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Andrealphus was never good at compromise, but he was slowly starting to get the hang of it. He had to, whether he wanted to or not, because if he wished for Vassago to stay, he had to learn to give a little.
There had been some touch-and-go moments at the beginning. Vassago was very stern about his demands being met before he would even think about holding Andrealphus’ fucking hand. Andrealphus was stuck taking accountability for Stolas’ downfall, promising to leave the ex-prince alone, and lastly, accepting that he wouldn’t always get his way.
Which was difficult.
Dating Vassago meant accepting spontaneous moments, which he did not appreciate. Last-minute changes did not fit in with his well-thought-out, very much controlled plans.
“Come on, mi amor!” Vassago always teased him. “Live a little with me!”
It was as if Vassago purposely didn’t see his eyerolls and snarls, and while he would never admit this, he always ended up having a good time. Whether it was late-night trips or early-morning snuggles that kept them late for council meetings, Andrealphus found his heart beating a little faster in his frozen chest. Vassago’s laugh, so nerdy and horrid, never failed to make Andrealphus smile in return. These little moments, never planned, that just existed between the two, somehow became his treasured ‘good times.’
It was the culmination of these good times that led Andrealphus to make the ridiculous decision to ask Vassago for his hand in marriage, which led to a quiet elopement and then to moving in together. Of course, a compromise had to happen quickly on which of the two homes they would primarily reside in. Andrealphus was so attached to his ice palace and Vassago to his sunny villa that it nearly became the nearly became the shortest Goetia marriage in Hell's history. Luckily, a near-disaster was averted by a very unique magical compromise.
Andrealphus’ palace now looked like someone had taken Vassago’s villa and smashed it inside his. Right down the middle, his glorious frozen sanctuary was now a part-time paradise of sunshine, warm days, and lounging by the poolside.
Whatever, Andrealphus could deal with that. He dealt with Vassago’s little whims of fancy and his foolish attempts that ended in disaster. He survived Vassago’s pesky remarks like ‘Where do you see us in ten years, Andy?’ and ‘Do you think we are ready to try something new, Andy?’ and ‘Would you be willing to try for me, Andy?’
Andrealphus learned to deal with all of it, and apparently, he dealt with it so well that before long, he found himself in the middle of another potential disaster.
“Hello, little one,” Vassago whispered as he reached for their newly hatched daughter for the first time. “Oh, Andy, isn’t she beautiful?”
To say the very least, their daughter was not beautiful fresh out of the egg. Naked of feathers, screeching for food, and with her very prominent beak making up the majority of her little body, Andrealphus chose to compromise by not telling Vassago how he truly felt.
“How do you feel about Vanina?” Vassago asked as he swaddled the crying baby. “Nina for short.”
Andrealphus watched Vassago flick away the pieces of eggshell stuck to the hatchling’s forehead. “That sounds… great.”
For a single moment, Andrealphus worried this was a compromise he shouldn’t have agreed to. He had never imagined himself as a father, and had never expected to have to care for anything other than himself. But now there was a screaming baby in his husband’s arms and eggshell on his bed, and he felt the rising worry in his gut that he had royally fucked up.
Then Vassago placed the little chick in his arms.
“I will grab her something to eat,” Vassago said, and Andrealphus noticed the well of tears in his eyes. “Oh, Andrealphus, I am so happy.”
Andrealphus didn’t understand how Vassago could be happy with their bed a mess and the screaming thing that he had plopped into Andrealphus’ arms before abandoning them. He looked down at the chick and noticed how her beak was exactly like Vassago’s, and her little cheeks were already so chubby for being a hatchling. The poor little thing couldn’t even open her eyes.
Defenseless, vulnerable, little thing.
“Oh, that is enough now,” Andrealphus murmured to the screaming chick.
To Andrealphus’ shock, the chick listened. She squawked a few more soft cries, but then she fell silent as she bobbed her little head in her swaddle, as though looking for something.
“Vassago will be back soon with your dinner,” Andrealphus told her.
The chick turned towards him and nudged her little beak against him.
“What?” Andrealphus asked and lifted her to get a better look at her little face. “What could you possibly….”
Then, she smiled. Nina smiled, and Andrealphus melted.
***
From that day forward, Nina was his whole world. Everywhere Andrealphus went, he was sure to bring her along. She nested in a small baby carrier, strapped to Andrealphus’ chest for the majority of her hatchling days. Vassago got to hold her every so often, but Andrealphus was quick to answer anything she needed (or delegate someone else to get it for her). He dressed her in fashionable outfits, and when her feathers came in, he wept at their beautiful violet sheen.
“A perfect blend of us both, mi amor,” Vassago whispered to Andrealphus as Nina slept on his chest, her little hands gripping his feathers.
“A little more me than you, but yes,” Andrealphus teased, knowing that Vassago would tell him he was crazy.
It was only a matter of time before the idea came to him. Nina, now a fluffball of feathers and giggles, was practicing her crawling in the foyer when he noticed something interesting.
They had spent the weekend hanging up Sinsmas decorations, a holiday Andrealphus hadn’t celebrated in years, but Vassago was an avid fan of. The castle had become the most holly fucking jolly place in all of Pride. Vassago had even brought out a large family portrait from when he was just a little macaw, so of course, Andrealphus had to find the one where he and Stella wore matching attire with their parents in their most festive (and expensive) Sinsmas wear.
They decided to hang the portraits in the foyer so that anyone visiting could see their Sinsmas pride, and as Andrealphus looked up at them, he realized something.
Somehow, in the flurry of taking care of Nina, Andrealphus had missed that they didn’t have a family photo of themselves.
Sure, they had portraits of Nina’s egg (thank fuck Vassago pushed for that) and less formal pictures (mostly selfies of Andrealphus in matching outfits with Nina), but nothing like the grand portraits of their families.
They had portraits with their own families, Andrealphus’ and Vassago’s, and none with Nina.
“Vassago!” Andrealphus shouted, picking up Nina just as she crawled towards the stairs, “Get your feathery red-” Andrealphus quickly covered Nina’s ears, “-cloaca down here now!”
The next hour was a scurry of anxious, guilty thoughts formulating into a rather convoluted plan. They needed a portrait tonight. Not in a few weeks like Vassago had suggested, but now.
“Sinsmas is tomorrow,” Andrealphus argued. “And our darling daughter is not featured in our foyer!”
Vassago tsked, “Our darling daughter will not notice.”
Andrealphus screeched, “I noticed!”
Vassago shook his head, but helped Andrealphus look through Nina’s extensive wardrobe to find anything that matched, because to Andrealphus, that was a requirement. When they had both agreed that, among the three of their wardrobes, no combination would work, extreme measures had to be taken.
“We will just have to go shopping,” Andrealphus decided, picking up Nina even as she yawned.
“She is tired,” Vassago pointed out. “You know how she gets if she doesn’t take a nap.”
“She will sleep on the way,” Andrealphus insisted.
Nina did not sleep on the way. In fact, Nina stayed awake and cooed as they journeyed to the nearest luxury apparel stores, and she did not sleep as they went into countless others to search for appropriate attire at the last minute. She did not sleep as Andrealphus had her try on dozens of outfits.
“Let me just magic up our outfits,” Vassago suggested, but Andrealphus would not have it.
“You are not the designer that you think you are.” Andrealphus pulled another scratchy sweater over Nina’s little head. “You would wear cargo shorts and a ratty old button-up if I left this business to you.”
“If you left this business to me, we would take our time and do things right.” Vassago shook his head in amusement.
Andrealphus finally narrowed down the choices he found acceptable for their very unplanned impromptu family portrait, around the same time Nina decided she was hungry.
While Nina was very similar to Vassago in appearance, she had somehow inherited Stella’s screech when she was unhappy.
“Nina, sweetheart, daddy is almost done,” Andrealphus murmured as he loaded Vassago’s arms with more sweaters.
Nina was not having it, and she screeched impossibly louder.
“She is hungry,” Vassago said from somewhere under the pile of clothing.
“Thank you, Prince Obvious.”
“You do not need to be like that.”
“You do not need to tell me what my daughter needs.”
“I think you mean our daughter!”
Nina continued to screech.
Eventually, they made it back home, and Andrealphus went to fetch a container of mushy snake-and-mango chickfood. Nina wasn’t one to eat fast, and instead enjoyed lengthy meals with lots of laughing with Vassago. Unfortunately for her, Andrealphus was on a self-imposed schedule.
“Focus,” Andrealphus instructed as he held the spoon up to her beak.
Nina clicked her beak angrily as Andrealphus tapped against the side of her mouth, but eventually accepted the food. She had just managed to swallow the bite when he already had another lined up.
Vassago groaned, “She is going to be sick if you keep forcing her to eat.”
“She is not going to have a portrait of her family for Sinsmas if she doesn’t.”
“I am once again telling you, my dearest husband, that the baby does not care.”
“Well, this baby cares.” Andrealphus pointed at his chest with the baby spoon, leaving a splatter of mushed yellow on his vest.
Finally, with Nina fed, Andrealphus demanded they get dressed. Andrealphus wore an outfit similar to his everyday robes, only this was made of thick wool, and the fur was made of some kind of endangered topside animal. Vassago wore a golden cashmere scarf tucked into his thick red peacoat. And finally, Nina, who squirmed and squawked as Andrealphus put her in a blue snowsuit with gloves and boots.
“She is going to have a temper tantrum,” Vassago warned as Andrealphus placed a set of earmuffs on Vassago and then another pair on Nina.
“She will be just fine.”
Andrealphus opened a portal and grabbed their very expensive camera. Guiding his husband through, he held Nina close as they stepped into ankle-deep, fluffy white snow in the middle of a forest. The tree tops were tipped in white, and some even had sparkling icicles hanging down from their branches. Nina’s breath came out in a puff of smoke when she let out a frustrated chirp at the change of temperature.
“Where the Hell are we?” Vassago asked, his beak already clattering from the cold. “It is like a frozen wasteland of trees and snow.”
“I believe those disgusting humans call it ‘Wisconsin,” Andrealphus answered and took in a deep breath of the icy air with a manic grin. “The perfect place for a family portrait.”
“Mi estúpido marido…” Vassago cursed.
They spent the next twenty minutes searching the woods for the ‘perfect spot.’ Andrealphus couldn’t rightly explain where the ‘perfect spot’ was, so Vassago couldn’t even help to find it. According to Vassago, the perfect spot was wherever Andrealphus decided to stop walking so they could get the damn picture already.
Finally, when the right spot appeared, Andrealphus magicked the camera to the perfect angle. Nina was fussing by then and refusing to cooperate. Andrealphus clicked his beak in a reassuring fashion that usually worked, but Nina wasn’t having it. He managed to convince her by grabbing a handful of ‘emergency berries’ that he kept on hand for situations like this that he let her snack on.
“Now, Vassago, please keep a stoic face,” Andrealphus ordered as he propped Nina up to face the camera. “Family portraits are a serious matter.”
“You are joking,” Vassago huffed.
Using his magic, Andrealphus whisked away the berry juice from Nina’s fluffy cheeks and turned to the camera. Nina squirmed again in his arms, and he held her tighter to his chest. He pressed the ten-second timer on the camera, and it counted down with loud ‘ticks.’
“I’m not joking.” Andrealphus stepped closer to Vassago so they were shoulder to shoulder. “Family portraits should be a reflection of the family. Don’t be ridiculous.”
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
“Then I’m smiling,” Vassago said.
Tick, tick.
Nina angrily chirped.
Andrealphus sharply turned to Vassago. “Don’t you dare-”
Tick
The camera flashed, and Andrealphus let out a loud hiss.
“Great!” Andrealphus snapped. “We will just have to do it again, and do it right this time.”
Nina wiggled and let out two very sharp squawks.
“I’m not going to look like I’m annoyed,” Vassago argued as Andrealphus set the camera up again.
“I didn’t say you should look annoyed,” Andrealphus said, and pressed the timer. “I said to look stoic. Regal, if that makes you happier. You are one of the heads of our family. We should act like we know what we are fucking doing.”
Tick, tick, tick, tick
Vassago nudged Andrealphus with his shoulder. “You can’t be happy with your life and know what you are doing at the same time?”
Nina squawked even louder.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
Andrealphus spoke through a clenched beak, “Just do it.”
Tick, tick.
When the flash went off, Andrealphus hoped that it was just the wind making the horrible retching noise, but Nina’s pitiful cries told him otherwise. The camera fell into the snow as he lost control of the magic.
“I told you!” Vassago grabbed Nina from Andrealphus’ now baby-mess-covered robes. “I told you she would be sick, but you said ‘nooo, Vassago, I know best.’ Eres un imbécil de mierda…”
Vassago’s voice trailed off as he used his magic to clean up a now sobbing Nina. Andrealphus took care of his own soiled robes while doing his best to ignore the burning in his eyes.
All he wanted was a grand portrait of his family, but he didn’t realize that was too much to ask. He had hundreds of portraits of himself, alone. Solo. A one-man act. It was stupid of him to think Vassago would find this as important as he did.
“Fine!” Andrealphus snarled instead of letting his true feelings emerge. “If you don’t care about this, then I guess I won’t care about it either! Let’s just go home.”
“Just hold on,” Vassago ordered. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, mi amor, just come here.” Then, in a softer voice, Vassago said, “Nina needs you.”
Andrealphus turned and looked through blurry eyes as Nina, no longer sobbing but tiredly hiccuping, reached out for him. Her unruly crest feathers were a mess, and her little face was flushed from the cold. She was perfectly adorable. How could he ever tell her no?
“Come here, my little snowstorm,” Andrealphus cooed as he took her. “Do you feel better after that truly overdramatic display?”
Nina yawned and snuggled against the crook of Andrealphus’ arm. In mere moments, she was sleeping contentedly.
“Silly girl,” Vassago teased as he got closer. “Conks out in freezing temperatures. Just like you.”
Andrealphus tsked but smiled down at her. “She was tired.”
“Yes, she was.” Vassago wrapped one arm around Andrealphus and the other pressed Nina’s back. “Seems like we weren’t listening to her demands for a nap.”
“Don’t lie,” Andrealphus sighed. “You were listening to her. I was the one being a… what is it you call me?”
“¿Pendejo?”
“Yes, that.” Andrealphus left a little kiss on her head. “Unwilling to compromise with the one person more stubborn than I am.”
“You aren’t the only one,” Vassago chuckled and kissed his cheek before looking down at their sleeping baby. “I think we are just a stubborn family, mi amor, but we are learning how to compromise together.”
There was a flash, and Andrealphus looked up to find the camera floating, except the magic wasn’t Vassago’s startling gold or Andrealphus’ icy blue, but instead a brilliant violet. Vassago called the camera to their side, and they looked at the photo the unfamiliar magic had taken.
“Yes, our little snowstorm,” Andrealphus chuckled. “That will be perfect in the foyer.”
Nina chirped in her sleep, because of course, she knew best.

Artwork by Spacefille.
