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Suo wishes he could say he's surprised when he learns that Furin showed up in Bankoku-gai.
Maybe he is, to some extend. He didn't think they would track him back so soon. It's not even been a month. Barely a month, since he last drank tea at Pothos with them, since he last teased Sakura or exchanged a long gaze with Kiryu at Tsugeura's loud antics. Since he said "See you tomorrow" with no intention of coming back. Since he left Nirei unconscious on the ground with an apology cowardly whispered into the wind.
He's on the balcony of the Red Chanpuru's headquarters — as he often is lately — looking at the vast blue sky smeared by the fumes of the numerous industrial chimneys of the cities rising in the air, when he hears the door open behind him.
"Knew I'd find you here."
Suo hums noncommittally, his eyes following the shape of a colorful kite swaying in the wind further in the city.
"What is it, gēge? [1] There's nothing schedule for the afternoon."
His 'brother' steps closer to him, silk clothes adorning similar patterns than his owns, and stays silent for a little while, taking in the view before dropping the news on him with false nonchalance.
"I've been informed there's a small group of outsiders in town since this morning, roaming the streets and asking everyone for a guy they're looking for. From what I heard, the description fits you an awful lot. Know anything about that, Sǔn Fēi ?"
The words fall on him like a merciless rain, freezing his bones and feeling his lungs with anxiety. Anger flares inside of him for an instant. Why? Why did they have to try and find him? After he has made sure to leave nothing behind and cut all ties. After he's been so cruel. After all the truths he hid and the trusts he broke.
An icy realization washes over him and anger is replaced by resignation.
Suo's hands twitch behind his back and he bites his tongue before turning to the other man, empty smile on his face.
"Ah. I'll see to it, give me a moment..."
His thoughts are loud in the silence that envelops him as he makes his way downstairs. The wooden stairs creak under his feet, there's a small tremor in his fingers. He flexes them behind his back, takes deep breaths as he reaches the busy streets outside the building.
The people in the streets greet him happily. Ever since he came back, he constantly runs into people telling him how happy they are that he's home again. Suo smiles, pats children on the head as they come running toward him, he even takes the time to link arms with an old lady and walk her down a couple streets.
Home.
He is home.
He takes it all in, the busy streets, the noise all around, the colors of the fabrics, the smells of food carried by the wind, the laughers and the life all around. The city he's sworn to protect. Home.
If he closes his eye, he can hear the clear ringing of wind chimes in the distance.
He asks a couple of merchants and a few passerby who put him in the right direction, and he finds the people he's looking for standing in the middle of a square shaded by an elegant tree with brownish red leaves.
Suo see them before they do. His breath catches in his throat and his chest feels so tight it's almost painful. It's absurd, how quickly he's drawn to blond hair next to bright gold and silver eyes. His entire body tenses up, like his brain can't decide of his next move. Flee or fall at their feet and beg for forgiveness.
Nirei's skin is clean and there's no trace of injury anymore. Suo's blows have faded away, even though he can still feel the impact all the way to the tip of his fingers when he lays down at night. Nirei looks tired and jittery, brows furrowed as he talks with Sakura. And Sakura… Sakura's body is probably as tense as Suo's right now. He looks ready to snap any minute now. He ruffles his hair with an exasperated look in his face, scowling.
Oh, how he missed them. These idiots. After all the trouble he went through to dissuade them to follow after him, they're still standing here. Stubborn, emotional idiots.
The rational part of his brain praises them for at least choosing to enter the city in casual clothes instead of the Furin uniform. They're already making themselves stand out way to much as it is, half of Red Chanpuru would be out there in the blink of an eye if such a large group of people had showed up in matching uniforms… But still.
That's a lot of faces. Probably half of class 1-1, and Suo easily catches sight of Kiryu and Tsugeura in the crowd. Umemiya is there, expression serious but warm, picture perfect of the reliable big brother. Sugishita sticks to his side, usual scowl on his face. Hiiragi, looking so worned-out. Even Kaji is here and… Endo? Suo's lips twitch. Oh. It's his doing, uh?
Annoyance creeps up his spine. It all makes sense. So Sakura went to Endo for help. Was he really that desperate to find him? Is he pissed for what Suo did to Nirei? Suo has seen a lot of emotions in Sakura's eyes in the past. He wonders what he will sees when those eyes fall on him. Disappointment? Fury? Hatred?
Suo straightens his shoulders and raises his chin slightly as he steps forward, just enough to be noticed, purposely staying out of reach. A smile finds his way to his lips, steady habit he doesn't even have to think about anymore.
"Did no one tell you it's impolite to barge into someone's home unannounced?"
Every eyes are on him in a heartbeat. Suo feels like he's suffocating.
"Suo-san!" Nirei's voice rises above the rest and wobbles under the emotion. Suo looks at him and his heart sinks. Why does he looks so happy to see him? It makes no sense. Not after what he did. His eyes are glimmering with determination, and the next moment, joy makes way for anger. That, Suo understands.
Suo's eyes shift to his left, to his Grade Captain. Former Grade Captain. Sakura doesn't say anything. He just stares. He looks ready to explode.
"I don't know what you thought you would accomplish by coming here, but it's pointless." Suo hopes his voice is cold enough. His smile stretches on his lips, empty and dry and painful. He hopes his eye doesn't betray him. Prays that his body stays unwavering.
"Don't you fucking dare trying to pretend everything is fine!"
And oh. Yeah. Sakura is pissed. His hands are balled into fists and he looks ready to pounce.
"Sakura-kun, coming in uninvited and insulting your host ? What are we do to with you?" there's a hint of tease in Suo's voice, out of habit, but it doesn't reach his eye.
"Oh yeah because vanishing without a word is so much better right? What the fuck is going on Suo?"
Suo knew. He knew Sakura would be too stubborn to back down and just accept things as they are. He's always walking forward, always looking straight ahead, faltering but never stopping. Suo used to admire that about him. Now it just frustrates him to no end.
"I have nothing to say to you. I recall sending a withdrawal notice, did I not? I don't see what else needs to be discussed here." Suo hasn't moved, keeping himself out of reach from his former classmates. The commotion makes people gather around the square, curious and wary eyes looking at the scene. He can feel the attention on them, from the townspeople, but also his 'brothers' and other members of the Red Chanpuru. He cannot falter now. His gaze hardens, his voice drops lower. "You're not welcomed here and we have no business with Bofurin. Please leave."
Please.
"Suo-san..." it's Nirei's voice and Suo can't even watch him in his eyes without being reminded of how he treated him. "Let us help you. You don't have to suffer alone. That's what family is for right? That's what Furin is for!"
Suo so desperately wants to trust him. To take the extended hand and pour his heart out to them. To pretend that life is easy and light and they can just go back to what they all were. Except he can't.
"Nire-kun. You're too naive." the words feel like sandpaper on his tongue. Yet he forces the next sentence out. "Makochi isn't my home and Furin has never been my family. This…" he opens his arms, gesturing to the scenery around them "… is where I belong, so-"
"CUT THE CRAP SUO!"
"Sakura, wait-" Umemiya and Hiiragi have to hold Sakura back from trying to throw himself at him, predictably to punch him. Suo would let him, if he's being honest. He deserves it. And maybe a fist in the face would punch all of his feelings out of his body and he could be done with it instead of being so aware of the pit of despair in his stomach.
"Go home, Sakura-kun. It's my last warning." There's murmurs in the crowd now, and Suo knows his time is up. "I'll have someone escort you out of the city. Thank you for stopping by."
He needs to get away from them before they are deemed dangerous by the Red Chanpuru, or worse, that his resolve crumbles. Sakura is still fighting against Umemiya's hold, yelling at Suo to "Stop being a fucking hypocrite!" and to "Fight me you coward!" when Suo notices Kaji and Kiryu are holding Nirei back too, the blond boy with the same fury in his eyes than Sakura. The rest of this classmates are looking at him like he's a stranger. It hurts more than he thought it would.
Suo looks away and his eye drops to the fallen leaves at their feet and it suddenly dawns on him what the tree behind them is.
'In flower language it means…'
A Dogwood tree.
'Do you think I'm indifferent toward you? Do you think that I don't care about you?'
He wants to laugh. Or cry. Maybe both, but he keeps the tempest inside him in check and scoffs, appalled by the irony. From the corner of his eye, he can see two figure stepping up next to him.
"Sǔn Fēi. Time to go." He sees the confusion in Sakura and Nirei's eyes at his name uttered in mandarin. That's the last straw. He turns around swiftly, making his way back for the headquarters' building without a look back. His face is a blank mask he refuses to let slip.
He heads straight for the balcony.
When a warm breeze flows all around him, he's overcome by the need to yank his collar open. He can't breathe.
Instead, he closes his eye and forces himself to inhales slowly.
And if his lips quiver and his breath catches in his throat in a sob, only the wind will know...