Chapter Text
Morty wasn’t stupid.
… or, at least he wasn’t that stupid. Whatever he and Em were doing was gay. Or at least, Morty's feelings about it were. So, remembering his promise to Rick to update him if he figured out he was gay, and as Rick said “rip the band-aid off” he found himself knocking on the garage door to talk to Rick.
Before Rick even burped out “come in” Morty was already inside the garage. Unlike the last time they talked about Em, they weren’t fighting, so Morty felt more comfortable treating the garage as both of their lab, not just Rick’s.
“Hey Rick!” Morty started, picking at his fingers nervously. Even though Rick already said he’d support Morty if he was queer, Morty still felt a little nervous. “So remember that conversation we had um… about Evil Morty? After I had a sleepover with him?”
Rick smiled knowingly. He already knew this conversation was going to happen, and it was simply a matter of when “not to steal your thunder here, Morty, but no need for the pleasantries, we both know you’re here to tell me you’re pansexual like Grandpa.”
“Uh… Actually I think I’m bisexual” Morty said, he didn’t know much about labels but after a bit of searching on his phone and looking at videos online he learned that bi means you have a gender preference but like both, and pan means you don’t, and Morty… thinks he prefers women, so he landed on bi. But then another thought hit him “actually wait you’re pansexual?” He asked Rick.
Rick looked at Morty as if he asked the dumbest question ever “Morty, of- of course I am! You’ve seen me get with Hiveminds and Planets and this is surprising to you?”
“I’m… more surprised you know what pansexual means.”
“Of course I do, Morty!” Rick belched “it’s not some- something new to your generation, it’s existed since the nineties! God- you- you fucking kids really think queer history is some new hip thing! But seriously, don’t be bisexual, be- be pansexual with Grandpa.”
Morty could not tell if Rick was messing with him or not. “I- I can’t just change sexualities, Rick, that’s kinda the whole thing!” Morty said “‘B- Born this way’ and all that. I have a preference! That- that makes me bisexual!”
“Alright, fine! Most Morty’s are bisexual, so I guess that makes sense” Rick said, caving immediately. He didn’t honestly expect Morty to fold, but it was fun fighting with him if he was being honest.
“You knew that the whole time and didn’t tell me to begin with?”
“You- you gotta figure out that stuff yourself… would you really have listened to me if I just said ‘Morty, you’re bisexual’? No, y- you wouldn’t!”
Morty sighed “I- I guess? I don’t know, you’re never this… patient about things,” he said.
Rick rolled his eyes “no, Morty, I’m not a robot, it's just been fun watching you and Evil Morty flail around as you attempt to get a grasp at teenage dating. I need something to laugh at now that Jerry’s employed.”
Morty’s shoulders sagged in exasperation “you’re the worst,” he said bluntly.
“Yeah, yeah, I know” Rick responded, putting his hands on his hips “but what’s the next step, then? I mean, you like him, I know damn well he likes you… when are you gonna ask him out?”
Morty clenched his fists “I don’t know!” He whined “I just found out I’m interested in him, I’m not trying to move things so fast! Besides, I mean… I don’t know… what if you’re wrong?”
“I’m never wrong, Morty.”
“Whatever, okay? Just… I want to make sure I actually like him, okay? I mean… I have a crush, but do I really wanna date him? He’s still… uh… evil. You know?”
“Morality is relative, Morty” Rick said in a sing-song tone, more and more amused by this conversation by the second.
“Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that,” Morty said, already leaving the garage, slamming the door in Rick's face before he could get out another jab about Morty’s love life.
Morty stormed up to his bedroom and shut the door. He was gonna take this his way, better to not rush into things and risk ruining this friendship, starting with some more light conversation over text.
Well shit.
Morty did not plan to get this far. He planned on just chatting, but before he knew it, he went over his head.
What would they even do together? They could play video games together again, Morty did get that new-ish space game console from Space Mom not too long ago. But while it was hard to tell if that memory was just tainted because it’s when he first discovered his Mom and Space Mom cheating on Dad, or if it was because the realistic video games just turned out to be kinda lame… possibly both, Morty didn’t feel too confident about that one.
Morty knew he had to pick something worth Em’s time, Em saw things possibly even more insane than Morty had, he lived a more intense and interesting life on his own, away from everyone outside the Central Finite Curve. It was Morty’s first time inviting him over for something rather than Em inviting him, he had to make a good impression. So while a part of Morty was tempted to plan something more romantic like seeing a movie, or walking through the park to help give Em a hint that he liked him, he knew that wouldn’t impress him.
However, Morty could simply plan a romantic date off planet (date in heavy quotations! We’re taking this slow!), it might not be impressive, but he’d at least be able to keep up with Em more. But what were some of the places Morty knew that he enjoyed seeing, and would be cool to someone like Em? Typically it wasn’t hard to impress a date when Rick’s tech got involved, any of it was special to anyone else, the issue usually was getting the tech. However, Em was Morty if he was much less easy to impress, he knew everything Morty knew and more.
Morty couldn’t help but immediately think of Blips and Chitz. Despite his first time going there being when he wanted to immediately leave because Rick sold a gun to an assassin and was using the money for tokens, and a different time being when he was held hostage in one of the games, he still loved that place. However, he wondered if an arcade would really be Em’s thing, he was a classy guy, and the filth ridden floors and the bar Rick loved so much might be a no for Em. So Morty decided against it, and his next thought was one of the ice cream parlors in the Gloppy Drop System. Unlike Blips and Chitz, which Em definitely was familiar with, Morty knew a specific parlor that served some of the best icecream, even for that system, and Em couldn’t possibly know, as it was put in long after Em moved away from his Rick and his reality. This could be a cool new thing Morty could show Em! Well… maybe cool was an exaggeration, but…
Before Morty could even respond, he could hear the sound of Em portaling into his room.
As Morty scrambled to sit up in his bed and straighten his hair, Em gave a quick smile, yet all Morty saw when he looked up was that unreadable expression on his face.
This was gonna be a long day for Morty.