Chapter Text
[6:00 A.M. UTC]
SYNTAX CHATROOM - [FOR BUSINESS-RELATED USE ONLY]
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hellooooooooooooooo???
Malice: @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone @everyone
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hello?
Malice: Hello?
Malice: …
Malice: Boo… I thought this place was supposed to be active. WHERE IS EVERYBODY??!?
Malice: Man, this stink. I thought I found gold. Turns out I found shit.
Malice:???
Malice: Hello?
Malice:???
Malice:???
Malice:???
Malice:???
Malice: Ah fuck it.
***
[7:00 P.M. UTC]
SYNTAX CHATROOM - [FOR BUSINESS-RELATED USE ONLY]
Malice: EXCUSE ME, SIR, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE YOU'VE CONFUSED ME FOR
IF I COULD SEE SOMEONE WHO KNEW ME OR SOMEONE IN UNIFORM
I GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY, TRULY, USUALLY MORE
SCREAMING AT THE ANGELS WHILE THEY PUSHED HIM THROUGH THE DOOR
EXCUSE ME, SIR, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE YOU'VE CONFUSED ME FOR
IF I COULD SEE SOMEONE WHO KNEW ME OR SOMEONE IN UNIFORM
I GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY, TRULY, USUALLY MORE
SCREAMING AT THE ANGELS WHILE THEY PUSHED HIM THROUGH THE DOOR!!
Mira: Is that That Handsome Devil?
Malice: Huh? What??
Mira: The lyrics you're spamming, isn’t that Charlie’s Inferno? The band who made them are called ‘That Handsome Devil’.
Malice: Oh. I dunno, I kinda hear it a lot in a room next to mine. It’s catchy
Mira: Oh, oh dear… That’s… that’s my room. The one next to yours.
Malice: Oh…
Malice: Huh.
[7:05 P.M. UTC]
Malice: EXCUSE ME, SIR, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE YOU'VE CONFUSED ME FOR
IF I COULD SEE SOMEONE WHO KNEW ME OR SOMEONE IN UNIFORM
I REALLY DON'T BELONG HERE, I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD THE TUNE BEFORE
SCREAMING AT THE DEMONS WHILE THEY PUSHED HIM THROUGH THE DOOR
Mira: EXCUSE ME, SIR, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE YOU'VE CONFUSED ME FOR
IF I COULD SEE SOMEONE WHO KNEW ME OR SOMEONE IN UNIFORM
I REALLY DON'T BELONG HERE, I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD THE TUNE BEFORE
SCREAMING AT THE DEMONS WHILE THEY PUSHED HIM THROUGH THE DOOR
Zanille: What the fuck? What are you guys doing here?
Mira: Oh! Zanille, hello. We’re enjoying each other’s company.
Malice: I like this Devil guy! >:D
Zanille: That Handsome Devil? You two like to listen to it?
Mira: Yes. You too?
Zanille: For a while, after that I kinda moved on to Insane Clown Posse, ClownC0re, you get the theme here.
Zanille: That aside however. Is this even okay? Isn’t this channel supposed to be a business only?
Mira: THAT’S RIGHT! I was supposed to warn our new recruit about this. I must’ve gotten too into memory lane.
Malice: So, who are you guys anyways?
Zanille: …You’ve seen us?!
Mira: I told you I was next door to you!!
Malice: Nuh, uh. I would’ve remembered there being someone like you two!! All the people around here are suuuuuccccchhhhhhhh…. Buzzkills. The only ones who talk to me are that paper guy and that missy blonde bitch and they SUCK! All they wanna talk about is my transformation being ‘kinda fetishy’ and junk.
Mira: Fold and Miss Information? Yes. They are certainly a… handful.
Zanille: Understatement of the century. At least it’s better them with each other than anyone of us. You remember when they argued so much they left Gorethae to himself in that one dino world?
Mira: I remember. Despite the mission being a success however, all three of them were equally chewed off for nearly losing it. I think that was the one time I’ve ever seen Gorethae near tears. Poor guy.
Zanille: Fuck those two. Buncha ass kissers.
Malice: So. You guys are like… My juniors then?
Zanille: No numbnuts. If anything we’re your seniors! C’mon did you even hear any of our conversation?!
Malice: Nah. I kinda tune it out.
Zanille: Amazing. We’ve got a third troublemaker now.
Mira: Now, now. Let’s give this one a chance at least. I’ve grown fond of this one’s company.
Zanille: You say that because she likes your music taste.
Mira: Well yes. And so with you too. Besides, we’ve never gotten the chance to… well, socialize with the recruit. It’s not really typical considering what Syntax is, but, I think with this chance we could, maybe, socialize.
Zanille: I’m still not sure. This chat is moderated by the Boss right?
Mira: Yes. However, this channel was abandoned many planets ago considering private direct comms were better. And though this technically is a takeover, I believe our Lord Warrick would want to at least use this space for something. As long as it’s within limits.
Malice: I dunno whatever the fuck that means. But coolio gang.
Zanille: Oh, yeah, I also remembered this chat room used to be plagued with those two arguing. It’s been awhile since we muted them, chatlogs must’ve been deleted by then.
Malice: Does that mean the big boss man doesn’t remember this place?
Zanille: Oh yeah, probably. Bigger fish to fry and all.
Malice: Hmmm~ Fish.
***
[1 DAY PASSED, 8:01 P.M. UTC]
SYNTAX CHATROOM - [FOR BUSINESS-RELATED USE ONLY]
Malice: Thanks for sharing your playlist clown lady!! I had a blast in my debut fight!!
Zanille: You kept bopping my nose 24/7 asking for it, not like I had any other options.
Malice: >:)
Zanille: But… I do appreciate the thanks, so…
Mira: And how was the fight?
Malice: I WON!! Obviously cause we’re the best!!
Mira: Ah, you and Mayhem?
Malice: Doi.
Mira: And with another world and their Float extracted. That makes this a three win-streak. Not a bad week.
Zanille: Pretty weird we’ve gotten like three wins in a row. You’d think Farcade would’ve sent someone tougher.
Mira: In due time, they probably will. Or perhaps the Farcade Agents Malice and Mayhem fought would one up us as well.
Zanille: Hopefully not.
Malice: ?:/ What are you guys doing?
Mira: Discussing the implications and future of how this victory may affect future Float extractions.
Malice: OOOOOOhhhhhhh…. Your guys are talking about adult boring stuff. I see, well don’t let me stop you.
Rumble Bee: Congrats you two. You bored our new recruit out of the groupchat.
Malice: Heh? And who’s this guy?
Rumble Bee: Rumble Bee, or Rumble. I’m the bumblebee guy. The one with the shade, seriously it’s in the name. Anyways I saw this thing active for a while so, yo!
Mira: Right! Now that you’ve mentioned it we’ve never actually introduced ourselves properly.
Zanille:Seeing each other’s faces wasn’t enough?
Mira: Since we’ve gotten the opportunity now, I figure it’s best to have a more proper introduction. Let me re-introduce ourselves. I am Mira, I handle general day-to-day ship maintenance, Navigations and Floaties manager.
Malice: Is that why you have the mask thingy like them?
Mira: Yes. And you may have seen Zanille on Comms and World Charter
Zanille: Uh, hey again! Please don’t boop my nose.
Rumble Bee: Meanwhile I handle second comms in case she’s out. Besides Fold and Miss Information, we also have Karl Killem, Burly Bob and Commander Gorethae as field agents. Pretty sure they’re here lurking.
Zanille: Bet my entire rations Burly Bob comes here first.
Burly Bob: BURLY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB IN THE HAUSE! (*Guitar Solo sfx*)
Malice: Did he play a guitar somewhere? I can hear that.
Zanille: It’s his theme. It usually plays whenever he introduces himself. Hey Bob.
Burly Bob: ZANILLE MY NEFARIOUS GRINNING SISTER!! HOW WE DOING TONIGHT??
Zanille: Lethargic. Feeling like lying down on the bed.
Burly Bob: I SEE! DO NOT FORGET TO DRINK WATER, EAT MEALS, AND DO NOT BET YOUR RATIONS WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED THEM!! TOOTLETOOOTOTOOOOOOO!!! YEAH!!
Zanille: You're not my dad. You can’t tell me what to do.
Burly Bob: IT IS SIMPLY COMMON SENSE AND GOOD WORK LIFE BALANCE. I ONLY WISH ALL SYNTAX AGENTS A GOOD HEALTH BEFORE OUR NEXT MISSION!!
Mira: Honestly at this point you may as well do it. You know how Bob can be.
Burly Bob: MY INCISTENCE NEED TO PESTER MEMBERS IS INFINITELY NEVERENDING!! TRELELELELELELELELELEELELELELELEELELELE.
Zanille: Ugh. Fine…
Malice: You know, for someone who smiles a lot you don’t seem all that happy.
Zanille: I probably should’ve told you this earlier, but I’m not actually smiling. My mouth is just like this when I was born. I could still eat and sleep, but I can’t really stop myself like this.
Malice: Why?
Zanille: I probably should’ve told you this earlier, but I’m not actually smiling. My mouth is just like this when I was born. I could still eat and sleep, normal stuff, but I can’t really stop myself like this.
Malice: Why?
Zanille: It’s… It’s personal.
Burly Bob: …
Mira: …
Malice: Ok.
Zanille: …I’ll be honest. Knowing you so far I thought you'd push more.
Malice: I dunno. Don’t feel like it this time.
Zanille: Oh, well…. Thank you then, for not pushing it.
Rumble Bee: Okay. How about we move on from something less awkward. @Karl Killem You there lurking sweetie?
Karl Killem: I’m just observing.
Rumble Bee: He says. Stalking through the chat.
Karl Killem: What do you want, Rumble?
Rumble Bee: Introduce yourself to our newbie here.
Karl Killem: Sigh. Karl Killem, Weapons Expert. I handle the ship’s armory and weapons.
Malice: We have an armoury?
Karl Killem: It's mostly to store remaining artifacts from the world we extracted. Though it's mostly used by Fold and Miss since they're the only two most active agents aside from Commander Gorethae. Though sometimes it's also a place to store remaining Floaties parts.
Malice: Ok. Are there any more lurkers in this room with us?
Commander Gorenthea: I just came here to say, FUCK FOLD AND MISS INFORMATION!
Malice: The spirits are very fucking angry here.
***
[25 DAYS PASSED, 7:00 P.M. UTC]
SYNTAX CHATROOM - [FOR (SOMEWHAT BUSINESS-RELATED USE ONLY]
Rumble Bee: For the LAST TIME! I CAN'T MAKE ANY HONEY!! Just because you gave me flowers and an entire fucking hive doesn't mean I can't just make honey. I'm not that kind of bee.
Malice: But… What if you tried hard enough though?
Rumble Bee: THAT'S STILL WON'T FUCKING WORK!!
Burly Bob: YOU SHOULD GIVE UP WHILE YOUR AT IT ROBO GIRL! EVEN WE TRIED FINDING A WAY AND IT IS STILL IMPOSSIBLE.
Rumble Bee: AGAIN! I can't make honey because I’m not that kind of bee! Look if you want it so bad why don't you just buy it? Or Rob it I guess…
Burly Bob: NEGATORY MY FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD APIS MELLIFERA. COMMON HONEY HAS TOO MANY ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, MY MUSCLE WOULD BE IN CRISIS.
Malice: When's the next stop to the groceries store?
Rumble Bee: I think about 10 minutes from now.
***
[28 DAYS PASSED, 8:00 P.M. UTC]
SYNTAX CHATROOM - [FOR (SOMEWHAT BUSINESS-RELATED USE ONLY]
Malice: So there’s rules now??
Mira: Always have been. Of course, considering your role you won’t easily break these rules but they do need to be kept in mind for every new world.
Zanille: Don’t tell the natives about the Gameoverse/Win Condition in any way, shape or form; You can’t physically damage or even affect any native until their Win Condition is completed. Those are two primary rules to keep in mind primarily. There are a lot more minor ones though they tend to affect specific worlds.
Malice: Oh God. Do I need to memorize them all.
Zanille: Ideally. But we’re not perfect either. So just the two would do.
Malice: What happens if I break ‘em?
Mira: The respective world would freeze, so the system’s built in security activates to eliminate any foreign elements tied to how they’re activated. It’s in the form of these pillars of light that can move around and kill people under them. They’re incredibly dangerous with a 55% mortality rate. I remember it had taken a few of our ex-Syntax members and many Floaties as well as Farcade agents.
Zanille: I’m pretty sure someone broke the rules deliberately to kill a Farcade agent one time. Can’t remember who though… I think both of them got deleted.
Malice: How come you don’t remember something like that? That sounds kinda badass.
Mira: …This is just my hypothesis. But it’s likely the fact we don’t remember who they are is due to the world’s immunity system.
Malice: …Oh.
Mira: We still remember the event. But anything from identity, face, name or a record of identification seems to simply… disappear.
Zanille: Death is one thing. But getting erased out of existence like that?! Syntax or Farcade, no one wants that shit.
Malice: Hmm… yeah. That does sound terrifying.
Karl Killem: It’s the unfair system that is this world. Everything in it is bounded by rules and lines of codes etched into the very concepts and center cores of each and every world. If god truly exists, they are one sick EOD Specialist.
Zanille: Alright, cool it with the dramatics gramps.
Karl Killem: Dramatics is also part of the job. Unless you forgot the 20-50-30 rules.
Malice: What?
Mira: 20% Plans, 50% Effort, 30% Drama. All of us are victims of the Gameoverse. We can’t really control some parts of ourselves, the ones who're more theatrical.
Zanille: That would be me. And Bob.
Mira: So we set up this little rule to help with some of our, uh, quirks. It’s not really an official rule more so a personal one to help us.
Malice: Oooooh. Ok.
Malice: Questions about the Floaties.
Mira: Yes?
Malice: Whenever there’s a new Floaties, do you need to have Warrick impregnate you?
Mira: aojfroipjwoipjfoijaiojoipjopsdjoijfaoijawjfp