Chapter Text
Taira liked to think his best days were ahead of him. It beat the alternative.
He was grateful that the owner of the convenience store he worked at in high school, Mr. Sato, was willing to hire him for the duration of summer break. The only other option would have been gig work, and even he didn’t hate himself enough to do that. On a day like today, he was grateful for the roof over his head.
Taira gave a bleary approximation of a smile to the customer as they walked out into the summer storm.
“Thank you, please come again.”
At least he was out of the rain. At least he was employed. At least he wasn’t flunking out of college. Boy, it sure was pouring out there. At least, at least, at least…
Taira wanted to scream. This was ridiculous! He was ridiculous! He felt like he was about to explode. Why was he so nervous? He was the one who asked to keep hanging out after high school! It hadn’t even been half a year! They had kept texting since the car ride they went on right before class began, so it wasn’t like a little meetup should be a big deal.
So why did his upcoming meeting with Azuma make him so nervous?
The question was a rhetorical one. He knew the reason. He was in love with Azuma, and he thought maybe, just maybe, she liked him back.
An idiot might see that situation and think “Wow, how lucky for them! All they need to do is admit their feelings and things will be great!” The fool. The absolute rube. This was a disaster. Taira wasn’t an idiot. He knew that the longer things were left unsaid, the worse they got. The awkwardness was compounding with each text, each phone call.
It had taken a minor miracle for Taira to even get to the point where he could acknowledge his own feelings. To go so far as to voice them? Might as well just become a hermit in the woods, take a vow of silence. Live off morning dew and berries and give advice to wandering travelers in return for gold…
Wait, what did that even mean? He was so nervous his thoughts were becoming a sort of free-association word game powered by pessimism. It was crazy to think that despite everything, he was somehow less pessimistic now than he used to be.
And who did he have to thank for that?
Lots of people, actually. But mostly—
“A-hem.” Azuma cleared her throat. “Earth to Shuji?”
Taira made a very undignified squeak and jumped back.
“Uh, how long have you been there?” he asked.
Azuma laughed. Damn her. It sounded better in person than over the phone. Oh god, he was in serious trouble.
“It’s been like, five minutes. I had time to pick out some snacks.”
She gestured to the variety of snacks set on the counter.
“I don’t suppose I need to tell you that it’s rude to react like your customer just pulled out a gun,” she continued.
Taira composed himself and began scanning the snacks.
“An armed robbery would certainly break up the monotony,” he said, trying to crack a smile in what he hoped was a suave manner.
“Isn’t your shift over yet?”
“Soon. The guy replacing me said he’d be a bit late, so I’m covering for him.”
“Gallant as always,” Azuma teased.
“Oh, don’t think I won’t call in that particular favor,” he retorted.
Wait, she used his first name. This was killing him. He might actually die. What was this? Banter? Flirting? How do you communicate interest without explicitly saying it? God, he was such a loser. How do people do this? Surely it can’t be this hard for everyone, or the human race would have gone extinct! It was like the more he admitted his feelings, the harder it was to act on them. Outside his own head, literally nothing had changed. The words were the same as they always were. But the stuff that used to be thoughtless was now intentional, and the effort was beginning to crush him.
He wished he could go with the flow the way Azuma did. She always seemed so… so… cool.
Azuma was gonna to lose it. This was it. Her last straw.
It was his little smile. The bastard had to know what he was doing. He must be deriving some sort of sick pleasure out of leading her on, it was the only explanation.
She had thought that spending some time away from Taira might help her get a handle on her feelings. Not get rid of them; she had accepted that she liked the guy, and after their moment together at graduation she accepted that she wasn’t going to be able to just move on without at least trying to make it work. But she thought maybe she’d at least learn to manage her feelings by now. Shouldn’t acknowledging them make it easier? Didn’t feel like it. In fact, she felt like an idiot.
He did this to her. She used to never get this worked up about guys. Dating was just one of those things you kinda enjoyed, kinda put up with, like spending time with relatives on the holidays. And then he had the audacity to suggest that she should expect more for herself. Now all of a sudden the stakes were insanely high. Nothing had prepared her for dealing with a crush on a guy she actually liked.
Oh no, he was staring at her. How long had she just been standing there? Say something now.
“What happened to haircuts, by the way? Do they not have barbershops where you go to school?”
Girl. What the fuck was that.
Taira cracked another smile.
“For your information I wanted to try growing it out a little,” he said. “I guess it doesn’t work for me.”
Great. She just crushed the spirit of the most depressed man she knew. Truly she was a master of flirting.
“Oh no, it’s fine!” she said a bit too loudly. “Just surprising is all. Really, if you like it you should keep it. I mean, I cut my hair short pretty much immediately. New school, new me and all.”
Taira blinked.
“Are you… ok?” he asked. “I mean, are you feeling ok? You look a bit, uh, feverish. Do you feel cold?”
“Never better!”
Admittedly, she actually did feel a bit under the weather. But there was no way she was letting a bit of allergies get in the way of this hang.
“Hold still,” Taira said, frowning slightly.
He leaned forward and gently pressed the back of his palm against her forehead. Azuma froze. Taira’s face was a mask of concentration as he studied her, just a few inches away. After what felt like an eternity, he pulled back and nodded to himself.
“Yep. You’re running a fever,” he said. “You really shouldn’t be walking around in this weather.”
Azuma shivered. She couldn’t tell if it was because of the fever or the look of concern on Taira’s face.
“I… I’m totally fine,” she objected. “It’s really not that big of a deal. Don’t think you’re gonna weasel your way out of hanging out with me just because I’m a little sick.”
Taira pulled a face.
“I’m not interested in catching something from you,” he said.
That was a pretty reasonable concern. And yet… the thought of just giving up filled her with dread.
“No,” she found herself saying.
Taira cocked his head to the side.
“No?”
“No.”
“That doesn’t really have anything to do with my previous—.”
“Too bad!”
Taira’s expression reverted back to concern.
“I think it might be worse than I thought, you aren’t making any sense,” he said.
He held up a finger.
“One sec.”
He went into the back. After some muffled conversation, he returned, stepping from behind the counter.
“Let’s get you home,” he said.
Azuma wanted to object. She really did. But admittedly, she was starting to feel like shit. She pulled out an umbrella and put it over both of them as they stepped into the rain. When Taira took the umbrella from her and held it, she didn’t even have the strength to complain.
“Fine,” she muttered. “My apartment isn’t that far.”
“Why did you get your own apartment anyways? Your school is way closer to your parents’ house than mine is, and I’m stuck commuting cause I couldn’t find a place in time.”
“Are you kidding? I couldn’t get my own place fast enough.”
“Must be nice.”
“It is,” she replied, somewhat smugly. “Worth every yen, best investment of my life.”
She sneezed. Taira shook his head.
“Jeez, you know you could have told me you were sick and canceled?”
“I thought it was allergies.”
“That’s not really the point. You shouldn’t push yourself to hang out when you don’t feel well, that’s a good way to end up feeling worse for longer.”
“Mr. Responsible here,” Azuma muttered.
He rolled his eyes, but smiled a bit at that.
Her apartment was a few minutes away, and most of the walk was silent. They didn’t really need to catch up, since they had been talking pretty frequently since graduation. She hoped he wasn’t neglecting to make friends in college. Sometimes that would happen, right? You fixate on the people you knew from high school, and you miss out on new connections—
“Someone asked me out,” Taira said.
Taira was beginning to suspect that he was insane. Why would he say that? Why now? He hadn’t mentioned it when it happened! He had been pretty deliberate not to bring it up, in fact!
Azuma stiffened slightly.
“Wow,” she said. “No kidding.”
She sounded… angry? Something like that for sure. Taira felt like he was shrinking into a singularity of cringe.
“Yeah, totally weird, right?” he continued, voice high-pitched. “I didn’t even know her all that well, she’s in one of my classes and asked if I wanted to go on a date out of nowhere. College sure is full of surprises.”
“Uhuh.”
“I felt super awkward because I didn’t even remember her name.”
He tried to laugh. It came out as more of a choking noise. He cleared his throat and continued, inexplicably.
“I had to tell her I was flattered, but I really had to focus on my studies.”
WHAT? NO! Now it sounded like he was trying to soft launch a rejection of Azuma!
“I don’t think that was really true though, I just panicked. Same old self-destructive Taira! Talk about hopeless, right?”
Azuma didn’t respond.
Kill him. Just end it all.
“I’m sure you’ve had to turn plenty of people down, right Azuma?”
“Not really,” she finally said.
The next few minutes of the walk were so awkward, Taira thought he might melt into a puddle.
“I’ve never rejected anyone who has asked me out,” Azuma suddenly said. “Even a couple of guys who I really should have known better than to date. But I guess I could probably manage it now.”
Oh god, now she was soft-launching a rejection of him. This was a disaster that put the Hindenburg to shame.
“Thanks to you,” she continued. “You made me realize I could do better.”
Taira was so caught up in his spiral of doom, it took a second to recognize the compliment.
“Uh. You’re welcome?”
She nodded.
“Exactly. So now it’s my turn to give you advice. Sometimes those relationships weren’t so bad. They didn’t really work out, but they were fun. You shouldn’t just reject a girl because you don’t know her all that well. That’s why you go on a date in the first place, dummy.”
Azuma was finally beginning to feel the symptoms of whatever illness she had contracted. Either that, or her body was trying to kill her for what she had just said. Was she trying to encourage him to date other girls? I mean, it was good advice, but come on!
“I guess…” Taira said.
He stopped talking. She thought that was the end of it. Then he started again, faster, as if running from his own words.
“I guess I kinda lied about the reason I rejected her. I didn’t panic. The thing is, I was sorta… hung up. On someone. So of course I couldn’t go on a date. That would be pretty screwed up, right?”
Hung up. On someone.
Azuma kinda suspected—or hoped—that Taira might like her back. He was hard to read sometimes, but graduation felt like a turning point of some kind. So, was he talking about her?
“Uh, yeah, that makes sense,” she said lamely. “If you have your eye on someone it’s kinda fuckboy behavior to date someone else.”
She smiled, somewhat mischievously.
“Who would have thought college Taira would have game? My little misanthrope is all grown up and breaking hearts.”
Taira snorted back a laugh.
“I wouldn’t call it game,” he said. “I think college is just more my speed.”
“Lucky you,” Azuma groused. “I’m lowkey hating college so far.”
“Really?”
“One of my professors was a huge pain in the ass, she nearly failed me because I missed a day.”
She neglected to mention that day had been the fifth such day in one month. Didn’t seem relevant. It wasn’t that she was a bad student, the course was just one of those required classes that sucked the life out of the first year of college.
“Wow, sounds rough,” Taira said. “I dunno, I guess it makes sense. High school was better than middle school, now college is better than high school. At this rate I’m gonna have an amazing retirement.”
“Wow, you say it’s better but I’m not even there,” Azuma said, mock-hurt. “Can’t be that great.”
“We still hang out,” Taira said, rolling his eyes. “At least, we will when you aren’t sick.”
“You know, a real gentleman would offer to stay and take care of me.”
Taira made a sudden noise Azuma had never heard from him before. Sort of like a squeak? She glanced over at him. To her shock, he was blushing.
“Eh, heh, I mean, that would be kinda,” he stammered. “I’m sure you don’t want me hanging around. And if you haven’t even prepared for a guest…”
Hold on now. He was flustered. Azuma thought about this. Cute. But more importantly, his emotions were saying a hell of a lot more than his words. Maybe this was a good opportunity.
“I can’t believe you would be so rude as to drop me off, leave me to suffer,” she began. “Honestly, it makes me feel so… used. The moment I need a helping hand, you run off? What if I get worse? What if I die! And my last thought is, ‘Why did Taira leave me?’”
“Laying it on a bit thick, are we?” Taira noted, embarrassment turning to irritation. “Jeez, if you want me to stick around, just say so.”
“Ok. I want you to stay and take care of me. Now what?”
“Well, I guess it would be pretty fucked up of me to say no,” Taira muttered. “Besides, you clearly can’t take care of yourself. You’d probably run off and get even sicker.”
“Exactly. You’re so full of wisdom, o wise one.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m some ancient monk.”
Azuma mock bowed.
“Sorry, Taira-sensei. I will commit seppuku to retain my honor.”
“You act like Suzuki when you’re sick,” Taira said. “Kinda says a lot about her, actually.”
“I’m gonna tell her you said that.”
“Go right ahead. How is she these days, by the way?”
“Good. A lot of us who went to school near here still hang out regularly, so I see her pretty often. I love getting to see those crazy kids. Makes me feel young again.”
“Now which of us sounds like an old person?”
“You know you’re free to join, right? It’s not like you moved a million kilometers away or anything.”
“Yeah, yeah. Trust me, if my schedule worked out I would. I’ll at least try to now that it’s summer.”
“Hold up,” Azuma said suddenly. “We’re here.”
Taira looked around the small apartment. It was tidy, sensibly decorated, and… well, it felt like the place an adult lived. He thought about his room in his parents’ house, still full of stuff from his childhood. The maturity gap was embarrassing.
“Ok,” he muttered. “I’ll make some tea, you sit down.”
“Yes sir,” Azuma said, saluting half-assedly and turning to the living room.
Taira buried himself in his work for a second. He enjoyed working. It cleared his head, gave him a goal he could pursue. After a few minutes, he handed a large mug of hot tea to Azuma, and put a makeshift cold pack on her forehead.
“Wow, getting the VIP experience,” Azuma said.
She was sitting on the couch, with a blanket wrapped around her. She was still wearing her outfit, Taira noticed. He reached over and took the collar of her blouse between his thumb and forefinger. It was soaked from the rain, despite his best efforts with the umbrella.
“You really need to get out of these clothes,” he muttered, half to himself.
Azuma knew what Taira meant. He was clearly saying she shouldn’t be wearing damp clothes. A very sensible statement. And yet the way he looked her up and down, the way he spoke so softly, it was like a punch in the gut.
“Right!” she exclaimed, standing up so quickly she nearly spilled her tea. “You are so right! Let me just…”
She nearly sprinted for her bedroom. At the door, she whirled around.
“You stay right there! Don’t even think about moving!”
“Huh?”
Taira looked genuinely baffled as Azuma slammed the door. She pressed her back against it as if expecting him to try and break in, then slid down, hands clasping her temples, until she ended up sitting on the floor.
Holy shit. What was his problem? He was so self conscious usually, but just now, that seemed so effortless. Was he trying to flirt with her?
She knew she liked him. She’d admitted it a while ago. But fuck. Even if she hadn’t before, that probably would have done it all on its own.
She began to undress. She had, to her vague embarrassment, worn pretty nice underwear today. It wasn’t that she had expected anything to happen. It was more of a confidence thing. Now that she was mid-cold, it felt ridiculous. She searched her drawers for some comfortable, sensible clothes to spend a sick day in. Nope, too sensible. She still wanted to look somewhat good. How did you look good when you were running a fever? She settled for a big tshirt and shorts. She wasn’t gonna be winning any fashion awards, but at least it was a classic vibe. She took a second to grab a pillow from her bed as well.
“Ok, I’m back,” she said, opening the door.
Taira was, as ordered, exactly where she had left him. He glanced up, then threw his hands in front of his eyes and turned away.
“Hey, pants!”
Azuma looked down. The shirt was long enough to cover the shorts. She rolled her eyes and raised the shirt up.
“Don’t worry, dumbass. I’m not that sick.”
Taira glanced between his fingers and relaxed.
“Why do you even own a shirt that big?”
Azuma nearly told him the truth, that it used to belong to one of her exes. She actually had a ton of clothes like that, especially sweaters and hoodies. As far as she was concerned, they were the equivalent of a deposit for a relationship. She caught herself. She used to be better at this, right? More tactful? Less stupid?
“I just like big shirts,” she said lamely. “Comfy.”
Thank goodness Taira didn’t seem to question it.
Azuma made her way back to the couch and prepared to lay down. Taira made as though he were about to stand up and get out of her way.
“Don’t you dare,” Azuma said. “I told you to stay right there, didn’t I?”
“What, still? There’s not enough room on the couch, don’t be stupid.”
“How are you going to nurse me back to health from across the room?”
“I’d just sit next to the couch—“
She pointed a finger at him.
“I am not paying you to think,” she said.
“I didn’t realize I was getting paid at all.”
“You aren’t! Not to think. Now, turn. Criss-cross.”
Taira obeyed, a bemused expression on her face. She set her pillow on his lap and laid down with her head resting on it. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes. It was actually quite comfortable.
“See? It wasn’t that complicated. Overthinking things as always, Shuji.”
“When did this first name stuff start anyways?” he asked.
“I can stop if you want.”
Azuma held her breath.
“No. It’s fine. I don’t mind.”
She was definitely feeling foggier. The Azuma of even a few hours ago would not have put her head in his lap like this.
“Gee, Taira, if you hadn’t noticed I was sick, we’d be halfway through our date by now,” she said. “Gonna be honest, that would have sucked. I guess I have to hand it to you. This is… nice.”
Taira looked down at Azuma’s sleeping face. The inside of his head was empty except for a single word that bounced around like a dvd player logo on a TV.
Date. Date. Date.
It had been nearly an hour since she had dozed off. The ice pack was mostly water by that point, but he held it to her forehead anyways. His legs were starting to cramp.
Date. Date. Date.
Taira was not a confident man. Hell, he was barely a man. In a lot of ways, he felt like he was finally emerging from a state of arrested development that began in middle school and only ended recently. He had improved, but he felt like his improvements were basically just him trying to catch up with everyone else. Everyone else was climbing the mountain, and he had just managed to climb out of the well he had dug for himself. The Taira of a few years ago would have made excuses for why Azuma saying date didn’t mean anything. He might have even assumed it was some sort of joke at his expense. He was past that, but it didn’t mean he knew what to do now.
She was beautiful, even when she was sick.
That was a good thought. He was still learning to cherish those as much as he used to cherish the bad thoughts. It didn’t come naturally, but in this moment, he allowed himself a morsel of happiness.
Azuma suddenly snored. It was the loudest snore he had heard in his entire life. The sound was so sudden and surprising that he jolted back. That was enough to wake her up.
“Hey,” she muttered. “What gives, dude?”
Taira couldn’t answer. He was shaking with suppressed laughter. Finally, he couldn’t contain it. His stupid laugh escaped.
Azuma looked up at Taira incredulously.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded groggily.
“You snore worse than my dad,” Taira said between peals of laughter.
Azuma’s already flushed face turned a deeper share of red.
“It’s not that funny!” she said.
Taira took several deep breaths to get his laughter under control.
“Of course it isn’t,” he said. “Nothing funny about that at all.”
“I was having such a nice dream, too,” Azuma muttered.
“Nothing like a fever dream. Hey, do you realize you called our hangout a date?”
Azuma froze.
“Did I?” she asked weakly.
“Mhm.”
“Surely you just misheard me.”
“I don’t think so.”
Azuma looked up at him. From their perspectives, they each seemed upside down to the other.
“I see what’s going on here,” she finally spoke. “I’m on death’s door here, and you swoop in and use my illness to take advantage of me.”
“Huh?”
“You’re getting some sort of kick out of this, aren’t you?”
Taira was suddenly panicked. She thought he was a creep! This is the worst case scenario! Alarm bells and klaxons went off in his head. He began looking for an escape route. Her head was still in his lap! He was trapped!
Actually, wouldn’t she have moved away from him if she was serious?
He looked back down at her. She was smiling slightly.
“That’s not funny,” he managed to say. “You of all people should know not to tease me like that.”
“I think it’s good for you,” she said. “Exposure therapy.”
“And hey, you changed the subject.”
Taira flicked Azuma on the forehead.
“Ow!” she yelped, although it hadn’t been hard enough to actually sting.
“What did you mean by date?” Taira continued.
Welp. Azuma had done it now. Nothing left but to admit it and hope they could stay friends after the fallout.
“Um. Well. I guess. Maybe. I wanted it to be a date.”
Each word was quieter than the one before, until Azuma was basicallly whispering. She pulled the blanket over her head.
“But you know, it’s not a big deal,” she continued. “So don’t get all weird about it. Nothing wrong with a cool hang between two good friends.”
“Hey. Shino.”
Azuma’s brain buzzed at the sound of Taira saying her first name. She peaked out of the blanket. He was looking at her with an expression she couldn’t really place. It was like… he usually had all this tension, and it was all gone. Relief?
Then the concern came back.
“You’re crying?” he asked incredulously.
She reached a hand up and touched her cheek. It was wet. Wow. She was crying. She hadn’t even noticed.
“Maybe it’s a bit of a big deal,” she said slowly. “God, I must look so pathetic right now.”
Now his expression was stern. He had a very expressive face when he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings from the world, Azuma thought to herself.
“Don’t say that,” he said firmly. “Jeez, you sound like… me. It kinda pisses me off.”
He paused thoughtfully.
“Is that what it’s like to hear me talk shit about myself?” he wondered aloud. “I can’t believe you put up with me all these years. Anyways, don’t say that. You don’t look pathetic. I mean, considering you saw me cry at graduation I’d be pretty hypocritical if I judged anyone else.”
“I cried then too,” Azuma pointed out, rubbing her eyes.
Taira closed his eyes.
“It’s funny,” he said slowly. “Even though I was sad, I think about that day all the time and smile. I don’t think I’ve ever cried with somebody before then. Weird thing to be happy about, but the alternative is kinda awful to imagine.”
He sighed.
“I’m so used to feeling things by myself,” he continued. “To the point where I’ll lie to people, or run from them. Why do I do that? It feels really bad to be unhappy without anyone to support you, or happy without anyone to share it with. It was like I was trying to hurt myself. I guess I was proving something. Like, ‘you can’t hurt me more than I hurt myself.’ Isn’t that stupid? I was ready for that moment behind the school to be a self-pity all timer, something I’d remember for the rest of my life. And then you showed up. You’re a pretty amazing person, you know. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve a friend like you.”
Azuma listened to Taira talk. It certainly wasn’t making her cry less, even though she felt much better.
“I think that might be the most you’ve ever said to me about your feelings ever,” she said.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Mostly because I couldn’t decide if I wanted to risk your friendship. I’m so lucky, and it almost feels greedy to ask for more. What if I end up losing this?”
Azuma nodded slightly. She got it. She had thought about it too.
“I’m glad you feel the same way I do,” she said. “It’s definitely scary.”
She wiped away some of the tears.
“You know, I wouldn’t have ever guessed we would end up such good friends,” she continued.
Taira’s expression turned sour.
“Gee, thanks.”
“Come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t think the same thing.”
“Er, yeah.” he admitted. “Although in my case I felt that way about everybody.”
“True. But I’ve known you for a while, and I just never realized we were getting closer the whole time. And now if I try to imagine life without you, it’s impossible.”
“So then. Better to stick to the status quo, avoid rocking the boat?”
“That was what I’ve been thinking.”
“Because we can stay friends for the rest of our lives, and anything else would be a huge gamble.”
“Usually that isn’t a problem for me, but the idea of losing you scares the crap out of me. So… yeah.”
“Of course, I can’t really ever imagine dating anyone else,” Taira mused.
Azuma’s breath hitched.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Me either.”
Taira began to spin his two index fingers around each other.
“So we spend the rest of our lives orbiting each other,” he began. “Close as we can without colliding, never getting close with anyone else either, because we’re both afraid. Kinda like the self-torture thing I mentioned before, but now it’s both of us doing it.”
“It seems kinda dumb when you put it like that. But what’s the alternative?”
It was Taira’s turn to blush.
“Well, we could try it out,” he said. “Dating, I mean. And promise that if it doesn’t work out we’ll do everything we can to remain friends.”
Azuma’s heart was pounding.
“I think you’re trying to kill me,” she said. “I’m already sick and then you say something like that? I’m hanging by a thread here!”
“Well how do you think I feel! Look,” he said, taking her hand and placing it against his heart. “I’m having a literal heart attack.”
His heart was certainly pounding through his shirt. He felt cool to the touch compared to her fever.
“You feel nice,” she said.
She felt his heart beat faster. That was a neat trick. She had been close to plenty of guys, but she couldn’t remember any of their heartbeats.
She was suddenly filled with a desire to find out how fast she could make it beat if she really tried.
“You know,” Azuma continued, hand still on Taira’s chest, “I think maybe we’ve both been too concerned about the risks, and not enough about the benefits.”
It was getting really hard for Taira to think straight. She was so warm.
“I guess I’m not much of an optimist,” he choked out.
“Really? Never noticed.”
“Hardy har har.”
“Seriously though. I think we both get that there’s an element of risk, but have you thought about what we’d get out of dating?”
Azuma shifted so that she was facing Taira now. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him downward until he was almost on top of her. She was hanging off of him, looking him in the eyes, head slightly cocked in an appraising manner.
“For example,” she added. “Something like this would be a bit weird for friends to do. I mean, gosh, can you imagine what people would think?”
“You’re teasing me,” he said shakily.
“I’m illustrating some important points to consider.”
“Multiple points?”
“Well, sure. If you’re creative, there are lots of things that open up when you move past friendship,” Azuma said with a smile. “For example, if I said I love you. Just came out and said it. As more than a friend. That would be pretty crazy, huh?”
She took one hand and cupped his face.
“Touching your face like this, that’s another novel concept. I don’t think we’d do that if we stayed just friends.”
Taira was having a hard time thinking at this point.
“Huh. Ah. Um.”
Azuma leaned in closer. Pressed herself flush against him. Their faces were nearly touching.
“And let’s say I did this? Bit unusual for friends. But if we were more? I don’t know. What do you think we could do?”
Taira had made many mistakes in his life. Most of the time, the mistakes were caused by thinking too much. Luckily, in this moment he was operating at about 10% his usual mental output. So he made the right choice—holding Azuma by the back of her head, closing his eyes, leaning forward, and kissing her.
Shit. He didn’t know what he was doing. Not just why he was doing it, but his literal mechanical actions. He hadn’t ever kissed someone before!
After a moment, he pulled away. Azuma opened her eyes and they stared at each other.
“You’re trembling,” she noted, her voice sounding distant.
“I don’t know how to kiss.”
“It’s not hard, you did a pretty good job for a first time. Wow, you’re really shaking now.”
She sounded legitimately worried. Taira let her go and leaned back. She was right. He was trembling like he was in the middle of a blizzard.
“Are you ok?” Azuma asked. “You don’t have like, a medical condition that triggers when you kiss, right?”
“No. And even if I did, how would I know that? They don’t usually include smooches in the annual physical.”
“So I shouldn’t call an ambulance?”
“Not unless you kiss me again. That might prove fatal.”
Azuma rolled her eyes.
“That scared the crap out of me,” she complained. “How do you think I’d feel if I killed you with my kiss?”
“Kind of a brag, right?”
“I hate you sometimes.”
Taira managed to get himself under control.
“Well, you’ve made some pretty good points,” he said. “Compelling stuff.”
“And?”
Taira nodded slowly.
“I think we should probably try dating. If only because you just stole my first kiss from me.”
“Excuse me? You kissed me!”
“Seriously? How was I supposed to not kiss you?”
“It’s never been a problem before!”
“Well I hadn’t realized it was an option before!”
“And whose fault is that?”
“…Fine. You win this round.”
They both sat there in silence for a few moments.
“Hey, Taira?”
“Yes?”
“Do you think it maybe was a bad idea to kiss when I was sick?”
“Probably.”
“Wanna do it again?”
“Absolutely.”
“You aren’t gonna die on me?”
“I think I’ll improve with practice.”
“Only one way to find out, I guess.”
“Hey Azuma?”
”Hm?”
”I love you too.”
”Mmm.”