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"I'm going back tomorrow," says Sasuke, prodding at the fireplace set in the centre of the floor. Naruto wiggles his toes and shivers on the other side of it as the glow of the embers fades again.
"Back to Orochimaru?"
"Back to Sound."
"Back to Orochimaru."
Sasuke takes a deep breath.
"Yes."
Eyes trained on the coals, he can hear Naruto shuffling unhappily. He's months, if not weeks away from being named Hokage, and he still telegraphs everything. It's almost worrisome.
The silence stretches thin.
"I just wish you'd come home," Naruto snaps.
"Sound is my home," Sasuke says, calmly. Naruto doesn't say anything, so he continues. "Why would you expect me to abandon something I've worked so hard all these years to build?"
Naruto flinches, but stays silent. Sasuke knows what he wants to say, because he's said it before. Just join up with the Leaf. We'd love to help you with the war orphans. We have more resources, and what you do for them obviously works, we'd love to take your ideas on board.
I know Konoha is flawed. I want to fix it. I want your help.
When Naruto speaks, his voice is very low. "It's what you're asking me to do."
Well, that's a new one. "It's not. I always come see you when you call. And you always come when I do." He won't say I'm not abandoning you, because he knows words like that don't really stick in Naruto's heart. Besides, Sasuke is responsible for other things that have to come first. He can't be frivolous with promises.
Naruto looks miserable. "I know."
Seeing his face, Sasuke suddenly hurts with the desire to make him understand. He finds himself speaking, softly, before he can really think.
"When I needed it most, he gave me what I needed, something that nobody else would." The words burn on their way out, but they won't stop. "It made me who I am today, and I'm not ashamed of who I am, whether or not you're happy about it--"
"--It was never about whether I was happy," says Naruto, voice thick. Sasuke closes his mouth and stares out the window. Snow is falling in thick drifting clumps. Botan-yuki, he hears Itachi say. Like the flowers. Put on your scarf, Sasuke.
"I know," he says, eventually.
Naruto's tears are warm on his neck that night as they curl up like brothers, but they don't change a thing, and never have.
There's a little toddler with bright red hair peering around the edge of the doorway. She had been turned in as an infant without even a name. Sasuke thinks she might be an Uzumaki--he has found a few, over the years--but he's not sure yet.
Orochimaru is peering at her from his cot in the corner, smiling indulgently.
"Come in, dear."
Her face goes a bright shiny pink and she runs over to him.
Sasuke tries to focus on the bookwork he's been doing for the past two hours, but he finds his attention drifting over to the story Orochimaru is telling her.
"That is why, princess, you are an Uchiha. It's very special, and you are very special. One day you might spread your wings and have your own adventures too, but we are your family and we will always be here for you."
It's over the top and saccharine. He can feel Orochimaru grinning annoyingly behind him.
"Make sure she's got her socks on, the floor is cold," says Sasuke, going back to the books.
Back then, he'd said, we do this my way. And they had. There had been struggles. But how do we know if they have innate abilities, Orochimaru had said. What if they have bloodline traits? We should find out.
Orochimaru had said, what if we are attacked? We should be training them harder.
Orochimaru had said, I know just the drug that could help this one.
Sasuke said, we do this my way.
There was useful advice to be heard from someone who had headed a powerful mercenary village in the past. But this Sound was Sasuke's village, and Sasuke had always been a man who lived by his convictions.
"Are you happy?" Orochimaru asks. His voice is thick and heavy and Sasuke lets it seep into his bones.
"Yeah."
They both know it's not that simple. What Orochimaru means is, are you content?
Yes. He is content, and that's the truth.
Orochimaru strokes his cheekbones and licks Sasuke's eyelid. Sasuke pushes him down.
Orochimaru's kisses are still strange sometimes. When oily suede lips open under his, when that tongue twists inside his mouth, it can still throw him off guard. It only ever makes him fiercer, once he has his balance. Orochimaru seems to like that.
Tangling and twisting together under the sheets sets this weightless feeling inside Sasuke's chest. It's a lot like the feeling of holding something deadly by the neck.
He pushes those long pale thighs apart and it's so easy. He sinks in and it's smooth and slick and dark. There's a mouth on his neck and he flinches violently. Orochimaru only lays a small kiss there. It makes Sasuke shudder and growl.
He wants to bite and hurt and tear, some days. But he can never make this rough, Orochimaru flows and bends around him, accommodates him, makes it so so easy all Sasuke can do is try not to sob as he lets go.
"He loves you," says Orochimaru, running his fingers through Sasuke's hair.
It's quiet. Above them are many feet of snow, but it's warm.
"He thinks he does."
"Is there a difference?"
"You can never really love what you don't understand."
Orochimaru hums. Sasuke's eyes drift closed.
He remembers being a child, dizzy with fatigue and sick with chemicals and feeling rotten to his soul, and letting Orochimaru press a hand to his forehead like his mother would have.
"You're wrong, Sasuke."
Tomorrow he needs to organise a deal with a new supplier. He's heard of a business run by widows who knit on commission. He needs to catch up with one of the teachers who requested to see him about handling a particular child. Some of the older kids are ready to become genin, their exam will need to be organised.
"There are people who won't always understand you, but will want you to be happy. That's also love."
"What the hell would you know about it," Sasuke mutters, starting to fall asleep. Orochimaru just smiles and strokes his hair until he drifts off.
The sky is washed out and pale, but the new grass is shining clean and the cherry blossoms are bright pink knots on the wet black branches. Naruto is standing under one of the trees. The way his face lights up when he sees Sasuke is cute in a stupid way.
"Hey!"
"Hey. I see despite your utter lack of self-preservation skills you managed to survive another winter."
"Pfff, I could say the same thing for you, except you'd be used to the cold, you live with a constant icicle up your ass."
Sasuke doesn't dignify that with an answer.
"A-ny-way," Naruto charges on, "what did you want to do? Spar? Go eat? It's a bit early to drink, but then again, the cherry blossoms are out!"
"Let's go eat," says Sasuke. "There's some stuff I wanted to talk to you about."
"Yeah, there's something I want to tell you too." Naruto is almost glowing, he looks so happy. Sasuke is pretty certain he knows what news Naruto is going to share.
Inside his pocket is a draft of an agreement. Orochimaru had said that while he agreed a merge would be a weak move, there was no reason why the two villages couldn't have a formal alliance, and he was right. Really, a tie with the Leaf would only be an asset to everything he is trying to protect.
Sometimes Sasuke feels too old to move, and sometimes he feels like a stupid little child. Right now, walking down this country path in the sunshine, he feels neither of those things. He feels powerful and at peace, and he is looking forward to the moment he gets to see it dawn on Naruto's face, too. That might be frivolous. It doesn't matter. Finally, he feels like perhaps he doesn't have to stay so unbending. He knows who is family.
