Chapter Text
Day 1 & Day 2
Waking up with the sun shining past my open curtains in a bed that wasn’t mine certainly was not something I thought could happen, but here I am. Lying on a double twin mattress with patterned purple sheets in a balcony apartment.
Was I drugged? I didn’t even see anyone last night…
Slipping out of bed, taking in the room from a different angle, things start to look… familiar. As in… like… spent too many hours seeing this as a background familiar.
Okay… hold on… this scenery definitely reminds me of one of the dating sims I’ve played…
Oh.
OH.
The sound of air being forced out of the way and then the loud slam of the door follow my movements as I check my reflection in the mirror, waiting to see my beautiful white streaked hair and purple eyes, and-
…oh
The sheer disappointment from seeing my… normal appearance is abysmal. Broad shoulders that seem to hold up dark brown coils of hair. Dark blue eyes, without even a tint of the purple I had designed this body to have. Not that I don’t like me, but… when you’re excited for something else…
A sigh escapes my lips, and I open the door again before striding into the- er, my -apartment’s kitchen and living room, the depressing thumps of my footsteps echoing on the hard floor. It’s only then that I notice the disarray of the apartment. Pillows lying on the ground, rugs seemingly pushed out from someone’s hurried feet, and not to mention the half-finished breakfast sitting in the sink.
I guess that makes sense with what I know, but… I didn’t think my stalker left it in this much… mess. I thought I didn’t know it happened until Vi, my next-door neighbor, told me. Oh well.
Digging in the fridge for something to cure my hunger, I grab a carton of strawberries and walk back into my room, carefully munching to not spray any juice as I work on finding an outfit for the day (something casual, just like Ren likes). The clothes hug my curvy figure tighter than I had hoped, outlining each bump and handle through even the baggiest of designs. Adjusting the sleeves, I flick the top of my hand to act as a reminder to buy better-fitting clothes.
Brushing my teeth, fluffing my messy hair, and heading out the door, I make my way to the library for my first day on the job (though, in the story, I’ve been working there for at least 2 months) just as the script plays out. …Well, a little more composed, I suppose.
Except I’m definitely not composed. I’m giddy. Excited. Elated. I get to meet Ren for real. I don’t have to pick a specific dialog option, I don’t have to have a scripted conversation that I’ve gone through a million times… I get to talk to him like a real person.
The doors to the library swing open wide as I push them aside, and my footsteps patter against the tiled floor as I make a beeline for the shelves I know Ren to be hiding behind, ignoring that I’m supposed to be here for work. I can’t wait to talk to my man and-
Standing in front of the pink-haired man I’ve grown to love and know as Ren is… Angel.
And I know that’s Angel. Or rather-
“Is it alright if I call you Teagan? Although… Angel does suit you just as well — in my personal opinion, at least, haha.”
Teagan. My angelsona.
Fuck.
A deep sense of dread makes its home in my gut, churning and tensing at this news. Any excitement about being in this world I once had flees from my mind. Ren wasn’t mine in this dream. He was Teagan’s. I’m not his Angel. Teagan is.
I should feel happy for them. That they can continue living joyously despite my appearance. Of course, my angelsona was meant for him. I wasn't. They are perfect for each other. But all I can see is this deep shade of orange as my eyes subconsciously squint. How I wish to be the one talking to him in Teagan’s place. Having him fawn over my every word and action.
Why am I here if not to enjoy his love as Teagan would? Just to be a side character? An observer? I did that enough when playing the game through a screen. At least then I could broadcast myself onto Angel. This… this just hurts.
Spinning on my heel, sick of paining my heart, I leave the library, my heart heavy and burdened as I ponder the logistics of this.
If I’m not Angel- not Teagan -then the apartment I woke up in this morning isn’t mine either. The job at the library isn’t mine. The friends aren’t mine. …I have absolutely nothing here.
A cloudy, lost feeling buried in my soul drags my body back to Teagan’s apartment, where I find myself digging through drawers and grabbing any leftover cash lying around, mustering together roughly $150. I don’t know what the motels in this world are like; I've never had the pleasure of having to use one, but I can only hope that it’s enough for at least one night.
I grab a couple more outfits from Teagan’s closet that kind of fit my figure, stuff them in a backpack, and leave again, walking the town and watching for any cheap hotel signs.
Finally securing a place that basically drains me of my expenses for just one night, I let my legs give out and flop into the cheap motel bed, hearing the puff of this well-used mattress protest and feeling the fibers of a century-old blanket poke against my exposed skin. This was not the lucid dream experience I was hoping for. And trust me, I tried to change it.
After all the work I had put into designing the perfect Angel for Ren, I couldn’t even be them. Hours describing their appearance to artists, even drafts of my own, have gone into making Teagan feel just enough of me, while giving them their own flair feels as though it’s gone down the drain. Days I spent playing the game to perfect Teagan’s likes and dislikes, mannerisms, and style, only to be betrayed by my very own creation. A broadcast of my inner self, shaped for the love interest, just for them to not actually be me.
I take off my shoes, letting them fall to the ground at the foot of the bed with a soft thump, and shut my eyes. Anytime I’ve lucidly dreamed before, if an interaction with a character didn’t wake me up (which I’ve tried with multiple strangers), sleeping did. So that was the plan. Wake up from this dream, back in my bed, and hop on my computer to play another 14dwy run… for comfort. Or maybe not. That salty taste still lingered in my mouth, encouraging me to distance myself from the game for at least a couple of days.
Except the next morning, I’m still in the shitty motel bed, in clothes that hug me a little too tight. A glance in the mirror also tells me I’m still definitely not Teagan.
A harsh knock on the motel room door wakes me from my spiraling, degrading thoughts, telling me my hours in the room are up, and I needed to be out of the room five minutes ago. Caving in the heels of my shoes by trying to put them on without untying the laces and grabbing my already limited things and tucking them in my bag, I apologize on my way out of the motel and try to fix my hair while I walk. I don’t have a location, but I do have somewhere I know I’m staying away from. That Driftwood Café, where Ren and Teagan will be having their little date. That is the last thing I want to see right now- to be reminded of how useless my presence is here.
Except I seem to be in just the worst spots at the worst times!
“—Angelfish and I were about to go on a date, actually.”
“Angelfish?”
“A date?”
Ren moves Teagan closer to him with a little tug on their arm, clinging to them as though they’d suddenly disappear, whereas Leon, Angel’s childhood friend, cocks their head slightly, glancing between the two of them.
That pit in my stomach? It’s penetrating the concrete beneath my feet. I can’t deal with this.
“Oh- sorry, Doll.”
I stumble slightly to the side as Teo bumps into my shoulder before he grabs my waist, steadying me and pulling me into him slightly. …Great.
“...It’s fine… let go, please.” I manage, readjusting the hoodie I have over my figure currently, pulling at the hem as it rides up a little, and backing away. “I’m kinda in the way anyways, especially for someone like you.” That ego basically takes up the whole sidewalk…
“A little thing like you could never be in the way, doll. Just try not to stand in the middle of a busier sidewalk next time, M’kay?”
Ah… I forgot he wouldn’t recognize me. Of course, he would try to flirt harder than usual. “Right… My bad.” As much as I would love to bruise his ego a little while I’m a stranger, I don’t know if I want to draw many more eyes, much less keep talking to him.
“Awe, no need to be in the dumps from a little bump. Why don’t I give you my number to lift your spirits.” Before I can say anything, he’s already pulling a pen from his pocket and writing his number on the back of my hand. If I didn’t already know who he was and what he was like, this might be a little hot. …But it’s definitely not.
“Give me a call, alright? We can have some fun at my place tonight.” He drops my hand and slides his pen back into his pocket before walking over to Ren, Leon, and Teagan. “Oi!”
I glance down at the number written on my hand in messy but legible handwriting. While low-key a bit disgusting… this does give me an option for a place to sleep tonight… if I had a phone. Though I suppose if I’m desperate enough… I’m sure I could gently guilt Elanor into letting me borrow the phone at the library. …God that feels so shitty to think. And then there’s also the gross part about having to have sex with Teo to have him let me sleep at his place… eugh. Nope. Not that desperate.
Guess that means I need to find somewhere to sleep again tonight. With Ren and who knows who else on the loose, the streets aren't safe. Especially when I'm not Angel… or maybe less so, since the Entity hopefully isn’t after me.
I glance over at the group of four, noticing Ren's unmasked jealousy while Leon hugs Teagan and can't help but long for that similar face plastered on a dream body to actually be mine.
A sigh escapes me, and I turn to leave, trying to decide where to go. I need cash for a place to sleep, but it's not like I can just waltz into any shop and work some hours just to get paid that day. If only I slept with my phone and wallet on my person… maybe they would've come with me to this fucked up reality.
As I wander the streets of Corland Bay, I try to guesstimate what will happen with Ren and Teagan today. If they're following the route I play the most, they'll be heading back to Ren's apartment tonight, which means Teagan’s will be open… however, with the stalker, that just seems like I'm asking to be murdered. That is, if I even make it into the apartment without being spotted by Violet. So that's off the table.
…Unless.
A dark thought passes my mind, and the pit in my stomach somehow ties itself in a knot.
…Killing myself could be the way out.
I cross my arms over my stomach, feeling queasy at the thought. I mean… that's the next step, isn't it? My safewords didn't work, seeing if I could get a character to send me back did nothing but get me weird looks, sleeping definitely didn't work… dying is the next step. That's what all the novels I've read have taught me anyway. You die, and your consciousness reverts back to where it's supposed to be. And it's not like I'm in a Groundhog Day-style loop; it's Day 2 in the game now. It might be worth a shot. But can I even do it?
…I can't believe I'm actually considering this.
…What would be the easiest way?
I don't really have the money to try something with a gun…
I guess I could always jump.
Christ, this is depressing.
Sand sinks through my shoes anyway it can, as I find myself somehow on the beach of Corland Bay, my mind buzzing with thoughts like busy bees.
I could try tonight. Would that be too hasty?
God… I don't think I can force myself to do it.
…I'll focus on finding somewhere to crash first. Maybe I just need a longer sleep.
Somehow, I've found myself at the very spot I didn't want to be. Ashy undertones stain the wood with a coastal atmosphere. Driftwood Café. I even got here before Ren and Teagan.
Well, at least I'm not trying to please someone else with my options this time. I dig in my pockets to find I still have roughly 10 dollars on my person and use it to buy myself a strawberry smoothie and a small cookie. I head to the end of the counter, waiting for my pickup, when I hear Ren's voice invade my ears once more.
“A slice of that chocolate cake, a strawberry sweet roll, and two small coffees.”
The signature order… I remember being slightly disappointed that he wanted me to order those specific items when they guided me through the game. I had to adjust my angelsona so that they enjoyed coffee.
Ren’s designated path leads them back to the table where Teagan is sitting, and the rehearsed lines of their conversation play in my head like a song stuck on repeat. Every word was stamped into my memory, despite not being able to hear their actual conversation.
I know I'm staring, so I'm not surprised when I catch Teagan’s eye, and they awkwardly wave. Ren's glare causes his eyes to sharpen as they penetrate my skull, all because I'm taking his Angel's attention away and probably making them uncomfortable. Plastering on an awkward smile, I wave back, almost hiding my hand behind my arms as they cross, trying to politely apologize for staring, then break eye contact. The jealous hope that Teagan would spontaneously combust so I could take their place was suffocating. Even worse was the pain in my heart, knowing this wouldn’t happen. Oh, how I wanted to be the one complimenting his hair and being the reason for the blush across his face. To be the victim of his flirting-
“Here’s your order, sweetie.” The nice barista at the counter passes me my items with a gentle smile on her face. “Have a good day.”
“Thanks, you too.”
She cocks her head with a cute smile, picking up another order and setting it at the kiosk beside me. “Order twenty-five!”
I can’t help but allow my gaze to follow Ren as they take the items from the kiosk and pay before walking back over to Teagan and presenting their food like it’s a 5-star gourmet meal. I can’t take this anymore– The gurgle and bubbles in my stomach threaten to expel everything I just ate. I grab my things and leave the café, my extensive research on this game proving useful as I end up back on the sidewalks of the busy, tourist-filled streets. I hate how jealous I am of them. That they can have Ren, and I can’t. That if I even tried to make a move, I’d end up just as unrecognizable as Olivia before the sun sets.
Speaking of… I guess… her shop will need a new worker tomorrow. Maybe I can take advantage of this. …Eugh.
Despite the immediate regret I feel from even thinking such a thing, I head towards the store that was selling that sorcerer-bunny Haruko plush (what was the name again?) and push open the door, coming face to face with Olivia at the register.
The application is fairly easy to fill out. I just use Teagan’s information for anything I don’t have in this world, and Olivia agrees to a quick, on-the-spot interview. Passing with flying colors, she hires me on the spot (thank god) and gives me a quick tour. I let her know about my… tight money situation, and she tells me she doesn’t mind splitting her tips with me as long as I pay her back. She gets me a temporary nametag and apron, shows me where I can hang my bag, and I start that minute, needing the money. She passes me a large box and directs me to start stocking and organizing the shelves in the back of the small shop.
Olivia is actually… not too bad of a girl when her mind isn’t focused on winning over my man. Not that they’re even mine in this world, but… ugh. Nevermind. It's not long before Ren and Teagan stumble into the store. I can feel the fucking bullet of a stare on me when Ren sees me stocking the shelves. A shiver traveled down my spine at the intense look, knowing that he was not happy about seeing me again after it probably looked like I was gawking over Teagan back at the café. Thankfully– I never thought I’d be saying this –Olivia buts in and starts obsessing over Ren, setting them back on script.
“Hi there! Welcome to Seaside Trinkets! My name is Olivia. Can I help you with anything?” Olivia’s eyes glisten as she talks directly to Ren, ignoring Teagan.
I can’t help but glance over from time to time, waiting for that beautiful moment where Ren threatens Olivia for just making his angel think that she would ever have a chance with them. He leans in and whispers into Olivia’s ear, and I can see her face contort into a slight panic. The smirk on Ren’s face is delectable, and I can’t help but smile too, before turning back to my work.
With a tug on his sleeve, Ren and his angel quickly leave the store, and Olivia remains there, stunned, fidgeting as she tries to contemplate what Ren just told her. Reorganizing the front desk at least 20 times, moving the post-it notes to line up with the corner of the register directly, she slacks off, seemingly lost in her own world. A little disappointing because I totally would’ve loved to hear about what Ren said from the one who heard it all. Though her story would probably be a little off, and that wouldn’t be as satisfying.
After a while, drops of rain echo against the concrete outside the shop as the sky darkens. Unsurprisingly, Ren comes back in with a look of discomfort, drenched in rain, and Olivia seems to be conflicted on how to act.
“U-uhm- Welcome back! Did you… Decide otherwise on that tour? I can give it to you now…!”
Ren’s glare could cut the tension in the air as he set an umbrella on the counter. “Give me one of those plushes for m’partner too.”
“What do you even see in them…” Olivia mumbled under her breath and rang up the items for Ren. “I’m way cuter than them anyways…”
A needle pokes my heart at the comment. I know that I’m not Teagan in this universe, but I worked hard on their design, giving them the traits and personality of a real person, funded by the game’s dialog options. An appearance that strikes envy in me. They’re an extension of me. Therefore, that comment irks me… just a little.
Olivia packs up the plush in a bag as Ren pays, a look of obvious plotting on his face. They leave without saying thank you, and I can’t help but chuckle under my breath.
“Sheesh… can’t humor a girl…”
Picking up the now-empty box from the floor, I tuck it uncomfortably under my arm and walk up to the front desk. “Hey, Olivia… I have some family stuff to attend to soon. Can I get my pay from today so I can head out?” The words come out a little more demanding than I had wanted, but at least it comes across as a truth, not a blatant lie (even though it is).
“Oh- uh- yeah! One sec.” Olivia disappears into the backroom, and I set the box down as I lean against the counter with a small yawn. I’ve probably only been working for three hours max, but if I don’t want to be murdered for being a witness, I need to get out of here soon.
“Here, roughly 30 dollars… You can come back tomorrow afternoon for another shift! Thanks for your work.” She smiles sweetly, trying to ignore the earlier events as she hands me the cash.
I nod and thank her, tucking the cash in my pocket and grabbing my backpack, then wave as I leave, speed walking away from the premises. I will not be caught amid a murder. Granted, I don’t know the exact time it happens, nor if it even will. I have no clue which path this Teagan is taking, but I still don’t want to be there in case. Ren’s a sweetie, and only kills if he has a good reason in his eyes… but if they truly believe I might’ve been gawking at Teagan earlier — that and my presence at the murder scene, might be the end of me… and I have fully decided that if I want to try dying in this world, it will be in a way that causes me the least amount of pain. Ren’s killings will not give me mercy.
As the sun starts to set in Corland Bay, I still haven’t quite found a good place to stay, especially with only thirty dollars to my name. Despite my best interests, this means a street nap for me, unfortunately. I know better than to get my hopes up, but I try to let the little angel on my shoulder convince me that maybe it’ll be like camping. Except… In a scary city where killings are happening on the regular, and it's pouring rain. I don’t have high hopes for this, but hopefully, I can make it through the night.
My clothes and damp hair stick uncomfortably to my skin as I dart from storefront to storefront, hiding under anything to slightly shield myself from the rain. The goosebump-growing sound of wet shoes and socks squishing with each step is unpleasant, and I want nothing more than to get off my feet. As I’m looking down alleyways for someplace covered enough from the rain but not too much out of view where I could become a victim of something, red and blue flashing lights pierce through the dim lighting of sunset, and the sirens of an ambulance and cop cars blare through the air, despite the downpour of rain and thundering in the distance.
Glad I got out of there, and now I know for sure where this story is going.
“—ramedics say she suffered multiple blunt forces to her vital organs, as well as showing signs of stress and struggle.” Someone’s phone echoes as they walk past me, a sickening look of fear on their face.
A small scoff escaped my lips as they curved to a slight smile, eventually sinking to a frown. Despite the shiver down my spine, it does bring me some peace knowing that every event like this is scripted. I’ve been down this route multiple times, and it just feels like another playthrough when I hear the line from the news broadcast. The sirens in the distance bring my wandering mind back into my body, however, and make me notice the way my hands tremble and goosebumps run up my arms, even the hair on my neck standing at attention to try and be aware of anything that could hurt me.
Turning to duck into an alleyway, I bump into a tall guy, sporting dark jeans, a black hoodie with the hood up and sleeves rolled, and… a shit ton of tattoos. I’m talking there are multiple Koi fish swimming up and down his right arm. So much for alerting me of dangers…
“Ah- shit- sorry… Didn’t see you there.”
He looks down at me, freezing for a moment before continuing to wipe his hands off on a… napkin? Tissue maybe. I couldn’t really tell with the dark lighting and rain. Either way, it seems I’ve caught him off guard. “T’s fine. Watch where you’re walking next time.”
“Definitely.” I take a step back towards the wall, leaving room for him to leave, when I catch the glint of gold around his left ring finger. My gaze traces up to his neck, noticing the familiar necklace draped around it with the matching ring. Ah… [REDACTED], the person you are.
I sew my lips shut with pure willpower and let my gaze fall to the damp concrete beneath me, trying not to make it obvious I know who they are and what he’s done, but he seems to catch on. “Can I help you?”
“Oh- w-well- uhm…” I sigh as my hand subconsciously traces my collarbone and makes its way up to rub the back of my neck before finally tangling into my hair. “Semi-hidden alleys tend to be the safest at night, at least according to the novels I’ve read, so I was planning to sleep here tonight- though if you’ve claimed this alley, I can leave! I just saw the dumpster and figured it’d be an okay blocker from the road kind of thing—” I stop and catch my breath, noticing my rambling. “—if you’re doing something here, I can leave. I don’t want to be in your way…” Smooth.
I feel their gaze trace me before they leave the alley without a word.
…Rude. Fitting, but rude.
I chuckle softly once he disappears, the butterflies in my stomach still stirring. I got to meet [REDACTED] before Teagan. Today was a good day, despite the damp, uncomfortable stones and the scratchy backpack I’m using as a pillow— all because of this interaction.