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"Alright, camera's set up, microphones are working- hey, can we fix the lighting there?"
"You got it, boss!"
"OK, that's great, thank you!"
"We're beginning filming in three, two, one, go!"
"So, how did you two meet?"
"Oh my stars, it's the funniest, craziest story ever!"
"She says that every time someone asks!"
"And it will never stop being true!"
"OK, OK. I know you're excited to say it yet again."
"OK, so, there I was, investigating a spaceship after receiving a distress call. I shouldn't have gone alone, but with everyone else in stasis pods, I wasn't about to let something bad happen on my watch.
I see nothing but dimly lit corridors, blood smears and smashed screens, so I think "Oh dear, this isn't going to end well-"
"And yet-"
"Hey, don't spoil the ending!"
"Fine, but my part's coming up!"
"We're getting there!
As I was saying, I was having serious misgivings, and then I hear a skittering on the roof."
"Oh oh, this is where I come in!
So, after finding my way to this ship, I slaughtered the minuscule crew on board, and started eating their limbs. A girl gets hungry, you know?"
"I thought you were more of a breast girl as opposed to legs-"
"Ah ah ah, I had the floor!"
"OK, sorry babe!"
"Thanks sweetness! Anyway, I was working on my fifth leg, when I heard something from the other room. I jumped up to the roof, digging my claws in and traversing to the other room, out of sight.
And then I saw HER.
I was intrigued right away.
I'd seen plenty of human men, but a lady? Hair in a bun, sexy glasses to boot? Oh, my two hearts went a-flutter!"
"Sweet talker!"
"Says you!"
"Anyway, I looked up to the roof and I screamed like the dickens! But in fairness, when you're a petite woman facing a large blue alien with razor teeth, three eyes and giant claws, screaming is a natural reaction!"
"And then I pounced down and knocked your helmet off!"
"I thought you were going to take my head clean off when you did that!"
"I'm glad I didn't, given-"
"Oh you!"
"Anyway, moving fast, I pinned her to the wall, watching her struggle."
"I was so scared!"
"And then I extended my ovipositor into her mouth, letting it dig deep down."
"I thought I was going to choke, it was so big!"
"Isn't that, as the humans go, what she said?"
"You will never get tired of that joke, will you?"
"Your humor is one of your species' biggest contributions!"
"Now, having this in my body, I honestly thought my organs were going to get sucked out and I'd be a bag of skin and bones. But then she pumped her secretions into me and..."
"Is everything OK?"
"Am I allowed to be graphic on this? And is swearing OK?"
"Absolutely, no bounds."
"Well, it was the best fucking of my life, and I wasn't even aware until she had finished."
"Yes, after I was done, I remember you crawled over to me and said "More." "
"I was hooked, and that was even without the fluids used to induce happiness."
"That's what I loved most, you gave yourself over with your own consent. It's like you wanted to be a Xangarr's fuckpet. Is that the right terminology, fuckpet?"
"Yes darling, that works."
"So then Callie strips and shows me where else she wanted my ovipositor, and I was only to happy to oblige."
"Better than any dick I've ever had!"
"Which is why you went to suck it like it was a hose, right?"
"Oh my god, I taste it all the time now, I crave your fluids!"
"Especially in your... ugh, I know, my human is bad it's... vagina, right?"
"Yes dear, but when we're talking dirty, you can say pussy. And I wanted it right up in my pussy, it damn near broke me the first time, and yet I came back for more."
"You definitely are stronger than the average human!"
"I'm just hungry for you and your organs, you know your way around a girl!"
"I love you, Callie."
"I love you too, Tro'clav."
"It's lovely to see a new couple already deeply committed to each other."
"Oh yes, as you can see, I am DEFINITELY in this for the long haul!"
"My darling spouse just gets more radiant with each passing day."
"I never thought I'd be a mommy, but I'm glad I get to bring more of your species into the universe."
"OUR species, my love. Remember, the closer you get to the birth, the more your body's DNA will rewrite itself until you're a Xangarr."
"Oh right! I can't wait for that, to shed this human vessel and become a superior species!"
"So how do you think your friends, family and co-workers will feel about this news?"
"It's not their decision. My mate is an alien, and I couldn't be happier. Besides, that's the point of this video, right? Since you're going to play this to my crew in stasis and get them used to their new lives as breeding slaves?"
"You're not upset that your species is going to be converted by force into gestating more of our species?"
"Once upon a time, maybe. But Tro'clav made me feel things no one, human or otherwise, had ever made me feel.
And if I have to "betray" my species to keep her as my mate, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat."
"Or two!"
"Always with the jokes, you goof!"
"Callie does speak the truth, though. I assumed she would just be good breeding stock, but her passion and acceptance of me... I felt seen. I knew she wouldn't be a mere breeding slave, she was partner material."
"The elders were mixed on that decision, were they not?"
"They were, but Callie's speech about how there were many other humans who would willingly volunteer if given the chance was a big crowd-pleaser."
"And this video is for them, too! Follow your dreams of becoming an alien's incubator, and you'll get a wife out of it!"
"I don't imagine this will go over with the menfolk of your planet, Callie. Especially since the men are unable to give birth, if our information is correct."
"Gender is complex on our planet, but Tro'clav assures me that the leading scientists of your planet are working on ways to convert everyone into a feminine concubine capable of bearing Xangarr offspring."
"Marvelous! OK, that about wraps things up.
Callie, Tro'clav, thank you so much for volunteering for this propaganda video."
"The pleasure is ours! You've all been so welcoming as I prepare to give birth and join your wonderful species."
"My wife is the best, a model human-turned-Xangarr!"
"Aww, thanks babe!"
THE END