Chapter Text
*Friday afternoon*
Lee Sangwon sits under the shaded area of one of the bigger trees that surround the yard of his University campus, sketchbook on his lap and sharpened pencil in his right hand.
Next to him in a drink carrier, are a half empty Americano and a full pink lemonade from the café that he works at.
Being an introvert who rarely talked to others and kept to himself was something that fitted Sangwon well.
Sharp features and insane visuals with a quiet confidence that make him look captivating and alluring, yet kept others at bay with just one glance so intense that people did not dare approach him or even think about bothering him while he was in his element.
Having his ✨️Inspiration✨️ playlist on repeat, he keeps glancing up at the people leaving the building of the university he has been attending to for the last 2 years, while simultaneously sketching traces of the place surrounding him. Utopia by ATEEZ blasting through his headphones, setting the mood and making him bop his head sometimes.
Being an Art major and also a naturally observant person has had it perks for Sangwon, just being able to see through the facades and fronts that others keep up to still keep a part of them to just themselves. Making it difficult to hide anything from him. Not impossible, but difficult.
He sees students meeting up at the gate, tired smiles and greetings that pretend to show they just had a long day, but Sangwon knows better. He can see the exhaustion that has been building up for quite a while now.
Bet that one of them will decline, Sangwon thought while watching them.
He had to hold in his laugh when someone of the friend group waves his hand dismissively, to show that he's passing on whatever was asked of him. Getting a pat from someone of the group on the shoulder, the boy takes his leave and walks the other way than the friend group is headed.
Hah, knew I was right.
Sangwon keeps watching him, taking in the tension knotted through his shoulders and the heavy, dragging, unhurried steps of someone running on empty, betraying how exhausted he actually is. Sangwon keeps sketching while deep in thought.
I feel like I have seen him before? Maybe at the convenience store at the West campus?
He shrugs his shoulders and tries to focus again on his drawing.
Sangwon has always appreciated art, ever since he was a kid. He loved going to museums and art exhibitions. Being able to perceive so much unspoken from just a single drawing or painting, has always grabbed his attention more than anything else.
That was, until he met Lee Leo, his best friend.
Leo and Sangwon have been friends for 8 years now, having met when Leo moved from Sydney, Australia to Seoul when he was 16 and Sangwon was 15. His Korean was so butchered, he had to join extra Korean lessons during the weekends and had classes in middle school with students a year younger than him, which is how the two met.
*8 years ago*
Sangwon, who sits alone near the back of the classroom and keeps his head down while sketching during class (definitely not something an introvert would do), heard the door open again, 5 minutes after his teacher Mr Park already started talking about something that had NOTHING to do with the actual lesson.
Sangwon normally never looks up when he's concentrated on drawing, but an unknown force made him look up. As if telling him it was worth it to stop, even if it was just for a second.
Both boys caught each other’s eye when Leo first entered the classroom, holding eye contact for way too long than both intended, making Sangwon let out a silent gasp.
Wow....
Whilst Leo was being introduced by Mr Park, Sangwon couldn't help but stare. Leo was probably the first person that actually made Sangwon stop in his tracks and admire all his features, not understanding how well they fitted the new boy.
From his fluffy long hair, thick eyebrows, to his cute awkward smile, to the mole on his nose.
He barely registered what Leo said, completely blown away by the beautiful boy in front of the class, eyes never leaving him.
Leo? Something about Australia, singing? yeah yeah sure... he's so cute..
Sangwon wasn't sure what he did in his past life to get so lucky, but the moment Mr Park told Leo to pick out a seat, they locked eyes again and Leo walked towards the empty seat on Sangwon’s right.
Leo gave him a small smile when he took his seat next to him and then turned to face the front of the class. Sangwon was still in awe and had to shake his head to get his brain to function again.
Get it together idiot, Sangwon thought to himself.
He still kept looking at Leo, to his side profile, while Leo took his book out and looked for the right page.
The hand that was holding his pencil still hovered above his sketchbook, but this time with more determination. Ignoring the sketch Sangwon started on, he turned to another page and started sketching lightly.
Soft strokes of his pencil started to resemble hair that fell over pretty eyes, the outline of an adorable nose with a small mole on the tip of it, to pretty, plump lips that looked way too kissable to even look at.
Sangwon noticed small habits, like Leo biting said pretty lips while he was trying to take notes. It was obvious he was having a hard time keeping up with their teacher who kept yapping way too fast for the poor boy.
He probably still needs to adjust to Korean, Sangwon thought while he couldn't stop staring (very nonchalant of course) at the boy next to him.
Sangwon just leaned back in his chair and kept staring, tuning everything else out.
I don’t think I’ve seen such a perfect face before, Sangwon thinks, appreciating the sight next to him.
He would look down at his sketch from time to time -which he would call his grand masterpiece- to make sure he added all the details that would do Leo justice.
In his determined focus, he didn't even think about the fact that Leo could just look over and see him drawing, well... him.
Guess that all the good deeds that Sangwon had accumulated in his past life were not enough to save him from making a fool out of himself in front of others in his current life -especially cute boys- because the moment Sangwon decided to take another look at Leo to make sure he got his chin and jawline right, they made eye contact.
Right after Leo had already been looking at his sketchbook.
Shit... shit shit SHITTTTTT
The way Sangwon slammed a hand down on the page he was drawing on and looked down with a red flush that reached his neck in a matter of seconds, was laughable in a way Sangwon never thought he would experience. He’s the Lee Sangwon for crying out loud.
He felt pathetic for getting caught, but the thing that actually made his breath catch in his throat and his heart skip a couple beats, was the way Leo's soft giggles reached his ears.
He looked up at Leo, shock and embarrassment written all over his face, just to see the other boy still trying to hold back his giggles, while failing miserably.
"Can I see?" Leo asked in a soft whisper, while having a big grin on his face.
Sangwon was internally panicking like crazy.
I'm so so fucked, oh god take me out right now. Please give me a heart attack.
He let out a deep sigh when the heart attack he deeply wished for, didn't happen. Ears completely red, he slowly took his hand off of his sketchbook, pushing it lightly towards Leo.
He held his breath while watching Leo take in the drawing that Sangwon made, of him.
Sangwon bit his lip and just kept waiting until Leo looked up at him again with wide eyes.
At least he doesn't look mortified or creeped out, Sangwon thought hesitantly, watching with uneasy eyes.
"Gosh you are so talented, how can you draw so well? This look insane! Do I actually look like this?? This is crazy! You even got my mole right. Most people tend not to see anything so small," Leo's eyes had a twinkling spark in them.
Sangwon got even redder than he already was and couldn't even look the other boy in the eyes, so his eyes kept darting around.
"R-Really? Thanks, I appreciate it. I enjoy drawing a lot, but a lot of people tell me it's a waste of time,’’ Sangwon barely got out with a soft, hurt sigh at the end that was filled with more deeper lying emotions than he had intended to share with the boy he barely met 5 minutes ago.
Leo's jaw dropped and he actually looked a bit angry.
"DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE IDIOTS!"
Sangwon whimpered, shit… way too loud, already knowing what’s going to happen now.
"Care to share with the class Leo?" Mr Park looked at the boy who got shocked by his own reaction. Annoyed by the interruption.
"N-no sir, I'm sorry. It w-won't happen again," Leo stuttered out while looking down, hands clasping tightly together in his lap. A red flush decorating his cheeks and ears, while he tries to make himself look as small as possible.
Dear disgusting looking floor, please open up right this second and swallow me away from this place, Leo thought to himself, mentally facepalming for reacting so loudly.
Mr Park turned around towards the board with a scoff and continued his lesson about whatever he was talking about.
The moment Leo looked up at Sangwon again, he saw the boy with a small smirk on his face while looking at him.
"You good?" Sangwon asked in a whisper.
"Y-yeah, just got startled a bit hehe," Leo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
Sangwon had to hold himself back from snorting.
"I meant it by the way. You shouldn't listen to what others have to say about your passions.
If it brings you joy, just go for it. Do whatever makes you happy and never take it to heart what others have to say about that. If they don't support you, then they should just go sit in a g-garbage can."
Leo said it so sincerely, that Sangwon couldn't help the soft smile that was forming on his face from how genuine and idiotic it sounded.
He finally looked Leo in the eyes, "Thank you, that means a lot."
He held his hand out to Leo, "I'm Lee Sangwon, nice to meet you."
Leo looked at the hand, then back at Sangwon.
He's the first person to actually act civil and introduce himself to me in the past 2 weeks that I've been in this country, Leo thought.
Leo shook the thought away and took Sangwon's hand with grateful grip. "Nice to meet you Sangwon, I'm Lee Leo. I just moved to Korea a few weeks ago."
"Yeah, I can tell by the accent and the fact that I can barely read your notes," Sangwon said flatly, but with a sarcastic edge to it. A small smirk never leaving his face.
Leo bit his lip to keep himself from laughing and looked down shyly, a tad bit embarrassed.
"Yeah... still have much to learn and practice."
Sangwon looked at him and every 'logical' thought that he had told himself throughout the years, screamed no, don't let him in. You don't need friends. You don't need anyone. You're fine on your own.
But his heart? His heart screamed at him to get to know the cute boy before him. To get to know everything about him, because he had never met anyone that intrigued him as much as Leo did.
Sangwon took a deep breath before making up his mind "Would you like some help?"
Leo looked at him, confused.
"W-what do you mean?"
"It's just, I can't imagine how it must be to leave your home country and start all over again somewhere new," Sangwon started.
"Learning Korean properly won't be easy for sure, but starting a new life and getting to know the city and people you'll be surrounded with? That's another challenge on itself. I wouldn't mind helping you if you would like me to."
Sangwon didn't know what came over him, he never imagined himself offering his help like this to someone EVER. He has always been someone who was content in his own shell and never needed the company of others. Didn't reach out to others, because he simply couldn't be bothered to deal with them.
But this boy? This boy made Sangwon feel like he is the light that he has been looking for in his life. Like the pencil he needs to give life and meaning to his creations.
Leo's jaw dropped, too stunned to speak. The flush that had left him, returning and spreading from his cheeks towards his ears and neck.
Is he being for real...? He wants to be my friend...?
I actually can’t believe such a good looking person is even talking to me?? TO ME???? Leo thought to himself.
Regret started to fill every part of Sangwon after each passing second that stretched from the silence of Leo.
Ughh, I think that was a bit too much. I definitely scared him off.
"I-i'm sorry, I didn't mea-"
"Y-yes please, I w-would like that very much," Leo interrupted in a shy, but overjoyed voice.
Sangwon looked at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to say.
"This is probably the nicest thing someone has EVER said to me. I would love to be friends with you Sangwon."
Leo tried to calm himself down so he wouldn't keep embarrassing himself by turning so red the whole time, but the redness on the tip of his ears still betrayed him.
It took everything in Sangwon to keep himself composed, but he couldn't help the genuine smile slowly forming on his face.
"I would like that too. How old are you by the way Leo? Sorry, I wasn't paying much attention before when you were introduced by Mr Park," Sangwon shot him an apologetic smile.
Bullshit, he was busy gawking at the pretty boy, so of course he wasn't paying attention to anything else.
What he doesn't know, won't hurt him, Sangwon thought mischievously.
"I'm 16. They said this class would be a better fit for me, so I can adjust easier and hopefully learn the language better, while still keeping up schoolwork," Leo said a bit unsure.
"What about you? How old are you Sangwon?"
Sangwon had to bite his lip to keep his smirk from showing.
How can someone older than me, be sooo adorable????? Does he even know what he does to my heart?????
"I'm 15, a year younger than you. That means you're my hyung. Can I call you that?" Sangwon didn't even know the effect his words had on Leo.
Sangwon wishes he could've captured the moment he saw Leo gasp softly and the flush on his cheeks returning immediately, after finally having calmed down.
"H-hyung? Y-yeah, that's f-fine, y-you can call me h-hyung," Leo breathed out softly, not daring to look at Sangwon.
Sangwon frowned, "Are you sure? If you're uncomfortable with it, I won't call you that. I can understand you don't really use these honorifics in Australia, so It's okay if you don't wa-"
"NO, I- I mean, no i-it's okay. I'm just not really used to it, since no one has ever called me t-that before," Leo mumbled shyly.
"But it's really fine, you c-can call me hyung."
"Are you sure, like REALLLYYYY sure?" Sangwon exaggerated his words a lot, to hopefully let Leo ease up a bit.
Leo let out a soft laugh, "I'm really sure Sangwon."
"Alright then Hyung, whatever you say", Sangwon shot him a small smile and terrible wink that just made Leo laugh a bit more.
*back to the present*
Sangwon smiles at the thought of their first meeting. Fever Dream by Alex Warren playing through his headphones, making Sangwon let out a small chuckle at the song choice by his shuffling playlist.
Leo brought out a different side of Sangwon he never knew he had in himself.
Never would I have imagined that a random Australian boy would have changed so much in my life, Sangwon thought to himself while smiling like an idiot.
They're now 23 and 24 years old. 8 years have passed since their first meeting and they have been through so much together.
After finishing middle school and high school, the two went to the same college and graduated together. Both working part time while studying, Sangwon at the well-known café 'One Destiny' and Leo at the local library. They even moved in together as well during their last year of college.
When it was time to look for universities, they were overjoyed to find that their apartment and jobs were close to the university that offered studies in both their interests and passions. Sangwon as an Art major and Leo as a Literature major. They both got their acceptance letter at the same day. Call that destiny huh.
Sangwon, who had been smiling at the thought of Leo, started to frown, after checking his watch.
Leo's last class ends around 30 minutes after his workshift on fridays, so he texted the older boy that he would wait for him at his usual spot so they could go home together. He got a short 'Of course Wonie, see you in a bit!' text from the older boy within a few minutes.
"Where the hell is that idiot? His last class ended 15 minutes ago. Maybe someone asked him for his notes again?" Sangwon asked himself out loud, as if the answer -in this case Leo- would pop out of thin air.
It didn't help that Leo, a literal ball of sunshine, who everyone loves, was the complete opposite from Sangwon, the ice prince with a heart and mind made of steel, who everyone fears.
Everyone adored Leo and approached him so easily about anything. Some people even wondered how the two ended up as best friends, but that's something Leo has always quite been vocal about.
He takes pride in being Sangwon's best friend. Never ashamed of how his personality works and always has his back whenever he hears others talk badly about him or try to spread rumours about him. He respects that Sangwon isn’t keen to open himself up to others, but still wishes he would try once in a while.
Sure, Sangwon can be cold and distant to others, but that's not what he shows towards Leo. In fact, it's the complete opposite.
He waits for Leo to finish his classes to go home together or picks him up from his late shifts so he won't have to walk home alone. Sangwon loves to cook (especially for Leo) and takes pride in himself whenever Leo compliments his food. He knows whenever Leo is having a hard time and makes sure he knows that Sangwon will always be the person he can rely on and vent to whenever he needs to get something off his chest. He takes care of Leo when he's sick or feeling down. He even reminds Leo about his appointments, because the poor boy always forgets about them. Their music taste is so similar that they even have a shared playlist.
Sangwon isn't a touchy person in general, let alone in public. The most he'll do is grab onto Leo's shoulder for like 2 seconds whenever they're walking home or to the grocery store, before dropping his hand again.
But at home? He's clingy when they're home.
Sangwon lingers around Leo for far too long and has no shame in it. Leaning against him while watching a movie. Pinching his adorable cheeks whenever Leo keeps pouting. Lay his head on Leo's lap whenever he's reading, knowing that Leo's hands will always find a way into his hair to play with it. Giving him a back hug whenever Leo is washing the dishes or looking through their shared bookshelf for something to read.
Leo always lets him. He loves it when Sangwon is being clingy and asking for Leo's attention. He'll never say it out loud though, in fear of it ruining the comfort and trust Sangwon has found in Leo.
Sangwon takes his headphones off and lets them rest around his neck, Man In Love by INIFNITE playing from his playlist.
"I just hope his minions didn't kidnap him again," Sangwon muttered softly -but slightly annoyed- while rolling his eyes.
The so called minions, aka Leo's other friends, always tried to indulge Leo into whatever they had planned every Friday night.
Some days Leo would accept and join them, but some days he'd decline and go home with Sangwon.
Either way, the older boy always tried to include Sangwon, who has learned to tolerate Leo's friends and has joined them a few times.
He kept sticking to Leo's side and would make snarky, sarcastic comments whenever Anxin and Geonwoo try to pick on him in a jokingly manner with no ill intentions, just to get a reaction out of him
That idiot makes me act like a fool for him and he's still oblivious, Sangwon sighs at the thought. Pencil gripped tightly in his hand.
Leo isn't stupid or dumb, he's probably one of the smartest people Sangwon has ever met in his life.
But boy, he is as dense, oblivious and stubborn as a donkey.
Sangwon has been in love with that idiot since the day they met. And Leo has no clue, and never will.
Sangwon has accepted early on in their friendship that having Leo as his best friend is the best and worst thing that he has decided to pursue.
Dropping hints never worked in his favour, too scared to actually make a move…
And the thought of actually losing Leo forever? That’s something he can't even bear to think about.
Hence why Sangwon decided that he will just never confess his feelings towards the older boy and keep being his best friend, even if it keeps breaking his own heart.
From Zero by MONSTA X starts playing through his headphones softly, making Sangwon think, I wish could start over with you hyung and tell you how much you actually mean to me… How much I love you and have been wishing you were mine…
Sangwon sighs sadly while looking down at the drinks next to him, "not sure how much longer I can keep this act up though."
"What act?"
Sangwon had been so deep in his thoughts and feelings for Leo, that he didn't register the older boy walking up to him, crouching in front of him and softly taking his pencil out of his hand before it would break in the tight grip of Sangwon’s hand.
Sangwon got so startled, he almost jumped up.
"HEY, can you like, not sneak up on me like that?!" Sangwon clutched his chest while trying to catch his breath. He squinted his eyes annoyed at a laughing Leo.
Leo tried to stop laughing, but seeing Sangwon annoyed and unconsciously pouting, made it very hard for him to do so.
Leo looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, for Sangwons' comfort. When the coast was clear, he dropped the pencil on the ground and reached out to pinch one of Sangwon’s cheeks.
"Stop pouting you little baby, I didn't mean to scare you. What act where you talking about by the way?" Leo asked gently while still giggling.
Sangwon swatted his hand away.
"I'm not pouting and I wasn't scared. You just surprised me," Sangwon rolled his eyes, but the red tip of his ears gave him away. Looking around to make sure no one saw what had happened just now.
"Yeah sure sure, of course. Anyways, answer my question, what act?" Leo kept pushing.
He can't know, Sangwon thought. I will not ruin our friendship.
"The act of trying to tolerate your friends, instead of wanting to sew their mouths shut."
Leo's jaw dropped for a second, not expecting his answer. He snorted at first, which then turned into a full on cackle.
"They're not just my friends. They're your friends as well. At least, they want to be, if you would let them, instead of being stubborn."
"I don't need other friends, I already have friends," Sangwon remarked firmly.
"You only have me. The coffee machine and your favourite mug do not count as your friends," Leo shot back at him.
Sangwon gasped dramatically, "That's just rude of you to say. They never did me any wrong. Although, the coffee machine did malfunction a bit yesterday, so it has wavered my trust in it."
Leo snorted and rolled his eyes.
"yeah, whatever you say hotshot. Just... give the boys a chance please? They really mean well and I know you would get along with them if you just gave them a chance..." Leo suggested carefully with a hint of sadness in his eyes, while putting his hand on Sangwon’s knee.
Sangwon looked at the hand on his knee and then looked up at Leo, into his eyes.
He saw the hint of sadness, which he has seen before whenever Leo gets upset at the fact that Sangwon doesn't let any people into his life. Sangwon knows he just wants the best for him and always tries to subtly get Sangwon come more out of his shell.
I'm going to regret this so much... I hate him for having this effect on me.
He put his own hand on top of Leo's and squeezed it softly, "Fine, I'll think about it okay? Stop being sad hyung, it makes you look ugly."
You could never look ugly in my eyes. You're the most perfect creation that has walked this earth and has blessed my life in ways you couldn't even think of, Sangwon thought while watching Leo jump up and throw a first in the air.
"YES! They're going to be thrilled knowing that you want to be friends with them!"
"I never said that," Sangwon uttered with a deep sigh, looking up at him. Regret already showing on his face.
"Yeah yeah whatever, AND how dare you call me ugly? Have you seen this masterpiece of a face? Even Picasso wouldn't be able to recreate this," Leo cupped his own face with a flower pose.
Sangwon chuckled while rolling his eyes. "whatever you say idiot."
He tried not to stare at the older boy, because he was right. He has never seen a more beautiful person. Inside and out.
He shook his head to keep himself composed.
Don't be obvious.
Sangwon quickly started picking up his things and putting them in his bag, so they could go home.
Leo shot him a confident grin and reached his hand out to pull Sangwon up after he was done packing up.
Sangwon reached up and took his hand. Leo hoisted him up.
For a few seconds they stood next to each other, just feeling the warmth of their intertwined hands and the light breeze around them.
Sangwon gave a deep sigh and let go of Leo's hand, in favour of grabbing his bag and getting their drinks and calming his almost exploding heart.
He passed Leo his pink lemonade, "Hyung, I got you your favourite. I think it has watered down a bit while I was waiting for you, but it should be fine."
"Aww, thanks Wonie, you're the best!" Leo beamed with a grateful smile.
"You're very welcome hyung," Sangwon followed with a sweet smile, just reserved for Leo.
Leo took the drink from him, fingers grazing each other’s during the pass of the cold, damp cup. They looked at each other for a few more seconds until Sangwon cleared his throat.
"Shall we get going hyung? I think it's going to rain soon, so it's better that we leave now before we get soaked and smell like a wet dog."
Leo laughed while shaking his head, "You're impossible. Let's go home idiot."
Sangwon shot him a wink while they started walking and said, "You're the idiot."
‘’By the way hyung, what happened to your knee? Did you hurt yourself?’’ Sangwon was looking down at the others knee that peaked through his ripped baggy jeans. A long, red scar decorated the pale skin.
''Oh that,’’ Leo looked down at the mention of his knee and then back up at Sangwon ‘’It’s nothing honestly, I tripped while walking up the stairs, so the steps grazed my knee a bit. It’s not bleeding or anything now, just a red mark, so nothing to worry about!’’
Sangwon pouted a bit, while rolling his eyes, ‘’Be careful idiot, I still need you in one piece okay?’’
I wish you knew how much I actually need you in my life... I don’t think I can live without you hyung..
Leo held back a laugh, softly chuckling instead.
‘’Don’t worry, you won’t get rid of me that easily.’’
While walking home, the two naturally gravitated towards each other. Shoulders brushing from time to time. Sometimes a hand brushing against the others.
Sangwon took a deep breath and without thinking twice, his right hand wrapped around Leo's left hand. Slowly intertwining their fingers, he kept looking forward while walking. Ears completely red, not daring to look back at Leo, who was already looking at him.
Leo let out a small, silent gasp at the unexpected contact and looked around first. There were some people walking down the street, but Sangwon didn't even pass them a glance. Didn't care that he showed affection towards Leo in public.
Leo smiled softly to himself and gave his hand a soft, but noticeable squeeze, while looking down shyly with a pink flush on his cheeks.
Cute.. he's such a dork, Leo thought.
Sangwon felt it and had to stop himself from grinning like crazy, ears turning even more red. He instead settled for a small, pleased smile. Still looking forward as the two continued walking.
With their hands swaying back and forth in between them, flushed cheeks and red ears, the two walked home in a comfortable silence no one dared to disturb.
Not knowing that the next day, their lives would change forever.