Chapter Text
Laurie was alone. She was used to being alone. Most of her free time was spent laying in bed, overthinking everything on her mind. Unfortunately, all that was on her mind was Kai. Kai was someone Laurie had always admired, and she constantly compared herself to her. Kai was athletic, popular, intelligent, and even though Laurie tried to deny it she was attractive. Laurie tried her hardest to refuse her crush, repeating to herself all the secret glances and blush in her face when talking to Kai was entirely platonic. But, despite her denial, Laurie wished Kai would love her. Laurie knew that would never happen though. She was forgettable. She had never been very pretty, smart, interesting, cool or fun. She was just there. Everyone she knew spent a lot more time with other friends aside from her, nobody really went out of their way to talk to her when she wasn't with someone else, even her own family felt even more distant after she quit softball. Even her own body hated itself, as she had a myriad of chronic illnesses and mental disorders. Since her family wasn't that high of income, it was hard to support all the pills and medicines she had to take just to live a semi normal life. She wasn't planned. She was never fully healthy. She couldn't find any reason to live. She shouldn't be alive. It would all be better if she was dead. She was useless. A burden. An embarrassment. A mistake. A disgrace. She didn't deserve to live.
She reached for the box cutter in her nightstand. As she removed the cap, she remembered how her dad was in the other room. If she was gonna be found, it would have to be him. It made her hesitate, but in the end it would be better for him right? She made the first cut, deep into her left arm. The blood seeped into the dandelion yellow blanket below her. The pain brought tears to her eyes, but it was necessary. Her phone glowed on her pillow from a notification, but she didn't bother to check. She didn't remember her asking Kai if she wanted to hangout at her dad's apartment anymore. It didn't matter. She would be dead soon anyway. Another cut, into her right arm. One in her thigh, her stomach, her shoulder. She tuned out the light talking in the living room, the subtle glow from the evening overcast, the sound of the fan above her head, Instead she turned the blade to her neck.
As she began the cut, time froze. Her door opened, followed by a terrifying scream. As she looked up, she saw Kai. Kai was now running towards her, tears running down her face. Laurie began to cry as well, and as Kai embraced her tried to tell her she loved her. Before she could get the words out, the room spun before her vision failed and she passed out.
The rest of the night blurred together, through bouts of awareness filled with bright lights and unrecognizable voices before they faded back to darkness. The next moment she could truly remember was her in a hospital bed. Nobody else was in the room with her, but she could hear voices coming from the waiting room. For a moment, she couldn't tell who they were and what was being said, but eventually she recognized a few people. Her dad, Her mom, Paula, and from looking out the door's frosted window she could make out a few more sillouettes of people. Unfortunately, alongside this she could finally realize what was happening outside. Of course her parents had to argue about her, even if it was outside of her own hospital room.
"How could you let her have those things in her own room?"
"I couldn't have known she would do this to herself if they were
available!".
"You hadn't even checked on her in hours before this happened, right? What if her friend didn't show up? Our daughter could've DIED!".
"At least I was there for her, you only arrived Ten minutes ago! She could've flatlined WAY before you even got here!"
Hearing her parents fighting even when they didn't even know if she was going to survive felt like a slap to the face. Even in her own death, her own family would still argue and scream at each other because of her. She began to cry again.
"Mom? Dad? There's tons of people here, can you not fight right now?"
"Well maybe if your DAD hadn't let Laurie around knifes while she's in some 'crises' she Never bothered to tell us about, we wouldn't even be here.".
"Oh, like SHE would ever tell YOU anything, Carole!"
"It's clear she wouldn't tell YOU ANYTHING EITHER!"
Laurie wished she could disappear. She grabbed the paper thin blanket on top of her and turned away from the door, as she tried to muffle her ears. Tears were still flowing down her face, even though she hardly made a sound. The rooms lights seemed all too bright, all sounds too loud, and she wished the entire day could be reset. Her face and hospital gown were now soaked in tears. As she wiped them away, someone started to approach the door. The knob turned, and the door creaked open slowly as the person behind it stepped forward. It was Kai, still sobbing after what happened. If it was anyone else, Laurie would have just looked away. But Kai... Kai was different. Laurie turned back to face her, hoping Kai would look away and would forget this happened. But instead, Kai was focused on Laurie. She didn't look away.
"......Laurie?"