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Tommy stared at his phone , he has been scrolling on twitter for over 2 hours , and its not like anyone has tried checking up on him anyways. (thats a lie. Even he knows it. Hes too engulfed in his own troubles to see everyone trying to help him.)
After a while , he got sick of just seeing the same bullshit on his timeline over and over again. The blonde decided to maybe go down to the kitchen to get some food, yea!, surely food will fill the gaping hole in his heart. No one else can see it, why does no one else see it?, he really thought he'd made his suffering obvious enough for his family already! guess not.
Maybe he just has to try harder.
Doesn't matter, thought the blonde, I don't need them anyways. . he sighed , The teenager got up from bed , barely even having the energy to move. I'll be fine, I've always been fine, what makes this time any different?
he forced himself to walk to the kitchen and open the fridge door, no one was in the house, it was a monday, Techno was in college, Wilbur was having a band practice (or whatever), and Philza was at work, and yet, Tommy didn't go to school, its not like he would've paid attention in class anyways, what was the point? Whats the the point of trying to study when he will fail anyways? what was the point of living?
No, no, he promised his family he'd get better, they'd be mad if he relapsed all of a sudden, surely.
He reached into the fridge and grabbed a soda.
But.. Did they even care about the blonde? would they care if i died? would they cry? would they laugh? would they mourn or celebrate?
.. The blonde sighed and held into the soda in his hand tightly, this.. This wasn't right to do, it would be bad for him to relapse, he knew that! his family told him that alot of times!
My family lies alot, what if they're lying this time too??
The teen was starting to listen to the voices in his head telling him it was alright, maybe they were right! Who was he to tell them they're wrong?? He's never been the smart one in the family, everyone always told him that not knowing how much it hurt.
Tommy didn't even realise he was on the bathroom floor , his wrists already covered in a mix of old scars and newly made ones, his arms now decorated with scars that both calmed him and reminded him of how utterly broken he was.
Maybe the voices were right, maybe he should just end it, he doesn't think he'll be able to face his family when they find him covered in scars and bloodied and face covered in tears.
Wait— Since when was he crying???, big men dont cry!
He sighed, as much as he hated living, he feared surviving his attempt and having to see his family's worried faces, hear their sobs and yells over him trying to kill himself.
thats right, his family.. cared. they would cry, they would be sad. He doesn't want to inconvenience them anymore.
So, despite his mind yelling at him to just do it already, he decided it wasn't worth it..
..
This will be a bitch to clean up.