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Court's life wasn't pretty.
He never had the luxury to relax, be in someone's arms and feel safe. He told himself it was his line of work preventing him from that, but he knew he was fooling himself.
His dad was an abusive piece of shit and his mom an alcoholic. He didn't blame his mom. If he was in her place and had a husband like that, he would drink himself into oblivion too.
His dad thought himself a macho man. He thought that boys should like and do boy stuff, and all that crap that sounded straight out of the 50s.
Court, being the oldest, thus an "example" to his younger brothers, would go through most of it. He hated it, but it was either him or his brothers.
Yes, he had two little brothers. Twins. Colt and Ryland. It was like they had come straight out of a sitcom, because they were polar opposites.
Colt was loud, and reckless, always up to something. He was the type of kid to pick up fights with older kids and the one out of the set who dared to talk back to their father.
Ryland was quiet, and skittish, his head always up in the clouds. Unlike his twin, he hated fighting with others, and was usually unsuccessful in protecting himself. It was actually one of the reasons why Colt would get into as many fights as he did.
It was the reason why their dad didn't like Ryland. He was too "girly", and that he should "man up". Most parents would reprimand the kid that would get into fights, not the kid they get into fights for.
"Why did you let your brother fight for you?! You're a grown man, ACT LIKE IT!" He would yell at a crying Ryland with glasses askew and tears and snot running down his face. He would stutter apologies as their father would yell at him and shake him by the shoulders, as if he could shake some sense into him.
Court always made sure to step up before Colt did. If anyone was going to get a beating for standing up for his brother, it shouldn't be the 10 year old. That always made their dad angrier.
Court always felt like a failure whenever he saw his father lay a hand on his brothers. It was one thing if he hurt him. A whole different thing if he hurt his brothers.
He still remembered the day where the glass tipped over. It was hard to forget.
Court had only been gone from home for a few minutes. Fifteen, maybe? "Go buy me some cigarettes." Dad had ordered. A simple order. He had done it before.
But when he came came back, he was greeted with screaming.
"STOP, YOU'RE HURTING HIM!"
He had dropped the bag with cigarette boxes, Skittles and jellybeans, and was headed to the twins' room but stopped when he passed by the bathroom door.
His dad was kneeled infront of the bathtub, right behind an also kneeling Ryland and holding the boy's head underwater. Ryland's hands flaid desperately, while Colt was crying and hitting his fists on their dad's back as he begged.
"No, no, STOP IT!" He cried.
"Stop fighting for your brother! He needs to learn!" He finally yanked Ryland's head out of the water. His glasses were gone and he was coughing out water and he was crying. The man pulled at his hair, eliciting a cry from the boy and talked into his ear. "Are you done being a pussy? Will you fight back for ONCE in your life?!"
Ryland whimpered, because what else was there to do? He tried to stutter out an apology, and right when his dad was about to dunk his head back underwater, Court finally unfroze and stepped in.
He demanded an explanation from him, asking what the Hell he was was doing. Then their dad tried to approach the boys, who were curled up on the floor with Colt taking care of Ryland, but Court put himself between them and their dad.
"Hit me! I can take it, just leave the boys out of it!" He had tried to sound strong, defiant. He didn't want his baby brothers to be scared any more than they already were.
Court never really understood his father, quite frankly. He thought that talking back and fighting made you a man, yet the moment Court stood up against him he would get furious. Then again, men like his father were a mystery.
Fortunately for the kids, his dad accepted his sacrifice.
It wasn't long after that when Court snuck into his parents room (two beds, of course) and stole his dad's gun from the drawer. And it wasn't long until the apartment was empty, with mom off to work because someone had to keep the family afloat, and the boys at school. It was just them.
Court would have been a liar if he said he hadn't enjoyed the way his dad begged. The way he tried to command him to put the gun down, the way his voice wavered as he did.
Of course, the bang was loud and the walls were thin enough that someone in the building called the cops. No, no, why would they call the cops when they heard heard crying and yelling?
Court never saw his baby brothers after the trial. Not because they didn't visit. But because he couldn't help the shame at the thought of being seen by them behind the glass.
That didn't stop the silent tears from shedding eight months later when he was told they stopped visiting.
*
"Wait, you have a brother?"
Court mentally cursed himself at having this information slip. So much for being a former CIA agent, just to have bits and pieces slip from his mouth to a teenager.
"Just eat your food kid." He ordered gruffly and interlocked his hands together on the table. Wow. The table was made out of table.
"Oooooh no, now I'm curious." Claire set her burger down and wiped her fingers with the napkin. "You've never told me anything about your family."
"You don't need to know."
"But I want to know." The girl had that mischievous gleam in her eye Court was all too familiar with by now. "Did you have a dog?" She rested her chin on her first.
Court made sure to meet her gaze and kept his eyes calculating. "No."
"A cat?"
"No."
"A goldfish?"
"No."
"Hmmm..." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "A bird!"
Court couldn't help the way the corners of his lips turned upwards. "Neither. My dad said that pets are unnecessary." He huffed through his nostrils and leaned back against his seat and folded his arms together. "That they're a waste of money and resources and all they do is shit everywhere."
Claire chuckled. "They don't if you train them."
"Yeah, well," he sighed and looked at the ceiling. "My dad was never really a man of patience."
The girl hummed and nodded in acknowledgement. Then, "Tell me about your brother."
"No."
"C'monnnnnn, tell meeeee!" She lightly kicked his leg from underneath the table.
"Absolutely not." He refused.
"If you don't tell me, I will act as if I'm having heart problems and cause a scene." Claire shot back smugly.
Court narrowed his narrowed his eyes slightly in a daring way. "Alright, sure." He shrugged.
It was then when Claire's face morphed into one of distress. She started hyperventilating, her breaths deepening and quickening more and more, second after second. She clutched her heart and her eyes moved wildly all over the McDonald's restaurant, until they landed on him. Terrified, pleading eyes, quietly asking for help. She was good at this. Too good at this.
He gave in embarrassingly quickly. "Alright, fine, just cut it out."
"Yey!" She straightened her back and fixed her hair as if nothing had happened.
Court stared at her satisfied expression. Stupid Bambi doe eyes... He sighed and looked down at the table as he tried to collect his thoughts.
"Well... I have two brothers, actually. They're twins-"
"How come you never speak about them then?" Claire interrupted him and took a sip from her drink.
"Why would I?"
"I dunno." She shrugged. "To get to know you better? I mean, you basically know my entire life story while I know nothing about you. It's only fair."
Court chuckled and shook his head. He looked out of the window, taking in the darkness of the night. Memories surfaced back, memories he had tried to shove deep in the back of his brain. Images of two nearly identical children swam behind his eyes. He rubbed his face with one hand to shake the emotions off. He looked back at the teenager sitting across from him and staring at his face intently.
"Like I tried to explain," he started. "I have two twin brothers. I'm the oldest. I took care of them, and whatever else big siblings do. They were good kids." He looked at the table.
"What happened to them?" He heard Claire ask.
Court shifted his eyes to the ceiling. "Well, after I was put in jail I never saw them again." He knocked his knuckles on the table once as he dropped his head with a sigh. He finally found the gut to look at the young girl as he opened up about his family. "But, from what I know, Colt is a stuntman. He's in a bunch of movies. Colt Seavers?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Hm..." Claire pressed her lips together in thought. "It doesn't ring a bell."
Court chuckled. Memories flashed in his mind, of a young, reckless boy, climbing on trees and jumping from high surfaces. "Of course it doesn't. He's a stuntman."
"C'mon, what about your other brother?" The girl pressed.
The image of another young boy, this one quiet and always reading a science book borrowed from the library came into his vision, but he shook it off. "Ryland? Heh. He was a middle school teacher."
"Who knows, he might have been my teacher." Claire teased.
Court chuckled at that. "Yeah, well. I don't know, he was afraid of his own shadow as a kid, but then he became an astronaut."
"'Astronaut'?" She repeated in surprise. "Damn. Your family's kinda cool."
He smirked. "Yeah. The one NASA sent out to save Earth a while ago." Court smiled slightly with pride and with grief. "The Hail Mary."
Claire's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head. "Wait, I remember that! The Hail Mary?"
Court nodded, his small smile wavering. "Yeah. Ryland Grace. Does that ring any bells?"
Claire nodded. "Yeah! Wait... Isn't it like... A one-way trip?"
He nodded again, his smile almost gone. "It is."
"... Oh..." Claire visibly deflated at the news. She took her cup in her hands and drank her beverage.
A heavy silence fell over them. Court took a sip out of his own drink. He'd prefer beer, but he supposed Coca-cola could do.
He sighed heavily and put the cup back down on the table and leaned back against his seat.
"... Why don't you talk with Colt?" Claire uttered carefully. "Ryland is gone, but... He's still here, right? Better late than never."
The kid meant good. Court knew it. But her suggestion made his throat feel constricted.
Seeing his baby brother after so long... He dreaded to see up close how much he changed. Stalking his social media was one thing. Social media made everything feel more artificial. The thought of meeting Colt (or more accurately track down) and seeing up close the man he became, seeing the life he built... It would make the passage of time feel more real.
He shook his head and kept that mask of stoicness on. "He's doing fine without me. He doesn't need me to ruin it."
"You won't ruin it." She objected. "Colt is like, your only family, right? Why would you purposely keep yourself away from him?"
To protect him. "My family matters are non of your business." He said it low, clear enough for her to hear.
Claire huffed angrily and leaned against her seat. "At least you have a family." She muttered angrily. She took the straw in her mouth and stubbornly stared outside the window.
Court felt a pang of guilt at her words he would rather not feel. He understood where she was coming from. A girl, still adjusting in teenagehood who saw her last remaining family bleed out and die a brutal death for her sake. He understood how absurd this sounded from her perspective, having family and actively avoiding it. If she knew where he was coming from, she would understand his decision.
It was best that she didn't though. Let her be angry at him. It was best if she didn't know why he couldn't face his little brother. He was the murderer of their father. Yes, he was an asshole, but still their father.
The tense silence was broken by Claire's curious question, anger having died down for the time being.
"Wait... I'm confused." She put her cup down. "Colt Seavers? Ryland Grace? These are too different last names. Why?"
Court chuckled once despite himself and glanced to the side. "Knowing Colt, I can only assume he changed his last name to sound 'cooler'. Ryland took our mother's name."
"Oh... I mean, if my last name was 'Six', I would change it too." Court rolled his eyes at the girl's smirk, one of his own creeping up on his face. "Or is that your first name? Damn, your parents must have hated you."
"Eat your food kid. We need to get going soon."
"Great. I can't wait to go to yet another shitty motel..." She complained humourlessly with an eye roll and took a bite out her burger.
Court looked outside the window again and into the starless sky.
He missed his brothers. He couldn't deny that, and he hated that he couldn't. He wished he could lie to himself about it. He knew he wouldn't see either brother for different reasons. A part of him wished he could.
But no. It was for the best.
Colt should be living his life as a stuntman with his fiance and his dog. And Ryland... He better save the damn planet.
They didn't need him. The brother who abandoned them both.
Besides, he couldn't focus on his family anyway. Protecting and taking care of Claire was a priority.