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Aiden hadn't spent much time with James’ family, admittedly. But apparently, to them, he was a close enough person to their busy son for a replacement whenever he couldn't attend to family matters.
Sitting on the wooden floor, hours into carefully organizing family photos until the sky turned a beautiful, admirable pinky-orangie hue. To be honest, everyone hadn't noticed the sky, it was the reflection onto the floor that all their deep sorting work had been piled up on shook it into them, although none of them paid much mind to it.
That was because of many, and he means many, loose photos were scattered in many boxes. It had them locked on their task of getting their cherished photos into stacked piles based on when they were taken.
Aiden grabbed the cardboard cutter that has been his helper all day. The knife twisted to the weakened middle of the box, pointed and ready to cut. Held in the box, there were an abundance of small pocket photos that weren't exactly of their family, it only made him confused. But the sound of laughter bounced Aiden out of thought.
From the corner of his eye, he can see Ravi tapping Valentina, whose reaction looked rather sentimental since her hands were clutching her heart. Carla eventually joined her parents, but she experienced a playful reaction that differed from her parents.
Aiden could see, in Ravi’s hands, a thin photo was held between his thumbs. Something drew him towards that photo, maybe it was his recent noisiness piping up.
With only a clink, the box cutter returned to its resting position. “May I see?” Aiden asked.
Aiden cautiously took the photo into his hand, then stared at it for a moment.
“I don't get it?”
“You really don't?” Carla teased.
Perhaps he missed something, anything could have rolled off of his mind. Although, the more he stared, the less he started to make sense of the photo. But Aiden was no quitter, so his focus remained on the photo.
Someone, who he couldn't recognize, was the only one in the photo. They seemed pretty visibly awkward. It looked as if they were attempting to keep their excitement at bay. A toothy smile, one that was taken over with braces, made the photo more lively. Their glasses stuck to their faces with their eyes struggling to keep attention to the camera.
But what really stood out from the rest was a phenomenal marching band uniform. The uniform, which was dyed green, yellow, black, and white, had an attached cape with a curved hat that fitted the person's head.
In their gloved hands, a golden instrument contrasted with a shine that blasted from the camera. It was an instrument Aiden could not name, despite the band being a part of a dorky family with theater and chorus, both classes Aiden shined in.
Tilting his head, he replied: “Nope.”
“It's James!” Spoke Carla. She gave a teasing punch, although it didn't hurt at all.
Both Ravi and Valentina shared a laugh.
“Really?” Aiden chuckled confused. “He never mentioned that.”
Carla let out a sigh. “He never mentions it.”
With a sudden head turn, Ravi broke the unspoken rule that surrounded James's past. His commitment to keeping his son's perception of his school years, which were simply defective. “We think he's embarrassed of it”
“Dad?!”
“Sorry” Ravi physically flinched, guilt seeping in. A hand covered his mouth, and honestly it belonged to himself.
“Oh, he used to be such a talented player, willing to pick up all types of instruments: the bassoon, drums, look at him with his little alto saxophone!” Valentina leaned over, her index finger circling the shiny gold instrument in the photo.
“Thats what that is?” Aiden awkwardly smiled once again, aware of how musical this family was. He rested his cheek upon his palms. “I don't get why he would just… quit on this? This is so cool!” He said, pretty confused.
“Well,” Carla started, tapping her foot along the wooden floor, “I think as he got more.. involved on the internet, his interest for everything else died.” Carla squinted her eyes, a different version of Carla, more anxious than her usual sassy, loyal self.
“Of course don't tell James I told you this….” Carla had a weak smile, sunk back into the wall. A hand rested on her chin.
He once again looks back to the photo. Glancing at the photo and thinking of James and then comparing him back to the photo, there's really not that much you can deem close between the two. Only their hair, skin tone, and eyes. Apart from that, they don't even look familiar at best.
Carla’s parents already left the photos aside for another, at this point. Carla eyed them, as if planning to follow them to help prepare dinner.
She looked so displeased with herself. Carla never went silent like this, commonly she would be seen around the house teasing her brother or heard from the gradage chatting with her friends.
Privacy was clearly something she valued. Now, when it came to Aiden accidentally discovering a vulnerable secret for the family that was meant to be kept between them until someone, hopefully James, was to talk about it, she had such shame with herself. It didn't seem fair for her to dwell on this, and maybe Aiden shouldn't have asked when he thought he was making playful banter. Carla treated James like any other of her friends, with respect and targeted silly banter. She probably didn't expect the conversation to get so personal.
James has mentioned in the past, in his and Aiden's most vulnerable moments, how he had no energy for anything other than social media and slowly opened up about his regrets, although he never specified what he gave up.
Aiden always figured it was for photography, something James never had to say out loud he liked, Aiden just assumed by how much James knew about cameras and editing. But he at least knew it was a hobby that didn't give James the same attention, the thrill, that the toxicity of the internet provided him at the time.
“Hey. ” Aiden broke the awkward silence.
Carla’s eyes darted towards Aiden, slightly startled by being shaken out of her guilty trance. He could tell she was paying attention.
“So I have an idea.”
“Spill”
While hugging his knees, Aiden replied. “Ah well, for James' birthday, I think it would be nice to get him an instrument so he could get back into it. I mean, he mentioned to me that he regrets quitting some stuff in the past,” and then he stopped.” And I was hoping you could tag along since I can't really shop for this kind of stuff.”
Carla’s face softens, the stress not fully departing from her features, but her overall appearance seemed like her thoughts were easing. “Sure, whatever,” she chuckled, “Shopping with you can't be that bad”
—------------------------------------------------
The day before James’s birthday came faster than both of them expected. They loaded themselves into Carla’s car early in the morning, before anyone else was awake.
Chaotic. The entire day was chaotic. They decided to plan a trip to the local mall, which then the entire city decides to do the same. Crowds of people flooded the mall early in the morning. They knew it wouldn't be an inactive day, but this was just ridiculous, or at least Aiden was pretty irked about the whole thing, as much as he tried to hide it.
And honestly, that wasn't even the worst part. After making their way past heated crowds, an ambition coloring their golden thoughts, they just finally made it to the music department. But… that was just to find out they were too late for their pick up. Carla and Aiden were both rightfully upset, even though there wasn't much they could do to change this store's mind.
Sat in the corner, Aiden stressed over the whole situation while attempting to keep himself composed in public, and especially in front of Carla. He sometimes found it hard to do that, thinking of how stupid he looked after desperately trying to change things with the employee. Aiden’s been working on trying to contact the store to hopefully have a second chance. Aiden truly wanted this to be a good gift for James.
Then he heard a voice.
“Aiden”
Carla stood in front of him, twirling her keys around her finger. “Come on. Let's head to another store.”
“Huh?” And then it registered in.
“Wait no! I can contact them, I can ask them again, just wait a little longer! I'm sure they'll come around!” Aiden replied, flipping his phone around to show Carla the email he had just sent.
Squinting her eyes to read the email, she nodded, but not too long after she held her out for Aiden to take. “Theres a store across the road, and I bought some of my stuff there, as well, I'm sure James will feel just as charmed whether the drum kit is from this store or that store.” Carla chuckled, but he could tell it was a suggestion.
Hesitantly, Aiden grabbed her hand to be helped up. He looked back behind at the store and decided to take a painful leap, letting go.
—------------------------------------------------
“Good morning!” Aiden cheers, slipping his arms that were previously holding James to clap quite enough for just them to hear. He leaned on his elbow, not up, but also not laying down so he could get a look at his boyfriend. James, who just woke up from the sun fluttering through the blinds, suddenly felt more confident in his energy after hearing the claps of his boyfriend.
James managed to both laugh and yawn at once. “Good morning to you as well, sunshine,” he said, pretty knowing of the tone in Aiden’s voice, a tone that made him feel appreciated, especially on a day like this.
Before, James didn't even bother looking forward to his birthday because of how little people had treasured it as a day. When he had people tell him happy birthday, usually it was the class mumbling a happy birthday song, which felt like a forever battle with his eyes not to stare at anyone else. Sometimes, he could swear they paused when getting to his name in the song. They simply didn't know him enough to remember.
He could never enjoy it because deep down, he was certain they weren't going to talk to him after this, wish him a happy birthday, or look him in the eye without feeling awkward. The same day, he would be sitting alone on a buddy bench, waiting for someone to talk to him, or embarrassedly eating with his elementary school teacher.
And when he got home, the only people there would be him and Carla. On their birthdays, for years, they were met with a cake and their gift. That was a huge stab wound, topping everything else he was feeling from the day.
His parents worked constantly, and he knew now they were sorry, but then he just really needed the extra time on his special day to feel cared for, not a pat or kiss on the forehead when he was already asleep.
Those days were far from now.
“You're 28.” Aiden teased his new age, softly tapping James with a wink.
James laughed in response, the age feeling a bit too unreal. “Oh god, don't remind me.” He tapped Aiden back, matching his gentle approach.
Aiden smirked. “You know Carla isn't going to let you down for this?”
Imagining the future nagging, James covered his face. “Believe me, every year she pulls this.”
Yet, every year his reaction is more and more intense.
They talked for a moment. Their morning sleepiness casted a haze upon their words that made them feel cornier and waaaaay more foolish than their energized self. But in the midst of their talk, a delightful smell cluttered their nostrils.
Leaning up and stretching, Aiden turned to James. “I don't know about you, but I'm pretty damn hungry.”
James, figuring he should get up as well, followed Aiden's actions.
Together, they cleaned their teeth, flossing and brushing. Combing through their hair together like they do every morning. They, with all the other shenanigans, admittedly splashing each other while washing their faces.
But also with one another, both of them walk into the kitchen, where the delicious smell is coming from. What’s for breakfast? They don't know.
Carla scares, quickly swinging herself in front of the couple.“You're creeping closer to 30!”
Taken back, both are startled for different reasons. Carla managed to shake Aiden up with her sudden appetite, but with James, using his aging was enough to creep him out. It's been a fear ever since he turned 14.
Breakfast was beyond good, perfect even. It was buttery, sweet and salty, and the texture made everyone sitting down slip a few tears from their eyes.
While eating, James's family shared tons of embarrassing childhood stories he'd preferred to never get and not a soul hear. Or rather he would've been just fine living the rest of his life not recalling the memories they reminded him of.
Buzz
Buzzz
Buzzzzz
James' phone vibrates every second, making him feel more popular than he already was. Reviving a tiktok notification or a call every second was honestly disturbing the peaceful breakfast.
He made sure to answer every. single. alert.
Aiden parents? Answered.
Lake, Sodia and Rosa? Answered.
JamesCostaGlazer118? Replied!!!
“Um, James,” Ravi waved, hoping to get her son's attention. After a couple minutes, James glances away from his phone, only to be met with the stares of Aiden and his family. This wasn't an uncommon situation with James, in-fact, it's surprising if James doesn't get distracted by his phone at least once every other day.
James smiles awkwardly. “Oops, " he mutters, “sorry Dad!” He quickly slips his yellow phone into his pajama pants pocket.
Ready to listen, he stares at his family (plus Aiden) to catch up to what was being shared between their conversations. “Go on,” he said. James’ hands rested on the table, soothing his fingers tips over the wood. He'd leaned over the table with full focus.
“You didn't miss much, we were just talking about you” Carla informed.
She made her way out of the chair, receiving a purple blindfold from the kitchen counter that must have been hidden away for this exact moment. “Ready to see-” she paused. “Well, ready to be guided to your gift!”
James was more scared than excited, truthfully, mostly the idea of being blind folded made him a bit uneasy. It is not that he was bad with his sense of direction in the house he's been living in since birth, just that having already impaired eye sight makes you extra vulnerable to “accidents,” or so his mother told him when he was younger.
But without being able to add any input, an attacker to his sight was draped over his eyes. James also felt a pair of hands, ones that he couldn't recognize, admittedly.
Getting him up and out of the chair was simple enough. The pushed, Aiden, only really adds trouble navigating the halls, as he has not spent years living in this house. Every now and then James would be smashed into a wall, followed by a worried laugh when it came to be the 6th or 7th times. Nobody is counting, though.
“If it wasn't my birthday, I’d think you’d be bringing me to my death!”
“I- Shut up! Aiden replies.
Not long after, a collision almost on cue shut James’ teasing attitude down. A small gasp erupted from both Carla and Aiden. Realizing James was okay shortly after the bump, James concluded his eager walk which ended the eager trip across the home.
The air stood still, and the gift was visible to both the givers, Aiden and Carla. They shared a glance before Carla silently mouthed to “Go” with her phone already recording the moment, something James would enjoy.
As for Aiden, he removed his hands from James's shoulders and smoothly backed away from James, now standing next to Carla.
James did as so.
There sat a professional, gorgeous drumset, right in front of his eyes. Rims and drum stand were made with a golden color, perfectly contracting with the white base coloring of the drum. Engraved into the drum side, flower patterns scattered across the white surface. All of the drum heads have a cover to dampen the sound. Multiple pairs of wooden drum sticks stood out of a bag, which was placed on the white seat.
It's been forever since James has seen a drum kit, yet alone played.
With such shame his brown eyes locked upon the instrument, it radiating some aura (not the good kind) that made a chill go down his spine and crush his heart. Painful memories were brought back, ones which he felt happy in the moment but looking back on it he feels shame.
All of those memories lead to nothing. He quit, making social media his top priority, as that's what made him happy.
AND IT WAS THE ONLY THING HE CAN DO.
THE OBSESSION IS OVER, BUT EVERYTHING HE LOST WAS CONSUMED BY ADDICTION AND DEPRESSION.
He's embarrassing himself, probably presenting so ungrateful for thought put into this. Feeling guilty for even questioning this, but he quickly wonders how any of this got brought back up again.
HOW HE’S BEING CONFRONTED AFTER YEARS HIDING BEHIND HIS "SUCCESSFUL" SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT AND ACTING JIGS THAT HE HARDLY HAS ANY INTEREST IN.
“How did you-?” James turned, attempting to make some sense out of the whole situation.
Aiden is looking back and forth, presumably also trying to make sense out of this entire situation as a whole, while also trying to read any emotion from both the siblings. He also worries if something is wrong with the gift. For a moment, if he should've kept his original plan and kept emailing the store, popped in his mind. Breathing alone feels like a chore.
Carla looks away from everyone, differing from Aiden, and also shying away from the whole world. A guilty, distressed looked played on her face as her arms wrapped around herself. Each one of her “positive” thoughts get attacked by one that makes her go against herself when it comes to her trust ability and her relationship with her brother. She feels like such a mouth runner.
“Im sorry,” she spoke hastily, voice shaking. “It was a mistake, and it wasn't my place-”
“I'm fine, it's okay!” James chuckled, keeping his inner thoughts out of his physical actions. “Just confused..” his hand pathetically flops around his hand to make him seem at the top of his mind.
OK? HE JUST TOTALLY MADE HIMSELF LOOK BOTH UNGRATEFUL ANDDDDD A WEAK IDIOT.
With a single strong breath, he moved himself towards the drum set. It was impulsive, honestly a hope to shut his mind up with a gentle push. He was now sitting down on the white leather seat. James tapped his fingers along the cymbals and drum rims before removing the silence barrier, the drum padding. Then, he looked up, seeing both Carla and Aiden staring at him. He was the center of attention. And he hadn't realized it because he was so absorbed by the drum set.
Realizing what he did, he smiled back, ever so awkwardly.
He pushes his head down to the ground to “search” for a pair of sticks that he moved when sitting down.
REALLY, it was to hide his face, when he should be used to it by now, since he’s been stared at by millions of people on all sorts of platforms.
James twisted the seat to see the areas he couldn't see, as those were the areas his back was facing. He grabs the first pair he sees, tied in a green, yellow, white, and black cloth. His moves were muscle memory, putting the sticks in a traditional grip, which he was told, when he was younger, by his father was what the marching drummers used back in the day since they didn't have the proper technology to use the match grip.
He never marched in drumline, although Carla did and he tried every year, but he played drum set in their high school's jazz band.
HE NEVER HAD THE TALENT, NOR THE MOTIVATION, AND HE NEVER WILL. WHAT'S THE POINT OF GOING BACK? HE’LL JUST EMBARRASS HIMSELF AGAIN AGAIN AND GET STUCK IN HIS FEELINGS. HE’LL REGRESS. HE’LL GO BACK TO HATING-
But feeling a slight groove against his thumb, his thoughts stopped. He slid his thumb away, revealing something that warmed his heart.
James Costa - Junior
The carved indent into the wood brought him back to when his and Carla’s sticks kept getting mixed up at band camp. In a rush and late, and she still giggles about this story with her friends, she hadn't fully felt the difference between marching sticks and skinny drum set sticks so he would always take James’ and get in trouble. Mom made him engrave his name into his sticks.
But unfortunately, that year he quit the same band camp. He was supposed to be in the front ensemble that season, due to being very faintish all of last year, but that wasn't the reason he quit. The reason he quit was to focus on his “joy”: social media. The same thing that he ruined himself for.
Sometimes, he thinks of what he could've been if he never left the band. Would've he been admired like Carla and completed the whole 4 years like her aswell? Honestly, probably not.
But what he can think of is the musical passion he had in his first two years of high school. He loved music so much, to the point that he would spend hours on it. Staring up at both his boyfriend and his sister, he wonders if he can have that again.
And like that, he lifts his sticks, tapping on a metronome to follow. His sticks move along the drums, not bad, but definitely not as good as he was when he was 15 or 16. There is a short moment where his thoughts shut out, being replaced with the rhythms that are produced by his talent. James knows that tuning everything out with music isn't healthy at all, but that's not what he's doing. He'll find time to talk to Aiden and Carla, eventually m, but for now, he'll give them a birthday show.