Work Text:
Dear Louis,
When I first encountered you in the park
When you first arrived in Paris, I could sense
I show myself now, after two years
When we
I will not harm you.
Those were the first words I said to you. You were I was drawn to you— your mind and the desire to be one with them, blend in with humanity. Like the layman being a layman sneaking around in a park under the blinking lamp post was a living to be desired. In that moment, I knew I wanted you more than anything in the world.
To have you, Louis, was a desire so great that the coven, my art, and all of Paris, became secondary, obsolete even, when you showed once again, your humanity and grace towards me the night of the fire. I imagined it, waiting, underneath the lamp post where those first I promised you what I could not keep, how it would feel for the smoke to fill my lungs and the searing pain to spread through my body.
I did not deserve your kindness then, but I received it nonetheless. It became my purpose, my air, and a craving so strong, I could taste your blood on my tongue just as you tasted mine, just as we tasted each other for 77 years. Losing it all— your kindness, your blood, and my purpose. I could not allow it. I gave you all of myself, gave you my blood as you healed your burns, as you called for your maker.
And it has always been your kindness that blinded me that I leveraged. Always your kindness that has caused you The pain I caused, the scars deep within, cannot be healed even if you took all of my blood. And for that, I have the deepest regret.
I will not harm you, I said to you, empty as a promise, because you were right— I am was a boy, disguised as a gentleman.
Yours, Sincerely,
Best regards, Armand
Sincerely,
Aru
Armand Arun