Chapter Text
You knew you loved him long before you could voice it.
He had kept your eye for a while, the way that he cared for everything that lived on your father’s farm. It was your farm now, really, but it still belonged to your parents in your mind, despite the fact that their absence had been a part of your life for years now. But your proudest asset wasn’t the horses or the cows, it was the farmhands. You had three, Steve, Natasha, and James, who insisted you call him Bucky. You called him James, just to spite him.
He was kind, kinder than you had ever been. He truly seemed to care for the animals he was charged with, and to adhere to your every need. He didn’t speak much, only replying to your insistent requests with one simple phrase.
“As you wish.”
That was the only thing he ever said to you when you had a demand, and it unnerved you much more than it should have.
There was something about him, the way he treated you, that caused you to pause more and more as the years went by, until you came to the sudden and horrifying conclusion that when he said “As you wish,” what he really meant was that he loved you.
One day, you realized that you loved him back, not as a friend but as something much deeper, much more raw. You loved him with every fiber of your being, and you didn’t know how to tell him. But your heart did.
“Bucky, can you fetch me that pitcher?” His nickname was out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, and you froze. What if he knows?
“As you wish,” He reached for the pitcher above your head, and suddenly, your lips were on his and it felt like the world was crashing down around the two of you. Softly, gently, his hands were on your face, and you smiled despite yourself. “What are you laughing at?” he mumbled against your lips.
“This is real,” you said, pulling away slightly to look into his gorgeous blue eyes. “This is really happening.”
“This is true love,” he planted a kiss on your forehead, and your entire body shivered. “It is the most real thing in the world.”
Your lips met once more, and a cheer erupted from the doorway, where Steve and Natasha stood, grinning ear to ear. You huffed a laugh, leaning against Bucky’s forehead. “Get back to work you two.”
“Actually, we need Buck to help with the hay.” Steve said with a chuckle.
“I’ll be there in a sec, I’m busy.” He leaned forward, breath warm against your mouth.
You smiled. “Very busy.”
~
The days that followed were blissful and perfect, ones that would remain fond memories in your mind until you died. They were full of joy, conversations about everything and nothing at the same time.
“I want to be someone, do something worth remembering,” he confessed one night, as the two of you lay in the hayloft, looking at the stars. “Leave something for our children, that one day I’ll be someone they’re proud of.”
“You already are someone.” You sat up slightly in the straw, looking at him. “You’re Bucky, my Bucky.”
“That I am.” He grinned. “And I have you, what more could I want?”
You tucked back into his arm. “Better pay, I suppose.”
He chuckled. “’Tis true, the mistress who pays me hoards a great deal, I suppose she could spare a few more coins.”
“I’ll speak to her and see what I can do.” Your eyes began to close, the stars in the night sky blurring as sleep began to over take you.
“Princess, you cannot fall asleep here. Come, let me take you to your room.”
“I’m hardly a princess,” you mumbled sleepily, letting him pick you up ever so gently.
“Of course you are. You have your own little kingdom with your little subjects who are desperate to please your every command.”
“A bankrupt kingdom,” you muttered, feet touching the hay-covered floor.
“What?” he asked, dark brows crinkled in worry.
“Nothing, my love.” You said, awake now.
“You said—”
“It matters not what I said.” You touched his cheek softly. “It is nothing to worry about.” Before he could protest, you feigned a yawn. “I am tired, my love. Might we speak of this in the morning?”
He lent forward, placing a chaste kiss upon your lips. “As you wish.”
~
But like all good things, it had to come to an end.
You had known that the truth would come out eventually, that he would know of the finances, but oh how you wished that the day had never come.
He made you tell him, not forcefully, but how could you say no when your love looked you in the eyes as he did?
“The taxes have increased,” you said softly, showing him the papers. “Ever since the king’s health began to fail, the Prince has started to tax us more and more each year. I’m afraid that I cannot pay all of you in the upcoming year, much less sustain the farm.” You looked up at him, tears threatening to leave your eyes. “I don’t know what to do, Bucky.”
“Hey, hey,” his rough hand touched your face, slowly wiping each tear as it appeared. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to get through this, I promise. Nothing can get in the way of us, of what we have.”
You smiled slightly. “I know.” You rested like that a moment, head on his hand, gazing into the eyes of the man you loved. As long as you had him, it would be alright.
~
The men left several weeks later. Even you, in your desperation to make them stay, knew it was the only option.
You clung to Natasha, both of you with tears in your eyes as you watched them go, replaying your last conversation in your mind.
“I fear that I will never see you again.” you had whispered, mind swirling with every possibility, of every way things could go wrong.
“Of course you will.” His hands grasped your cheeks oh so gently, titling your head so you could look him in the eyes.
“But what if I never see you again?”
“Hear this now, I will come for you.”
“But how can you be sure?”
“This is true love. You think this happens every day?” A smile played at his lips as he said it, and your heart settled. Never before had you seen a love so strong, so pure, and you were certain that one day he would return, laden with his fortune and bearing a ring for your wedding. For now, all you had to do was wait.
And wait you did.
For weeks, months, you and Natasha ran the farm like nothing was amiss, like you had no reason to worry or that you hadn’t cried yourself to sleep every night since Bucky had left.
And then the letter came. It was twofold, addressed to Natasha with another, smaller, letter inside it for you.
Dear Princess,
I know not where to begin. Two nights ago, the unthinkable happened, and our ship was attacked by the Winter Soldier on his ship The Hydra. Buck and I tried to escape, and we made it to the side of the ship. We jumped, side by side, but his arm caught on a net, and he didn’t make it. I’m so sorry. I watched him struggle, and I could not save him. I realize that whatever grief I might be feeling, you are feeling tenfold, but you must allow me to speak of him once.
James Buchanan Barnes was the brother I never had. He protected me when I was young, weaker than I am now, sticking by my side when he had no real cause to. He was the greatest man I ever knew, and I cannot stress the amount of times that he saved my life by the end of our teens. He loved you so much, speaking of nothing else beside you, even in his final moments. He asked me to protect you, which I swear I will do for the rest of my life. I might not have been able to save him, but I can protect you, and I swear that I will do so.
I give you my condolences from the bottom of my heart,
Steve.
You sank to the floor upon finishing the letter, unwilling to move for days.