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Kasamatsu looked around nervously, not usually one for big crowds of people. He was meeting Moriyama and Kobori here, though, which made the anxious beating of his heart lessen a bit. He stuck to the wall of buildings, trying not to get in anyone's way as he waited for his friends. He couldn't believe how boldly people dressed, how… unafraid they were to be themselves. Meanwhile he was just… in a black sleeveless t-shirt with a lone rainbow on it and he wore dark pants with some white converse.
He bit his lips, wondering if he just didn't fit in with everyone around him. How could he call himself part of the community if he wasn't as loud and proud about it, especially during the pride festival? A part of him wanted to just leave and go home and hide under his covers, but… that just wouldn't do. He was here, and he was queer, and that was something he needed to be proud about. He wouldn't go back into the closet no matter what anyone else said about it. Especially his parents.
He was brought out of his thoughts by someone calling his name.
He looked up Moriyama was waving at him, fully decked out. He was wearing the shortest shorts he could get away with, probably with something like "Bratty Bottom" printed on the back, a crop top that said, "You Are Enough" and full make-up. Kobori was holding his hand, dressed up rather similarly to Kasamatsu.
"Are you so excited for your first Pride?!" Moriyama beamed at him, waving a fan in front of himself.
Kasamatsu smiled a bit. "Yeah, I think it'll be fun," he nodded. He was excited, but there was just something in him that didn't… seem right.
The three of them started wandering around the festival booths, checking out anything and everything that caught their eyes, when Kasamatsu saw an older woman wearing a shirt that said "Free Mom Hugs."
His chest got tight and his breath stopped for a moment. Oh. That's… what he was missing. He'd known he's gay since high school, and although that had been the case, he hadn't come out to his parents until he moved out and had been in college for a few years. Their reactions hadn't been the best but hadn't been the worst, and he was grateful for that. Since he'd come out there had always been a distance between him and his parents. Not that they'd been especially close when he was younger, but they'd always been pretty good parents.
He knew that before he came out his parents had considered him an excellent role model for his younger brothers, and he'd lived up to those expectations. But after realizing things about himself and coming to terms that he'd never get married and have kids like his parents wanted him to, he knew that his parents had gotten a bit cold to him because of that. They'd never turned him away when he needed help with paying for groceries or rent if he needed help (and he always paid them back), but they hadn't told him they were proud of him since he'd come out. And they never asked about his dating life or anything.
They weren't bad parents, they just… didn't accept him the way he wanted and needed to be accepted.
"Kasamatsu? You okay?" Kobori asked, cocking his head to one side.
Kasamatsu cleared his throat shakily and licked his lips. "Yeah, I'm fine, um… I'll be right back," he said. He wasn't one to go up to strangers normally, but this was something he knew he needed to do. If he didn't he knew he'd regret it.
His heart pounded in his ears as he walked up to this woman who looked similar in age to his own mother, which made this all the more necessary. As he weaved his way through the sea of people to get closer he realized he was going to tower over her but he just hoped that she wouldn't shy away because of that.
She didn't see him coming as she was looking at something at the vendor's booth, but as he reached her side, he cleared his throat. "Excuse me," he said, his voice cracking. She looked up at him, and she wasn't as short as he'd thought she was; he could barely see over her head. "Could I get… a hug?" he asked.
In the second before she reacted, he thought he sounded so stupid, but she opened her arms wide and immediately wrapped them around him. The tender way she held him made the dam inside of him break and he reached around her to hug her back. The warmth of this stranger was more than he'd gotten from his own mother in years and he could feel the non-judgemental love radiating from this woman. He tried to hold back his tears because he didn't want to cry in front of everyone around him, but this woman seemed to know exactly what was happening.
"I'm proud of you for being you," she said quietly, just barely above the din of the crowd. "And I'm glad that you're here."
Kasamatsu's grip on her intensified for a moment, a small sob escaping his mouth as he tried to breathe. "Thank you," he replied, releasing her.
"I can hug you for as long as you need," the woman told him, looking up. "I've done this a lot over the past few years, and I think you need it."
Kasamatsu bit his lip, taking a shuddering breath before letting the woman pull him into another hug. Yes, he did need it. He needed someone to tell him that it was okay, that he can be who he is without judgment, without expectations. And if his own mother wasn't going to tell him that, then someone else's mom would.
He wasn't sure how long he stayed in a hug with this woman and he was unaware of everything except her warmth and how she let him cry onto her shoulder. He eventually pulled away after his eyes felt puffy, and she smiled at him, the crow's feet around her eyes making them soft and welcoming.
"Sorry for… that," he said, quickly wiping his eyes without looking at her.
"Not at all, sweetheart, that's why I'm here," the woman shook her head. "I'm glad I can be here for people like you who really need this. It's my way of giving back to the community I love."
He nodded, thanked her again, and walked away from her, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He wasn't sure where Moriyama and Kobori had gotten to, but he hoped they hadn't stuck around and seen that embarrassing display. But as he looked up, he saw his friends standing right around where he'd left them, though they weren't looking at him.
They were both peering at their phones, leaning against each other in the shade. Kasamatsu's heart swelled as he realized they'd been waiting for him, but giving him the privacy in the moment he'd needed. Maybe his family didn't have to be his blood. Maybe his family was the community who accepted all of him without question and without any qualms.