Chapter Text
“This is blumming stupid, Grian. I’m fine,” Joel spoke, annoyed at this stupid idea. He didn’t need to go to therapy. He was fine.
“Convince Etho then. You traumatized them, Joel.” Grian stated glancing at Joel.
“They weren’t the one who almost killed themself,” Joel muttered angrily.
“You guys are soulbound, Joel! You would’ve killed them too!” Grian said, slightly, raising his voice.
“They’re fine,” Joel said, obviously upset and annoyed; he stared out the window, waiting for Grian’s response. It was silent, though. Joel didn’t like it when it was silent. Grian sighed, he opened his mouth, then decided against speaking. “Grian, are... are they okay?” Joel asked quietly but loud enough for him to hear it.
“They haven’t spoken to anyone in the last 4 months,” Grian said flatly.
“What,” Joel said, sitting up straight and looking at Grian. “Nothing? Not a single word??” He looked at Grian, who was watching the road intensely as he drove.
“Not a single word, not even Bdubs could get them to speak. They just stared at the scars.”
“I- oh- have they been taking care of themself?” Joel asks, starting to mess with his sleeves. They felt tight, but they weren’t.
“No, no not really. Cleo and Bdubs won't leave them alone, so they’ll be fine.”
“Can we visit them after?” Joel asks, as he fidgets with his sleeve. He looked over towards Grian watching as he nodded. “Yeah, yeah, we can” Joel slightly smiles at those words. Joel waits as Grian parks the car; they take off their seatbelts and walk inside.
“I’ll stay here waiting,” Grian said as Joel walked away.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
“That was so blumming stupid” Joel said as he’s still walking towards Grian. Joel watched as Grian rolled his eyes and stood up.
“It’s the best option though,” Grian said.
“Yeah, yeah. Can we go visit Eefo now?” Joel asked, looking towards Grian, who nodded.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Joel got lost in his thoughts. What if Etho hated him? What if Etho ignored him? The brunette was getting overwhelmed by them; his breath was shaking, and his eyes blurred. What if Etho wanted him out of his life?! Tears started to fall. ‘It’s all your fault,’ Joel thought, and it was. He tried to end it. He tried to end their lives. He could faintly hear Grian saying his name, but it wasn’t enough to get him out of his thoughts. Joel covered his ears, putting his legs up. Make it stop, he thought. It didn’t; it wouldn't. “Joel” Grian called out. He felt a hand on his shoulder and quickly pulled away from it. Soon enough Joel calmed down a bit and realized what had just happened. The car was parked Infront of Etho and Gems flat. Joel looked at Grian, who was staring at him, clearly worried about what had happened.
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.” Grian spoke as Joel stared at him.
“No! I’m going to them now.” Joel said, practically jumping out of the car, he was moving so fast. The brunette ran up the stairs quickly stopping at Etho and Gems door. He took a deep breath and knocked. After a few seconds, Gem answered the door with wide eyes; she definitely wasn’t expecting him.
“Joel- what are you doing here?” She asked as Grian caught up to them.
“I- I needed to know how Eefo was doing...” Gem stared at him and sighed.
“Come in, they won’t talk to you though. They won’t talk to anyone. Cleo, Bdubs, and I have been taking turns watching over them and making sure they take care of themself.” Gem said as she opened her door to let them in. Joel and Grian followed Gem in shutting the door behind them. Joel and Grian took off their shoes, knowing how much Gem and Etho hated when people didn’t take their shoes off at the door. After doing so Joel looked around even though he’s been here probably more than 50 times. Soon enough he saw Etho who was sitting on the couch watching their tv. He watched as Etho looked over at him; their eyes widened in shock. Joel watched as Etho scooted away; they looked terrified of him.
“Eefo” Joel spoke; it was difficult to speak. Joel wanted to cry; he felt the lump forming in his throat. It was his fault.
He watched as Etho shook his head aggressively; it was just them. Gem and Grian were talking outside, probably something about them.
“Eefo” Joel repeated as he took a weary step forward.
“S..sta-y... aw-ay" Etho stuttered terribly. Joel was shocked. Was that the first time they spoke? Telling him to stay away? Joel took a step back.
“I won’t hurt you,” Joel said slowly and calmly for once.
“H-ow do I t...tru-st yo-u?” Etho asked; clinging to a pillow. Joel froze. Shit, Etho was right how could they trust him? Joel looked at the ground his tail was stilled and kept close to himself. He looked at the fox ears pinned to their head; tail on their lap.
“I- you can’t. You have no reason to. I almost killed you, and I should’ve thought about you when I did that, but I didn’t” Joel watched as Etho turned their head. He knew this was useless. “I’m sorry Eefo, you have no reason to forgive me but just take care of yourself?” Joel stared at Etho as tears ran down his face.
“Yo-u shou..ld go... now.” Etho said avoiding eye contact with Joel. Joel nodded
“Okay” and went to put his shoes on. “Try to speak to them, they miss it” Joel said before walking out the door. “C'mon Grian, we’re leaving”