Chapter Text
Juan was so confused. He couldn’t understand why Graf would confess now. Since when had he been feeling all of this? How had Juan not noticed before? And more importantly, why did Graf like him?
Juan had never had low self-esteem. He considered himself attractive and an efficient person. But that still didn’t answer his question of, 'Why would Graf be the one to fall in love with me?' It all felt unexpected and confusing. Juan spent the entire date with so many conflicting thoughts and feelings that he got dizzy more than once, having to go to the bathroom a couple of times just to clear his head. None of this made any sense.
He wasn’t ready to date anyone, not now.
“But then you have a second date?” Foolish asks in a low voice, tilting his head to the side in confusion.
The two of them are in Juan’s room. As soon as the date ended, Juan rushed back north and called his best friend. He urgently needed to talk to someone, so here they are.
“Well, yeah! I didn’t know how to tell him no!” Juan is frustrated, wanting to yank at his hair until he rips it out. His head hurts. Rejecting someone was a heavy task. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings…”
“But do you like Graf?” Foolish asks skeptically after that last statement. “I mean, you wouldn’t agree to a second date with someone if you didn’t like them at least a little, right?”
“I—”
Juan genuinely doesn’t know how to answer that question. This isn’t about whether he likes Graf or not, this is about how they can’t be together and how Juan isn’t ready. Why was that so hard to understand? He doesn’t have time for love. Love was painful, complicated, and confusing. He doesn’t want to go through that again.
Every time he’s opened his heart to someone, he’s ended up hurt. People are unpredictable. One day they can love you and swear they’ll stay by your side forever, and the next they can walk out the door leaving you holding all that love in your hands. He isn’t ready to open himself up again. He isn’t prepared for someone to stir everything inside him up once more.
He already has enough with his art shop, with protecting his family and the north. Enough dealing with Aldo leaving. Robleis’ absence. And Teddy’s loss. He has too many things to do at the mansion, too much work at the shop, and too many activities still left to plan. There’s no time for love.
But he doesn’t know how to put that into words to explain it to Foolish.
“If you like Graf even a little, then maybe you should give him a chance, I guess…” Foolish doesn’t sound too enthusiastic as he says it.
“Look, Foolish, no, I can’t, you have to help me tell him I can’t be with him.” Juan insists, almost pleading to be understood.
“You can’t or you don’t want to?” Foolish questions.
“Just no, Foolish, oh my god…”
“I mean, it’s okay to admit you like someone.”
“Enough, that’s enough. If you’re not going to help me, then get out of my room.” Juan can’t take it anymore.
“You kidding? I’ll help you, Juan, I’m not gonna leave you alone in this. I just want to understand why it’s so hard for you to reject him.”
Juan sighs audibly and places a hand against his forehead.
“I don’t want to hurt his feelings, I already told you. Graf is my friend too.” Foolish nods once Juan finishes speaking.
The two of them start coming up with a plan on how to reject Graf.
Over the next few days Juan keeps himself busy with his own tasks. He hasn’t forgotten that his next date is in a week, especially because Graf keeps crossing his path everywhere he goes.
When he passes through the shopping district, he casually finds him near the bar. Graf stops him.
“Hi, Juan.”
“H-Hi, Graf. Everything okay?” Juan asks while scratching the back of his head nervously.
“Everything’s great. I’m excited for our next date.”
“Yeah, uh, yeah, me too!” Juan can’t lie, and he hopes it doesn’t show too much.
“I have something for you.”
“What is it?” Juan is genuinely interested. “A gift? For me?”
“Yeah, for you.” Graf pulls a large gift bag with a ribbon on it out of his backpack.
Juan smiles when he takes it into his hands and opens the bag. Inside there’s a plushie, a brown teddy bear plushie, very similar to the one he had of Teddy, though slightly different. Juan can’t hide his happiness.
“It’s… it’s like Teddy.”
“I heard you were sad about losing Teddy, so I got you one so you could remember him. It’s not a replacement, but it’s something that can keep you company.”
Juan doesn’t know what to say, and he steps closer to Graf to hug him.
The polish man holds him warmly for longer than necessary, but the arms around him feel strong.
“Thank you, Graf, this is really sweet.”
Graf is very attentive with Juan. It’s like he’s trying to make him fall in love every single day. Over the next few days, Graf remembers what his favorite food is and brings him homemade burgers whenever Juan is hungry while working at the art shop. He tells him how beautiful he looks in his new clothes. He asks if he needs help with anything every time he sees him struggling while working in the mansion garden. And he asks him how he’s feeling every day.
He gives him flowers, tells him he’d never break his heart…
“Today’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“The day isn’t the only beautiful thing.”
It’s like he’s softening his heart little by little. And Juan is weak, very weak. Because no one had ever tried this hard to take care of him before.
And Juan slowly feels himself falling like a hopeless idiot.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to go through with the plan, Foolish,” he tells him when there are two days left before the date.
Juan had never noticed just how attentive and affectionate Graf could be, and now it digs deeper into his head every time the polish man shows up. He can’t help it.
“Huh?!” Foolish looks shocked.
“It’s just… Graf has really been trying, he’s not a bad person…”
“But we already planned everything. You said you can’t be with him, I don’t understand.” Foolish seems angry.
“Look, Foolish, I don’t know what I want right now, okay?” Juan doesn’t understand himself either. “It’s complicated.”
Foolish stands up from the chair angrily, brows furrowed. “So now you can be with someone? He convinced you you’re ready to date him? Graf?”
“What’s the problem with it being Graf?” Juan feels irritated now too. He doesn’t understand why Foolish is acting like this. “You were the one who told me to give him a chance, and now that I’m thinking about it, you get mad?”
Foolish scoffs angrily. He turns away and doesn’t look at Juan when he says, “So all it takes is one gift and a few pretty words to change your mind, huh?”
“That’s not what this is about, dude, it’s… Graf is really attentive, he cares about me…”
“I care about you too!” Foolish looks at him again, raising his hands in protest. Juan doesn’t know how to interpret that comment. “I also know your favorite food is burgers, that you don’t like Star Wars, and that you missed Teddy a lot! I know all that and more about you. I care about you every day, and that doesn’t mean you fell in love with me!”
Juan is in shock. He doesn’t know what to say, or what Foolish is trying to get at with all this. Why is he saying all these things?
“Foolish, but we’re friends.” It’s the only thing his mind can come up with.
“Yeah, friends… we’re just friends, I—” Foolish looks calmer now. But there’s disappointment in his voice too, and Juan wants to understand all this but it’s too complicated for him. He doesn’t know why Foolish is acting this way.
“Just… uh— I’ll have my date with Graf on Sunday, and then I’ll see how things go. I think I can give him a chance, you know? Like you mentioned a few days ago.”
“Do what you think is best for you, Juan.” Foolish nods, his face now gloomy and expressionless. “I’ll always be here to support you.”
“Thanks, man. Thanks for understanding me.”
Juan ends the conversation there, giving Foolish a tight hug and getting one back just as strong.
That same day, while Juan works on his new painting and spends hours focused on getting the perfect shade for the sky, a box arrives at the door of his shop. It’s a small red box. Nobody’s there; apparently they rang the bell and left.
When he opens it, he finds a handwritten note with the sender’s name:
“Hope you’re having a nice day, and that you’re eating properly.
-Foolish”
Inside the box are burgers, fries, and a cake.
Juan blushes before he can stop himself. It’s the first time his friend has done something like this. And he doesn’t understand why he’d do it now. Still, he sends him a text thanking him, and Foolish replies immediately.
“So you can’t say I don’t think about you. :)”
Juan laughs nervously but doesn’t send another reply.
That night, when he gets to his room completely exhausted from such a hard day of work, he finds another box on his bed. A handwritten note sits beside it.
“I was walking through the district and saw this at Żabka. I know how much you’ve been needing this.
-Foolish”
Juan’s eyes widen in surprise when he discovers what’s inside the box: a set of acrylic paints with more than 48 colors. And his heart tightens when he remembers how much he’d complained to Foolish about how annoying it was to only have 12 colors and not enough money yet to buy the bigger set.
Juan doesn’t know how to feel about this. He takes the box of paints and hugs it.
He stores it in his backpack to take it to the shop the next day, then stumbles out of his room and down the stairs to Foolish’s.
When he walks in, he finds the boy checking through his chests. He stands up, and Juan runs over to hug him.
“Foolish! You made my day, you have no idea how much this is gonna help me finish the portraits faster.” Juan pulls away with a smile and notices Foolish is slightly blushing.
“I did know, Juan. That’s why I gave it to you.”
“Thanks for listening to me then!”
“Always by your side, remember?” Foolish smiles to the side, and Juan can’t help mirroring it.
“Yeah— yeah, always by my side…” Juan feels nervous now.
Foolish’s hand brushes through Juan’s hair while mimicking his nervous laugh. Now they’re both laughing softly, and Juan can feel his cheeks growing warm.
That night he has too many things to think about. Foolish doesn’t usually touch him like that, nor give him such specific gifts. The fact that he’s doing it now, right when Graf confessed to him and has been doing all these things, feels like a sign of something.
Juan doesn’t want to assume anything, but he also can’t stop himself from feeling confused about his feelings. Foolish is his friend, only his friend. Graf is his friend too, but one who confessed his feelings and wants something more with him. Juan closes his eyes and places a hand against his forehead.
He’ll go on the date with Graf, and he’ll give him a chance.
Sunday arrives bright and sunny. There are no clouds in the clear sky. Foolish says nothing when he sees Juan leaving his room dressed in an elegant suit. He also says nothing when Juan asks how he looks.
“Good luck on your date,” is the only thing he says before Juan leaves the mansion.
The restaurant is romantic. There’s no one there except the two of them and the waiter. Light filters softly through the windows, and the decor makes it feel like he’s inside a movie. Juan feels both nervous and fond. Graf always does these sweet things for him.
“You look beautiful today, Juan,” Graf says calmly once they sit down at the table.
“Hm— thank you, Graf.” Juan never knows how to respond to compliments.
They order drinks to start. When the waiter brings the wine glasses and leaves them alone again, Juan can feel Graf’s heavy gaze on him. He’s too nervous to look him in the eyes.
“How’s it going with your paintings?” Graf asks at some point during the date.
“Oh! Great, I’m about to finish Haiper’s painting. It’s turning out really nice, though I still can’t get the perfect shade for the sky. I’ve tried several and none of them convince me yet.” Juan rambles, because talking about his work has always been easy for him. “But thankfully Foolish gave me a set of 48 paints! I’m sure once I go back to the shop to finish it, it’ll be easier.”
Graf frowns.
“Foolish is my great friend, you know? Even though we fight sometimes, we’re always together. He’s my best friend in the world!” Juan says proudly with a smile on his face.
“I see… yeah, you two seem really close.”
“We are! We always go on adventures together, he helps me plan a lot of things in the north, and he’s also really good at building! Did you see that dragon he made in front of the mansion? It’s impressive.”
The more Juan talks about Foolish, the more he realizes how incredible he is.
“He’s a really creative, skilled, and funny person.”
“I get it. Unlike me, right?” Graf asks, rather expressionless.
“Huh? Well, everyone’s different, we’re all different, Graf, we all have our own thing.” Juan tries to save the situation. He doesn’t want Graf to feel bad. No matter what qualities Foolish had, Graf had his own too. “I mean, I really like what you’ve been building in the cave, the houses are turning out really nice— uh— I think— well, Foolish usually makes bigger builds and uh—”
“Why don’t we stop talking about Foolish?” Graf interrupts him. “This is our date, and he’s not here.”
“Yeah— right, sorry, I talked too much.” Juan feels embarrassed.
Graf changes the subject, and the Colombian tries to focus and immerse himself in the conversation. Graf talks more in depth about his project and asks him if he’d like to have a room in the Polish cave, so they could be closer, since Graf doesn’t spend much time in the north despite having a room there.
Juan hesitates to accept. He tells him he’ll think about it.
Graf takes his hand over the table once the food is served and they’re already more than two glasses of wine in. Juan doesn’t pull away, and his heart stirs at Graf’s touch. Graf’s eyes shine in the sunset light.
When he gets back to the mansion after the date, he lies down on his bed and stares at the ceiling.
It wasn’t the best date in the world because he feels like he fucked up by talking about Foolish at the beginning, but Graf always finds a way to make everything feel easier despite the things Juan might say or do. He always finds a way to look so damn perfect and spotless.
“Juan?”
Foolish knocks on the door, and Juan invites him in. They sit down on the couch in the room.
“How’d it go?” he asks calmly, though he doesn’t look him in the eyes.
“I fucked up a lot, Foolish,” Juan admits.
“Yeah? Why?” His friend seems genuinely interested.
“I started talking about— uh…” Juan realizes how weird it sounds in his head, but he still doesn’t want to lie to his friend. “Well, about you…”
He lets out a nervous laugh. Foolish’s eyes widen in surprise.
“What? How about me?”
“Well, it’s just… I started telling him about your gift and maybe I talked too much. Nothing bad! I didn’t say anything bad, quite the opposite, but it got kind of awkward, and Graf asked me to stop talking about you. It was, uh… pretty weird.”
Foolish is smiling. “You told him about how amazing I am?”
“Cállate la boca, wey! la cagué horrible…” Juan says in Spanish, not caring whether Foolish understands him or not, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.
“Ok, so... what happened after?”
“He changed the subject,” Juan looks Foolish in the eyes, “and then he held my hand after dinner.”
Juan’s cheeks flush after saying it. Foolish narrows his eyes.
“I see. And did you like it?”
“Well— yeah, it was nice, but I don’t know if we’re gonna have another date.”
“Why do you say that?” Foolish asks while sitting beside Juan.
“We didn’t talk about it, and I feel kind of confused, Foolish… I feel like I’m still not ready to open up emotionally to anyone. But at the same time, I think Graf could be a good partner… I don’t know.”
Foolish takes a few seconds, hand resting against his chin while he thinks. “Why do you think he’d be a good partner?”
“Well… he’s really calm, and like I told you, he’s very attentive. He’s seen many sides of me and has always been romantic with every single one of them. I told him I wanted to raise pigs someday and he said we could do it together. He visited me at the shop when I was sleeping there to finish a painting and still told me I looked beautiful. We never argue, he’s always a really good mediator in conversations. I don’t know… he seems like— like someone genuine who could be good company for me.” Juan finishes with a sigh.
Foolish lets himself fall back against the couch. Juan has to turn slightly to look at him now. Foolish sighs too.
“But you’re still not sure?”
“It’s complicated. I still feel a little unstable, uh— with the kidnapping… with Aldo, with what happened with my last romantic interest, I—”
Juan breaks down and starts crying uncontrollably, covering his face with his hands so Foolish won’t see him like this.
He feels arms wrapping around him gently. Foolish is hugging him. Juan clings to him. It’s like he can hold him together when he feels like he’s about to fall into the void. All the memories come flooding back with painful images. He can feel the blows against his body, the ugliest side of the federation, he can hear Aldo telling him to enjoy the island. It’s traumatic, and Juan can’t stop it.
“Everything’s okay now, Juan, that’s over, you’re not there anymore, I’m here to protect you,” Foolish whispers into his ear.
“No, no, nothing’s okay,” Juan argues. “Aldo’s not coming back, and I’m broken.”
“You’re not broken, Juan. You’re gonna be okay, I promise. And Aldo will come back, he’ll come to his senses and return home soon. I’ll try talking to him again.”
Juan sobs. He wants to believe him.
Foolish strokes his back while continuing to hold him. And Juan lets himself be taken care of after so long.
That night, Foolish stays in his room, sitting beside Juan on the bed until he falls asleep. And Juan sleeps hugging his new Teddy until dawn.
__
If Foolish knows one thing, it’s that he has to talk to Graf.
He’s always had feelings for Juan, and one new suitor isn’t going to erase months of effort. He’s waited for Juan ever since this whole power game in the north began, when he realized what he felt for him wasn’t rivalry or competition.
It was fun fighting with him over a higher position in the north, but more than the hierarchy, he liked spending time with the Colombian. They both shared such a similar sense of humor, the jokes flowed naturally, and seeing his smile had always been a cure for his heart.
He’s been waiting for the right moment ever since. He doesn’t want to pressure Juan, and he always knew Juan wasn’t emotionally available. So the fact that now it’s Graf who’s making him change his mind infuriates him.
He arrives at the Polish cave quickly. He finds the man focused on building.
“Foolish, good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon, Graf.” Foolish sounds serious and expressionless.
“What can I do for you?”
“I need to talk to you.” Foolish tries to keep his composure as serious as possible. Even though he’s not used to this kind of thing, he knows it’s something he has to do.
Graf stops, puts away his tools, and turns completely to face Foolish.
“Go ahead.”
“You need to stop whatever this thing is that you’re trying to get with Juan. He— he’s not interested.”
Graf’s expression changes, turning darker.
“What do you mean he’s not interested? I texted him this morning to plan our next date and he answered me.”
Foolish wants to slam his head into something. Juan is making him look like an idiot now.
“Well, he’s not really interested but he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Foolish tries again.
“And why doesn’t he tell me himself?” Graf questions, his tone serious and his gaze suspicious. “Why do you have to be the one coming to tell me? Why isn’t Juan here?”
“Because I’m his best friend.”
“Did he send you?”
Foolish doesn’t want to lie either. He’s never been good at lying. He doesn’t know what to say, but he knows a lie isn’t the answer.
“No, b-but—”
“Then?” Graf lets out a bitter laugh. “I think I know what’s going on.”
“No, you don’t!”
“Listen, I’m not going to take Juan away from you. You can still be friends when Juan and I become boyfriends. I won’t stop him from keeping his friendships, I’m not that kind of person.” Graf sounds proud when he says the word ‘boyfriends,’ and Foolish gets even angrier.
“You are not going to be boyfriends!” Foolish snaps bitterly. “That’s not happening.”
Graf tilts his head in confusion, and after a moment it seems like realization dawns on him.
“You two… have something going on?”
“What?”
“You’re jealous. So you two do have something?”
“What? No! We’re just friends.”
“Then why—”
“Listen, Graf.” Foolish takes a deep breath before continuing. “Just stay away from Juan. I’m saying this for everyone’s sake.”
“No.” Graf cuts him off coldly.
“He doesn’t need anyone else in his life, he already has a big family that loves him, and he’s not looking for a partner.”
“I’m not staying away from Juan because you tell me to.” Graf sounds firm, and Foolish feels like he’s wasting his time, and somehow exposing himself in the process.
“Graf, this isn’t up for discussion. If you don’t want problems with me, then stay away from Juan.” Foolish doesn’t know how to threaten someone, and he hesitates over whether he should draw his sword or not, but ultimately decides against it.
“If you liked Juan, then you should’ve told him sooner. Whatever you feel for him isn’t my problem. I would never hurt Juan, so I don’t understand what exactly you think you’re protecting him from by doing this.”
Foolish rolls his eyes.
“You don’t understand it.”
“I think the one who doesn’t understand his place here is you.”
Foolish feels offended. He can’t think of anything else to say, and as he turns around to head back home, Graf says one last thing.
“Love is useless if you don’t show it.”
Foolish clenches his fists. If Graf wants war, then he’ll get war.