Chapter Text
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“Namjoon!” Ten year old Kim Seokjin shouted. “Joonie, where are you?!”
The sound of crunching leaves echoed around the ravenette as his sneakers pounded the ground. It was getting dark, and the forest was starting to look scarier and scarier with each passing second, tall trees looming over him and the air getting colder.
It was a stupid fight. A fight that could have been avoided if Seokjin had kept his promise to look after his eight year old friend’s dog Rapmon and not let him out of his sight. Because of Seokjin’s negligence, Rapmon had escaped into the woods, and he didn’t notice for hours. Namjoon had run off into the woods to find the little white dog, and Seokjin just let him go, still angry.
Now it was two hours later, and Namjoon still hadn’t returned from the forest. Seokjin’s parents warned him about going into the woods, as it was inhabited by wild animals. But the child didn’t listen. He had to find Namjoon. His parents would be home soon, and they’d be worried sick about him.
Seokjin left Namjoon’s house, grabbing a flashlight as the sun was starting to set. He couldn’t leave his best friend out there for himself. He felt stupid for allowing Namjoon to be by himself for so long. When Seokjin found him, he would never let go again. He would apologize profusely and beg for Namjoon’s forgiveness, despite being two years older than him. Never again would he betray his best friend’s trust.
Soon, the sun had completely set and the moon was out. Seokjin had been running around for god knows how long, waving his flashlight around in hopes of catching the white fur of Rapmon or Namjoon’s spiky black hair. The worry set in even harder when Seokjin remembered that Namjoon was a clumsy child, always tripping over anything and everything and injuring himself. What if he had fallen and he hurt his leg? There were wild animals in these woods that could take advantage of his injury.
Seokjin ran faster, shouting Namjoon’s name even louder. He suddenly heard familiar whining, but it was weak.
“Rapmon…?!” Seokjin’s heartbeat quickened as he hurried over to the noise.
There was blood.
Seokjin screamed in horror when he saw Rapmon laying on the ground, bleeding from his stomach. Entrails were hanging out, brown and red. Dried blood stained his white fur, and he was breathing heavily. Not knowing what to do, Seokjin ran away, running deeper into the woods. He had dropped his flashlight along the way, so he didn’t have any idea what direction he was going. Seokjin was bawling now, wailing for Namjoon, and then wailing for his mother and father. He tripped over a fallen limb, landing face first on the ground. He felt his right leg throb painfully when he tried to get up. Sobbing, the child crawled over to a nearby tree and leaned his back against it, covering his face with his hands as he continued to cry.
The sound of a soft growl made Seokjin raise his head. The ravenette froze in fear as he saw an animal approach him slowly. He could tell by the face and ears that it was a fox. It’s fur was snow white, whiter than Rapmon’s. It had red eyes, piercing through the darkness of the woods. Seokjin didn’t know if his mind was playing tricks with him, or if this was an illusion, but he could have sworn that he saw several tails on the fox.
“S-Stay away from me!” Seokjin shrieked, backing away from the animal. “Get away!”
As the fox slunk closer, Seokjin could see blood on the fox’s muzzle. Was this animal that fatally wounded Rapmon?! Seokjin stretched his hands out instinctively in case the fox pounced. But it didn’t. The fox simply licked his palm, nuzzling it gently. Seokjin opened one eye after realizing that he had squeezed his eyes shut. The ravenette slowly lowered his arms. Upon closer inspection, the fox had one tail, which was swishing back and forth languidly. The fox barked sharply, turning around to take a few steps forwards before looking back at the child expectantly. Seokjin slowly stood, wincing at the pain in his right ankle. The fox yipped again before walking away.
Seokjin knew he shouldn’t follow the animal that was responsible for Rapmon’s inevitable death. And he should really continue searching for Rapmon. But… something was pulling at him, telling him to follow the fox. So Seokjin did. He blindly let the fox lead him away. They didn’t pass by Rapmon, which worried Seokjin slightly. Where was the fox taking him? If the fox really wanted to harm him, it would have done it already. So what was going on?
After what felt like ages, limping along the forest floor with occasional yips and barks from the fox, they were at the entrance into the forest. Seokjin almost fainted in relief. The fox yipped once more, Seokjin looking down at it. The fox stared at him, its red eyes flashing for a second, causing Seokjin to feel dizzy for a moment. Only a moment. Looking back up, Seokjin could see his house and Namjoon’s house in the distance.
The ravenette ran out of the woods, but stopped for a moment. He turned around to thank the animal, but it was gone. Clenching his fists, Seokjin hobbled towards his own house. Maybe Namjoon was already back home, Seokjin reasoned with himself. Maybe the same fox led Namjoon back. He knew Namjoon would cry when he found out Rapmon was dead. If Namjoon possibly hadn’t come upon the dog, Seokjin would tell his dongsaeng that he couldn’t find him. It wasn’t ideal, but at least Namjoon would have the hope that Rapmon was at least still alive. That would hurt him a lot less than saying an albino fox killed the dog.
Seokjin couldn’t wait to apologize to Namjoon for being such a lousy best friend. He would apologize tomorrow. But… the next morning, Namjoon was not at home. In fact, his family wasn’t home either. It was like they had disappeared off the face of the earth. When Seokjin inquired his parents about it, his mother just smiled uneasily, saying that Namjoon and his parents moved. The ravenette frowned, tears trailing down his face. Why? Why would they just leave without saying anything? Namjoon wouldn’t do something like that. He was his best friend.
Later that day, two police cars came to Namjoon’s house, Seokjin having no idea why they were there. However, after that day, Seokjin suddenly couldn’t remember Namjoon’s name. And eventually, he couldn’t remember what he looked like, what he sounded like, nothing. And as years went by, Kim Namjoon became a forgotten memory, as if he had never existed at all.
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Ten Years Later…
Seokjin woke up with a start. His head was pounding, as it did every morning when he had that dream. A dream about a white fox leading him home. The twenty one year old groaned, getting out of his twin sized bed. He’d been having the same dream for a decade now. Sometimes he would have it once every two months, sometimes once a week. This time, there was only a three day interval. Why was he all of a sudden having the same dream so frequently?
Seokjin knew the dream wasn’t baseless. As a child, he lived in a neighborhood that was in a forested area, but no one ever went deep inside for fear of the unknown. He and his family had since moved from there, moving to the more heavily populated part of Seoul where there were no forests to be seen. It was a concrete jungle where trees were replaced by skyscrapers and the dangerous animals were speeding cars. Seokjin adjusted well to the change in scenery, attending middle school and high school in the city.
Every time Seokjin would have the dream, all he could remember when he woke up was the fox. It’s haunting red eyes gazing at him, hypnotizing him. He couldn’t remember why he was even in the woods, or even how he got there. It was scary, but intriguing. Thanks to the same dream, Seokjin was interested in the brain and how it worked. How humans were wired mentally. He decided to major in psychology after graduating high school. People were expecting him to major in performing arts, since he was a wonderful singer and actor, always starring in the school’s biannual musicals. His talent along with his amazingly good looks was a killer, as if he was made to be in the entertainment industry.
One of the people who thought Seokjin would go into acting was Kim Taehyung, his friend three years younger than him who also had a talent for acting and singing. They were close friends, their bond even closer when they confided in each other that they were gay. Now here they were, attending the same college, Seoul National University, with Taehyung as a freshman and Seokjin as a junior.
Speaking of which, Seokjin was supposed to meet his best friend at the bus stop so they could ride to their urban university together. Taehyung had texted him in the middle of the night, revealing that he had a one night stand with a guy in his apartment building, and that they should ride the bus together back to campus. That explained the loud moans Seokjin had heard from the floor above him.
Seokjin quickly got dressed, pulling on a warm sweater and jeans to beat out the January cold. Of course, it wasn’t even five minutes after they met up that Taehyung started spouting nonsense at him.
“So as you can see, Dr. Kim, because my sex life is so fucked up, I feel empty and hollow inside. Tell me, what is my diagnosis?”
Seokjin sighed. “First of all, Taehyung, just because I’m majoring in psychology doesn’t mean I can give you advice or diagnose your special brand of crazy. I’m not a psychiatrist. Second, you’re not empty inside physically. You’re full of semen from the absurd amount of fucking you do. However, the reason why you’re empty inside emotionally is because you’re not cut out for pointless and meaningless hookups. You want more. So my advice to you is to keep it in your pants until you find yourself a serious boyfriend.”
Taehyung, gasped and covered his mouth in mock horror. “No way!” He wailed. “You want me to be abstinent like you? Count me out.”
Seokjin clicked his tongue, ruffling Taehyung’s brown hair. “I’m not exactly abstinent, Tae. I’ve just been too busy with school, you know that. I’m going to be even busier since I’ve taken on tutoring for literature.”
“Please, no one’s gonna get tutored for that.” Taehyung scoffed as the bus arrived at the stop next to Seoul National University. “It requires too much thinking. They’re just gonna suffer through it like the rest of us.”
“Well, my professor says otherwise.” Seokjin flicked Taehyung’s forehead as they got off the bus. “Besides, I already have a student who requested my services after only having the advertisement up for three days. His last name’s Kim, I think. He didn’t write down his name, just his initials N.K. I meet him today after my class. Speaking of which, you better get to class. You’re not skipping Algebra again today.”
“Fine.” Taehyung pouted. “I wish you were my boyfriend, hyung. You’d make sure I didn’t fail any of my classes.”
“I’m doing that regardless.” The ravenette chortled. “Besides, we’ve already established that we have zero romantic chemistry towards each other. It’d be like dating a little brother.”
Taehyung smiled a boxy grin. “Yeah, I know. Dreaming doesn’t hurt, though!”
After bidding his friend farewell, Seokjin walked away to his class. Taehyung’s words about abstinence got him thinking. Seokjin wasn’t abstinent, per se. He was just waiting for the right guy to come along. Living in Korea where homosexuality wasn’t accepted was extremely difficult. A few guys had made passes at Seokjin before, but something inside of Seokjin was telling him to wait. So, in a way, Seokjin may be abstinent. But it wasn’t like he was against having sex, waiting until marriage, or perpetuating the idea of being pure. What was considered pure was subjective, anyway. Seokjin just had a feeling that waiting was the best thing for him to do. When the right one comes along, Seokjin would be more than happy to get intimate.
Seokjin found it slightly sacrilegious that he was thinking about sex right before entering his religious studies class, so he pushed his lack of a sex life to back of his mind. Despite being nonreligious, Seokjin adored his religious studies class. He enjoyed learning about what exactly makes up a religion, the history behind it. He also was intrigued by the psychology behind belief.
Seokjin entered the liberal arts building and quickly jogged up the steps to the second floor. He was always the first one to get to class, like the nerd he was. The fact that he wore black thick rimmed glasses didn’t help the stereotype, but whatever. Hakuna matata. Because he was always the first one to get to class, he didn’t expect to see another student sitting in the very back. Seokjin couldn’t help the gasp that left his lips when he saw a guy with silver, almost white hair, lounging on a desk. The student’s eyes immediately landed on Seokjin, almost burning into him. Seokjin tried to play off his surprise with an awkward smile, sitting down at his usual desk at the very front of the classroom.
Seokjin had never seen this student before. In fact, he’d never seen someone who dyed their hair silver. Seokjin was slightly curious about the student, but he kept his gaze forward, not wanting to embarrass himself further. However, the sound of a chair scraping across the floor made Seokjin whip his head around. The silver haired student had gotten out of his seat and was walking towards him, sitting in the desk right next to him.
“Um… good morning?” Seokjin greeted, his voice slightly higher pitched from discomfort.
The student said nothing, his gaze still intense. Despite the awkwardness rising in him, Seokjin took a moment to take in the guy’s features. He had an angular face, dimples flashing when his lips twitched, amused. His eyes were slanted, and his ears were slightly pointed on the tips. He had thick lips and slightly tanned skin. He looked kind of fox-like and mysterious.
Seokjin snapped out of his thoughts when the student smiled at him, his dimples deepening.
“Hi, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable,” He apologized, his voice deep and riveting. “I’m new here, and so far I’ve scared off everyone that I’ve wanted to introduce myself to.”
“No, no, it’s alright,” Seokjin replied immediately. “You didn’t scare me. I’m just kind awkward, sorry.”
The student chuckled. “Oh, I’m glad I didn’t scare you. You’re really pretty, so it would’ve been a shame if I had screwed up your first impression of me.”
“U-Uh...” Seokjin felt heat shoot up his face. This guy had to be a foreigner. That would explain the strange hair color, his shameless staring, and his confidence to call Seokjin, or just a male in general, pretty. Was he Korean-American?
The student laughed again. “I’m being too forward, aren’t I?” Other students started filing in, so the silver haired stood up. “I’ll try again later when we’re both not as flustered.” He said with a wink.
Seokjin shivered at how smooth the guy was. However, the suave image was shattered when the new student tripped over his shoelaces, falling down face first onto the floor. Seokjin covered his mouth to hide his giggles when the student groaned, his ego being the only thing that was injured.
“Hey, are you okay?” Seokjin asked through his giggles (yes, Seokjin was that asshole who laughed at people falling before asking if they were okay).
The mysterious student slowly grinned. “I’m okay now.”
Seokjin quickly turned back around, trying to will his blush away. The ravenette had never been so easily flustered by a guy in his entire life. Even Taehyung’s eccentricities never fazed him this much. Class started promptly, so Seokjin did his best to ignore the weird feeling bubbling up inside of him. Today’s lesson was on myths in religion and folklore. The teacher, Professor Lee, started off the lesson by inquiring the class’s knowledge.
“Can anyone name off some common myths?” Professor Lee had asked the class.
Several named off Christian myths, such as the creation of world, and Adam and Eve. Others mentioned Hindu myths, like how the god Ganesha attained the head of an elephant. One girl mentioned a myth in Korean folklore: the Kumiho.
“The Kumiho, the nine-tailed fox, is a popular one.” Professor Lee said. “Foxes in literature in general have always been depicted as tricksters, sly. And sometimes even evil, as in this case. The story of the Kumiho has varied slightly throughout history. The myth in modern day depicts the nine-tailed fox as an evil spirit that eats the hearts and livers of human beings by seducing them, usually shapeshifting into a seductive maiden. The purpose of a myth is to present truths, and even if truths are altered, the myth itself doesn’t care.”
“Why doesn’t it care if it’s true?” Seokjin spoke up, writing down notes. “People are meant to believe this stuff, right? So why would something that can be easily changed or altered be presented as truths?”
“Because it just doesn’t matter.” The silver-haired student suddenly said.
Seokjin turned around with the rest of class to look at him. Even the professor was slightly surprised.
“It doesn’t matter, because myths are all about control.” The silver haired continued, staring directly at Seokjin. “As long as people believe what is being presented, that’s all the myth is for. Like Professor Lee said, the purpose of a myth is to present truths. It’s up to us if we believe said truth or not. As a result, it has control over people who do believe. It’s fascinating, really. How much control myths have over numerous cultures around the world, despite not even being proven or scientifically feasible. Myths are always surreal and outlandish. People are attracted to stuff like that because it doesn’t seem possible. People blindly believe what they hear and don’t even try to think about it rationally. The myth of the Kumiho is a perfect example. Without even investigating, they automatically assume nine-tailed foxes are evil without ever meeting one. Then again, it also can’t be proven that they’re not evil, or that they even exist. So the control of people from the Kumiho myth comes from fear. Fear is a popular method of control throughout history of the world. Religion is no different.”
The entire classroom was silent. Seokjin was pretty sure that his mouth was hanging open, but he didn’t care. That was an extremely profound statement the new guy just made. Where had he been hiding his entire life?
Professor Lee smiled warmly. “Some of the things you said can be debatable, but you are absolutely correct that myths are usually outlandish and has intrigued millions of people for centuries. You have an interesting theory on myths being used for control, but once again, that is debatable.”
Seokjin tried to focus on the lesson, but the student’s words were swirling around in his head. The psychology behind belief is interesting indeed. And the new guy brought up a good point about fear being used to control people.
Needless to say, when class ended, Seokjin left enlightened. He didn’t even bother looking back at the new student, too lost in thought. Unbeknownst to the ravenette, the silver haired student smirked, eyes twinkling mischievously as he watched Seokjin leave the room.