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"Why am I doing this exactly?" Foolish questions. They are in his lab after Juan came up to him demanding they do science to save the North early in the morning. He has barely slept after spending all night building the temple so he is not working at his hundred, but he knows Juan has been anxious and not sleeping at all, and if putting up a lab coat makes him relax, so be it.
It doesn't mean he is not a little bit cranky about it.
Juan fidgets with the bottoms of one of the machines by his side, he swats his hand to stop him and Juan hits him back, "We are doing this so I can seduce Multi into letting me into the reactor."
Only the idea of a man without sleeping could come up with, but Foolish still keeps mixing the colored liquids, the glass bottle he holds turns into a light shade of pink before turning clear, "And why don't we send Tina to do it?"
"Tina has the grace of a blind bull inside a china store."
"Is the store in China or does it sell Chinese stuff?"
"Of course the store is in China," Juan says sarcastically, "Are you an idiot?! It means that she is graceless, stupid!"
"Well this plan is as stupid as you are!" He changes the temperature and little crystals start to form inside the flask, the both leave an amazed 'wow', when Juan remembers he just insulted him.
"So it's not stupid!"
"It is!"
"It is not"
"It is! Multi clearly has a thing for either creatures or men." He has seen Multi's fascination towards the Federation's monsters and how his eyes glint with joy when the totem reveals something of his nature, and yeah, he also saw him checking out Aldo once but he knows better that say anything about that if he doesn't want to end up radiated.
"Didn't he have a weird relationship with Quackity?" They both shiver. Foolish remembers when they were following the duck-hybrid the other day because he was acting more suspicious than normal and saw him and the scientists reunite far away in the woods, whatever they have is not sane, but at least is consensual.
"See? He checks both boxes."
He signals Juan to pass him the pipet and all he does is put it farther away with a smirk. "Whatever, I don't care. You make me a hot woman and with my splendid personality I'll charm Multi, it won't matter if he likes Quackity, he surely will fall for me." Juan rests his head on his hands trying to look cutesy. If his cheeks get a little red when Juan throws him a wink is no one's business but his.
He sighs and extends over the table to grab the pipet, pushing Juan out of the way, who moves right back to his side, "While giving you boobs won't be hard, making you hot sure will."
"What the fuck? Are you calling me ugly?"
He watches him carefully. Juan is still wearing pajamas, not ready to face the day yet. He is using an old t-shirt that's big on him, probably Roier's for the spider print on it. His smaller frame makes him look delicate, with big brown eyes, 'Bambi eyes' as Tina would call them, hidden behind his thick glasses and rosy lips. He is not wearing his usual bandana, his hair a mess for turning all night in bed and he holds back the impulse of running his hands through it to feel how soft it feels. Juan is cute, in a way that he could only admit in the privacy of his own mind at the crack of dawn and will deny it when he gets his nine hours of rest. "Well..." That's all he can say, self preserving instincts still running high.
Juan is obviously offended, he hits him right on the chest, "Just so you know, I'm the sexiest man on this island, no, on this earth, no, on the universe! You are just such a monster that you cannot see beauty even if it hits you on the face."
"Yeah man, I don't see it." He grumbles, not giving into Juan's game or he will accidentally say what's on his mind, so he returns his focus to the mixture. The crystals are now dissolving and the liquid is turning purple, too much of the wrong sex he guesses.
"Fuck you." Juan pushes him again, almost making drop the flask.
"Don't push me! I'm mixing important stuff." He keeps going, adding the pure pink one drop by drop until it finally turns the right shade of pink.
"Mimimimimi" Juan pushes him once more.
"Juan stop."
Juan doesn't stop, in fact, he pushes him harder until he spills all the content of the bottle on the floor. He shoves Juan out of the way on instinct, all the fumes getting only to him. A cloud of smoke forms around him, he cannot see anything but hears Juan's worry shouts. "What happened? Are you okay? Did you die?"
"I'm okay, it spilled on me a little" He coughs until the air clears. It's quiet for a second, Juan stands a few meters away, scanning him with his sight, clearly looking for something wrong with him, or probably the boobs.
"You are a terrible scientist, you look the same."
"What?"
"Yeah, you got no big boobs, no big ass, it must've failed."
Foolish touches his own chest. It feels weird, he feels weird in general, like something is missing, "Nah man, these definitely feel different."
"Pervert! Why are you groping yourself like that?" Juan is red like a tomato, hiding his eyes behind his hands like a prude.
"Because the potion didn't fail, it did change my sex."
"It didn't."
"It did."
"I don't see it."
"Because you are blind as a mole."
"Fuck you."
"No, fuck you."
A second passes, "Wait."
"What?" He is annoyed, he shouldn't be awake at this hour and now he has to figure out a way to get his dick back, but he has to deal with Juan first, who still looks at him like there is nothing out of the ordinary.
"I see it now, your hair is longer."
"Really?"
"No." For Juan, Foolish looks exactly the same. Foolish is the same height that towers over him when he wants to prove a point, the same wide back that covers him when they are in danger, the same voice that gives him goosebumps in the morning when he just woke up. The same big hands that can cover all of his waist and the claws that can leave marks behind in his skin, not that has thought about it. His tan skin that glistens with the sun and the same shade of green that light up when he sees a new block he can use. Nothing has changed.
"What can I do to prove it?"
"Show me your penis." Juan regrets it the instant it left his mouth. Foolish looks at him in disbelief.
"Even if I had a penis right now, you know it doesn't work like that."
"Right, it's so tiny it's almost like it isn't there."
"It's not tiny."
"It is."
"It is not."
"It literally is, I already saw it." Months ago while playing doctors he got a peak at Foolish's dick. He must be lying if says that he has tried to forget what he saw that day, he is nothing but a man after all.
"You did uh."
"Yes." Foolish looks smug at the fact, weirdo.
"So you are kinda of a penis expert."
"I'm not a penis expert."
"A penis connaisseur."
"Stop."
"They call you 'Juan, the penis knower'"
"You are dumb." They giggle at the absurdity of the situation, there's still residue of the potion on the floor and the table is a mess, but it's still both early and late enough to not care about it. "You are still a man though."
Foolish, already tired, walks towards him and grabs Juan's hands and puts them on his chest. His pecs are softer, not feeling like usual, almost like...
"You do have boobs."
"See?" Juan drops his hands and looks closely at his chest, like trying to figure out a puzzle.
"But they are the same size? Weren't you working on giving me big boobs?"
"I was! I guess my boobs are naturally big." Juan hits him once on his arms and then rests his head on his chest. He hesitates to cover him in his arms, but when hugs him he hears Juan leave a sigh of relief and sag a little bit. They are both tired after long weeks of stress and maybe they can have a little moment for themselves.
"I hate you"
"You don't." He tries to keep the fondness out of his voice in check in bane, yet Juan doesn't seem to notice as he hides further on his chest.
"I don't." He is not shocked that Juan doesn't hate him, but he is surprised that he admitted to it out loud. He wonders if he would repeat after resting.
They stay in place for a few minutes. Thinking that Juan is asleep, he bends his knees to lift him up and carry him to bed, but the shorter guy complains at the movement and he stops. "What now? Do I have to go and seduce Multi instead of you?"
"Oh, definitely."