Chapter Text
Ever since he was forcibly sent to die for people he didn’t even know, Grace never slept well. He was right, at first. He never had the bravery gene his fellow astronauts had, and the memory of his discussion with Yáo Li-Jie still rattled around in his head. He still stood by the idea that it was a gene, no matter what his late crew member said. Even when Grace was prepared to die for a creature that sacrificed countless things just for him to live.
Because he was still terrified. It wasn’t bravery. It was never bravery. It was fear. Fear of sleeping alone again. Fear of going back to a planet that thought his life to be expendable—a sacrifice, even when he never wanted it.
They could’ve thought whatever they wanted about his cowardice. They could’ve thrown him in jail if they wanted. Killed him, even. At the end of the day, it still would’ve been his choice. A choice they only gave him three hours to make.
So, yes, he never slept well on the Hail Mary. It never felt right when every second of life felt wasted during rest. Now that he was on Erid, however, he still got no sleep. Proper sleep, that was. And that all had to do with one spritely, rocky creature he ever so aptly named Rocky.
“Grace! Grace, wake up, question? Grace! Grace! Morning! Wake up, question?” Rocky’s voice was something Grace had gotten far too used to hearing first thing in the morning, along with his incessant door-banging.
A quiet groan left Grace as he came to. It was likely midday, hence why Rocky was there for their daily hangout. It hardly mattered what time it was, however, for if his body hadn’t woken up naturally, then it was far too early to wake up. That was weird, however, considering how he always woke up early.
“Just come in, Rocky,” he whined, slapping his hand around his bedside table until he finally smacked his glasses.
“Rocky make door for Grace! Grace open door!” Rocky demanded. Grace felt the familiar combination of affection and annoyance flood his body at his friend’s words. He had yet to deny him anything, however. Not with how much he loved Rocky. So, he forced himself out of bed and trudged over to the door, pulling it open and revealing his rocky friend. However, the sun had hardly risen in his dome. Suddenly, it made sense why he was so dead inside—the hour was utterly unreasonable.
“Rocky, it’s way too early, bud. What’s wrong?” he grumbled, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes. Rocky’s legs all stomped, and he jumped up and down, barely able to keep his energy in. It was almost like dealing with a child, in many ways, though Rocky was far from childish, in the human sense.
He was supposed to be good at that. Children, to be specific. Although it was hard to believe that when he remembered almost nothing from his time in a classroom. One memory was all he had. They seemed to like him, at least. He remembered smiles and laughs, and questions that were asked without fear of embarrassment. He seemed to make a genuine impact on their lives. He…he hoped he did. He knew why things were like this, of course. A silly hypothetical that he proposed to Stratt about potentially sabotaging the mission, and suddenly, he booked a one-way ticket to Amnesia Town.
He sighed just as Rocky answered his question.
“Eridians find planet system with no sun! Sun dead, dead, dead!”
Grace wondered about that sometimes. Wondered if some stars simply died because they were too small, and Rocky and Grace were too late. They were both lucky that Sol and 40 Eridani A were still relatively large compared to most stars, and that they had life that was willing to travel light-years away just to save them. Other planetary systems didn’t have that, though Eridians had organised a mission to send capsules of Taumoeba to surrounding stars, starting with the closest and working their way out. It was a hard mission, however, and billions of stars were still going to die, with the smallest stars or the stars that were infected being the first to go. It just wasn’t new news, though. Rocky had already informed him of some stars that had sadly died already. What was wrong with this one?
“I’m sure we’ll study it today like we usually do with cases like this, but that doesn’t explain the early wake-up,” Grace pointed out, gently urging Rocky back on the right track. He trailed off far too easily, but it was endearing. It was so…Rocky.
“Eridians find moon in planet system! Weird moon! Want Grace to see! Grace see! Fun, fun, fun!”
Ah, that made sense now. Eridian scientists sometimes asked him for his opinion on certain discoveries because he, well, saw things far clearer than any of the Eridians. Rocky loved it because it was proof that Grace had integrated into Eridian society. That they valued and looked for his opinion on certain things. Grace would’ve been lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy it, too. He truly felt part of a community with the Eridians, and it was honestly life-changing to work with an alien species on something that he is so passionate about—science.
It was also far more enjoyable to interact and discuss science with them compared to humans. Not that he never missed human interaction, but from what Grace had deduced from his three-year stay on Erid, Eridians were just naturally smart. The same could not have been said for most of the human race.
Unbelievably, Rocky was one of the supposedly less knowledgeable Eridians. Grace still refused to believe it, of course. He and Rocky were birds of a feather, practically the same side of the same coin. Grace struggled with self-worth immensely; it was not a secret. Rocky was the same, and they both downplayed many of their achievements. Besides, Rocky followed the Eridian scientists’ conversations with zero difficulty. To this very day, Grace was convinced that Rocky lied to him about being less knowledgeable than his kind.
“Alright, bud, I’ll come have a look. Just give me a moment to get dressed properly, eh?” he answered. He wasn’t looking forward to having to get into that glassy suit he first wore to explore inside Rocky’s ship. He preferred to have his balance in mint condition, rather than having to constantly fight to stay upright. He definitely looked like an idiot whenever he met with other Eridians. At least some improvements had been made, so it fit a little better than that first suit he wore to explore Rocky’s ship for the first time.
And so, he gets dressed and slips (more like struggles immensely) into the xenonite suit, following Rocky out of his dome away from home. The sight that greets him still shocks him even after countless moments where he left the safe confines of his dome. Erid is beautiful, full of towering xenonite buildings crafted by dedicated engineers like Rocky. The ground is a soft, hydrated soil that allows Eridians to stay solidly upright on the ground. Grace had seen what it was like when they had to walk on solid ground—Rocky tumbled over countless times when he was too fast to stay upright. He had laughed without hesitation whenever he saw his friend roll across the ground from losing his grip.
Despite being so close to the sun, Erid received no light thanks to its thick atmosphere, which was composed mainly of greenhouse gases. The only way that Grace knew what colour it was (orange) was because of their arrival at the planet system. The closeness to the sun made sense, considering how Eridians needed extreme temperatures to live—they had just adapted to be that way because of how hot it was. It was funny how space and evolution worked, though Grace was always fascinated by it.
To assist Grace with navigating such a dark planet, he worked with Eridians to create electricity that powered lampposts. They were only placed beside the paths that he took to Rocky and Adrian’s house, along with the Eridian scientists’ lab, so it wasn’t a difficult feat. Truly, this species’ willingness to make him, a completely different species, so comfortable was so touching.
Along with the tall buildings, lack of sunlight, and soft soil, there were massive fields of minerals found in sharp, jagged stones. The Eridians mined them for their food, which Grace had unfortunately seen with Rocky.
Grace understood why Eridians ate in private. It certainly was disgusting. However, a part of him found it deeply upsetting that they did—it was out of their hands. They should never have been ashamed of their biology. Rocky practically refused to eat with Grace once they made it to Erid, and it took a great deal of reassurance and coaxing for the guy to finally do so again. Grace just…tried not to eat while Rocky was.
“So, wanna give me more information on this moon, bud?” he asked his friend, hoping to break the silence. He wasn’t sure why Rocky was so quiet, considering how he was just never like this. He wondered if this was a situation that caused so much thought in the guy that he wasn’t capable of talking.
Rocky jumped excitedly, moving his carapace in a nodding motion quicker than Grace could follow. “Yes, yes! Grace see moon! Weird moon!”
Okay. That…didn’t answer the question.
“Why is it weird?”
“Moon is rough colour! Rough colour for reason not known,” Rocky explained, though it wasn’t much of an explanation still. All Grace understood from that was that the moon was red, which wasn’t particularly abnormal. Jupiter’s moon, Lysithea, was red, after all.
“So, I assume you want me to use my eyes to examine it more?”
“Yes! Great human eyes! Human eyes see things smart Eridians can’t!”
Rocky never stopped talking after that, clearly having gotten over what was causing him so much deliberation. Grace brushed the moment off, simply following him to the Eridian scientists’ headquarters. Their research equipment was different from Earth’s and far better. Everything was practically made of xenonite, though there were countless screens made of the same material as what Rocky used to see around Grace’s ship. Grace still wasn’t sure what it was, but it rippled like sand.
“Hi, Rocky’s human!” the Eridian scientists greeted, waving ecstatically. Even after three years, Grace was never able to get them to stop referring to him in a way that implied he was a pet. He never thought about it too much, however, because every time he did, it became clear that he was practically a pet; Rocky helped prepare food for him, Adrian helped Rocky maintain Grace’s dome, Rocky visited him every day to “play”, and so on.
The Eridians loved being around Grace, however. It gave them an excuse to use human customs, such as waving, fist bumps, and a lot more. Hence why they were always so excited to greet him—it was almost like they were seeking his approval. It was sweet.
“Name is still Grace, guys. Rocky told me that you guys needed my help?” Grace greeted, getting straight into it after a quick wave to them all. They jumped up and down excitedly, stomping their legs on the ground. Grace smiled at the response.
After three years on Erid, it was as easy to communicate with the Eridians as it was to communicate with humans. Grace would never be able to speak Eridian due to anatomy, but that was no issue when Eridians had amazing memories, and he had had a long time to understand their language.
“Need help with moon! Grace see for us!” a green Eridian chirped, wasting no time in shoving a screen stolen from the Hail Mary in front of Grace’s face. That was another thing that had changed on Erid. To help Grace interact with the scientists, they took some gear from the Mary to ensure he could help. It wasn’t like the Mary was going to be used again, after all. Why let it go to waste?
Grace squinted, gently taking the screen into his hands and examining the pictures of what was, indeed, a blood red moon. He zoomed in, frowning when he noticed that the moon wasn’t entirely red. There were land masses that appeared to be purely grey, surrounded by red oceans so expansive that they practically swallowed the land. If it was virtually impossible to see land from its orbit…it must have been virtually non-existent.
There were a couple of reasons as to why an ocean would be red. On Earth, there was such a thing as a red tide, which referred to a certain type of algae bloom that caused a colour change. However, he doubted that algae existed on a moon. The only other option he knew of was that excess amounts of iron could cause a colour change in water. Specifically, a colour change to red. Meaning this moon was likely swimming in iron. Meaning the blood red oceans really were blood red. It would smell and look like blood.
“What the…” he murmured, trying to find any other detail about this moon, though it was giving him nothing.
“What’s wrong? Grace find something bad? Bad, bad, bad,” Rocky hurriedly said, huddling up to Grace’s side and hopping up and down to try and get a glimpse of the screen, not that it would’ve shown him anything anyway. Grace respected the effort, regardless.
“I know why the moon is rough coloured,” he hurriedly answered, so that Rocky could calm down. “You know iron, bud?”
“Yes, yes, yes! Need iron to survive.”
“Well, it looks like this moon’s oceans are practically…overwhelmed by iron. There is so much of it that it has changed the water’s colour. It looks like blood.”
Rocky’s carapace rippled with displeasure. “Like what Grace leaks when hurt, question?”
Grace nodded, watching as Rocky shook his carapace before poking him with his rocky arm. “Bad, bad, bad, bad,” the Eridian chanted. “Bad moon. Will not go.”
Hold up.
“Go? What do you mean?” Grace questioned, watching as Rocky made himself look small, like he always did when he felt like he was in trouble. Grace wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be in trouble for just yet.
“We want Grace to go study moon! Moon in system with dead sun. Assume moon rough coloured because of dead sun,” a blue Eridian scientist explained, stretching his two front legs to tilt his carapace up. “Give Grace fun thing to do! Use spaceship! Spaceship we fixed! Would waste spaceship if not used.”
What…the fuck?
Grace handed the screen back to the green Eridian. “Yeah, um…look, I gotta go now. Nothing to see on that moon. Thanks, bye,” he rushed out, giving the scientists a quick wave before he turned and did his best to leave the building at breakneck speed. It wasn’t fast enough to escape Rocky, who was scrambling after him.
“Rocky not mention because Earth! Rocky wanted Grace to study without fear! Knew Grace would feel forced if asked to study moon for mission! Is Grace mad, question? Question, question, question. Grace ignore Rocky, why, question?”
Grace was never capable of ignoring Rocky for too long. Especially when he got desperate for an answer like this. He hated to cause his friend so much distress, and Grace was never a fan of the silent treatment. It sucked. He was so, so mad, though. Holy fucking shit. He hadn’t felt anger like this in a long, long time.
He stopped, turning to Rocky, who was watching him with an unwavering, rocky stare. His carapace rippled as he waited for a response. Grace scrubbed at his eyes, willing himself to stay calm enough to form coherent sentences that Rocky would understand.
“Rocky…you know what happened with Earth. I’m over that. I know they made the best choice possible in order to guarantee the safety of billions. You could’ve told me, and it would have given me the opportunity to make the choice for myself, instead of you just deciding for me. Would I agree to go on another trip, however? No. I’m done with that. What you need to understand, however, bud, is that you were lying about why I was helping. That’s what they did to me,” he tried to explain, though it was hard to explain something as difficult as why he was sent on a suicide mission to a creature that never had to experience that, nor the factors that would’ve caused that situation. Grace was not only the only other qualified person for the mission, but he was one of the one in seven thousand people who had a coma-resistant gene that allowed him to survive the trip in the first place.
He never knew that until he was being forced onto the mission, however. He never knew that he was the backup. He studied the astrophage without a care in the world. It wasn’t like he thought the Eridians would do the same awful thing to him that Stratt did (not that he blamed her), but Rocky was still intending to withhold the information because he assumed that Grace would’ve never been comfortable with knowing.
“Rocky not understand.”
Grace bit the inside of his cheek, nodding. He started to feel the anger and frustration bubble closer to the surface. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m angry and hurt you didn’t tell me because that’s what happened to me on Earth. The whole reason why the incident on Earth upset me was because they didn’t tell me. You understand how that completely betrays my trust?” The words are harsh and lack any sugar-coating.
Rocky was quiet for a period that was entirely unlike him. His carapace rippled violently, almost like he was frustrated. Frustrated at what, however, was something that Grace did not know.
“Rocky, you didn’t tell me—”
“Because Grace would be scared!”
“Rocky, did you not listen to a single thing I said? I’ve made my peace! I don’t even need protection from—”
“No! No, no, no, no. Rocky wanted to help!”
“You didn’t help. You betrayed my trust—’
“No! Rocky is not like Earth—”
“Rocky!” Grace barked, flinching at the sheer volume of his voice. Even a couple of Eridians stopped at the intrusion. Luckily, they didn’t understand what was being discussed as they weren’t the ones who had spent most of the three years with Grace.
Rocky shrank back, making himself small to protect himself. Protect himself from Grace.
He dragged a hand down his face. “You’re not listening to me. I’m saying this one more time, alright? Whether or not you thought you were doing the right thing, you lied to me. You lied for your benefit, not mine. You gave me no choice. You did not plan on telling me it was for a mission. You took a choice away from me and refused to let me make one for myself. You lied just like Earth did. You. Lied.”
“Rocky not over Earth,” was the quiet reply from his friend. Grace didn’t understand, at first. “Rocky didn’t want to scare Grace. Make Grace feel forced. Rocky wanted Grace to just see moon. No pressure. Just fun science. No fear of mission. Rocky wanted to find bad thing about mission so Grace not go. Rocky should have asked first. Rocky understand now. Apology, apology, apology. Apology for lying to Grace.”
Grace sighed deeply, relieved that Rocky’s intentions held no malice. Grace just never wanted a repeat of what happened on Earth to ever happen again. It seemed like Rocky did, too. He just went about it awfully. He supposed that the guy still had a lot to learn when it came to human boundaries and common decency.
At least they were still on the same page: neither Rocky nor Grace wanted to go on that mission. Only, Rocky was trying to find a bad thing about the moon in order to justify not going without stressing Grace out about a mission.
“So, you understand that by trying to make me more comfortable, you created the same exact situation that led to me being sent on the mission to Tau Ceti? You could’ve just told me about the mission, and we could’ve discussed it properly?”
“Yes, yes, yes. Bad situation.” Rocky was standing taller, nodding. “Apology.”
Grace nodded. “Apology accepted. Now, let’s head home, alright? Come on. We can talk more there.”
Despite being in a familiar place, it was awkward when they both settled down in Grace’s home. Rocky was quiet, fiddling with a little figure that Grace had made him so that he would always carry him with him. He wasn’t one for emotional gestures, but after everything they went through together, Grace found that he was when it came to Rocky. They had saved each other’s lives.
Today was a weird day for them, which was a first. Grace wasn’t sure if they had ever disagreed on anything as big as this before, so he figured that it was quite fitting that their first one was regarding a mission through space to study another celestial object.
“Why did they want us to go on a mission? I know that they want us to study it because of the dead sun, but that doesn’t explain why they haven’t sent us to other planet systems with dead stars,” he eventually asked his rocky friend, who looked away from the figure to the real-life version.
“Bad moon,” Rocky stated. “Something bad about it. Not normal. Needed to be closer to study better. Chose Rocky, Adrian and Grace to go because great friends and very smart.”
Holy shit, what?
“Adrian?”
“Yes, yes! After last mission to Adrian, Adrian wanted to help. Hated being away from Rocky for a long time.”
Grace couldn’t have blamed Adrian for that. He could not have imagined being away from his hypothetical partner for over forty years. That just seemed…insane. Adrian was so brave to want to go on a mission through space just to stay close to their partner. Just as Rocky was brave to go on a mission to save his people and his partner from their dying sun. They were made for each other. Grace, on the other hand…total coward.
“Do you guys know what’s wrong with the moon then? You gotta give me more information here, bud,” Grace requested, to which Rocky tapped a leg on the floor a couple of times.
“Why Grace want to know? Grace not going. Doesn’t matter.” Ah. He was nervous.
“I don’t want to go, yes, but I want to know. I want to help from here. I can do that, can’t I? So, Rocky, what is wrong with the moon?”
“...Weird sounds. Eridian scientists think creature lives on moon. Just one creature, so it is weird. How does creature get its food?”
Huh, that was weird, indeed. However, without pictures under the surface of the water, there was no way of knowing if there were other forms of life that acted as the creature’s food. There were countless other questions that needed to be answered regarding this creature, though.
No way to answer them unless they went to the moon…
“Oh, well,” Grace said suddenly, clapping his hands and rising from his chair. That was a problem for the Eridian scientists, not him. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach, bud. I think we need a change of scenery.”
“Yay! Rocky love the beach!” the spider-like rock cheered, tumbling out of the house once Grace opened the door for them. Grace laughed as he watched his friend roll down the hill, landing in a sploot across the sand. Seconds later, the Eridian galloped into the water while Grace had just made it to the sand.
The human settled down on the sand, as close as possible to the water without getting wet, and watched his friend play for a little longer. However, when it came to an Eridian with separation anxiety, there wasn’t much time before he came tumbling right back into you. Grace yelped as his back hit the sand, though it quickly shifted into a laugh when Rocky climbed on top of him, resting on his chest. He wasn’t heavy enough to suffocate him, thank God.
“Rocky get Grace wet?” Rocky asked excitedly, to which Grace snickered. The Eridian loved the idea of play-fighting in the water after Grace told him about how many humans did it on Earth.
“Yes, Rocky, you certainly did. You happy now?”
“Yes, yes, very happy.”
Grace stared at the manufactured sky, watching as the clouds inched across the blue expanse. Adrian had done a lot of work to get everything as close as possible to what it was like to be on Earth. It would never be the same, however. He would never hear the sounds of children’s laughter, eat a disgustingly greasy burger, or even see a tree ever again. He wanted to cry just thinking about it, so he usually tried not to.
It still crossed his mind sometimes. When the homesickness snuck up on him in the middle of the night or during a moment that reminded him of an experience he had on Earth. Most of all, he craved human interaction. He missed it, no matter how bad his last interaction was with his people before he was all alone in space with two dead bodies. People who never even got to go on their own terms. They were just put to sleep and…never woke up.
“Grace leaking,” Rocky pointed out. “Grace okay?”
Grace sniffled, wiping his eyes quickly and nodding. “Yeah, bud. I’m okay. Just thinking about Earth.”
“Mmmm, not good. Not good thoughts.”
“No. Not really.”
“Did Rocky lying bring bad memories back?” He sounded guilty, which was something he definitely should not have been. Grace hadn’t forgotten it, how could he when it had happened so recently? But it wasn’t the reason why he was crying. He just did that a lot. He was a leaky space blob after all, according to his best friend.
“No, no. I was just looking at the sky,” he answered honestly, wiping his eyes once more.
“Grace not look at sky then!” Rocky stood up with his legs on either side of Grace, lifting his carapace high enough to shield Grace from the tormenting sight of the sky. The man chuckled softly, shaking his head fondly.
“It’s okay, Rocky. Sometimes you just need to have a good cry, yeah?”
“Not understand. Eridians can’t cry.”
Grace sighed. “I need to have a good cry then.”
Rocky nodded, understanding completely when he had witnessed most of Grace’s crying. “Hug, question?” he offered softly, to which Grace wrapped his arms around his friend as a reply. They stayed like that for a long while, just them and the sounds of the ocean, before it was interrupted by the rapid scrambling of another Eridian.
The only other Eridian that visited Grace.
“Rocky! Grace! Eridian scientists find something just now! Quick, quick!” Adrian exclaimed, stomping their feet violently on the sand to get their point across. Rocky hurried over while Grace took a little longer, thanks to his aging knees.
“What did they find?” he asked, which seemed to be the only thing he was saying today. Why was it so hard to get an answer out of Rocky and Adrian? He had no idea.
“Grace! Grace, they hear something coming from planet—”
“If it’s that creature or whatever, I’m not interested—”
“No! Sound is human! Sending sound to house! Go to house!”
Holy fucking shit.