Chapter Text
Chapter 1. "I hate myself."
Silence.
She had always loved silence. But never before had it been this loud...
Twenty-three days had passed since that night. Twenty-three days since Enid Sinclair disappeared.
Not died.
Not vanished.
Not ran away.
She *disappeared*... as if the universe itself had erased her, leaving behind only pain.
On Wednesday’s desk lay dozens of maps. Old books about ancient werewolves were open on various pages, covered in her cold, perfectly even handwriting. The walls of the room were plastered with photographs, symbols, and threads connecting names, dates, and places.
In the center of the room stood a board. Written across it in large letters was: “ALPHA. PERSONALITY SWAP. IRREVERSIBLE?”
Beneath that word was another, like a verdict aimed at Wednesday herself: “LIE?”
Because Wednesday refused to believe it. She couldn’t. Not after she saw Enid’s face in that final moment. Not after her smile and her last words: “Everything will be okay.”
A lie. A damn stupid, sweet lie.
***
Wednesday had barely attended classes for almost a week.
When someone knocked on the door, she stayed silent. When they brought food, she didn’t open it. When Ajax tried to talk to her, she walked away. When Bianca said she needed to rest, she gave her a look that made the girl fall silent instantly.
She existed only for the search.
Sleep? Twenty minutes at most over two days.
Eat? Only if Agnes literally put a cup of coffee under her nose.
Live? No.
She was investigating a case more important than her own life.
***
“You found nothing again?”
Agnes placed another folder on the table. “Actually… I did.”
Wednesday’s head snapped up. “Where?”
“Not a location.”
Agnes slowly took off her jacket and tossed it onto Wednesday’s bed, which looked more like a junkyard at this point. Ironically, Enid’s favorite stuffed bear was even lying there.
“A trace.”
Wednesday was by her side almost instantly. “Show me.”
On the paper was a map. Several coordinates. A note beside them.
“Unusual wolf energy detected.”
“It was yesterday.”
“And?”
“When we arrived…” Agnes looked down. “There was nothing. Just residual energy again. It’s like she’s deliberately leading us into dead ends.”
Wednesday silently took the sheet and stared at it for a long time before placing it on top of the others. “Then we weren’t fast enough.”
“Wednesday—”
“Then we need to be faster.” She was already reaching for the next book.
Agnes noticed how her fingers trembled. Barely visible, but they were shaking. She had never seen Wednesday’s hands tremble before.
“You haven’t slept.”
Silence.
“You haven’t eaten.”
Silence.
“You haven’t been to class.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“No.”
“You won’t save Enid if you collapse yourself.”
Wednesday didn’t even look up. “Then I don’t have the right to collapse.”
***
Another three hours.
Another four books.
Dozens more legends.
And again—nothing.
Everything came down to the same thing.
“When an alpha willingly gives up their human essence…” The rest of the page had been torn out.
She had already found four identical books. In every single one, the same chapter was missing. As if someone had deliberately erased any information.
***
Evening fell. The room grew even darker. The candles had burned out. Rain poured outside the window. Wednesday was rereading the same page again.
“It is impossible to return.”
Impossible.
Impossible.
IMPOSSIBLE.
She slammed the book shut so hard the spine cracked.
“Wednesday…” Agnes looked up.
“No.”
“Listen…”
“No.”
She opened another book. The same phrase: “There is no way…”
Next. “The human soul…”
Next. “Irreversibly…”
Next. “The price…”
*Thud.* Another. And another. And another.
Books flew to the floor one after another. A chair crashed against the wall. Pencils scattered. Ink spilled over the maps. With one swift motion, Wednesday tore down everything from the walls. Threads snapped. Photographs rained down.
“WEDNESDAY!”
She didn’t seem to hear. She tore another map. Then a second. Then an entire folder. Papers swirled through the room.
“ALL OF THIS…” Her voice broke. She was breathing heavily. “ALL OF THIS…”
Sheets fell at her feet.
“IS FUCKING POINTLESS!”
She slammed her fist on the desk. Wood cracked.
For the first time, Agnes was scared. Not of the anger—but of the despair. Because standing in front of her wasn’t the cold, calculating Wednesday Addams. It was a person slowly breaking apart.
“This is all…” Her voice grew quieter. Barely a whisper. “Because of me.”
Agnes took a step forward. “No.”
“Because of me.”
Another step.
“She made the choice herself.”
“Because she was saving *me*!” Her voice finally cracked. For the first time in many weeks, she raised it. “If I hadn’t been there…” Silence. “If I had been stronger…” She stared through the walls. “If I had realized sooner…” Her lips trembled. “If only…” The words ran out. Only ragged breathing remained.
Heavy.
Broken.
And then… the first tear.
Wednesday didn’t even notice it. She just kept staring into emptiness. “I didn’t make it in time.”
A second.
A third.
Agnes carefully stepped closer. “We can still find her.”
“No…”
“We can.”
“No.”
“We don’t know everything.”
“I know enough.”
“There are things that aren’t in books.”
“No.”
“There are.”
Wednesday slowly turned her head. Her eyes were red. Filled with rage.
But not at Agnes.
At herself.
“She saved me,” she whispered. “And I…” Silence. “I can’t even find her.”
Agnes gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll find a way.”
“No.”
“We will.”
Wednesday slowly closed her eyes. Another tear rolled down her cheek. She had never cried in front of anyone before.
Never.
And that frightened Agnes more than anything. Because Wednesday’s tears weren’t weakness. They were the final stage of despair—when a person could no longer contain the pain inside.
Wednesday opened her eyes. The usual coldness was gone. There was only bottomless hatred. Toward herself.
Her voice was barely audible. “I hate myself.”
The room froze. Even the rain outside seemed to quiet.
Agnes felt her heart clench painfully. She never thought she would hear those words from Wednesday Addams—the girl who always seemed unbreakable.
“Look at me.”
Wednesday didn’t move.
“Look.”
After several long seconds, their eyes met.
“If Enid sacrificed herself, it means she believed you wouldn’t give up.”
Wednesday stayed silent.
“If you give up now, her sacrifice really will have been in vain.”
Those words seemed to hit their mark.
Wednesday slowly shifted her gaze to the torn papers covering the floor.
To the books.
To the map.
To the threads.
She took a deep breath. Then she knelt and began silently gathering the scraps of paper. Her fingers still trembled. But her eyes gradually changed.
The despair didn’t disappear. It simply transformed.
It became cold.
Focused.
“If the books say it’s impossible to bring her back…” Wednesday said quietly.
Agnes watched her, lips pressed together. She wanted to help, but all the reports about Enid’s sightings remained vague.
“…then the books are lying.”
At that moment, lightning flashed outside the window.
***
And in that same moment, deep in the dark forest far beyond the academy, a pair of golden wolf eyes opened for a brief second — as if someone who had lost her name could still feel that they were being searched for.