hands down. 

“It’s stupid.” 

“It’s not.” He shook his head, brushing her hair out of her face. “Tell me what’s got you so upset, hm?” 

“He kissed this girl in my class.” Tsumiki whispered. “I know it’s dumb I just,” She took a heavy breath. “I thought he liked me.” 

“Oh,” He sighed, “sweet girl,” He frowned as she started crying again. He brushed the hair out of her hands and tucked it behind her ears. “He doesn’t deserve all this crying.” 

“I’m just sad.” She pouted. Satoru sat beside her and pulled her into his side, letting her cry into his shoulder. He brought his opposite hand to cup the back of her head, letting his head rest on top of hers. 

“How long have you been out here?” 

“I got here fifteen minutes ago.” She choked out. He nodded and kissed the top of her head. He felt frozen inside his body, not knowing what to do. He gently pushed her off his shoulder so he could look at her face. She tried to hide it, but he gently pushed her hands away. 

“He must be pretty stupid if he can’t see what he’s missing out on.” Satoru attempted to comfort her. Her eyes softened as she looked at him. Satoru took both of her hands into his and squeezed them firmly. 

“I really thought he liked me.”

“Sweetheart, there are going to be many boys who like you.” Satoru said. “This one was an idiot” 

“I just feel stupid.” She laughed, letting her head fall forward. 

“You’re not stupid!” He exclaimed, genuinely shocked. “You’re the smartest girl I’ve ever met, and the kindest, and the most capable, and the most beautiful.” 

“Yeah but you have to say that.” She sniffled. 

Satoru pushed down the anger he was experiencing to remain calm in front of her, to remain present. He hated seeing her like this, this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. Tsumiki's suffering was the worst thing he could think of. 

“I’m telling the truth.” He nodded rapidly. 

She laughed again, then sniffled, then cried, then sniffled again. “You have to say that because you’re like my dad it doesn’t count!” 

“It does too count.” He huffed as he brought her hands up to his lips, kissing them once. “But yes, I guess I am a little biased.” 

“What’s going on?” They heard a voice from behind them. Megumi. “I woke up and nobody was home.” 

He rubbed his eyes as he approached them. He took one short look down at Tsumiki’s red eyes and tear streaked face and immediately began scowling. “What happened?” He demanded. 

Tsumiki pulled her hands out of Satoru’s, “It’s nothing-” 

“No it’s not.” He cut her off. “Tsumiki, tell me what happened.” 

Tsumiki began to cry, thinking about it again. She wiped her face then brought her fingers to her nose, wiping some of the snot that came from her aggressive crying from before. Megumi looked like he was about to start shaking. 

“Date gone wrong.” Satoru said for her, she nodded. 

“Did the bastard try anything?” 

“No no no” Tsumiki said quickly, holding out a hand to Megumi. Her brother wrapped a finger around one of hers. “I’m okay, ‘Gumi!” She smiled. Satoru was frightened by how genuine the smile looked. He could imagine the horrible sensation of tears drying in the cool evening she felt on her face. 

“Why don’t you go inside, we’ll come inside in a little bit.” Satoru said. Megumi kept his eyes on Tsumiki. She nodded. So he let his finger slip away from hers and turned around. Still fuming and huffing with anger. 

Satoru felt the exact same way. He swallowed it, for her sake. She crumbled as soon as Megumi went inside, letting herself rest her head against her knees and wrapping her arms around herself. Satoru made a wounded sound as he wrapped an arm around her. She let herself jostle to the side and lean against his leg. He rubbed firm circles on her back as she hiccuped. 

“Breath, honey, breath.” He instructed. “You have to take deep breaths.” 

She tried, taking deep but shaking breaths. He nodded and took deep breaths alongside her. Slowly but surely her breathing started to even. 

“My head hurts.” She whined. He kissed the back of her head. 

“We’ll get you some water.” 

“Can we stay out here for a bit longer?” She asked in a shaking voice. 

“Of course,” He said, a little absent. He didn’t understand what to do, what he had been doing seems to have worked. He felt himself beginning to fear that he was going to do something wrong. He asked, “What, uh, what do you need?” 

“Just stay with me.” She whimpered. So Satoru did. Although every small and hushed cry ripped a new hole into his heart, he sat in silence and let Tsumiki cry her eyes out. He continued to rub comforting circles on her back. He didn’t understand how this was going to help her. He was thinking about how he’d need to calm Megumi down so he doesn’t send the boy to the hospital the next day at school. 

He hoped this was helping her. He felt it again, that unscratchable itch to fix things. He knew he couldn’t. He knew in his heart that there was no action he could take to rid her of this pain. She’d have to feel it out, painstakingly, slowly, and in the most human of ways. 

At least she wasn’t alone. 

After a few more minutes she huffed and sat upright. She chewed on her bottom lip. “Okay, I think I’m done now.” 

“Let’s go inside?” he offered. She nodded but didn’t get up. He waited for her to lead him. He tosses the garbage bag out on their way inside. They walk to their apartment with his arm around her, rubbing her arm comfortingly. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say, but the way that she was letting him guide her inside and allowed herself to sit on the arm of the couch was an indication that she was comfortable with his attempt at comfort. 

He filled a glass of water and handed it to her. She took a small sip. “Why don’t you clean off and get changed?” He said quietly as he pushed her hair back. She nodded and kicked off her heels. 

He placed them against the wall as she walked towards her room. He took a grounding breath before entering Megumi’s room. He was sitting on his bed with his hands in his lap, like he was waiting for Satoru to come in. 

He heard the shower start as he closed the door behind him. He leaned against it and looked at Megumi with a serious expression. “If you beat him up she’ll get really mad at you.” 

“What did he do?” He asked, still seething with a dangerous subtlety. 

“He chose another girl, let’s leave it at that.” Satoru explained briefly. Megumi hummed. Then he asked, 

“Is she okay?” He paused before correcting himself, “is she going to be okay?”

“What do you think?” 

“I think I want to punch him in the face.” 

Satoru smiled. “Unfortunately even I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“When have I ever thought about what you think?” 

“That is a very fair point,” Satoru sighed, “I guess I’d have no option but to turn a blind eye. I mean, I can’t control what happens when you’re at school. Just think with your head and not your fists, yeah?” 

He grinned at Megumi before swallowing and becoming more serious. “But actually, Megumi. She needs you to not freak out. You can do that for her, can’t you?” 

“Of course I can.” He scowled, throwing his legs onto his bed and falling onto his back. Satoru nodded fondly. 

“Good, that’ll be a big help for her.” He said. He heard the shower turn off, so he nodded a goodnight to Megumi who hummed back 

“‘Night.” 

Then he walked into the living room. Tsumiki came out of the bathroom with a towel around the ends of her hair. She still looked horribly sad, and her eyes were puffy. She must have cried a bit more while in the shower. 

“Aside from all that,” he asked, “How was your night?” 

“Being with my friends was fun.” She sniffed as she walked into the living room, sitting on the arm of the couch again. 

Satoru sighed, she did too. She looked down at the ground, he looked at her. He racked his brain for everything that he knew made her happy, something small he could do to lighten her mood, even if it was barely. 

“Do you want to make some cookies?” He asked. She laughed. He did as well, what he said did sound ridiculous once he heard it come out of his mouth. 

She tucked her hair behind her ears and placed the towel on the couch. She laughed quietly again. “Uh yeah. Yeah why not?” 

They both made their way to the kitchen where he gathered bowls while he pulled the dry ingredients out from the pantry. They mainly stayed in silence. Tsumiki’s mood did seem to lighten though as they rolled the dough into small circles and squished them onto a pan. 

Satoru placed chocolate chips on his cookies in the shape of a smiley face. Tsumiki made some for Megumi alongside herself. She sat on the kitchen floor in front of the oven as she watched them bake. Satoru sat down beside her. 

He didn’t really know why he had presented the idea of baking cookies, but she looked calmer now. 

“Thanks.” She whispered. “For comforting me.” She paused for a few seconds before adding. “And for everything.” 

Satoru raised an eyebrow at her. “I hope you know that this is no big deal. I’d do anything for you two.” 

“Yeah,” She brought her knees into her chest and squished her cheek against one of them, her voice becoming slightly muffled. “But still. It’s nice having you around, and to, you know, have a dad and all.” 

Satoru leaned against the drawers behind him and watched the cookies bake. “I’m glad you see me that way.” he said honestly. They both remained in silence, then he said. 

“I like having a daughter.” 

Tsumiki smiled at the oven. Satoru felt the wave of anger and protectiveness subsiding within him. In the yellow glow of the kitchen and oven, he saw a glimpse of her beautiful happiness coming through the sadness that encompassed her. 

This was a new kind of beauty that he saw in her. The kind that comes from smiling despite the aching feeling in your heart. The kind that comes from her ability to see the good while accepting the bad in her life. Her eyelashes still glistened with leftover tears, but her smile was true. He wondered for a moment if watching someone smile in that specific way, feel joy in defiance of their active pain, was the real reason that he was here. The reason that these children came into his life. 

He didn’t know if there was any truth to that, he wasn’t human; he didn’t feel human. Yet in the moment he allowed himself to wholeheartedly believe in that reason, in him being human, with and because of this home almost as if they had brought him back from the brink of tragedy, and a smile tugged at his own lips. 

Satoru didn’t want to close the door to the closet just yet. His hands slid down the dark blue satin fabric. He brought his other hand up to his face, pressing his thumb and index finger into the bandages that wrapped his eyes. His jaw tightened. He ran his knuckles against the soft fabric as he finished recalling the memory. He closed the door to the closet. 

He took a few steps backwards, then he turned to the left, he took a few steps forward, then he sat down on the stool beside the bed. He looked at the bedside table. There was a framed picture, she grinned and held up two peace signs. The sides of her eyes pulled upward in her smile and her nose crinkled, making her resemble a rabbit. He looked at the picture, not at the body in the bed. 

That wasn’t her. Tsumiki Fushiguro was not a half-cold body connected to tubes and wires. She was out somewhere, dancing with her friends, crying over a boy, worrying about her brother, and baking cookies. She wasn’t above, below, or on the same earthly plane as this body. Satoru would not believe it. 

The beeping of the monitor and the hum of the lighting made the entire room feel like a machine. All the things inside of it as well. He brought his hand to the picture frame and brushed the glass covering her face softly. 

She was somewhere laughing, loving, studying for a math test. 

He brought the picture frame into his lap and looked down at it. He couldn’t look at the body in front of him. 

She was somewhere stressing out about biology homework, designing a new dress, sewing. 

He felt the bandages over his eyes soak. 

Out somewhere, somewhere far and distant, they had gotten lunch after buying her dress. They were sitting in a mall food court and he was stealing some of the chicken from her meal while she stole sips from his soda. 

Whoever was in front of him, it wasn’t her. The apartment wasn’t the apartment either. It was perpetually and constantly empty, even with two bodies inside of it. Her room was left untouched, the door closed, as if that would vacuum seal her to the space. 

She was somewhere on break with her friends at school, she was walking through crowded hallways with that determined and pouty look. 

Satoru felt his chest tighten. He lowered his head and a wounded croak came from his throat. He swallowed it as it reached his mouth. 

Tsumiki Fushiguro was not the kind of woman to be hooked up to the machines in front of him. She was the kind of woman to love, cheer, laugh, work hard, design, run, and think of anyone but herself. She was not here, she was somewhere else, somewhere distant, far, and safe. She was somewhere healthy. Somewhere happy. 

That was all Satoru could use to comfort himself. Tsumiki Fushiguro pumped blood into his mechanical and warrior heart. Oil leaked from every inch of his inner being. 

Maybe it was better this way. That kind of love and sheer amount of ‘good’ that existed in one person didn’t deserve to be bound to one place. She deserved to roam free. She’s in the way that Satoru picks up litter he finds, just because. She’s in the way that he cooks with less spices. She’s in the way that her brother chooses who to save. 

Tsumiki Fushiguro was not the person in front of him. She was everywhere and everything. 

Maybe that was supposed to make him feel less alone. He didn’t just lose her the day she fell under. He lost Megumi as well. He watched the moment in Megumi’s eyes when the blood in his heart was replaced with oil. Satoru watched, helpless to do anything about it; he had no blood of his own to give him. 

She had found a way to wedge the Fushiguro children under his skin, and now he felt as though he was too small for the body he inhabited. 

He couldn’t speak. He didn’t want to hear what his voice would sound like. So instead, Satoru brought his hand up and reached forward. His hand was shaking, terrified for what it was about to feel. It met a hand, folded over a stomach; gracefully, elegantly. 

It was half-cold, half-warm, and Satoru didn’t know which truth was worse. He takes it back. This is the worst thing that he has ever seen. He’d do anything to have her crying outside their building, because then she’d be here with him. 

What a selfish demand. 

He let his skin warm hers before letting go, feeling the ice grip of loneliness piercing his palm and directly entering his bloodstream. He returned the picture frame to its rightful spot. He gave her one last, long, look. 

He forced himself to stand on weak legs. Legs that did not know how to support his weight. He walked towards the door and pretended that he was going home. He would push open the door and see her curled up on the couch with her math homework balanced on her knees. 

He knew he wouldn’t. 

He opened the door and gently closed it. Shoko stood outside, she didn’t mention the discoloration on the bandages wrapped around his eyes. She didn’t say anything. 

They stared at each other for a long while. Her eyes shook as she looked him up and down, as if he were a wounded animal. He felt a familiar numbness washing through him. The oil of his mechanical heart returned to its job. 

He looked at her, and with the last bit of emotion in his eyes before he felt himself completely at the mercy of the cold that encompassed him, asked silently, sorrowfully, and angrily: how many more people am I going to lose before I die. 

She closed her eyes and lowered her head: I don’t know. 

He felt it. The moment the last of his emotion hiding and cowering in his eyes froze. He didn’t look at her as he walked away. Returned to the main campus of Jujutsu High. He walked past Megumi’s dorm. The door was closed. Satoru didn’t stop. 

Megumi wouldn’t have wanted him to anyway. 

He returned to his office and sat down at his desk. The week starts tomorrow. He wasn’t allowed to be the man that Tsumiki called her dad. He’d have to wait, to become that man and kill that man himself hours after, until next sunday. His next visit.