Chapter Text
Being out to your family is one thing, they’re all carny folk anyway what do they care, but letting everyone at your college know was another thing entirely. Patrick decided to not say a word, planned to never say a word about it. Not until he had to. Maybe it’ll never come up. He’d never have a boyfriend anyway. See, nothing to worry about.
Life has a way of screwing you over though. Like assigning you to a dorm room with a guy that maybe the third sentence out of his mouth was, “I want to be upfront with you. I’m gay. I have a boyfriend. Sometimes, he’ll visit me here.” And all of that came from a mouth that was topped by the deepest, brownest, dreamiest eyes Patrick had ever seen. No, he did not just think, “dreamiest”, he’d never do that.
“Top or bottom,” Kimball Cho went on to ask him, then snickered at his own joke. But Patrick had gone ashen and had to clear his throat to ask, elegantly, “What?!” to which Kimball nearly fell over laughing.
“Couldn’t resist. Straight guys are funny. Do you want the top or bottom bunk?” Kimball was smiling. Patrick was regaining his composure.
“I don’t care, bottom, I guess,” he said surprising himself with a clear voice, “bottom bunk,” he added quickly. Patrick was less concerned with bunk assignment than he was with his rapidly disappearing chance to fess up, too. It was now or never, a perfect opportunity even, handed-to-him-on-a-silver- platter chance to tell this stranger than he’s gay, too. He’d already made up his mind not to, though. He wasn’t prepared. He couldn’t do it.
Patrick had all of one box and one suitcase with him. The box had a few basics, like sheets and whatnot, so he got them out and started making his bed. Now that he was making the bed, he was glad of his choice. Making the upper bunk was going to be a pain. He opened his suitcase and put his three pair of jeans and five shirts in the drawers, along with the new pack of unders he bought because his old ones were embarrassing. He hung his two hoodies in the closet and put his toothbrush and razor and other stuff like that in the bathroom they shared with the room adjacent to them.
“Shit” Kimball cursed. He was struggling with the fitted sheet. “Damn. Will you help me with this godforsaken sheet?”
“Sure, Kim”
“Don’t call me Kim.”
“What do I call you?” The college, in its’ infinite wisdom, thought it would be friendlier to only put first names on the name badges everyone wore for orientation.
“Cho”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“Is that a nick name or something?”
“It’s my last name,” Cho said as if Patrick was an idiot for not knowing.
“I didn’t know that. Your nametag says Kimball,” Patrick wasn’t going to be thought an idiot. Because he wasn’t. He was top of his class, thank you very much.
“Oh, yeah, I forgot the tag,” Cho looked down, “Sorry. Hold that corner.”
Patrick did as requested, quietly observing his new roommate. Unlike Patrick, Cho had come prepared. He finished up with his bed and moved onto his boxes. The first thing he pulled out of a box was a little microwave that he proceeded to plug in and set on top of the minifridge the college provided.
“You clean it after you use it and you’re welcome to it,” he said.
Patrick thought that was great and he said so. Kimball, oh wait, Cho, filled up the drawers with clothes, threw a bunch of pillows on his bed. Patrick hadn’t even thought to bring a pillow. It was on his mental list of things he really should get soon. Along with a personal coffee maker so he could heat water for his tea. In amongst the drawers and cabinets, there were two small desks built-in along the walls, each with their own chair. Patrick and Cho sat win them when they were done moving in.
“You thought of everything, “Patrick commented.
“I’ve been planning for college since before I was a freshman in high school,” Cho said with a little pride.
“Oh”
“Haven’t you?”
“God no,” Patrick had to laugh. “Didn’t think I’d even be going to college. Wouldn’t be, except I got a scholarship.” Patrick looked up to see how Cho would take that bit of info. You never knew how people were going to react when they find out you spent much of your childhood dirt poor.
“I wouldn’t be here if my grandmother hadn’t started a college fund for me,” Cho, “my parents wouldn’t have been able to afford it.”
Patrick felt better hearing that. He wasn’t ashamed of his family or his childhood. He knew he belonged in college, it’s just that sometimes it’s easier to get along with people that come from similar backgrounds. Not that he had any illusions that Cho had had a similar childhood to his. His was what he like to think of as “unique”. On the road with the show many months out of the year, having a tutor rather than going to school, working with the same kids the whole time. Patrick had grown up all over the United States, the only home he knew was the mobile home he shared with his dad. He had no idea how Cho had grown up, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t like that. He didn’t think he knew him well enough to ask.
Cho changed the subject anyway. “Did you get your ID yet?”
“Yeah, I did all that stuff this morning,” Patrick said.
“Will you come with me and show me where it is?”
“Okay”
Though neither of them said anything, they both were glad to do something together, glad they seemed to be getting along.
“So Pat…,” Cho started but Patrick stopped him.
“Oh no. Not Pat, no one calls me that,” Patrick said gravely, because no one calls him that but his father and he wouldn’t either if Patrick could get him to stop.
Cho was a little taken aback, “Sorry. I was just paying you back” Cho made a conciliatory face.
“Sorry, I’m touchy about that name. Call me Patrick or Jane,” he said.
“Jane? You’d rather be called Jane than Pat?” Cho was amused.
“It’s my last name. See you didn’t know mine, either, “Patrick was glad to have proved his earlier point.
“I think I’ll go with PattyJane” Cho said teasingly.
“Don’t you dare.”
“What’s your middle name, Sue?”
“Stop it!”
“Lucy?” Cho was full on laughing now, Patrick was, too.
“Okay, Kimmy” Patrick teased back.
That stopped Cho. “Alright, alright, we’ll go with me Cho,” pointing to himself, “you Jane” pointing to Jane, laughing it up.
“Sure, Kim, whatever you say,” Jane couldn’t resist one last jab. Cho laughed and playfully shoved Jane. They headed over to the Student Council to get Cho his ID.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next couple of weeks were all classes and homework, laundry and sleep deprivation, a blur of adjusting to college life. Patrick hadn’t eaten a proper meal in so long, he’d forgotten that people eat food that doesn’t come from a vending machine. Cho was choosy about what he ate, but he hadn’t been doing much better. They saw each other long enough to say good night and fight over who got the shower first in the morning.
Patrick was majoring in psychology, and had joined a young magicians group on campus. He got himself a job at the school library basically refiling stuff, but it was becoming clear to his boss that he was the one to send kids to who needed help navigating the stacks. He had the Dewey Decimal system memorized and could find anything.
Cho had a job in security at the local mall, the one he’d had as a senior in high school. He was a tad overzealous, but the mall hadn’t been this incident-free in ages. He’d earned the respect of the local teenagers by standing up for one of them when a shopkeeper accused them of stealing from their store. Cho knew they were nowhere near that store and wouldn’t let them get in trouble for something they hadn’t done. The shopkeeper was angry, and Cho wasn’t even rattled. The group of kids had never seen anyone handle that guy like that and they were impressed. In return, they didn’t give Cho any trouble. He was studying criminology in school and volunteered at the local homeless shelter for a couple hours every Friday.
Then one day Jane came into the room, in a hurry, like always, to find Cho sitting on his bed. Cho’s head was in his hands and his shoulders were slumped. He lept up when Jane came in, kind of bumping his head on the top bunk, which he ignored, and stood, trying to think. Jane saw he’d been crying and honestly, he didn’t know what to do.
“Cho?” Patrick said in his gentlest voice.
“Nothing. It’s nothing” Cho said still without facing Jane.
“It’s not nothing. Tell me,” Jane said. Even though they’d been busy, they had found that they had lots in common and Jane considered Cho a friend.
“This isn’t your problem,” Cho said in one last effort to avoid talking about it.
“Please?” Jane tried.
“My boyfriend just broke up with me.” Cho said and then was quiet.
Jane awkwardly patted Cho’s shoulder, shuffling a little closer to him. “I’m so sorry”
“Don’t. Don’t pity me.”
“What happened?” Jane ignored the pitying thing, because it was blatantly not true.
“Oh, nothing, never mind,” Cho mumbled, trying not to talk.
Jane had never heard this Cho before.
“Okay” he said quietly. Jane wanted to do something, though so he hugged Cho, who didn’t recoil, but he didn’t hug back, either.
“Well, that was awkward,” Jane decided to go for humor and silently thanked god it worked. He laughed and Cho laughed, albeit halfheartedly. “Homework can wait, let’s go to the café, maybe eat a meal with vegetables. We’ll talk about whatever you want,” Jane offered.
“Fine. But I only have an hour. I have to go to work,” Cho said.
“I’ll take it,” Jane said.
They ended up with fried chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli and bread. It was the most either of them had eaten at once for what seemed forever and it was delicious. They talked about their classes and traded anecdotes from work. Jane told a story about a kid who’d never heard of the Dewey Decimal system, Cho told one of the drunk that got out of hand at the mall. It was easy and fun, Cho had his guard down and Jane felt like he’d earned some new level of friendship. He felt like he had granted Cho a new level too. Cho found Jane so easy to talk to, and if pushed, he might admit he wasn’t hard on the eyes. When he smiled, Cho felt like everything would be alright.
“Thanks. For this,” Cho said, standing up to go.
“It’s going to be alright, everything’s gonna be okay,” Jane stammered, he was nervous and he didn’t know why.
“I gotta go, you okay getting back on your own?” Cho asked, picking up on Jane’s anxiety.
“Yeah, I’m good. See you tonight” Jane answered.