Chapter Text
Sukuna didn’t know when it started.
Maybe it was at Gojo’s twentieth birthday party.
He had too much to drink and smoke that night. His iron walls that he usually kept up and guard were down.
Mistakes happened that night, but he never dwelled on it too much.
Maybe it was the late night talks they had while they shared a beer together, begrudgingly studying for their midterms.
Maybe it was the late night drives around downtown, flirting with random chicks they meet; then laughing hysterically when the other got rejected.
Or maybe it was the sight of his back when they fell onto his bed. The way the room’s air filled up with the smell of sex, clothes thrown all over the room. Both of their bodies slick with sweat as they sank deeper into the bed as they catched their breath.
The sight of his eyes when he would turn over to look at Sukuna, flashing that stupid smirk that would never fail to make Sukuna scoff.
The way Sukuna’s eyes would drop down to his moles that scattered across his chiseled body, the same body that would ruin Sukuna over and over again against his will.
Though, he would never admit it out loud.
Sukuna didn’t know what to call these feelings.
If the other was a woman, he would call it love.
He knew it was love. At certain times, it was more lust than love, but he blamed it on human nature for wanting to feel another body in bed.
Even if the other body was a man.
He couldn’t accept that.
But he was too addicted to stop.
Sukuna was pulled out of his thoughts by a touch on his shoulder. He grumbled underneath his breath in annoyance, ready to scold Gojo, who he thought was the one who touched him. His annoyance faltered quickly when he saw who it actually was; a lazy half smile falling over his lips.
“Toji, already back from dropping off Megumi?” Sukuna muttered, reaching his hand up and dapping up Toji.
Toji chuckled, walking into the kitchen of their frat house and opened the fridge. His eyes searched in the fridge, slightly grimacing when he saw old leftovers starting to mold.
“Isn’t it Nanami’s turn to clean the kitchen?” Toji called out, slightly straightening his back when he looked over his shoulder and looked back at Sukuna, who was still sitting on the living room couch.
Sukuna just shrugged in return, getting up from the couch with a groan as he walked over to the living room windows. “Dunno, probably. He’s been getting caught up with Gojo’s bullshit recently. Poor guy probably hasn’t had a proper night of rest in weeks” Sukuna snorted out (he also heard Toji snorting to what he said in the kitchen) as he opened a window, his shoulders slowly relaxing as he felt the cool night air hit his skin. He brought out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter; taking a stick and putting it up to his lips.
“Was the missus still mad at you?” Sukuna asked as he lit his cigarette up, pocketing away the lighter and the box.
Toji scoffed, rolling his eyes as he remembered the interaction with his ex(?) girlfriend. “Yeah, she wasn’t supposed to have Megumi until Friday. Apparently she had a couple of birthday parties she wanted to go to this weekend” he called out from the kitchen, grabbing two beers he was looking for before heading back to the living room.
Sukuna scoffed at his words as he grabbed a beer can from Toji. He took the cigarette out from his mouth before opening his beer and taking a quick swig.
“You’ve been having Megumi less and less these days,” Sukuna pointed out as he put the cigarette back up to his mouth. He took a drag as he looked over at Toji, who was opening his beer can and taking a sip. Toji shrugged at his words, looking out the window and gazed at the warm colored sunset.
“Hm, just a lot on my mind recently,” was all Toji said before taking another sip of his beer. Sukuna just hummed in acknowledgement, blowing the smoke out the window.
Sukuna stayed silent for a while, his grip on his beer making the aluminum can slightly bend in his hand.
He could feel it.
His chance was slowly slipping away.
He needed to say it. He needs to get it off his fucking chest before he backs out for the millionth time.
If it ruins everything, then so be it.
They were graduating in two months anyways, didn’t fucking matter since they were all going their separates paths.
Sukuna turns towards Toji, his cigarette still dangling from his lips as he looks at the side of Toji’s face. He was still staring out the window, good.
Easier to say it if Toji wasn’t looking at him.
His chest filled with a similar feeling of panic, and he hated it.
Hated how a man of all things made him feel this way.
He opened his mouth to speak.
“I’m in lo-”
“I’m going to propose to her this weekend”