Work Text:
Sometimes, Josh wondered if Tyler just said the things he said to see how he would react. Because who in their right mind would come up with something as ridiculous as this?
They had been brainstorming ideas of things to do while they were stuck together that day, and coming up empty with each one. Tyler joked around, Josh got pissed off. Josh came up with pretty decent ideas, Tyler shot them down for being “too boring”. They had finished their breakfast at barely 11 in the morning when Tyler set his plate down on the coffee table and stood up to present his idea to Josh.
“Okay. Hear me out.” He staged the idea like it was the most brilliant thing anyone had come up with, hands out in front of him and everything. But when he finally said it, Josh didn’t know what to say. “What if we go to a bunch of stores and see how many security camera selfies we can take before they kick us out?”
Josh blinked at him. It was all he could do. He didn’t even know if he should entertain the idea at all. Tyler looked truly impressed with himself, proud in a way a toddler feels when they show you their super cool new trick. The trick is always just that they know how to clap.
Eventually, Josh found the words to express how he felt, and he told them to Tyler plain and simple.
“That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
Tyler frowned instantly, knitting his brow and looking down at Josh like he was the crazy one.
“Seriously? The dumbest?” Tyler scoffed, sitting back down next to Josh, perhaps a little bit too close. Their legs could have touched if they moved so much as a centimeter closer, and Josh could feel something like static popping bubbles between them. But he made no effort to move in the opposite direction.
“I just mean going for a walk to see how many cool-shaped rocks we can find is ‘too boring’,” Josh said with air quotes, “But driving around and wasting gas to bother underpaid customer service workers to take selfies in their cameras is just fine?”
Tyler rolled his eyes, moving to cross his arms over his chest. His sleeve brushed against Josh’s arm as he did so, and Josh had momentarily forgotten how to breathe.
“We aren’t going to bother anyone. We’ll pick something up from each store,” Tyler reasoned, as if it would make Josh like the idea any more. It didn’t.
“So how do we even know which stores have that type of camera?” Josh cocked his head. “What if we walk into, like, Target or something, and they don’t have a camera with a screen?”
“Well, you’re really stupid, because that was a bad example.” Tyler pulled one arm away from his chest just to nudge at Josh’s shoulder, which Josh thought had to have been a tease. Tyler crossed his arms again. “Everyone knows Target has those cameras at self-checkout. That’s why it’s the first place we’d be going.”
“And the others?”
Tyler smiled that stupid closed smile he did, the one where he scrunched his nose and squinted his eyes, and unknowingly made Josh’s heart beat look like a child’s scribble, if it were recorded on an ECG. He was such a little shit, and he knew it.
“That’s the fun part. That’s what makes it an adventure.” Tyler batted his eyes at Josh and didn’t wait for an answer before rising to his feet, stepping over Josh’s legs to find the backpack he brought to their two-night-long sleepover. “It’s not like we’re coming up with any better ideas. So the way I see it, we’re doing this, or we’re doing nothing but sitting in your living room, wasting your electricity watching movies all day.”
Now that. That was a far worse idea, in Josh’s mind. That was what they did last night, before Tyler fell asleep on his couch with his fingers in Josh’s hair. It was torture.
Tyler watched the movie, and Josh watched Tyler.
His hands, his face, the colors on the screen flashing over his face, bathing him in every vibrant color like aurora borealis. He watched him mouth the words, trying not to sing out loud, and the longer Josh stared at his lips, the harder he had to bite on his own to stop them from tingling. He watched him dance with his hands, and had to tuck his own between his legs to keep him from reaching out and weaving his fingers with Tyler’s, and never letting him go.
He needed to get over himself. Tyler was his friend. …Sort of. He didn’t really know what they were. And whatever it was, it was already more than Josh had bargained for.
So, fine. If Tyler wanted to waste hours driving around Columbus just to take selfies with Josh? Josh would do it. There were far worse things Tyler had put him through.
When Tyler emerged from the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth, he looked Josh up and down. “You’re all ready to go, already?”
“I got ready while I was waiting for you to wake up.” Josh looked Tyler up and down, too. He was wearing the same exact hoodie and jeans that he’d arrived in yesterday, and slept in. Josh wondered if he just threw them on right before he left, so they weren’t really too dirty. “Is that what you’re wearing? Don’t you want a shower?”
Tyler turned to look at himself in the bathroom mirror, running his hand back and forth through his perpetual mess of hair.
“D’you think I need one?” He asked with an eyebrow raised, “Do I look gross? Do I stink? I showered before I left?”
Josh shook his head. Tyler never looked gross. And he never stunk. Somehow. Josh must have just caught him on his cleanest days, because there was no way he always smelled as good as he did. A suffocatingly sweet blend of honey and vanilla, with pine somewhere in the mix. It seemed like an odd combination. But it worked for Tyler. And it definitely worked for Josh.
“No, you’re great. You look good. You smell great. You, uh…” Josh stumbled over his words before finally realizing that he really just needed to shut the fuck up.
Tyler scrunched his nose and retreated back into the bathroom to finish up, and Josh went to his room to grab a flannel to throw on. He figured he should probably take Jim out one more time, since he didn’t know how long they would be gone for. He did decide to forgo the harness, this time. It just seemed like too much effort for a simple pee break.
By the time he made it back upstairs with Jim, Tyler was sitting on the floor pulling his boots on. Jim was instantly heartbroken, jumping into Tyler’s lap and pressing his head against his chest, whining like he was going through something truly traumatic. Tyler hugged him tight, scratching behind his ears and kissing the top of his head while he cooed reassurances that Jim simply couldn’t understand.
“It’s okay, Dudeathan, we’ll be back!” he said in his puppy voice, “We’ll be back before you know it, and I’m gonna buy you something really special, even if Little Dun doesn’t want me to.”
Josh rolled his eyes, “Okay, ‘Little Dun’, we’re back on this.”
Tyler didn’t reply, but as he stood up, he did that stupid little wrinkling of his nose that he always did, that always sent Josh spiraling. Whether in a good way or a bad way, Josh couldn’t be sure. But he chose to believe everything Tyler did to him was bad.
Josh wouldn’t have been surprised if he learned that Tyler was put on this Earth just to torture him.
Tyler stepped out of Josh’s apartment first, pulling his car keys out of his pocket and dangling them in a way that could only have been threatening.
“I’m driving,” he stated, immediately starting to walk away like there was no conversation to be had.
Josh locked his apartment and ran to catch up with Tyler. “Hell. No. The last time I got in a car with you, you tried to kill me.”
“Yeah, but I liked you significantly less back then,” Tyler said nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t the least nonchalant thing he could have said.
Josh felt ill, like he had been punched in the gut and everything inside of him was shooting out. Tyler was such a fucking asshole. He was the type of person who chose his words carefully. Josh had understood that by now. So how come every single thing that came out of his mouth served only to wreck Josh until he was a mess of nothing but blood, bones, and glittering golden emotions in a puddle on the ground?
“I would never do something to hurt you.” Tyler stopped at the door stairwell to turn and face Josh, pushing the door open with his back. “I’ll protect you always. I’ll keep you safe. I can fight. Plus, I gotta get you put on to my music.”
Josh didn’t respond. He couldn’t. His heart was in his throat, and he couldn’t get any words to fit around it. He walked straight past Tyler and down the stairs as fast as he could, just so that Tyler didn’t see the bright red blush that bloomed across his cheeks.
Josh could have spotted Tyler’s car outside even if he didn’t know what it looked like from the impressively assholic parking crime that Tyler committed. Tyler followed close behind him, unlocking the car so that Josh could slip into the passenger seat. He was met with that same aroma from before, honey and vanilla, and it was intoxicating. He tried to believe it was just because he liked both smells, and not because his brain had decided to categorize them under things that described Tyler.
When Tyler got in the car, he hooked his phone up to the Bluetooth adapter that let him play music, and Josh was immediately met with a very loud synth in his ears. Tyler turned the volume down.
“We’re gonna get through as many Taylor Swift albums as we can,” Tyler explained, much to Josh’s dismay, “Starting with Tortured Poets because it’s my favorite. Don’t read into that.”
Josh was absolutely going to be reading into it.
As they drove, Tyler sang along with every single word. It wasn’t like he was trying too hard to sound good, but Josh didn’t care. He was completely enamored. Had it been anybody else in the world, Josh wouldn’t have enjoyed it. He would have felt as though he were the tortured one in that situation. But he didn’t feel that with Tyler.
He chalked it up to the fact that he was fearing for his life every time Tyler turned a corner, and not a peculiar fascination with all of Tyler’s interests.
Josh stayed quiet during the drive. He didn’t know any of the lyrics, and if Tyler had something to say about it, he could just tell him he was trying to understand the music. But really, he just wanted to listen to Tyler’s voice on repeat like it was his favorite band. And as he listened, he started to understand why Tyler might not have wanted him to read into this being his favorite album.
Tyler still drove like he had no regard for his own life. But Josh felt safer anyway.
“If this is your favorite album,” Josh said at the end of the second song, reaching out for Tyler’s phone to pause the music, “Which song is your favorite?”
“Um,” Tyler thought for a moment, his eyes darting around the road. Josh noticed the subtle changes in his face, how he sucked his bottom lip in to chew on it, how his nose twitched like a bunny's, and his eyes lingered a moment too long in his lap. “I don’t want to tell you.”
“Why not?”
Josh understood that it was invasive. But he wanted to know. And he wanted Tyler to trust him. Tyler looked over to him just for a beat, maybe two, and the slight lick over his lips did not go unnoticed by Josh.
“It’s a four-way tie,” Tyler said finally, folding under zero pressure, and holding up four fingers. “And this album is long. So you won’t even hear all of them for a while.”
“That’s okay,” Josh shrugged, “I’m just curious.”
Tyler sniffled and looked down into his lap for only a second. Josh could tell there was a smile forcing its way onto his lips, and he was trying his hardest not to let it crack.
“Okay. So, they’re, But Daddy I Love Him,” Tyler said, counting off each song with his fingers, “The Prophecy, Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?, and The Black Dog. But, again, don’t read into it. Seriously.”
Josh nodded. He probably wouldn’t remember which songs those were by the time they came on, anyway. But he was grateful that Tyler told him anyway.
They arrived at Target around the middle of the fourth song, and Tyler made them stay in the car to finish it out. Not that Josh was complaining. Listening to Tyler scream about a one-sided love with an alien was probably the highlight of Josh’s week. At least that was what he thought the song was about. He was paying too much attention to the interpretive dances Tyler was doing that involved way too much touching of his own chest and thighs.
Target was a good first place to go, because all they had to do was head into self-checkout, grab a Redbull and a pack of gum, and snap a photo while they were checking out. As Tyler scanned the items in, Josh held his phone up to the monitor and waited for Tyler to look up. Josh’s face was mostly hidden behind his phone, and when Tyler looked into the screen with a big, open smile, and wide eyes, Josh made the same face. They were in and out in a matter of minutes. One store down.
Josh knew there were cameras to take pictures in at Walmart, so they added that to their list of definite visits. It was the only store on their list. For the most part, they drove around, stopping at random places that seemed promising.
The next two shops were a miss. They didn’t leave empty-handed, though, with Tyler buying a Redbull at both locations, and Josh grabbing the first cheap toy he saw at the second one, which didn’t sell snacks.
At the fourth store, a pharmacy, they didn’t even need to go inside. There was a camera with a monitor right by the door, and Tyler held his phone up as high as he could to snap the photo. Josh was trailing behind him, so he barely registered that a photo was being taken before Tyler shouted at him to pose, and he jumped up in the air and threw his arms out, mouth wide open. Tyler laughed when he looked at the picture, and when Josh caught up to him, he was horrified by how he looked.
“Tyler. That’s disgusting. Delete it.”
Tyler screwed his face at Josh, starting to walk away to go inside the pharmacy to find another security camera. “No way, dude. You look cute as hell.”
Josh had opened his mouth to argue, but immediately closed it, freezing where he stood. That was not the word Tyler just used. Surely, Josh had misheard, and Tyler was calling him stupid as hell. Not cute.
This guy was going to fucking kill him.
He followed Tyler inside, but moments too late. He had completely lost him in the aisles, which were too tall for Josh to try to look over to find him. He could stay put where he was, and maybe Tyler would get bored and come looking for him. That was what you told children to do when they lost their adult, right?
Except that, between Tyler and Josh, Tyler was not the adult. Josh was the one who needed to do the finding.
And find, he did. Not that it was hard, he just looked for the sign telling him where to find energy drinks, and Tyler was right there. He was crouched down by the Redbull, looking over all the flavors. He looked up when he noticed Josh walk down the aisle and smiled at him.
“Do you think I should try a new flavor?” he asked, “I’ve had all of them, I just like the original more. But maybe I can shake it up a little. Or get one of each.”
Josh blinked at him, crossing his arms. “Dude. Your heart is going to explode.”
“And wouldn’t that be the day,” Tyler sighed, placing a hand over his chest, “Do you know how many problems would just cease to exist? Most of them, yours.”
“So you’re saying I should encourage your casual stepping stones towards heart failure because it will benefit me in the long run?”
“Basically.” Tyler picked up a can of the original flavor of Redbull and stood up, grinning at Josh as he walked past him. “Let’s go.”
Tyler was smiling like what he just said was funny. And maybe it was. But it filled Josh with the overwhelming feeling of dread. That wasn’t something he wanted to think about. He was just getting somewhere with Tyler. He wasn’t ready to lose him.
He laughed anyway. Tyler was joking.
Tyler stopped, suddenly, as they were walking to the checkout, by holding his arm out in front of Josh. Josh walked into it, of course, stumbling forward only for a moment before Tyler gripped onto his shirt, his hand touching Josh’s chest, oh my fucking god, and he pulled him into another aisle.
“‘Nother camera,” Tyler said simply, letting go of Josh’s shirt to pull out his phone, and tucking the Redbull into his hoodie pocket to keep it out of frame. Josh stood close behind him, crossing his arms over his chest only so that Tyler couldn’t feel how quickly his heart was beating from behind him. Because Josh knew his ass would say something.
Tyler took the picture quickly, looking into his phone screen, stoic, and then pulled the Redbull out of his pocket to make sure the camera could see him not stealing it. When they got to the checkout counter, the cashier definitely gave them a look. Josh kept his mouth shut, though, and Tyler was polite as always, going through the transaction with a smile.
It was almost 2:00 when they got back to Tyler’s car, and Walmart was close enough to make it their next stop.
“Maybe you should actually pick up some groceries while we’re here,” Tyler suggested, turning the music down a couple of notches, “Just enough to fill a basket. Your kitchen is so sad.”
“I don’t need groceries, I buy things as I need them.” Josh knew that wasn’t the best way to go about his life. But he got enough shit about it from his mom and his sister, and he didn’t need Tyler giving him grief too.
Tyler shook his head in disbelief. “You sound crazy. You’re the reason people think men are lazy, useless, sacks of shit.”
Josh flinched. “People think men are lazy, useless, sacks of shit because they usually are.”
Tyler lifted two fingers off the steering wheel in a sort of shrug, “Okay, fair. Fine. But you’re not helping our case.”
The Walmart parking lot was mostly empty when they arrived, which didn’t seem too out of the ordinary for a Tuesday afternoon, but that didn’t make them any less grateful. Tyler, for the fact that he could park anywhere he wanted, and in as many spots as possible. Josh, so that fewer people would have to see him get in and out of a car that effectively took up three parking spots.
Tyler tried to convince Josh to grab a cart, but Josh settled on a simple basket. Not at all because he actually wanted to go shopping, just to shut Tyler up. Josh started to think Tyler couldn’t be silenced if you yanked out his voice box and stitched his mouth shut.
Josh didn’t know exactly which aisles had the security camera monitors, so they would have to weave around until they spotted one. Tyler took that opportunity to take the shopping basket into his own hands, leading the way as he dropped groceries into it every so often.
“Look! Caesar salad so good! Caesar salad so yum!” Tyler said as he picked up a bag of pre-portioned salad and shook it in front of Josh. “So good with chickennnnn and garlic breaaaad or on its ownnnn.”
“Okay, I get it.” Josh crossed his arms, scoffing. He could deny the help all he wanted. But he couldn’t deny that he appreciated it. It was… different to have someone other than his mother care about what he was eating. There were worse things Tyler could have picked out than Caesar salad. “You can fill the basket. Whatever. But you’re gonna CashApp me for half the total, since you’re doing this against my will.”
“Completely reasonable and fair.” Tyler grabbed two more bags of salad and tossed them in the basket. He stopped at the fruit section, hovering over by the stack of peaches before turning to Josh. “I’m gonna make you something really nice with these one day.”
Josh stood beside him, looking over the stack to pull out three of the nicest ones and drop them into the basket. “Really? So your skill in the kitchen goes beyond pancakes?”
“You have no idea,” Tyler smiled. He walked past Josh then, leading them out of the produce section completely to walk down the aisles. “And you thought that Shirley Temple was good? I can probably convince my boss to get us some peach syrup to mix into it for you. It’ll blow your fucking mind.”
Josh had to admit that that sounded amazing. And he was slowly learning that anything Tyler had to recommend was going to be worth it. He had yet to lead Josh astray.
Josh needed to lock in before he let Tyler lead him to despair.
He followed Tyler down each aisle, letting him take the reins completely. This was way more Tyler’s turf than it was Josh’s. Josh didn’t think he had gone on a full grocery run since before he moved out of his parents' house.
Tyler didn’t need to know that.
But once they got to the cereal aisle, that was where Josh could let his freak flag fly. Josh knew cereal. It was by far his favorite of all the food groups. Tyler seemed to understand, passing the basket over to Josh as he stood back to watch the master at work.
There were so many types of cereals. Josh was running low on all of them. Some days, he woke up in the mood for something chocolatey. His favorite thing to reach for those mornings was a box of Reece’s Puffs. The chocolatey peanut butter milk that was left behind once the cereal was gone was one of the greatest things the world had to offer, as far as Josh was concerned, so they went in the basket. Other days, he felt fruity. He’d been on a pretty long Fruity Pebbles kick as of recently, but something about the Froot Loops was calling to him today. They went in the basket.
Sugary cereals were special in that they could be so many different things. He didn’t have to pick just one. Frosted Flakes were good, but what if he woke up with a hankering for Lucky Charms instead? He grabbed a box of Lucky Charms and gave himself the option of one more sugary cereal. He didn’t know why, but something was drawing him to the Honey-Combs. So they went in the basket.
Well, he knew exactly why. As he glanced behind him, at Tyler’s crossed arms and the starstruck look in his eyes, it was almost solidified.
But, no. Honey-Combs were just a cereal. Nothing more.
The last type of cereal he needed was something plain. It wasn’t his favorite, but there were some mornings when something sweet and fun was just too heavy. So something like Kix or Cheerios were good to have in the pantry. He supposed it had been a while since he’d had Corn Flakes. And he didn’t buy Frosted Flakes, either. So it seemed only fair. Corn Flakes went in the basket.
“Excellent work, Joshua,” Tyler said as he began digging through the basket, which was already full by that point. Cereal boxes were big. Tyler pulled out the box of Honey-Combs, because of course he did, and showed them to Josh. “Wanna take a picture with your cereal? Since it’s so special to you? There’s a camera right outside this aisle.”
Josh nodded, following Tyler out of the aisle and dropping their basket on the floor by their feet as they looked up into the security camera with the monitor. Tyler handed the cereal back to Josh, who held it up between them like a prize. As Tyler clicked the shutter on his phone camera, they both smiled wider than they may have ever smiled in their lives.
And it wasn’t just because of how much Josh loved cereal.
There wasn’t much room left in the basket, so Tyler and Josh made a beeline to the candy aisle. They definitely did not need any more candy after the feast Tyler had bought for their movie nights, but it was always fun to look at. Tyler wasn’t interested in the candy anyway, instead heading to the far end of the aisle where all the gum was displayed. He picked up a packet he’d never seen before and shook it in front of Josh like keys in front of a baby.
“Josh, look,” he beamed, shaking the gum harder. Josh could not read the label while he was shaking it, and surely he understood that. He probably just didn’t care. “Apple pie flavored gum. How cool is that?”
Tyler’s adoration for silly things like gum flavors would always enamor Josh. It really was the little things. And he was seeing another side of Tyler he had never seen before, much like he had every single time he was with Tyler. He liked collecting all of his pieces. It gave him something to do when the only other thing he could focus on was how badly Tyler made his heart palpitate.
Josh’s gaze locked on a bag of peach rings, and he picked it up and shook it in front of Tyler’s face in the hopes that he would see just how annoying it was to have bags shaken in your face.
“D’you think they’ve ever made a peach ring flavored gum?” Josh asked, caring less about the answer and more about whether or not Tyler actually knew it.
“Hmm.” Tyler hummed as he took the bag from Josh’s hand, “I don’t know about peach rings specifically. But I have a really nice regular peach flavor at home that tastes just like a peach ring. So, close enough?”
He handed the bag back to Josh, and Josh dropped it in the basket. It was always good to have peach rings somewhere in the house.
When they got to the checkout, Tyler was ecstatic to find even more Redbull in the refrigerators at the registers. He grabbed two cans. Josh could only roll his eyes.
“Oh, fuck,” Tyler mumbled, and he started running, leaving Josh alone in the checkout line.
Josh felt like a little kid, suddenly, abandoned by his mother when she had to run back to grab bread. But Tyler was back before panic could set his chest on fire, tossing a bag of dried pork dog treats and a rope pulley toy on the conveyor belt. It was obvious he was trying his hardest to breathe normally after sprinting, but he was doing a really bad job.
“I forgot I promised Jim I’d get him something nice,” he said, keeping his head down as he leaned on his hands on the checkout counter. “Holy, fuck.”
“I told you those energy drinks were going to catch up to you sooner or later.” Josh rolled his eyes, and Tyler turned his head to glare at him.
“Fuck off, ugly.”
The next few hours were gone before Josh knew it. Honestly, he hadn’t even realized that hours had even passed. It felt like he’d been hanging out with Tyler for 20 minutes, though the day was slowly coming to a close. He could count the locations they visited in packs of gum and cans of Rebull, as well as the occasional bag of candy or chips Josh picked out. But that was all he really noticed. Everything had been a blur. A beautiful blur, stroked with colors the likes of which he’d never seen before. Not until Tyler taught him to open his eyes.
He never wanted it to end. This was the most fun he’d ever had, and he didn’t want to waste a second of it. He’d wasted enough time daydreaming through the drives, walking through the aisles of grocery stores and gas stations like walking on air. But it was almost 6:40, Tyler was getting tired, and he had a dog to get home to.
They’d hit six stores successfully by that point, and there was only one left on their list before Tyler would take them home. Josh had completely forgotten there was a bank that shared a plaza with his store. His staff would go in there on their breaks and take selfies in the lobby all the time, and print them out to hang in the office. Sylvia thought it was juvenile and unprofessional to have so many selfies in the office. Josh loved it. His staff cared, and it was nice to keep photos of them on display to remind him on really bad days why he stayed.
So Tyler drove Josh to work. Kind of. He parked outside of The Book Nook, but Josh was quick to jump out of the car and walk as fast as he could to the bank, not wanting anyone from his work to see him through the window. Tyler did not share that sentiment, waving at the faces who may or may not have been able to see him as he walked past the store. He only started to run once he’d passed the windows to catch up with Josh.
“I don’t want any of them to see me. Let’s get the picture and run.” Josh said when he heard Tyler’s footsteps slow down behind him.
“Okie doke.”
Tyler swung his arm around Josh’s waist, gliding right past him, and only letting go once he was ahead. He’d effectively stopped Josh dead in his tracks, as well as his heart. He felt sick, then, nausea clawing its way up his throat and threatening to spew on the sidewalk. And if it really did come out, Josh reckoned he should aim for Tyler.
He had to be doing these things on purpose. He had to know the effect he had on Josh, he wouldn’t do it otherwise. He liked to tease him, loved to see him suffer any way he could. Josh didn’t know why he thought that would change.
Though if he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn’t mad that Tyler had done that. He was more disappointed that he let go.
Tyler turned around, suddenly noticing that Josh was no longer following him.
“Touched a nerve?” He teased.
Something like that.
Josh composed himself. Not because he wanted to, or really felt like it was easy, but because he had to.
He couldn’t think like this. He needed to keep a level head. Otherwise, he’d be pulled under. And he didn’t know if he could drag himself out.
He followed Tyler to the bank, letting Tyler hold the door for him to walk inside. This would be quick. Just a quick picture in the lobby, and then they could run back to Tyler’s shitty car and go home.
Nobody batted an eye when they stepped into the bank lobby, probably used to all the selfie-taking from employees around the plaza by that point. Tyler pulled out his phone and got up close to the monitor, looking up at it over his phone camera at Josh. He was standing behind him, though close to the door. Tyler turned around, brows knit, and lip curled.
“Josh, get over here. You’re barely in the picture.”
Josh wasn’t sure his heart was going to last long enough for him to walk out of this building. He couldn’t tell if it was racing, or had stopped completely, as Tyler reached over and wrapped his hand around Josh’s wrist, yanking him closer so quickly that he nearly crashed into him. And as Tyler turned his head back toward the camera, he let his hand hover close enough at the small of Josh’s back that he could feel him even without them really touching. His hand brushed against the fabric of Josh’s flannel, and all Josh wished was that he would just pull the fucking trigger and hold him.
But he wouldn’t do that. And Josh couldn’t even ask for it. He held his breath and hoped Tyler didn’t notice. Tyler snapped the picture, and Josh ran.
He walked as quickly as he could to Tyler’s car, nearly making it halfway there when he heard Tyler call after him from the bank entrance. Tyler ran after him, catching up and running right past Josh. Only this time, he didn’t swing around him as though he were a pole. And Josh couldn’t stop the feeling from sinking in his gut that he wished Tyler had done that.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tyler asked, walking backwards in front of Josh to keep an eye on him. As if he didn’t already know. As if he had no idea he was basically torturing Josh by merely breathing in his direction, because all Josh wanted to do was suck the breath into his own lungs, and get high off of everything that was Tyler.
Maybe he didn’t know. Maybe.
But Josh couldn’t afford to believe this was all in his head. He’d given too much.
“I’m just tired,” Josh said, and it wasn’t totally a lie. It just wasn’t the full truth. “I’m ready to go home.”
“Me too, dawg. That was a lot of driving. And walking.” Tyler nodded, and he finally turned around and walked straight to his car, pulling on the handle and waiting for Josh to take his seat on the other side.
Josh entered the car wordlessly. He didn’t know what would come out if he opened his mouth, and he wasn’t willing to take a chance on humiliation when Tyler still had to drive him back to his apartment. But Tyler never made him speak. He just put on his music and drove in quiet, humming along to Taylor Swift. And it was comfortable. And by the time they were pulling into Josh’s parking lot, he’d completely forgotten that he was ever stressed.
All he knew was that this day with Tyler was the most fun he’d ever had. And he prayed to whoever might have been listening that there’d come a day when he could spend the rest of his life feeling the way Tyler made him feel.
Fuck.
Josh was so fucked.