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Adorable.
There was no term more fitting than that to describe the view that Chuuya was first met with when he awoke.
His senses were fuzzy in the morning, so he came to rather slowly. The first things he registered were what he felt—the plush, cool silk of the sheets, the warmth of the blankets that enveloped him, and a mix of skin and gauze.
The fog in his head subsided, and he opened his eyes to find the most gorgeous sight in all of Yokohama. His lover, face tucked into Chuuya’s chest, arms wrapped around him in a drowsy embrace.
And oh, Chuuya was rarely a weak man. But waking up with Dazai in his arms was like holding a torch to the candle that was his heart. Time and time again, he melted.
He buried his face into Dazai’s dark, mussed hair, bathing not in the scent but rather in the knowledge that he and he alone held the privilege of calling Dazai his.
The slightest of movements pulled Dazai from his rest—his mafia years had taught him to sleep lightly at all times and old habits die hard. He shifted lethargically and grumbled some string of unintelligible sounds against Chuuya’s skin.
The redhead wore an expression that he’d found crossing his features more often than it previously had—one so immeasurably whipped that he appeared the very picture of besottedness.
Gentle light peeked through the blinds on the far wall of the bedroom, just barely reaching the nightstand. Chuuya wanted to draw back the shades and bask in the morning sun, but he’d be damned if he pulled himself out of Dazai’s arms so soon.
After another small sound emanated from Dazai’s throat, Chuuya decided that he was awake enough to attempt conversing with.
“G’morning, stupid.”
He punctuated the greeting with a sweet kiss to the taller man’s forehead. Dazai responded in a tired, pitchy whine and burrowed further into the warmth of Chuuya’s body and the surrounding blankets.
“Mmmgh… you’re stupid.”
Chuuya snickered as he was deigned with a response from his beautifully bedheaded partner. The insult wasn’t even that anymore; if anything, it had transformed into one of the more flattering pet names in their shared repository.
A comfortable, lazy sort of silence settled over both men, and Chuuya was more than willing to enjoy a few extra minutes of peace and quiet before he had to begin his day.
Since mafia activity generally took place at night, Chuuya could spend most of his mornings at home or running errands around town. However, his daily routine always started with dragging Dazai out of bed and forcing him to get ready for work. But they didn’t have to leave the comfortable warmth quite just yet…
Dazai yawned, squeezing Chuuya’s body as he wrapped tighter around him in a rather octopus-like manner. The latter stifled a soft shiver at the tickling sensation of Dazai’s breath against his skin.
“Oi… bastard… time to wake up.”
The redhead murmured, his tone once again layered with such unwavering affection that ‘bastard’ sounded just as loving as ‘darling’ did.
Dazai shook his head stubbornly, clinging tighter. Whether he was only half-conscious or entirely lucid, Chuuya knew that the brunette would seldom choose to leave the comfort of his partner’s arms, especially not for the sake of something as bothersome as work.
Chuuya tried again, voice even more uncharacteristically soft;
“‘Samu, fishface, you gotta get up. C’mon, I’ll even drive you to your office, yeah?”
Once again, the detective refused to budge, seeming only to cling more unyieldingly. He did, however, open his eyes and gaze up at Chuuya through his lashes and the redhead found himself staring back into two pools of emptiness.
Ah, this must’ve been one of those days. He’d adapt, then. He wasn’t going to force Dazai when the man didn’t have it in him to keep all of his masks in place.
“…okay, we can snuggle a bit longer. But we still have to wash up soon, okay? I’m not letting you skip out on brushing your teeth. Hell knows how many cavities you’d have gotten by now if it weren’t for me.”
Dazai visibly relaxed at Chuuya’s understanding of his current mood—the tenseness of his muscles vanished somewhat and he gave a small nod. “Mhm. Chuuya’s such a clean freak.”
“Telling you to wash your face in the morning doesn’t make me a ‘clean freak,’ you mummified moron.”
Chuuya poked at Dazai’s bandaged ribs, which were thankfully far less prominent than they’d been back in their teen years. It always brightened Chuuya’s day to know that his lover was getting healthier.
That void of nothingness in Dazai’s pupils still bothered Chuuya however, and he tugged Dazai’s upper body to fit snugly against him as he kissed the man’s cheek.
“I’m not kissing your mouth until you brush your teeth, okay?” Chuuya hoped that the idea of being denied kisses would be enough to motivate Dazai into getting out of bed. It seemed to get somewhere at least, when the brunette groaned and stuffed his face into one of the luxurious pillows.
“Chuuya’s so cruel… my own partner, refusing me the affection I so desperately require? Torture of the most excruciating form, truly.”
At least the mood he was in wasn’t stopping his perpetual dramatics, it seemed. It did, however, worry Chuuya that Dazai was still attempting to mask and act in a way that didn’t match the vacuum of his expression.
Rolling onto his stomach, Dazai flopped onto Chuuya’s chest in a movement that was clearly more for the sake of annoying the latter rather than finding a more comfortable position.
Chuuya flicked his forehead but refrained from shoving him off, sensing that Dazai was a bit clingier than usual. He didn’t want to approach the subject of the other man’s feelings, especially not when they’d only just awoken. He’d simply enjoy the moment while he had the chance.
“Oi, if I were trying to torture you, we wouldn’t be cuddling right now.”
He said dryly, noticing that he could feel Dazai’s own heart beating against his chest. Steady, of course, since the bastard had freakishly good control over his own blood flow, but just fast enough that Chuuya could gauge that he wasn’t in the best state of mind.
It took a few more minutes of coaxing, but they both eventually found themselves standing at the bathroom counter. Chuuya was brushing his teeth while Dazai stood behind him, arms draped over the shorter man as he rested his head atop Chuuya’s fiery crown of hair.
“Chuuuyyyyyaaaaaaaa… can’t we just go back to sleep…?”
He whined, earning him an unimpressed look from Chuuya’s reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Dazai to nag, especially when he wasn’t in the mood to be up. But Chuuya couldn’t help the concern that tugged at him at the hollowness tucked away in Dazai’s expression.
It was clear that Chuuya would need to find a proper distraction for him.
“Fine, fine, wash up and we can go back to bed for a little while.”
That was motivating enough for Dazai to clean his teeth and run a wet cloth over his face, before immediately dragging Chuuya back towards the comfort of the mattress.
He climbed in and took Chuuya’s side, soaking up the hint of warmth that remained from where they’d previously been. Chuuya gave an amused scoff at the sight and carefully made his way over, settling beneath the covers beside Dazai and pulling him into his arms.
“Anything wrong in particular?”
Inquired the redhead, knowing that his partner would understand the intentions behind his words. It was unlikely that Dazai would open up, but that never stopped Chuuya from asking.
The brunette shook his head softly, sticking his face into Chuuya’s neck and mumbling into his skin.
“Just… too much.”
Rather than push for Dazai to elaborate on what that meant, Chuuya nodded in acknowledgement. Being brash or demanding would never help in such a careful situation.
“Okay.”
He whispered, tangling Dazai’s legs with his own. As much as he didn’t want to intrude though, Dazai seemed to be getting more tense, like his mind was slipping from his body entirely.
After only a minute of quiet, Chuuya began to fret about what was going on in his partner’s head. Dazai was notoriously difficult to read, even if Chuuya knew him more intimately than anyone else. Sometimes, even while tracking every little habit and mannerism, he couldn’t catch what went through the other man’s head.
“You still with me?”
He spoke up again, trying to make sure his voice was as soft as possible so as not to heighten Dazai’s state of discomfort.
He received a mere tilt of the head as confirmation, and it only served to further concern him. He tried again.
“Osamu, are you alright?”
Dazai’s whole body had gone still, save for the robotic rhythm of his heartbeat. To Chuuya, it looked like he was on autopilot.
Even after everything that they had both dealt with over the years, Chuuya wasn’t entirely too knowledgeable about his or Dazai’s own mental conditions. He did, however, recognize this particular situation now that he had a clearer understanding.
Dissociation was the term, if he recalled correctly. It had happened back when they were teens, and had freaked Chuuya out more than he would’ve liked to admit.
It was one of the quieter, less harmful states that Dazai occasionally fell into and in his particular case he was only really shutting off a bit of his brain to stop the noise. But it was a worrying sight nonetheless.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t too sure how to combat this particular sort of trauma response, especially since he had no clue what had triggered it. Stress or bad memories were possibilities… Maybe the specific date?
He decided to try whatever he assumed would work best based on his own knowledge regarding Dazai. He pulled the man up into a sitting position and tugged him into his lap. He was relieved that Dazai’s body still seemed to follow along, if only out of instinct.
First, he hoped to ground Dazai through physical sensations. He grabbed his hands and squeezed them, ran his fingers through the dark brown hair, traced the ridges of his spine, and when none of that had any effect, kissed the bridge of his nose.
Maybe verbal cues could drag Dazai out of his dissociative state. Chuuya attempted to speak with him as he continued with his gentle, testing touches.
“Hey, mackerel bastard. I dunno if you can hear me, or if you even know I’m here… but I promise I’ll be here until you’re ready to come back to me. I’m not leaving.”
That seemed to awaken something, at the very least. There was a hint of clarity in the foggy depths of Dazai’s eyes.
Chuuya smiled warmly, taking a blanket from the unkempt pile on Dazai’s side of the bed and wrapping it around the taller of the two.
“Hey, shithead, you with me?”
Dazai took a moment to register the question but when he did, he offered a soft dip of his head. He seemed to have, at the very least, escaped whatever secluded sector of his mind he’d been whisked away to, which was a plus.
Better yet– he spoke, which both relieved and pleased Chuuya greatly.
“Always calling me such… mean names.”
In typical Dazai fashion it was a complaint, but Chuuya would gladly take it over numb silence.
“What, would you prefer sweetheart? Darling, maybe? My light?”
He was surprised when Dazai nodded again, but he could sense that this side of Dazai was far more vulnerable than what he was normally willing to bare. Had he been craving gentler affection all this time? They’d been roughhousing and bickering for so long that Chuuya couldn’t actually recall ever using such sweet terms other than to tease him.
“If that’s what you’d like… my love.”
It felt odd rolling off his tongue, and yet at the same time so unbelievably natural that any reluctance that had tightened in his chest unfurled in an instant. What most delighted him however, was the sight of Dazai perking up happily and preening under the gentle name.
Wow, Chuuya would definitely have to do this more often. Despite having known the ins and outs of each other’s minds and bodies, they hadn’t stepped very far into finding out what they individually enjoyed in the more intimate parts of their relationship. The two of them were for once, trying to be careful as they entered this new, tentative relationship. They'd only recently managed to discuss their mutual feelings and they had yet to experiment much in the realm of intimacy.
It was surprising that Dazai seemed to react so positively to sweet names and affection, but certainly not unwelcome.
“D’you wanna talk about anything, sweetheart? Is something bothering you?”
After that little blank moment that Dazai had gone through, Chuuya was a bit worried about where his mind was at.
Of course, this was still Dazai. The bastard was notorious for keeping his deepest feelings more carefully guarded than the vaults of the mafia.
“Chuuya’s such a good dog, worrying about his master.”
Simultaneous waves of relief and distaste washed over Chuuya. However, he chose to focus more on the fact that Dazai seemed to be returning to himself rather than paying attention to the dog comment.
“I wouldn’t have worried if your body didn’t go on full lockdown, dummy.”
The redhead huffed, trying to keep the obvious solace out of his tone and expression, but failing spectacularly.
When silence blanketed their secluded little world once more, it was comfortable this time. Chuuya wasn’t going to nag Dazai for taking the day off. He needed it, if his previous behavior (or lack thereof) was anything to go by.
Dazai curled in on himself, knees to his chest as he tried to block out everything else. Chuuya was there to soothe him, rubbing his bandaged back in a pattern that was easy to focus on and follow.
Unprompted, Dazai questioned with uncharacteristic bashfulness, “Could Chuuya keep being nice to me…?”
The redhead was once again, very mildly taken aback, but less so than he had been the first time that Dazai had requested the gentle, fond demeanor that Chuuya could slip into.
Who was he to deny such a pretty boy, though?
“Sure, lovely. You wanna be pampered then, hm?”
He couldn’t stop the hint of amusement in his reply, relishing in the fact that Dazai so clearly had a thing for being doted on. It was in Chuuya’s nature to take proper care of what was his, and he supposed that Dazai counted in that category as well.
Dazai whined and bobbed his head in what Chuuya assumed was an attempt to convey his eagerness.
“Well?”
Asked the mafioso, half-teasing.
“What would you like, then, my heart? A bubble bath? Breakfast in bed? A massage?”
Dazai was quiet, almost like he was actually considering all of the offers, but when he spoke he opted to ask for something different.
“Can Chuuya just… distract me…?”
The way he said it held such adorable hesitance that Chuuya folded instantly, leaning down and kissing Dazai’s forehead where the man lay curled up against the sheets. When asked what exactly Dazai meant by distraction, the brunette elaborated,
“My head is just too loud. I need Chuuya to make it quiet.”
Ah. That was what this was about. Distraction that, in theory, would reduce Dazai’s genius mind to a mess of vaguely positive tingles.
Well, it had been a decent few weeks since they’d done much of anything in that regard. It wouldn’t do any harm to help Dazai achieve the mindless state he wished for.
“I… yeah, okay, I can help with that.”
Chuuya tugged Dazai up and embraced him warmly, lips meeting in slow harmony. He rested upright near the middle of the bed with Dazai seated on his thighs, their chests flush against each other.
It was easy. Rhythmic, natural, and calming. They’d been in sync for so long that Chuuya couldn’t even imagine not knowing Dazai’s moves, his heartbeat, his every breath.
Dazai seemed to return to that foggy, automatic demeanor, though, and Chuuya was determined to keep him in the present. He moved his lips to Dazai’s jaw, grazing over the skin with his teeth and licking the underside. He was glad to see the man shiver at the touch just a bit and regain himself.
They would just have to make sure that things stayed interesting, then.
Chuuya leaned down, setting Dazai onto the bed and making sure his head was comfortably placed against the pillows. He trailed small, feathery pecks down the brunette’s slender chest, keeping their fingers firmly linked together as he led Dazai’s hands up on either side of his head, coming face-to-face with his lover.
Dazai’s calves squeezed loosely on either of Chuuya’s waist, and the expression he wore was one of sweet disbelief, like Chuuya was some deity to be worshipped.
“Chuuya is being so good to me…”
The detective murmured aloud, though the way it came out seemed like it was more of a thought he’d unknowingly spoken.
“You wanted me to be good to you, didn’t you?”
The redhead asked lightly, between more kisses all over the other man’s bandaged body.
Dazai nodded pleasantly, a glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes. He pushed Chuuya closer with his legs and made a sort-of-pouty face. He definitely would’ve made grabby hands if they weren’t actively being held.
“Chuuya should give me kisses.”
Yeah. This was absolutely, undeniably adorable.
The redhead did, of course, indulge in the other’s wishes and he pressed his lips all over Dazai’s face, nuzzling against him with a smile.
Tiny, affectionate pecks rained down on the pale skin until Dazai was giggling faintly, unable to hide the joy he got from being loved so dearly.
In the milliseconds between kisses, Chuuya whispered the very sweetest of nothings to him, using the new knowledge of Dazai’s wish to be pampered to overwhelm him with adoration.
“So pretty, ‘Samu… my beautiful boy…”
Dazai melted at the words, the touch, the sheer devotion in Chuuya’s eyes. A single, barely audible whine buzzed from his throat and Chuuya swallowed the sound with another kiss.
Allowing some of his weight to settle onto Dazai, Chuuya pressed himself against the bandaged chest in the hopes of keeping him grounded. There was an underlying fear that lingered in his heart, knowing that there was still some issue that he had to uncover before he could fix it. Distraction worked only as a temporary solution, and if Chuuya didn’t know the reason behind Dazai’s absent eyes and the emptiness in his brain, he couldn’t solve the problem.
“You still doing okay, mackerel?”
He was given an acknowledging squeeze from both of Dazai’s hands, but he could see the fuzzy quality in those familiar brown eyes. The gesture was followed by a faint mumble from the taller man.
“Can you… go further…?”
Oh. That was… more than Chuuya had been expecting to be requested of. But, if Dazai thought that it might help with the headspace he was in, who was Chuuya to say no? He nodded and carefully asked, “You sure, ‘Samu?”
When that was answered with yet another nod and hand-squeeze, Chuuya took a moment to consider his options. He wasn’t particularly in the mood to do anything more than what Dazai wanted, and he planned to be as gentle as possible while giving his partner the distraction he craved. When they’d first discussed the idea of intimacy together, Chuuya had been surprised that Dazai was so willing to give up control. He’d learned that it was a nice way for the brunette to relax and get out of his own head, though, even if only for a little while.
The redhead sat back on his knees, placed between Dazai’s legs with a nice view of the latter. He tugged at Dazai’s pajama pants, and the other man lifted his hips weakly in an attempt to help Chuuya remove them.
Chuuya kissed up and down the bandaged legs that were now on display, making sure to lavish each one in well-deserved attention, just like he planned to with every other part of Dazai’s body.
He made quick work of the man’s boxers as well, his eyes flicking up as he watched the way Dazai’s throat bobbed when he was exposed.
Sex wasn’t anything new between them, but it never got boring either. There was something utterly soothing about having a partner who you could trust so fully that you could leave your body in their care.
Never one to waste a second, Chuuya kissed up from Dazai’s navel to his sternum, lips tracing over skin and gauze alike. He relished in the satisfied hum that emanated from the man beneath him, nuzzling into his collarbone and pressing his lips to that sharp, pale jaw before he moved away again.
His own clothing was done away with in a moment, lacking all the bravado that one might expect from an interaction between the two of them. Chuuya didn’t need to play things up, though. His only goal was to soothe Dazai into that liquidy-sweet state that always left him pliant and pleased.
“Slug.”
The nickname broke the silence that had been wafting easily between them, and Chuuya’s attention was immediately pulled back to Dazai rather than just his body. “Hm?”
“Hold me?”
Chuuya’s arms were around him in an instant, and he buried his face in Dazai’s neck momentarily. There was a lingering scent of something vaguely floral or fruity from the lotion that Chuuya had convinced (forced) Dazai to start applying each morning—the one meant to help keep his skin healthy and moisturized, because Dazai didn’t drink nearly enough water on a daily basis, and Chuuya didn’t want his stupid fish drying up on land.
“Y’want me to start prepping you?”
“Mhm,” Dazai tilted his head to rest one side of his face against the coolness of the pillow beneath him, letting his eyes flutter shut. “Go ahead.”
With a bit of an awkward shuffle, Chuuya reached for the bedside table’s top drawer and rummaged about blindly as he fumbled for the bottle of lube that they kept on hand.
He drizzled a generous amount onto a few of his fingers and abandoned the bottle somewhere off to the side, lost in the sea of ruffled sheets.
With exceeding gentleness in every movement, one single finger pressed against the ring of tight muscle, massaging the rim without intruding just yet. He rubbed gently at the pink skin and smiled warmly as Dazai let out a breathy sigh and sank further into relaxation.
The first finger wiggled in without incident, and he very cautiously began to press against Dazai’s walls, curling against the sensitive tissue and making slow, circular motions in an attempt to loosen the space.
In full honesty, Chuuya never liked spending much time on this step. Preparation was undeniably an essential part of healthy intimacy, but sticking a finger or three up Dazai’s rectum wasn’t exactly the sort of thing that got his rocks off.
Neither he nor Dazai were erect at the current moment—not that it bothered him, since they were doing this for the sake of distraction. It was less a matter of desire and more to do with the threads of trust that were so intricately woven between them.
It did seem that Dazai was starting to twitch to life, though, which was an indicator for Chuuya’s second finger to enter. He took his time curling and gently thrusting both fingers, leaning down to kiss Dazai’s stomach and press his face to the soft surface, taking in the warmth that radiated off of the man beneath him.
There was no one particular situation that came to mind when Chuuya pictured having sex with Dazai. Sometimes, it was fueled by heat and competition. With others, it was for the sake of exploring each other and maximizing the pleasure of the experience. And then, of course, there were times such as this.
Times where lovemaking had less to do with physical sensations and more to do with easing his partner’s mind.
If Dazai’s eyes were going to be glazed over and vacant, Chuuya wanted it to be because he was too fucked out to think, and not that he was internally tearing himself apart.
A third finger nudged its way into the already crowded hole, and Chuuya maintained his steady, gentle movements, kissing the space between the bandages on Dazai’s inner thigh as the brunette unthinkingly rocked back against the intrusion.
“Just like that, beautiful.”
The unintentional reaction that he pulled from Dazai with that little bit of praise alone was incredibly satisfying. The man’s hips jerked and his face went just a tinge pinker than before.
Chuuya knew that Dazai could choose to his heartbeat (and thereby avoid blushing,) so it was that much bigger of a deal to him to know that Dazai was letting down all of his walls when it was just the two of them.
All three fingers were eventually retracted and wiped against the sheets halfheartedly. The redhead leaned up towards Dazai’s face and nuzzled against his bandaged neck, kissing the underside of his chin. He slipped his hand into Dazai’s and gave an assuring squeeze, relishing in the way that his lover squeezed back.
He sat back on his haunches and used his free hand to rub a gratuitous amount of lubricant onto himself as he positioned his dick in line with Dazai’s hole. He was only somewhat hard, but it would get the job done, and chances were he’d be at full mast fairly soon.
Dazai inhaled shakily as Chuuya’s tip met his entrance, but he attempted to relax his body as best he could so that the redhead could fit.
“Chuuya…” the soft whine was drawn from Dazai’s parted lips as he desperately tried not to writhe at the feeling of fullness. It seemed that the distraction was working, much to Chuuya’s satisfaction.
“I’m here, love, I’m with you. You okay?”
The brunette shivered and nodded faintly, firmly encircling the other’s hips with his legs and digging his heels into Chuuya’s back to spur him forward.
“I’m fine, slug, I’m not made of glass.”
He huffed the retort with as much dignity as he could muster, which was a pitifully small amount when he was too busy focusing on the feeling of a rather sizable intrusion.
Chuuya wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained and instead tended to the bare patches of skin between Dazai’s bandages, areas of which Chuuya believed were sorely unloved. He always took great joy from peppering every open inch of Dazai’s body in his touch, and it was especially nice to take it at the slow, deeply affectionate pace that he’d set thus far.
“I see you’re working that fish brain of yours, if you have the ability to complain.” He said instead, still internally marveling at the sight of his lover like this. They could make love a thousand times and he’d still be enamored with the view that only he had the privilege of beholding.
The mutual consensus seemed to be that movement was fair game now, so Chuuya gave a testing rock of his hips and was pleased to be met with an approving sigh.
Dazai wasn’t very loud during sex unless he specifically wanted to be—more often than not, it was simply for the sake of being a brat—and it was natural for him not to respond at times. Chuuya had never minded; if anything, he liked to know that Dazai wasn’t faking anything. If he truly was crying out in pleasure, Chuuya could rest assured that he was doing things right.
He set a smooth, careful pace in and out. Nothing remotely rough, as that wasn’t the mood for that morning, and always with an underlying sense of warmth as he dished out more affection in the form of kisses, touches, and sweet nothings.
Their bodies synchronized, moving in tandem. When Chuuya pushed close, Dazai’s body squeezed around him. When he pulled back, Dazai took the chance to breathe out, spacing out his breaths with every thrust of Chuuya’s hips.
This was one of the less expected benefits of their partnership. The chemistry that they had on the battlefield—shielding each other and performing the perfect attacks—translated perfectly in bed, which was a welcomed side effect. The complexities of their relationship were something that neither man found necessary to mention, and so they remained unspoken. But they didn’t need words when they could convey everything through touch, in the softest and most intimate moments such as this morning.
Each movement was slow, deliberate, careful, and they wrapped around each other even further; legs tangled, hands linked, lips all over one another. The closest thing to perfection that Chuuya would likely ever experience.
The warmth inside of Dazai’s body was welcoming, enveloping Chuuya in the wet comfort that he’d never get tired of. He slipped in and out with every few heartbeats, taking his time and giving his whole heart to his lover.
As unexpected as an amatory relationship was between the two, it slotted into their dynamic seamlessly, just another tile in their shared mosaic.
Of all the things that Chuuya adored in that moment, the way that Dazai looked up at him was undoubtedly his favorite. So fond, so much more expressive than usual, and so real. It spoke volumes about how safe he felt in Chuuya’s arms, and it meant the world to them both.
Subconsciously, Chuuya had been adjusting his angle over time, shifting the position in which he pistoned his hips to reach the spot that had the greatest effect. He realized he was doing so when Dazai began to let out small pants and he squeezed Chuuya’s hands just a hint tighter.
Of course, the redhead noticed his own actions, and also took in the very pleased—and mildly impatient—reaction from Dazai.
“Mmmhh… there, Chuuya, right there…”
Chuuya nodded, taking the initiative to accelerate his thrusts as he began to move with more precision, submerging his partner in a heady cloud of bliss with every brush of nerves.
“So good, Osamu, you’re doing so well…”
It was less often that he encouraged Dazai during their escapades, since he thought that the brunette would feel it somewhat belittling to be treated in such a way, when it was in fact quite the opposite; Dazai was a sucker for praise in just about any form that Chuuya was willing to give, and especially so during intimacy. Now that Chuuya knew how fulfilling it was for his lover, he was determined to please Dazai without inflating his ego too much in the process.
“Hahh… you’re getting so sappy…”
Dazai groaned, but his blush—and moreso the way his pupils were blown wide—fully dissolved any teases he might’ve gathered on his tongue. It was undeniable that he was a sponge for attention, soaking up every drop of Chuuya’s affection and caching it in the depths of his ribcage to hold close at all times.
“Hush. Just let yourself feel without spouting some witty nonsense, bastard.”
“There’s my— nhh— there’s my Chuuya,”
The brunette chuckled breathily, his chest rising and falling more rapidly as the force entering his body began to physically jolt him back and forth.
The threads in Chuuya’s stomach were snapping one by one, and it wouldn’t be long before he crashed into that hazy field of thoughtlessness that always fell upon him after a good buildup. It seemed that Dazai was in an equal state, so Chuuya freed one hand and reached down to begin stroking the untouched cock in front of him, which had been bouncing limply against Dazai’s stomach for the duration of their activities.
He grinned when he pulled a gasp from his lover’s lips by thumbing the tip and gently pressing a nail against the slit, and he stretched his body as far as possible to reach Dazai’s lips, kissing him while he gave that final shove that was necessary for the taller man to fall apart.
Dazai cried out weakly, the sound trickling off into a tranceful moan as he came. Chuuya worked him all the way through it, paying no mind to the stickiness splattering across his lower torso.
When the shuddering came to a stop, Chuuya took a moment to cautiously extract himself, pulling out without orgasming. He kissed up Dazai’s body and flopped down beside him, holding the man’s head to his chest so that Dazai could press against firm muscle and listen to the beating of his lover’s heart.
“You feeling any better?”
There was a single nod, which was enough of a reply for Chuuya. It was then that Dazai spoke, unprompted, and explained;
“I had a rather awful nightmare. My mind replayed the night I deserted, which as you know, was not a very pleasant time. The feelings just followed me after I woke up… I didn’t mean to worry you.”
Chuuya was startled by the open elaboration of Dazai’s prior behavior, but more than anything he was simply relieved that the man no longer seemed to be disturbed.
“Thank you for letting me take your mind off of things, then.” He said, kissing Dazai’s temple and smiling against his skin. The brunette whined and returned to his usual griping, always looking for something to nag Chuuya about.
“Slug didn’t even get off, am I not enough?” He lamented dramatically, rousing a halfhearted snort from Chuuya, who gently flicked him in the side.
“I didn’t feel like cleaning your lanky ass up. I’ll do it in the shower, no big deal.”
“Hmph. Just another excuse, Chuuya hates me.”
“You make it easy to.”
“Chuuya!”
Dazai smacked him lightly and harrumphed, crossing his arms indignantly and rolling to face away from the redhead, who only snickered at the reaction. Ever the appeaser, Chuuya offered, “You can help me out in the shower, alright? C’mon, we’ve gotta clean off anyhow. I’ll make you breakfast after, deal?”
As quickly as he had turned away, Dazai moved back to his previous spot, snuggling up into Chuuya’s arms and nuzzling his chest.
“Aftercare? For me? Chuuya’s treating me so well~”
“Shut up. That’s the bare minimum, stupid fish.”
They managed to make it to the shower after a bit more back and forth. The soothing sensation of warm water rinsing down Chuuya’s back was sorely needed after the small sweat he’d worked up before.
His shower, much like many of the other commodities in his ridiculous penthouse, was overly grand, with a slab of marble that served as a bench and shelf space built into the walls to store the products for his extensive hair care routine.
Dazai sat on the bench with his hair slicked back to keep from dripping in his face—a futile attempt, since his bangs continued to slip and cover his eyes, but far too cute for Chuuya to bother helping him. He was placed daintily, hands in his lap, gazing up at Chuuya with wide brown eyes and a pouty face that meant he wanted something. He patted the spot beside him, scooting over so that Chuuya could sidle onto the marble with him.
Chuuya could already see exactly where—or what, more specifically—Dazai was eyeing, so he relaxed his shoulders and spread his legs, leaning back against the cool tile of the walls.
“Insatiable bandage-waster.” He grumbled.
“And yet you let me have my way nonetheless.” Grinned Dazai, who’d gained much of his spark now, and was noticeably more energized than before.
Dazai leaned heavily against Chuuya’s side, head propped on his shoulder as water poured over them both. One of his pale arms snaked around Chuuya’s waist, while the other reached between his thighs eagerly.
Chuuya allowed himself a break and settled for letting Dazai do the work this time around. The latter was more than happy to put the effort in, giving a few soft squeezes to Chuuya’s inner thighs before awkwardly climbing between the redhead’s legs and curling up against his chest.
He was welcomed into a comfortable embrace and Chuuya kissed his cheek as Dazai nestled himself as best he could to fit in the smaller lap.
From his position, Chuuya had a stunning view of Dazai’s exposed body—the pale, marred skin dotted with the occasional freckle; the droplets that poured down his body like rain beyond a window; his eyes, which had previously been absent, now lacked any sign of distress. The very picture of beauty, at least in Chuuya’s opinion.
There was something comforting about letting Dazai mark and feel as he saw fit. Perhaps Chuuya just liked knowing that he was the only one that the brunette had eyes for. He didn’t like to think of himself as possessive over his partner, but he also couldn’t deny the immense fulfillment that he got when he reminded himself that nobody else would ever get to see Dazai like this. He’d make sure of that even if it killed him.
Dazai had been steadily making his way down Chuuya’s body as he sloppily traced the curves of the redhead’s upper body with his lips and tongue. He’d started simply kissing the face and neck, but had advanced to sucking and nipping at the well-defined muscles of his shoulders and clavicle.
Nothing was out of the ordinary in their current situation. Chuuya had allowed himself to check out for a while and relax, but he snapped back to attention when he felt Dazai’s mouth wrapping around one of his nipples. Sure enough, he looked down and found the brunette sucking diligently, eyes closed and brows furrowed as he focused on the task at hand.
Fuuuuuck, he was way too cute. Chuuya reached up and carded a hand up from the back of Dazai’s neck and into his soaking brown hair, scratching his head soothingly as Dazai melted against him.
It wasn’t lost on him that Dazai’s hips had begun to rut lazily against him. Chuuya wasn’t about to complain, anyway. He returned the movement, grinding up against Dazai and smirking as his partner jolted at the sensation.
Dazai let off with a faint huff as he wrapped his arms around Chuuya’s neck and hid his face there. They continued to brush against each other, shivering in unison as electric nerves raced through them both.
“Mmm… darling?”
Chuuya hadn’t meant much by the pet name—he was still testing how well each one seemed to fit Dazai—but was quite pleased when the brunette nuzzled closer and rocked his hips just a little more eagerly than before. This newfound power was going to be fully abused, Chuuya would make sure of that.
“Hm?” Came the noncommittal response from the darling in question.
“You said you’d finish the job, didn’t you?”
“Is Chuuya so impatient to be rid of me?”
Dazai faked a sniffle in the most mocking manner possible, which was shortly followed by a gasp when Chuuya reached down and squeezed his ass.
“Shut it, dumbass. I’m just saying that as much as I’m loving this, my hot water bill is going to be through the roof if we sit around for much longer.”
“Since when was Chuuya worried about expenses? Is that mafia paycheck dwindling to match your size?”
He was met with another squeeze in retaliation and grumbled under his breath as if he wasn’t loving it.
“Just because I make enough money that I could have the water running for the whole month, doesn’t mean I want to spend it that way. It’s wasteful, anyhow.”
“Chuuya is calling my pleasure wasteful?”
“I didn’t say shit about that, stop putting words in my mouth.”
“I can put something else in your mouth instead~”
“Just-” Chuuya groaned and covered his face with the hand that wasn’t on Dazai’s bottom. “You’re impossible. It’s mystifying that I still choose to spoil you when you clearly don’t deserve it.”
“Chuuya! So rude! My beloved slug hates me, how tragic! Woe and despair, alas and alack, for I am unloved!”
Annoying as it may have been, Chuuya had to hand it to him for his dramatics. Only someone like Dazai could ever manage to be so adorably charming whilst also being the most obnoxious asshole that Chuuya had ever had the displeasure of meeting.
After another few complaints, Dazai complied with what had been previously asked of him and began to grind down more insistently, and Chuuya met him halfway as they both worked their hips.
“How’s this for unloved?” Chuuya smirked, bucking roughly upwards. The motion elicited a small sound from Dazai that further fueled the redhead, and he tilted his partner’s head down by his chin and pressed an eager kiss to his lips.
He repeated the fast, unyielding pace as his stomach began to tighten with the familiar sensations that he subconsciously attributed to Dazai’s influence. In reality, it was just the coil of heat that preluded his approaching climax.
“Hmmhh- Chuuya, ah, where’d this energy come from—? Hmh- you were so gentle before,”
Dazai panted heavily as he met every thrust that jutted up against him. He was grinning, dark eyes swirling with a sort of exuberant glow that had become a more common occurrence with Chuuya around.
“I was gentle earlier because- mmh, you needed it gentle. I’m using more force now because we both like it that way. Is that- hahh- does that bother you?”
If Chuuya’s hair wasn’t already plastered to his head from the shower, it would’ve been from sweat. He was putting in a near overwhelming effort with a single goal engrained in each and every nerve of his body.
Dazai shook his head, but Chuuya could tell from the faint tremors that at least something was unpleasant for him. Of course, Chuuya was having none of that.
He eased up on his pace, reverting to a slower, more sensual grind like before. Dazai grumbled and made it very clear that he was displeased by the change, so Chuuya soothed him with a kiss to the temple and wrapped both arms securely around his waist.
“Y’know that I want you to tell me if something’s up, right? None of the walls that you put up here will be of any help to either of us.”
Reluctantly, Dazai leaned into him fully and tucked his head against Chuuya’s throat. It was an awkward position given their respective heights, and Dazai had to curl in on himself to fit, but he found it to be worth it, when he could take a moment to soak in his lover’s warmth.
“I know that, and I trust you, just… do you not like being gentle with me?”
At the question, Chuuya’s expression morphed into one so incredulous that it was almost laughable. Dazai couldn’t see it from where he was tucked away, but the shift was immediate.
“Hah? Did your brain finally combust or something? Of course I like being gentle with you, stupid. Where’s this coming from?”
Despite the words and tone that he used, his touch grew impossibly softer as he began to stroke Dazai’s back in a lax, soothing manner. The brunette gave a soft ‘hmph’ in response, but chose to speak again anyhow.
“Well… Chuuya is usually so rough. And, yeah, I like it rough, but… I also like slow, like earlier. But we don’t do that often.” Dazai’s face was burning hotter the more he spoke, and he forced his mouth to clamp shut before he became too vulnerable for his own liking.
“Oh, hey, ‘Samu…”
Chuuya tilted Dazai’s head up again so that they could look at each other, cupping the brunette’s pale cheek and kissing him tenderly. It was a small relief that his eyes were still warmer than before. There was a lurking concern that Dazai was still struggling with the emotions that he was processing that morning, so Chuuya could only be thankful that he was handling it this well.
“I didn’t realize you saw it that way, silly mackerel. I get how hard it is for you to express this sort of thing, and that’s fine.”
He kissed up and down Dazai’s face, smiling as Dazai kissed back and they rested their foreheads together.
“When we started out with this whole ‘being together’ thing, we never brought up pet names, and you never called me any unless it was a joke, so I thought you wouldn’t want all of that sappy shit.”
Momentarily, only the steady running of water was heard between them, until Dazai let out a slow, tired exhale through his nose.
“It’s… stupid, so I didn’t want to bother you with asking. I guess the idea of being soft and domestic just seemed too unlike us to really consider. But… if it’s something you’re okay with…” He trailed off, but Chuuya understood.
“Of course I’m okay with it. I’d be okay with it if you only ever wanted gentle sex. Hell, I’d be okay if you didn’t want to have sex at all. What matters to me most is that we can both be comfortable. This is a really vulnerable state for us both, and I’d never want to hurt you when you’re willingly giving yourself to me.”
Once again there was a bout of silence as Dazai sat with wide eyes. As much as he understood Chuuya, there were times like this where even Dazai was stunned at his words.
“So… Chuuya doesn’t mind if I call him pet names?”
“Why the hell not? ‘Sweetheart’ at least sounds more endearing than ‘slug’ does.” Chuuya scoffed, pressing his lips to Dazai’s cheek.
This, of course, warranted a test from Dazai to see what nicknames worked best.
“Chuuya, baby?” Was met with a soft snicker, but nothing more. He seemed indifferent. Dazai tried again.
“Darling?” That was a bit cuter, Chuuya supposed, so he kissed right beneath Dazai’s eye and smiled approvingly.
“Honey?” The reaction to that one was also fairly positive, which encouraged the brunette to try more.
“My love?”
Oh.
That was unfair to Chuuya’s heart. How could he take something so adorable? He couldn’t physically pull Dazai any closer, but he would’ve if given the chance. He wanted to meld their bodies together until they shared a single soul.
Perhaps they already did.
He affirmed his appreciation for that particular pet name by kissing Dazai before he could speak again, the hand on his cheek sliding to the nape of his neck and then even further up to tangle in his hair once again.
He wasn’t sure how long the kiss lasted, but at some point he became acutely aware of Dazai grinding against his thigh. And, well, who was he to complain?
They pulled apart slowly, hesitantly, like doing so could be harmful. Both faces flushed, both lips swollen, both pairs of wide-blown eyes.
“Something tells me,” Dazai started, still attempting to regain his breath, “that you may have liked that one.”
Chuuya snorted. “What gave you that idea?”
Subconsciously, he and Dazai had started moving back and forth again. This time around, though, Chuuya was more confident in how to play into what his partner had requested.
Dazai rolled his hips and Chuuya began to scratch lightly at the back of his lover’s head, where his fingers were still combing through the soft brown hair.
As they were both too busy gazing intently into each other’s eyes, Chuuya failed to notice one of Dazai’s hands snaking down mischievously and wrapping around Chuuya’s base. The latter jolted at the unexpected touch and was about to scowl when Dazai started stroking.
Now, there was something about Dazai’s hand jobs that Chuuya simply couldn’t comprehend. It always felt heavenly, but his touches were never in one place for long. Chuuya could never keep up with where the hand on him was, he could only feel and hope that Dazai didn’t intend to tease him.
The best thing about handing over the reins was that Chuuya could fall apart as he pleased. He closed his eyes and resigned himself to feeling—the water hitting his skin, the cold tile his body was pressed against, the warmth of Dazai sitting in his lap—and allowed all other thoughts to vanish.
When release tipped over, he went with it. He leaned his head against Dazai’s shoulder, huffing softly as his breathing returned to normal. All evidence washed down the drain as quickly as it had appeared, and that was fine.
“Thank you,” Chuuya eventually mumbled into damp skin. He decided it would be for the best to actually wash himself before getting out, which was a simple enough task.
Once they finished showering, Chuuya took a seat on the edge of the tub and began to dry his hair. Dazai perched on the countertop and wrapped himself in a ridiculously fuzzy bathrobe. It felt like any other morning, really.
Returning to the bedroom, Chuuya found himself staring at the ruffled sheets for a moment too long, since Dazai took notice and immediately found a way to tease him.
“What, is Chuuya going to get back in bed? I was promised breakfast, you know. My dearest slug is betraying me with such ease, and for the sake of lazing around, no less!”
He couldn’t exactly blame Chuuya for the headbutt that he received after that comment.
“I’m just thinking about how I have to change the sheets now, asshole. Not like you’re ever any help with chores.”
They seamlessly slid right back into their usual banter, leaving behind the morning’s worries. There was no residual lust–not that there had been lust in the first place–nor any reason to bring up any of what they’d spoken about. It was already a wonder that they could bare their souls to each other so easily. Or, more accurately, it was beautiful that they could piece together the two halves of their shared soul.
That was what their love truly was. The existence that they alone could share.