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Mom’s embrace is loose like shadows on pearls the way it slips and fits right on my skin.
She seeps away and faces mesh with hers
Azula’s lips like big red slits with my name inside.
“I love you, Zuko. Never forget.”
I don’t the way Azula curls white the whole time the room warms until dad’s eyes are on mine and turn the heat to rock and boulders roll on his shoulders when there’s tension but Azula never nerves.
She keels on his arm like life only follows to dye the flat of his wrist with her fingers and he opens and pushes her unhinged. “Show me what you learnt today.”
She does and it’s magic, his face is somber but something sets less hard for her, a hand on mom’s hairpiece and it’s gold in his eyes, she melts and says he said
it’s the only way to have control when you live someone else’s words,
You said I can play with Zuko today.
Mom’s not here to say no and I can’t escape when the prize is getting pulled in blue ash until enough mornings pass and wash all but the pain glues.
Azula's smile leaks and licks itself and nerves hiss red when she’s close and she wants me to feel something with her
past her clothes the world is different and it sticks a bit with something like salve and I hate her, I hate I exist, I hate life leaves like that, I hate wars and their soldiers and tea-spills-to-be,
I hate Lu Ten had to die so Uncle could see he didn’t,
I hate life,
I hate death,
I hate Azula and I hate mom and dad and how they made me and her and that second peels scars and sears and I scream when she reels and I rein her head hard and die when the kiss comes and muscles thaw out cold.
There’s no life after. Just the haze and untaste she gave me and three cups of dad’s Favourite she let me finish.
My eyes burn and her shape is empty and I come and go in moon lakes and shadows drape long and some voice sings with her face,
Zuko. My love, please listen to me. Everything I’ve done. Never forget who you are.
She swims in black and white and Azula’s grip slips.