Chapter Text
The first time Shane suspects he might have a problem is when Jack Donelly asks for condoms. A month ago Comeau asked for condoms to fuck a puckbunny and Shane had thrown him a strip of three wordlessly
Now, Donelly is asking for condoms. How hasn't his team been driven to the brink of acceptability by child support lawsuits left and right if none of his teammates know how to glove it up? HOW?
Maybe he should talk to maintenance to install a condom dispenser somewhere. That way Shane doesn't have to give out his stash regularly. After all, he needs those himself. Maybe they could sell the condoms for a little more money and donate the earnings to a safe-sex-charity? If his teammates can't be bothered to buy condoms regularly they shouldn't mind buying them at a mark up.
Shane thinks he might have a problem when he sees Alexis wrists.
Alexis Lafrenière is the Montreal Voyagers newest rookie.
Shane clocks the marks the second he walks in because he has done his research and has seen many Fotos of handcuff bruising before he bought his first pair.
This rookie obviously didn't do the research.
And Shane is pissed.
So he immediately grabs the rookie and drags him to a private meeting room. Metaphorically, even though he really, really wants to.
He holds the door open for one of the small meeting rooms makes a hand movement, directing Alexis inside. He goes in. The door closes behind them.
Shane keeps standing by the door. “En pleine saison? Tu es sérieux? Avec des menottes en métal?” [In the season? You serious? With metal handcuffs?]
Alexis looks at Shane with absolute shock.
Shane sighs and sits down. Alexis sits down as well.
Shane sighs again and continues in English: “Do you know what kind of injuries you could have gotten? I don’t care what you do with whom or how many or where, as long as there are no hockey-imperilling practices involved.”
It took a moment to sink in but now that it has, Alexis is obviously embarrassed. He turns a little pink over all but his ears are bright red.
Shane has no such problems and carries right on: “Those bruises are bad because of your bad equipment. You earn MLH money now. Go buy two pairs of leather cuffs. That way you can have your hands individually cuffed instead of together. Much less injury prone position. The padding will keep your wrists from looking like that.”
Alexis looks down to the hands he had placed on his legs.
Shane doesn't want anyone to risk serious injury for sex in a sport as dangerous as hockey. Especially a rookie who might be too new and too eager to play to speak up about it and play anyway, risking an early end to his career if it turns into something serious.
“You won’t go to training directly. You will go to PT and get checked out. If you don’t do enough research on safe sex, you can definitely not be trusted with your own injury prevention. Please tell me you used condoms?”
Alexis doesn't look at Shane. His nose twitches before he speaks and Shane knows that he is lying when he nods. Shane wants to scream and shake him. But for now, he can only hope medical screens for STDs regularly. He'll have to check. He does regular checkups with his old gp two times a year and he always gives the teams medical team anything they want in terms of bodily fluids and just hopes they'll tell him if they find something. Maybe that was a little naive of him too.
“Okay. Go to PT and then come to practice.”
Alexis flees and Shane pulls out his phone to write Travis, the team doctor, a quick mail with a request for a meeting.
The third time, Shane knows he has a problem it’s Hayden, who comes to practice white as a sheet and, after he skates like shit and is taken aside by Shane, confesses that Jackie is pregnant with their fourth child. Apparently, they didn’t think to hard about it and used the condoms Hayden had had in his travel kit for the last ten years and it broke somehow but they hadn’t thought to much of it because four weeks postpartum they didn’t think Jackies body could physically be prepared for another pregnancy.
Shane doesn’t know if pregnancy occurring is less or more likely post-partum but he does know that child number 3 was a surprise, a welcome surprise, but a surprise, and that vasectomies exist.
He facepalms, pats Hayden on the shoulder and then tells him to focus on the game when he is at practice and to focus on his family when he's with his family. He hopes that helps. He doesn't want to pressure him by telling him he needs to play better hockey if he wants to support his wife AND his four children comfortably.
Shane might be bad with emotions but he tries okay?
The fourth time, Shane knows he has a problem and decides to do something about it, it's in the locker room, with the whole team.
It’s after training, pretty much everyone is showered and getting ready to head home. Some of the guys are complaining that women want to get their pussy eaten but not give head and how they need to do it with a new puck bunny in every city because ‘even puck bunnies want more the second time round.”
Shane knows it's a failure of his to not have addressed this kind of derogatory talk sooner but better late than never, right?
Shane intends to calmly tell them to stop talking badly about women, but he's had a couple of rough weeks. He might not be as emotionally balanced as he thought he was.
The locker door slams closed before he realises that he wanted to shut it and Shane turns around.
“You are a bunch of disgusting assholes.” An opening statement, that from anyone else might have garnered a laugh, but not from Shane Hollander. From Shane, this is shots being fired. Maybe insulting his teammates is not the best way to address this issue but Shane has zero fucks to give. Unlike his teammates, it seems.
“You are doing every woman a favour by not meeting them again with your unwashed dicks and that kind of disgusting view towards women. You could literally block someone’s airway with a normal sized penis so head giving takes trust. Which I don’t have in any of you if you see women as ‘just another hole.’”
He shoulders his bag. He needs to get out of here before he punches something or someone.
“So wash your dicks and improve your own head game before demanding someone elses.”
He makes his way through the locker room towards the door.
“And learn some fucking respect for women if you want any of them to let you fuck them more than once.”
The locker room door slams shut behind Shane. He is so furious the staffers coming his way shrink back and shimmy past him, backs towards the wall. Normally he'd feel bad for scaring them but right now he only notices but doesn't really feel like fixing his face and pretend all is well.
He pulls out his phone and writes a furious email to management and coach with his mom (aka manager) and agent in cc.
He will hold a power point presentation to end all presentations to address his team’s deplorable behaviour once and for all.
And he will force his team to do bag skates for a month for making him hold a presentation.