Chapter Text
The day Midoriya Izuku was diagnosed quirkless was also the day when Bakugo Katsuki's life changed.
Weren't they supposed to be heroes together?
What changed?
Why was their dream unreachable anymore?
Teachers told him to be careful about talking about "dangerous" future like this with Izuku. Whatever that meant. Katsuki didn't understand. Why was everything suddenly different?
When he asked, only looks of concern were thrown his way. Change of subject was pretty common afterwards. So he stopped asking.
"Izuku, let's play!" A kid, Katsuki hadn't actually bothered to remember the name of, yelled across the playground. Katsuki frowned. They were playing together right now, why should Izuku go over there?
The kid ran towards them. Katsuki looked Izuku's way and Izuku just cutely smiled at the intruder like it hadn't bothered him one bit.
What does it mean?
"Kacchan! I am going that way for a bit." Sun kissed boy said and ran off, leaving Katsuki to build their castle alone. Katsuki got up and ruined it all, right there and then.
They were supposed to do it together.
It was the very first day out of many he made Izuku cry. Although without Izuku knowing why. Nobody asked why he did it anyway. And Bakugo Katsuki doesn’t beg to explain.
When they were five, Izuku started to avoid talking in bigger groups of people. Or maybe bigger groups of people started to avoid him? Anyway it was more weird to see Izuku with many people around him than not. Which was weird, he loved people. He was a social butterfly as Katsuki's mom would always say.
So what changed?
It wasn't only Izuku who loved people, people loved him. They adored the boy, so why? Why were people avoiding him like a plague?
Not that Katsuki was bothered. At least he had Izuku all to himself.
When they were six years old Katsuki misread Izuku's kanji for "Deku" he had been so embarrassed about it at the time that he lied and said he came up with a nickname for him. Izuku had been happy about it, "Kacchan's sugoi!" he had said. Katsuki had been happy about it too at the time.
Kids started calling Izuku "Deku" too after it. All of them.
When he got scolding from his mother about the horrible nickname he came up with, he may have started crying and actually admit how it had happened. The nickname stayed anyway. And Katsuki was the creator. Izuku never got to know why Katsuki started calling him "useless".
After that, big groups of people were not the only ones Izuku tried to avoid. No, he was avoiding Katsuki too.
When they were older, around eleven or twelve, Katsuki had hit Izuku for the first time. It was an accident. Honest! He was protecting kids that hadn't deserved it. They were saying bad things about Izuku so Katsuki got angry, naturally. Izuku never got, so Katsuki took it upon himself to be angry for them both. Izuku saw Katsuki's palms sparkling and he ran forward, in the end Katsuki had hit Izuku's cheek.
Izuku never got to know why was Katsuki in a fight, everybody knew that Katsuki had hit Izuku though.
That people were mean to Izuku was Katsuki's discovery rather late. When they went to a school trip a teacher advised for Izuku to stay at home. He is fragile so something could happen, they said. It was bullshit. Why was Izuku fragile? Was he sick? If so, how's possible Katsuki hadn't known about it?
Izuku didn't stay at home. They went and quirkless kids were not allowed to go on rides. They were not allowed to play games in the arcade either. Oh and they were definitely not allowed to watch a movie. Izuku stayed the whole time in front of the door, standing, waiting for them. He watched all the kids to go onto rides and have fun. He sat in a corner the whole time while everybody played in the arcade. The whole time he had a small smile on his face that was slowly fading away that nobody noticed.
Well not nobody.
Katsuki noticed.
He just didn't know what to do with it, so he stayed and watched from the sidelines as Izuku watched. While Izuku's eyes stayed on all the fun things he missed Katsuki's eyes stayed glued to the green haired boy the whole time.
When they got a bit older Katsuki realized that Izuku can't become a hero with him. He was way too weak. Not because of his quirkless status. He was way too emotional. He wanted to save everybody. But not everybody should be saved. Some people gotta be punished before they could be saved. Izuku saw all the good in people and never the bad. It was not a good trait to have.
Katsuki decided to show him that people can be bad too. He tried to hide Izuku's socks after a gym class. He put them on top of a shelve, Izuku was short so it shouldn't be too easy to find them. Izuku searched for them the whole afternoon. Katsuki thought Izuku was smarter. It made him laugh.
Katsuki also made fun of his notes. Izuku never said a word back, it pissed him off.
Speak up, dammit!
When they were passing in hallways Katsuki made a habit of touching Izuku's hair. It hadn't happened often but when it did Katsuki always run a hand down Izuku's surprisingly soft curls. One day his hand tangled in Izuku's green locks and he accidentally pushed Izuku's head backwards and Izuku fell. Katsuki laughed.
It was funny.
That was the day Katsuki made Izuku "kneel" in the hallway of their school and laughed in his face about it. Izuku never knew Katsuki just liked the nerd's hair. But everybody knew that Katsuki hated Izuku.
Izuku didn't know a lot of things. He didn’t know that Katsuki just wanted to become heroes together. He didn’t know that Katsuki liked his name so much that he wanted to be the first one to read it and misspoke horribly at the time. He didn’t know that he actually liked Izuku's notes and that's why he could make fun of the nerd. He actually always listened what he talked about. That's why he knew what was written in it, so it was easier to make fun of.
He didn’t know Katsuki liked his soft hair. He didn’t know that Katsuki paid attention to every detail Izuku did. He didn’t know anything. And Katsuki, Katsuki didn't know one thing. Why didn't Izuku ever come back that day on the playground. Since that day a lot had happened but Izuku never came back. Izuku never hung out with him anymore. He never smiled at him anymore. Izuku never came over. If it weren't their mothers organizing stuff, Izuku never initiated anything anymore. Izuku wasn't close anymore. Katsuki couldn't reach him suddenly. Or was it like this all the time? Was Izuku unreachable?
All that led to them separating in middle school and never speaking again. Katsuki moved out and Izuku stayed. Katsuki with brief memories of a nerd he missed even though he was right next to him and Izuku with painful memories of his childhood friend that turned mean one day and then disappeared without a word.
Who would have guessed Katsuki moved away because his dad became sick and the hospital for his treatment was far away in a big town, away from home. So during summer holiday Katsuki disappeared and never came back. Izuku stayed, Izuku suffered. Izuku wondered, Izuku cried. Izuku never got to know why he lost his friend.
And Katsuki studied. Worked hard. Katsuki moved, Katsuki went to Shiketsu high. Katsuki chose his dad over his dream. Katsuki was never a bad child after all, he went and began his school year at Shiketsu high school, proud, with his dad free of worries and healed. He begun a new chapter of his life without his best friend by his side. For the first time in his life Katsuki realized that future with a certain green haired kid was never possible.
So he took a deep breath and crossed the lines of high school all alone.
Izuku was alone. He thought the whole time he was just alone. He wasn't allowed to have fun. He wasn't allowed to smile, to talk, to laugh. He wasn't allowed to raise a hand in class nor do group projects with other people. He wasn't allowed to play with other kids in the gym class. He wasn't allowed to score better than others at the sports festivals. He wasn't allowed to be seen in public festivals in his neighborhood. He was not allowed. People avoided him like a virus. Even his mother stayed away most of the time, the time she was close she spent crying and apologizing.
Well at least that's how he felt after Katsuki moved. Even though he didn't like how Katsuki acted most of the time. He disliked this even more. Katsuki was never afraid to touch him, he was never afraid to talk to Izuku. He was close all the time and not having him there hurt more than Izuku allowed to admit. He shouldn't be missing him. He knows he shouldn’t.
But he is.