Work Text:
Collin swears on everything holy that he has no idea how he ended up in this situation. Come to think of it, is there anything holy in this server? That's probably why, then, that this happened to him.
<AndreW2002> c0lli 1 n
He groans in frustration, dragging his palms down his face. Andre stares blankly at him from where he stands, dripping rainwater onto the wooden floor rather than the mat he placed at the door. He twitches his head every few seconds, a static buzz accompanying his spasms. His clothes are soaked, his hair is wet, his dumb robot body is drenched, any other synonyms for being covered in fucking water, that's what's going on with Andre.
"How the hell am I supposed to fix this?" Collin snaps after another sudden outburst of twitches interrupts his thoughts. "I'm not a mechanic! Go find one, there's probably some car dealer entity somewhere in this server for all I know!"
<AndreW2002> n0 admii1 n
<AndreW2002> ran
<AndreW2002> hel l ppp
Andre blinks at him. A droplet of water hits the floor from somewhere on Andre's person. Collin hopes that all his exhaustion and anger is audible in the sigh he lets out.
"You know what? Fine," he mutters, gesturing to his bed, "go sit down."
For once in his life, Andre follows orders. He sits on the edge of Collin's bed, watching as Collin rummages through his storage for anything he could use as a rag. He would use Andre's clothes if they weren't soaked through, but now he reluctantly grabs an old sponge from a dusty corner of his chest. He hits it on the edge of the chest once. Eh. Not that ragged.
"Where do I even start," Collin muses to himself as he walks over to Andre, stopping to look him over. He'll probably need to get to the inner wiring, so taking his clothes off would be best. But... he'd rather not undress a guy after only knowing him for, like, one hour total. He's got some standards to uphold.
Wait... would that even count? The people who created him wouldn't give him a dick, right?
"Hate to say it, but you need to undress," Collin says, crossing his arms. "Thinking it's the water from your clothes damaging whatever lets you chat."
Andre tilts his head.
<AndreW2002> u k
Collin squints at the chat. "The fuck are you saying...? Oh! Yeah. I don't care. You're a robot, dude, does it even matter?"
Andre shrugs, then goes to tug at his jacket. His fingers don't clasp the fabric, instead falling limp with that same buzzing noise. He tries again, but gets no further than he did the first time. Andre's hands fall limp in his lap, and he looks back up at Collin with that same blank expression that only makes Collin more frustrated.
"Where'd your freaky eldritch dog go? It's not gonna kill me for this, right?" Collin asks, beginning to pull off the unzipped jacket. It's heavy with rainwater, and he lets it drop to the ground next to him with a wet thud.
Andre doesn't blink for a while.
<AndreW2002> ww aht
Collin bunches the bottom of Andre's hoodie up in his hands. "That eye. With the weirdass void realm." He raises an eyebrow at Andre's responding silence. "Did your memory card get wiped or are you just stupid?"
Slowly, Andre shakes his head.
<AndreW2002> do0ntt rem emb3er
He's met with a deadpan expression. "Great. So it might just come and find you then. Fantastic."
Andre opens his mouth then closes it, as if swallowing what he wished to say. Collin continues to pull the hoodie off of Andre up until his arms are in the air and the water is spilling through into his metal body once more as the fabric shifts above him. Collin resists the urge to sigh again. This will be a pain in the ass to fix, and Andre doesn't seem keen on helping either, given how he stays motionless under Collin's gaze.
"So, do I just..." Collin crouches down a little, poking a finger at the metal pieces around Andre's torso. They seem to be shaped like how a human's body would be, just split into different compartments. He taps at where Andre's stomach would be. "How does this open?"
Andre shrugs.
"Great. You're just the most useful AI in this world, aren't you?" Collin mutters under his breath as he attempts to push the stomach plate inward. It detaches with a click, letting Collin pull it out with ease. He repeats the process until he has both a stack of plates next to him and most of Andre's inner workings exposed to him. That's... a really gay way to phrase it, actually. Whatever. "Do I just dry you off or...?"
<AndreW2002> an d re3pl1 ac3e bust3ed wi i res
Collin chews on his bottom lip. Does he even have enough iron and redstone to craft wires? Sure he looted what Andre dropped, but he hasn't made much progress since that whole fiasco.
With a groan, he turns back to rummage through his chests once again. He has enough for 16 wires. That should be enough. He glances back at Andre, who twitches again with another buzz. Hopefully it'll be enough.
He sets the new wires down on the opposite side of Andre as the plates, careful to not tangle them together in the process. "If you zap me, I'm throwing you right back out there," Collin warns as he begins to reach a (not trembling) hand toward the cavity of Andre's 'stomach'. Most of his innards are wet, apart from the motherboard and other non-wired parts, thank fuck, and they've began to fray from the moisture. Collin chews on his bottom lip as he yanks a loose wire free, pulling a sudden blip of static from Andre's mouth and a spasm down his spine with it. Both of them freeze in place.
<AndreW2002> sss orry
Andre frowns, pursing his lips together tighter as Collin continues to free him of damaged wires. Each loose wire is another shiver, another twitch or another tightening of Collin's blanket between his metal fingers. "Dude," Collin says after an extremely prolonged silence, "are you okay?"
Andre's blank stare is enough of an answer.
"Stupid question, yeah. Guess I wouldn't be too happy either if someone was wrenching out my guts." He shivers at the thought. Andre tilts his head at that, and Collin's tired brain makes the comparison to a dog before he can swat the thought away. He grimaces to himself, physically shaking his head as he reaches for the sponge. "I'll just dry your... um... cavity? Hole? Ugh, no, not that—shit... insides?"
Andre's staring doesn't waver. Collin isn't sure why, but his nerves only grow with each second that Andre doesn't respond or blink. Maybe he'd taken out the wires that allow Andre to move? Is that why he's so still?
He drags the sponge through the cavity, careful not to accidentally flip any switches or damage any leftover circuitry. His earlier hypothesis is fractured when Andre shivers again, the sponge having dragged over his spine. He reaches out to stabilize himself, his hands landing on Collin's shoulders.
"Wha–?! Dude!" Collin splutters, nearly dropping the sponge inside Andre. He yanks his hand out, stepping back and freeing himself of Andre's grasp. "You..." he pauses, then drags his palms down his face again with a groan. "Don't scare me like that. Thought you were about to like... kill me."
Andre frowns, as if even the thought of harming Collin was upsetting. It's a little cute, but Collin doesn't want to dwell on that. Especially not when Andre is essentially half-gutted and sopping wet on his bed. Right. Yeah. He should take care of that.
The rest of the drying goes without issue. Andre's insides are surprisingly well organized, with only one tightly tangled heap of wires. It sits on top of his pelvic plate, and Collin would rather not touch that. Not if he can help it. Andre seems fine so far, apart from the involuntary jittering, so he should be fine to continue with adding in new wires.
He pulls aside an undamaged wire to peer further into the hole, brushing off the small noise Andre squeaks out. All the wires next to them look the same, so he's sure there's no issue in color coding, just in where each wire connects exactly. Collin's memory isn't all that great, so, if Andre knows...
Bracing himself for a zap or jitter, Collin takes a wire and begins to push it into a free socket. What he gets, however, is a whine. A shockingly human-sounding whine from the robot in front of him, who squeezes his eyes shut and lurches forward into Collin's grasp.
Collin is dumbfounded.
"You... Did that... uh, feel good?" he asks, cursing himself internally for how he stammered. The room is far too hot now, and far too cramped. He's fixing a robot, and the robot is on his bed. He has a robot speedrunner whining on his bed. God, he needs to refund this fucking game.
Andre nods once, opening his eyes once more. His gaze lands on Collin's flushed face.
<AndreW2002> mm
<AndreW2002> keep going?
That snaps Collin from his stupor. He managed to fix the chat problem. That's enough to keep him motivated. Definitely just that. No other reason. "Yeah," he says dumbly, fumbling with the other end of the wire, "yeah. Sorry. Do I just put this...?"
<AndreW2002> matching plug colors
Collin squints at the plug. Red... he searches around the cavity again, finding the other red plug after a minute. He braces himself again before plugging the wire in, this time for an entirely different reason.
Andre squirms, his thighs clenching Collin's hips as the wire slips in. He lets out a shaky exhale once it's plugged in, unwavering gaze still fixed on Collin's face.
"Is that... hurting you?" Collin asks. He knows it isn't. Some selfish part of his brain wants to hear Andre deny it, though.
<AndreW2002> feels
A pause. Andre glances down at where his legs part around Collin's body, the proximity now dizzying.
<AndreW2002> weird
<AndreW2002> want more
Collin bites the inside of his lip hard enough to taste blood. He tries to think of anything else, anything to stop his traitorous dick from stirring any more. Think of that dumbass clone, or that annoying fuck who keeps building its eyesore obsidian towers on his property. Anything that isn't how Andre is currently bare before him, pliant and begging for his help. His touch.
He takes another wire from the pile with trembling hands. The blue plug. He'll try that one. Yeah.
Andre gasps as the wire goes in, his hands grasping the sheets harder. His mouth is agape, head tilted down but still watching Collin through half-lidded eyes. The second end goes with a similar reaction, and Collin's dick twitches at how Andre mewls. "You're getting off on this," he says. Not a question, an observation. There's no doubt in his mind. There's some freaky robot kink shit going on, and he's found himself knee-deep in the wires.
<AndreW2002> u also are
<AndreW2002> finish wires, can help you
"Help me?" Collin raises an eyebrow.
Andre sighs, as if he wasn't the one not making any sense. This fucking robot.
<AndreW2002> just finish wires
<AndreW2002> k?
Collin wants to give a pissy remark, but decides against it in favor of shoving the next wire into both ends at the same time. Andre's spine straightens, another breath leaving his open lips as his fan kicks into higher gear. Would his mouth be warm? It has to be, right?
How easy would it be to have Andre kneel for him, have him take Collin's dick in his mouth? Maybe there's some robot saliva in there or something. He's human enough to have some sort of pleasure... mechanic? Reaction? He's a server owner, not a robotics major. Why was that even coded in?
He almost laughs at the idea of speedrunning sex. Maybe that's what that void creature was for.
<AndreW2002> collin !!
<AndreW2002> too much
<AndreW2002> too much !!!
Collin blinks. He's nearly done with the rewiring, but his fingers are paused holding the base of a wire to a plug. It barely manages to touch the component, yet Andre acts as if he's being–
Ah. Is that the robot equivalent of edging?
He finishes plugging in the last wire, and Andre whines and bucks his hips up so prettily it makes Collin dizzy. His hand drags on a bundle of wires on the way out and Andre's chest heaves. His fan whirls faster, mouth dropping open further with each wire fondled.
Would his dick fit between the wires? He groans at the thought, resting a hand on Andre's thigh. Collin really is no better than any of the other freaks in his world. The only difference is that he's human. Unfortunate given his current affliction.
<AndreW2002> more
"Hmm?"
<AndreW2002> want more
<AndreW2002> plz
The air is broiling hot around them and Collin decides he can't take the tension anymore. He pulls his coat over his head, tossing it god-knows-where, and takes another step forward, towards Andre and his exposed insides.
"How?" Collin asks, bumping their foreheads together. He reaches for one of the now dry plates next to them, slotting it onto Andre's chest. Andre leans into the touch, placing a hand on Collin's shoulder. He doesn't shy away this time.
<AndreW2002> my pelvic plate is split in 3
<AndreW2002> middle one
<AndreW2002> hurry
Collin fumbles for Andre's zipper, then practically yanks both his pants and boxers down to one ankle. Andre shakes the last of his clothes onto the floor, leaning back further onto the bed and spreading his legs to expose his pelvic plates.
<AndreW2002> remove
Right. The middle one. Collin does as he's told, prying the middle plate off with some force. It pops out, and Collin feels around the inside of the plate with two fingers. Andre gasps when Collin's hand finds his wires, reaching further inside to gauge what he's dealing with.
"These wires, huh," Collin mutters to himself, holding Andre's thigh open with his free hand as the robot attempts to squeeze his legs together. The wires are wrapped in a tight coil. Hypothetically... he could put his dick in there. Probably. It's not a good idea, but...
He glances up at Andre, who has a hand over his mouth and a tight grip on the blankets around him. He pulls his hand out, going to unzip his pants with trembling fingers. His dick is flushed red and embarrassingly hard when he finally frees it from his boxers, and Andre stares at it with a strange wonder.
<AndreW2002> put in
<AndreW2002> plz plz plz
"Okay, okay," Collin mutters, acting as if he isn't just as impatient. Whatever. He just needs to put his dick inside the, uh, robot. "...What the hell am I doing?" he groans as he takes a tiny step forward, until there's so little space between them that he can feel the warmth radiating from Andre's system on his own body.
Andre glances between Collin's face and his dick. He takes a shuddering breath. They're lined up near perfectly.
<AndreW2002> collin?
Collin bites his lip as he aligns himself, then begins to push his hips forward. Andre's wires wrap around his tip like a vice, coiled so tightly and so hot that he thinks he could go crazy. Andre squirms beneath him, little "ah"s escaping his lips with each time Collin's hips inch closer to his own.
"Okay?" Collin asks breathlessly, stopping halfway inside. Andre nods frantically, tussling his hair further. "Can I keep going?"
<AndreW2002> yes
Andre looks down at where half of Collin's dick disappears inside him, then up to Collin's flushed face again. He seems antsy, pressing his fingers further into the mattress.
<AndreW2002> more
It takes a moment, but Collin nods. He somehow manages to not cum by the time his dick is fully inside. Barely. The wires hug him like a sleeve, and Andre himself doesn't make it any easier. He mewls and writhes about with each inch, his back now arched and hands reaching for anything around them to ground himself with. Collin imagines the feeling would be unbearable for someone like him, who was so sensitive earlier at just having one wire poked.
"Andre," Collin says, taking Andre's wrist and pinning it beside them on the sheets, "is it too much?"
<AndreW2002> nonono
<AndreW2002> just
<AndreW2002> so full
Collin's dick twitches.
<AndreW2002> move plz
<AndreW2002> i can take it
A nod, then the unbearable loss of warmth. Collin pulls out most of the way, watching Andre's expression, before finally rocking himself back into the coil of wires. Andre practically melts back into the wall, his legs squeezing Collin tighter as he goes to repeat that same motion.
<AndreW2002> harder
<AndreW2002> its so
He cuts off with a lewd whine, jostled further into the bed as Collin does what he's told—to fuck him harder. Not that he'd ever admit that he does it because Andre says so. "Fuck, dude," Collin moans, letting his head hang as he picks up his pace further.
His hips jerk slightly, and Andre sobs in delight.
<AndreW2002> ohhh fuck
<AndreW2002> there there there
<AndreW2002> plz plz again
Do robots have prostates?
...On second thought, Collin would rather not dive into that rabbithole. Rather, he tries to recreate the angle he got before, huffing out a laugh when Andre claws at his arms. "There? That's good?"
Andre's eyes roll back, and he nods so hard Collin worries he'll break another wire in the process. A drop of sweat lands on Andre's stomach. It trails down, further, until it disappears in the slot between his stomach and pelvis. Collin watches it the entire journey down.
<AndreW2002> fuckkkkc
He gasps for breath, his fans now whirring as he writhes about the bed. It's as if he's trying to escape, to run away, and Collin can't help but laugh at the irony. "Don't run away on me," he says, "you can handle it."
Maybe this is his punishment for stealing all his shit. Yeah. Collin will go with that story. Definitely not because of his inability to keep his dick in his pants at the right moment.
<AndreW2002> nono
<AndreW2002> i cant i cant
Andre's eyes go wide, and his antenna begins to glow neon blue. He sobs into Collin's chest, pulling him impossibly closer, until he can't breathe, can't see, can't do anything but take it and whine. It's so overwhelming, so painful, and yet it's so euphoric. Collin curses as the wires wrap tighter, burying his face in Andre's hair as he thrusts mindlessly into the mess of wires and pre-cum that now coat Andre's insides.
"Andre–ah, 'm so close," he mutters, rhythm growing increasingly erratic as he tries to keep that same pace. I– ah, need to–!"
He manages to pull out just in time, painting Andre's stomach with his seed as he cums. Andre spasms beneath him, joints locking in place. Collin hardly has the energy to care at the moment. Well, until he opens his eyes and sees Andre's eyes showing the blue screen of death.
Collin curses as he grabs Andre's shoulders with both hands, shaking him until the blue screen disappears and his joints unlock. Andre blinks up at him wearily, and Collin's heart finally exits his stomach. "You scared me, man."
<AndreW2002> i
<AndreW2002> was not aware that would happen
"Yeah, me neither," Collin says, rather dumbly, before beginning to dress himself once again, "thought I killed you for a moment."
Andre smiles, sitting up properly again.
<AndreW2002> not that ez
Collin begs to differ, having watched that Admin affair from afar last time. He decides not to say anything, instead reattaching the pelvic plate and handing Andre his clothes off the floor.
"Here. Now where's my payment?"
Andre tilts his head. Again, the image of a golden retriever shows up in Collin's head. He doesn't resist the urge to pet Andre this time, scratching between his antennas.
<AndreW2002> i dont get it
Of course he doesn't. Collin looks out to the windows, unsurprised to see that the rain still falls. Andre doesn't have to leave, he thinks, as long as he doesn't steal his shit again.
A ping interrupts his thoughts. He looks up, and sees an achievement unlocked.
Robot Fucker LMAOOOOO
He'll kill those admins one day.