Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Liquid Courage
How Hiroto ended up dragging a man heavier and taller than himself was beyond him. But if not him, then who else would bother taking a very drunk Kota back to his hotel room?
Everyone else was either just as drunk as his friend (if not worse), or was designated to stay sober for the sake of the others.
Earlier, Show offered to take Kota back, but he was unexpectedly dragged back towards the bar by Suzuki and Ryoji, yelling about dropping the 'group dad' act. Hiroto thought about asking either Aoi or Nosuke for help, but all he got was the directions and the key to Kota's hotel room.
He sighed, looking down at the key card then promptly shoving it inside his pocket. Hiroto then spares an apologetic glance at the man draped across his shoulders, slipping in and out of consciousness as the alcohol clouds his brain.
"Guess it's just going to be me." Hiroto chuckles under his breath, "Hold on tight, Kota-kun."
As the two vocalists began to walk out of the restaurant and into the dimly lit streets of Thailand, Hiroto began to recall the events prior to this "solo mission" he had brought upon himself.
Tonight was supposed to be about celebrating another successful performance between the two groups. And for as long as all fourteen of them could remember, their groups had been sharing stages since their debut, making people, and themselves, happy with the opportunity to collaborate and create something wonderful.
But due to the unpredictability of everyone's tolerance to foreign alcohol, the night ends with most of them totally wasted.
Kota especially had too many shots of a local Thai spirit that was recommended to them by the bartender at the restaurant they all ate at. Thankfully, the restaurant was a walking distance from their hotel, making Hiroto a little confident in getting Kota and himself back to the hotel safe and sound.
A few minutes later, as Hiroto carefully held onto the arm slung around his shoulder, Kota began to stir. "Hngh..."
"Hey, Kota-kun," the blonde says passively, accompanied by the uneven sounds of his and Kota's feet dragging across the pavement.
"H..home... Yet?" Kota groans, his droopy eyes adjusting to the dim surroundings.
Hiroto shook his head gently with a smile. "We're almost there."
The raven-head nods, his head spinning as he tries hard to fight back the urge to puke. Hiroto laughs at his tense expression.
The walk back to the hotel took less than 15 minutes, thanks to Kota finally getting a hold of his own weight and making the trip easier on Hiroto's shoulders. Before they knew it, they were stepping out of the elevator and into the floor where Kota's room was on. While on the way to his room, Kota lets out a drowsy hum.
"Oh... Kukku? It's you..?"
Hiroto could see the way Kota's eyebrows furrowed with confusion, then later relaxed into this comfortable expression. As if he were a large cat, he nuzzles into the crook of Hiroto's neck. Naturally, this catches the blonde off guard.
"W-woah, hey! That's not—" A blush spreads across Hiroto's face as Kota breathes down on his neck, pushing himself closer against the blonde's body. Hiroto didn't mind so much, knowing that his friend was just flat-out drunk and wasn't doing this consciously, but it was still a little embarrassing, especially since anyone could see them at any time and misunderstand the whole situation completely.
Soon, they arrived at Kota's room. While still keeping a hold of Kota's arm, Hiroto pats himself down for the key card and quickly fishes it out of his pocket. He taps the card against the lock, and staggers inside the room, the black-haired vocalist in tow.
Hiroto was thinking of just leaving Kota on the bed, since it seemed that he was capable of taking care of himself, but he decided against it, the strange urge to look after his friend overcoming him.
"Do you need help? I could stay here if you'd like." Hiroto asks, plopping Kota down on the bed.
The raven-head was quiet for a moment, seemingly in thought, before giggling like a teenager. "Kukku is so thoughtful. Do you take care of everyone like this..?"
"Haha, no." The blonde answers truthfully, "When I go out drinking with my friends, they usually take care of me or let others take care of them. I'm very spoiled." Hiroto smiles fondly.
Kota lets out a hum, leaning back on the bed with his arms supporting his body. He turns his face towards Hiroto, a strange look visible in his eyes.
Hiroto cocks his head to the side in confusion.
"You know, Kukku..." Kota began, "You've always been so kind to me. You care for me a lot, and that— that makes me really happy."
The blonde's face lights up with surprise, shocked with how Kota manages to switch up from a clingy drunk to an emotional one.
"Well, uh, you're welcome!" He replies, thinking it was the most appropriate response to his friend's words. Kota could only chuckle.
"I don't mean just now, or when we debuted... I also mean it when we first met at the auditions... And when we became members of CROONERZ together." Kota continued to reminisce, that strange look in his eyes unfaltering. "Even when we weren't teammates anymore in the second chapter. We were almost never apart.... I'm much better now, but I'll never forget how bad we were at dancing, haha."
Hiroto nods, suddenly feeling the nostalgia of their days in ICON Z. It was true that he and Kota were never seen too far from each other. Especially during their time as members of CROONERZ, they would always be known as the kids who never knew how to dance, but were working just as hard as everybody else.
But Hiroto was still taken aback with how Kota randomly brought this up. Yes, he was drunk, but could a drunk man really start remembering all of that? Especially with that much sentiment?
"I'm really sorry."
Hiroto is taken back to reality with an apology out of nowhere.
"Huh, why?" The blonde could feel his eyebrows crease harder with confusion, and a hint of worry.
Kota smiled sheepishly, his eyes finally averting its gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck. "... For keeping it secret for a really, really, really long time."
Hiroto squinted, "Keeping what a secret..?"
Kota suddenly fell silent, his head completely turned away from the other. Hiroto's confusion turns into concern, then into panic as he tries to think of ways to talk to Kota without accidentally upsetting him.
Then, Kota lifts his head drowsily, and looks straight into Hiroto's eyes.
"... I like you, Kukku."
Understandably, Hiroto felt like laughing.
Not a mocking or undermining kind of laugh. More like a light-hearted, and fond laugh. Hiroto settles for a cautious giggle instead, raising a brow and inching closer to Kota, hoping he had heard him wrong.
"Did you just say you like me?" Hiroto lightly teases, thinking it was those slip-off-the-tongue things that people say when they're intoxicated.
Kota nods, lips pursed nervously.
The blonde chuckles, "Well, I like Kota-kun, too."
He meant it in a completely platonic and joking way, even pulling the other into a side hug to emphasize the playfulness behind his words.
Hiroto realized too late that Kota had thought of his response much more differently.
In a blink of an eye, Hiroto felt himself suddenly pulled towards the other man's face, pressing their lips together in a daring, yet gentle kiss. Hiroto's eyes widened in shock, clearly feeling the way Kota's hands had found purchase on the side of his jaw, attempting to deepen their kiss. The blonde inwardly cringed at the sensation of their teeth knocking against each other, and the taste of alcohol still lingering in Kota's mouth, but Hiroto strangely began to kiss back. His own hands, which lay frozen on his lap, were now reaching for the raven-head's shoulders, fingers quivering with excitement.
A minute had already passed before the two quickly pulled apart for air, their breaths mingling against each other's lips. A thin trail of saliva showed proof of their connection, furiously driving Hiroto to pull Kota back into another, hungrier kiss.
Maybe Kota had shared some of his intoxication through their first kiss, because Hiroto can't seem to reach the depths of his mind — all of it clouded with this strange urge to continue whatever this was. Soon, Kota's tongue had slipped into his mouth, eager to explore the wet cavern. Hiroto whimpers at the intrusion, the taste of Kota becoming harder to resist.
It was when Kota had moaned his name into his mouth, Hiroto finally felt clarity hit him square in the head.
Using the hands he had placed on Kota's shoulder, he quickly gathered as much force as he could to shove the other man away, making Kota land backwards onto the bed with a surprised gasp.
"Wh— Kukku—?" Kota sputters, his mind delayed as Hiroto rushes away from his side.
Hiroto was supposed to run away without saying another word, but he couldn't help but look back, and stare at the state Kota was in.
The raven-head looked up at him, eyes glassy with confusion and hurt; as if he was asking what he did wrong. But he didn't say a word, simply breathing heavily as he continued to stare.
"Kota-kun, I—" he stammered, feeling nervous under that pleading gaze. "You... What we did is— it's wrong, we shouldn't have done that."
Kota shifts wildly into a sitting position, his face now in pure disbelief. "But, you said you liked me too! I... I thought we were—"
"You’re drunk,” Hiroto cuts in. “And so am I, so, we should just… S-stop this before we do anything we both regret, okay?” He cards a shaky hand through his hair, wiping away cold sweat.
Hiroto was conscious enough to keep his voice calm, but his lips quiver as he finishes his sentence, slowly backing away towards the door. Even from afar, he could see the way Kota's lips and eyebrows twitch at his words, slowly going over them again and again, in his mind. Hiroto ultimately decides to flee, not wanting to see more of the pitiful expression Kota was bound to wear on his face.
The sound of the door closing against its frame was louder than he had expected, somewhat intensifying the sudden tightness in his chest, as the reality of the situation sinks in.
It feels unfair to Kota if Hiroto would be the one caught crying tears inside of the elevator; especially if Kota was going to wake up with a hangover, and painful memories from the night before.
But it doesn't sit right with him if everything that just happened could be forgotten by the very man who confessed his feelings to him through liquid courage — though, Hiroto thinks it would be just as bad if Kota remembers.
Whatever the outcome may be, Hiroto still can't help but release the breath he's been holding as soon as the elevator comes to a stop. His footsteps are dull against the carpeted halls of the hotel, as he finally makes it into his room, relieved that Ghee hasn't returned yet. He shuts the door a little too hard, echoing the heavy, yet empty sound he could feel pounding against his ribs.
The tears finally flow down his face like a river as he slumps against the door.
In all honesty, Hiroto doesn't know why he's crying. Maybe it's the fact that he made out with a close friend of his, or the fact that he may never be able to recover their friendship after this. But it wasn't like any of this was his fault, right? Neither was it Kota’s.
He still had a hard time figuring out whether or not his feelings were real, or he was just saying whatever his alcohol-addled mind was telling him to say.
But deep inside, Hiroto wants to run back and apologize. Or maybe ask Kota for an apology. Perhaps both. Hiroto wasn't as drunk as him, so there was no denying the warmth he felt while they held each other close. It was a feeling that Hiroto dangerously wants to feel again.
But that would be impossible now, wouldn't it?