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It was a strange feeling, doing anything normal or mundane as the world teetered on the brink of the abyss. It was the first night of the Sixth Astral Moon, somewhere between autumn and winter, and the Scions had just learned the Source and its remaining shards were close to forceful, catastrophic reunification. The barriers between shards were cracking open, and the stars would bleed into each other until they collided to form one once again.
On that fateful chilly night, Elayne sat on a bench on the balcony of the Rising Stones, taking in the stars in silence. Her husband Erenville was stretched out on the bench with his head in her lap, face against her stomach, as she scratched his hair, the deft movement of her nails lulling him to sleep. She didn’t know the next time the couple would have a chance for a moment like this, with all the work they would soon have ahead of them.
She heard the door open, and she looked up to see Alisaie come on the balcony. She had grown in the past year, the first of the twins to do so, much to her brother’s chagrin. In her arms was little Lubov, Thancred and Urianger’s newly adopted daughter. The ten-month-old clung to Alisaie with a touching ferocity, surprising given they had met only recently; but then, Alisaie had always had a way with children. Little Lu was just the latest to fall under her spell.
“Let me guess, her dads fell asleep on the sofa?” Elayne joked as she approached.
“Urianger tried to put her down for the night, but she threw a fit, so I offered to take her. Last I saw before I came up, he was passed out. Poor thing needs the rest,” Alisaie noted, swaying back and forth to lull Lu to sleep.
“You giving Renni shit, Lu?” Elayne asked.
“Anta!” Lu babbled, very much still awake.
“Do you see Auntie, Lu?” Alisaie cooed.
“Yeah!” Lu cried happily.
“Has she tried to grab that new nose ring yet? I can’t ever wear mine with Sisi, she’d try to grab them every time I had her.”
“She’s tried, but I’ve kept her at bay so far.” It was jarring for almost everyone to hear Alisaie ask Elayne for a nose piercing, though in reality she had been asking for it and tattoos for years. She’d given her the piercing; the tattoos would wait for when she stopped growing. She sat down beside Elayne, fished around in her pocket, and pulled out a ribbon.
“Could you do my hair for me?” Alisaie asked. “My hands are a bit full at the moment.”
“Give it enough time, and I won’t be able to do this for you anymore, tiger. By the Mother of Witches, you’re already taller than me now.” But Elayne took the ribbon without complaint, motioned for her to turn around, and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. When she tied the ribbon in place, Alisaie flashed her a grateful smile, then gazed up at the stars with her. Despite being acutely aware of the small child in her arms and her breath coming out in clouds, she couldn’t shake a certain question from her mind, one that had been gnawing at her since Halmarut told them of the Solstice.
“How do you do it?”
Elayne glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. “Hm?”
“How do you save the land, the world, the shards – the very universe – so many times, and resume a normal life like it’s nothing?” Alisaie asked.
Elayne sighed heavily. “It took me a long time to get to that point, tiger. The trick is identifying what constitutes ‘normal life,’ in your eyes.” She cracked her neck and resumed scratching Erenville’s head. “Why do you ask?”
“Just…in the three years since we defeated the Endsinger, so much has changed,” Alisaie observed. “You and Erenville just married; Estinien and Aymeric aren’t far behind you; the other two Stooges –” Elayne snorted. “— have a baby to care for; you’re an aunt to both her and Artoirel’s daughter; and Lamaty’i and Sphene just started dating. So many of us have homes and families and lives to return to, how do we just drop what we’re doing to save the world, then go back to our normal lives like nothing changed?”
“You seriously think we don’t change after all that? I got some news for you, kiddo – we do. We always do,” Elayne told her. “Some are big and in your face, and some are so subtle you don’t notice until you stop and wonder why it’s different. The first and worst thing that changes is the realization of your own mortality. Yours, and those around you. You can die, and if the fates aren’t kind, you probably will. You start planning things to make sure nothing goes awry if you do. Write up a will, spend quality time with your family and friends, put someone in charge of your home and possessions, settle your debts, tie up loose ends. None of that will follow you into the afterlife, but it will follow the ones you leave behind. Best to lighten their load while you can.
“The second thing that changes is the realization of how quick things can end in destruction. You can spend twenty years building the perfect garden, only for it to vanish in a fire. It can be there one day and gone the next. So you build walls. Set a watch. Put up protection wards. That way, there’s not as much chance of losing everything you’ve worked for.
“The final thing is the realization that what happens on that journey may stay with you well after it’s over,” Elayne added, and her serious expression sent chills down Alisaie’s spine. “Some wounds do not heal. It’s been nearly five years since Aymeric was imprisoned in the Vault, and he is still suffering from PTSD. Estinien is very sympathetic to anyone who has been possessed. Alphinaud avoids positions of authority like the plague, and he used to freeze up whenever I was angry. Thancred and Urianger are still haunted by Minfilia and Moenbryda. And I obviously don’t need to tell you about me.”
“So that’s your answer…” Alisaie whispered.
“You want to know how to go back to normal life? Define what normal life is,” Elayne advised. “Do you have a home? Do you have a job? Do you have any pets? What do you do every day that you wouldn’t feel right if you didn’t do? I know you got a girlfriend, you and Felicie can’t fool me…”
“How did you know about that?” Alisaie demanded.
“I have eyes in the back of my head, tiger,” Elayne replied flatly. “And how do you save the world? Simple. The doing is only half of it. Understand what you leave behind, understand what is at stake and what you fight for…and understand that you may never return. Once you have that down, it’s much easier than you think.”
Alisaie stared at her, then looked down at Lu, who grabbed the buttons on her shirt with not a care in the world, oblivious to everything.
“...And we have to do everything all over again?” she asked.
Elayne nodded grimly. “That’s how it is. And nobody else is as good at what we do as us.”
“How can you say that when you know full well that if we were in a similar situation to Amaurot, you would not be sacrificing yourself?” Alisaie said incredulously.
“I know I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for the world…but for my husband or my niece? I’d do it in a heartbeat,” Elayne pointed out. “Saving the world just happens to be a side effect of saving them.”
Alisaie went quiet at that. She was lost in thought as all the many faces she had encountered and loved over the course of her life came to the forefront of her mind. Her parents. Her brother. Her grandfather. The Scions. Ga Bu. Tesleen. Halric. Jullus. Some who still stood with her. Some who were now lost.
“...That bastard Calyx paid me a visit up here earlier,” Elayne confessed.
“Are you serious? What did he say?!” Alisaie demanded.
“According to him, one of his Winterer colleagues – someone even worse than him, which, believe me, is no small accomplishment – has nefarious designs on the Fourth, which has been inundated with a never-ending ice age.”
“First light, then darkness, then levin…how will we fare with endless rime, I wonder…”
“Eh, it’s just another Watersday for me,” Elayne remarked dismissively.
Alisaie snorted and laughed. “That is true. What is new about ice ages to one such as you?...So, our next course is to find some way to get to the Fourth, then?”
Elayne nodded.
“Do you…think we’ll make it back?” Alisaie whispered.
“We’ll make it back. I don’t intend on making Eren and Aymeric widowers, or Lu an orphan. Felicie will not be left without you, either. I swore once I would be home when my niece entered the world, no matter what it took, and I kept that promise. And I’ll swear the same oath to you. On my ashes, we will all save the world and make it back home. Don’t you worry about that.”
Alisaie finally released the breath she had been holding in. Elayne’s confidence was infectious – already she felt more sure of herself and their course. She sat there, gently rocking Lu, who had finally fallen asleep, as she thought about their next course of action.
“...What do we do now?” she wondered.
“All we can do for now is prepare. Do what needs to be done. Take care of anything that needs to be taken care of.”
“Tie up loose ends.”
“Exactly.” Elayne leaned back and gazed down at her husband’s sleeping face. “I for one promised Aymeric I’d be at his wedding, and I’m not about to break that promise. I hope nothing about this changes his plans, but…his groom might not be around soon, so there’s a chance he’ll have to move it up. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Will Erenville be alright?”
“He has faith in us and our mission. That’s all I need to hear.” She bent down to kiss him; his lips twitched slightly in his sleep.
Alisaie cocked her head as silence settled over them again, mentally cataloguing everything she needed to do before they set off for the Fourth. The top item on her list: tell Felicie she loved her…