Chapter Text
Two months and a half.
That was how long Ilay had been away for work. Seeing as he did not brought Tae-ui with him, the work must have been one leaning on a more dangerous side.
Tae-ui would be lying if he claimed he wasn't worried, but his experiences with Ilay had taught him that Ilay was not easily vanquished. Worrying would simply waste energy. So, Tae-ui waited leisurely at the Riegrow household, spending much of his time in the home theater that Ilay had gifted him for his birthday.
A/N: In the short story of “Holy Passion”, Tae-ui was given a home theatre as a gift by Ilay as a birthday gift due to Tae-ui complaining on how boring it could be to stay at the house.
Occasionally, he also helped Kyle with work alongside Chris, which proved to be a bit of a challenge as Richard kept a watchful eyes on him whenever this happened. Still, they managed to work well together. Beyond that, Tae-ui enjoyed helping Peter and Rita with household chores which he enjoys the most.
A/N: In the novel of “Suite Side: DS”, Chris ended up working under Kyle, helping James in reducing his workload.
Lately, however, Tae-ui had been feeling like a mess.
His mood fluctuate up and down drastically, making him unpredictable. Just last week—where he was supposed to help Kyle—he arrived at Kyle’s study with swollen eyes from crying over an abandoned cat video the night before. His eyes were so puffy that Kyle sent him straight back to his room to rest.
Another notable incident occurred when Tae-ui lost his appetite, consuming nothing but water for two days, only to devour all the strawberries—meant for welcoming guests—at midnight. Rita discovered him and screamed in surprise; the dim light with the red stains from the strawberries made it appear as if he had consumed something far more sinister.
Kyle, worried with Tae-ui, ordered James to buy Tae-ui’s favorite beer thinking it would cheer Tae-ui up, but all the beers were left untouched. Such behavior was unlike Tae-ui, only escalating Kyle's worry.
Out of all the moments of Tae-ui’s weird behavior, last night was what snapped Tae-ui’s fuse. While preparing for a bath, he caught sight of his half-naked reflection in the mirror…
His abs had vanished.
“………”
After all the effort maintaining his physique, to have it disappear? It seemed like a cruel joke at his expense. Enraged, Tae-ui locked himself in his room, emerging only at midnight to eat and drink enough to survive.
Kyle, at a loss for how to handle Tae-ui’s erratic behavior, finally contacted Ilay, urging him to return home quickly to help manage the situation.
❖❖❖
Upon hearing about Tae-ui’s condition, Ilay hurried to wrap up his work and managed to return home within a week of Kyle’s call.
He came back at noon but he found Tae-ui sleeping on his room with his eyes swollen as if he had cried before. A tinged of guilt felt by Ilay for leaving Tae-ui in such a state, which felt displeasingly unfamiliar.
Not wanting to disturb him, Ilay slipped under the blanket, wrapping his arms around Tae-ui from behind to join him in an afternoon nap, but Tae-ui, seemed to be awoken by the gesture, shifted his body slightly to let the other person know that he’s awake.
“…Ilay?”
His voice still hoarse from sleep and maybe also from the cries just this morning.
“Hey Taeil, what happened with you?” Ilay replied as he peppered Tae-ui’s face with soft kisses.
“What took you so long?”
It was so unlike Tae-ui to show concern about how long Ilay was being away. Normal people would have felt guilty seeing the expression Tae-ui’s wore while asking the question—solemn with a hint of sadness and longing—but the thought that Tae-ui missed him while he was away only cause a sense of delight. So Ilay couldn’t help but smile hearing that, and just shower Tae-ui with even more kisses.
“I’m sorry, work was a bit challenging this time, but I’m back now. What? Did you miss me, Taeil?”
Ilay meant the question as a light-hearted joke, not expecting a response. However, Tae-ui’s reply further amused and touched him:
“…Yes. I miss you so much. Don’t leave me for long anymore…”
Ilay’s eyes widened in astonishment, he froze for a bit before a smirk formed on his mouth alongside a frown—showing how amused he was, yet, also concerned at what made Tae-ui behave the way he did.
“Ah-ha… what’s gotten into you, Taeil? Why are you being like this? Not that I mind… but it’s a bit concerning.”
“I don’t know… what is wrong with me? What will happen to me? Am I dying?”
Tae-ui’s just dried eyes slowly pooled up with fresh tears, glistening his eyes with a shine. Looking at that, Ilay’s expression softened and he quickly pulled Tae-ui into his arms, embracing him gently, offering reassurance through his touch.
“You will only die of old age, I’ll make sure of that.”
Ilay said in a gentle, soothing voice, a departure from his usual teasing remarks. Though a bit embarrassed by Ilay’s gentleness towards him, Tae-ui must admit that helped him to feel a bit more at ease.
“To ensure that, we should check if anything’s happening with you so we can address it quickly. We’ll visit a doctor tomorrow,” Ilay added, receiving a soft hum of agreement from Tae-ui against his chest.
❖❖❖
“Mr. Riegrow?”
A nurse called out Ilay’s name to affirm that the patient was present. Ilay and Tae-ui stood up from their waiting bench and got a nod from the nurse to follow her. They walked down the crowd to arrive at a less busier area and stop at the front door of the doctor’s room. The nurse knock a few times before opening it without awaiting for the doctor’s response, announcing that the patient had arrived.
Sat there, behind a desk, was a man seemed to be on his mid fifties. He has a thin hair which hang on by a thread from going bald completely. He gave both Tae-ui and Ilay a polite smile and asked them to sit down.
Tae-ui, visibly nervous, unconsciously gripped his pants, trying to steady his nerves. Noticing this, Ilay moved his chair closer, taking Tae-ui’s hand and gently tracing soothing circles with his thumb.
“Mr. Riegrow, welcome. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”
The doctor greeted, offering a formal handshake, which Ilay returned with equal formality.
“Doctor Ivan, it’s been a while. Thank you for seeing us.”
“Indeed, it has been. I used to treat ‘your patient’ for you. But it has been years since I’ve done that. Usually, it’s Mr. Gable who took care of them. What’s the occasion this time?”
It seemed that doctor Ivan was the one who always treated Ilay’s victim back in his younger days, when Yuri was still the one taking care of his messes.
“I’ve moved past those days, doctor,” Ilay replied with a polite smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, “I’ve brought my lover with me this time.” Ilay added, casually saying the word ‘lover’ as if that wasn’t something close to a miracle when it comes to him.
At this, Tae-ui's nervousness quickly shifted to embarrassment. His face flushed red but he was too speechless and embarrassed to say anything, so he just look down—face-palmed—right after he looked at Ilay with disbelief, mortified by Ilay’s casual confession.
The doctor raised an eyebrow but tactfully chose not to comment, focusing on his work instead.
“Understood. So, may I know what has been troubling you, Mr…?”
“Tae-ui, Jeong Tae-ui. Feel free to call me Tay if my name is difficult to pronounce.”
Tae-ui was relieved he wasn’t stuttering with his words after being attacked by a sudden embarrassment from Ilay. And he was also glad that he could maintain his maturity from not punching Ilay in the face for giving him an amused teasing look.
“Alright Mr. Tay. Would you please let me know what’s been bothering you?”
❖❖❖
Jeong Tae-ui had a bad feeling.
He expected a routine visit to the doctor: get some tests done, receive medication, and be told to rest. But the more questions Doctor Ivan asked, the more concerned Tae-ui became as the examination grew increasingly comprehensive.
At first, Tae-ui did not think much of it, that was until the questions veered into unexpected territory, like inquiring about his sex life, the frequency of intimate encounters with Ilay, and whether they used protection. Tae-ui understood these questions were within the realm of standard medical inquiries. However, when Doctor Ivan suggested an ultrasound, Tae-ui's unease escalated.
Why would a man need an ultrasound? It’s as if he’s implying that there might be something in my stomach……
Even Ilay, who was once still had a teasing remarks at first, grew silent the more doctor Ivan examined Tae-ui. Ilay no longer considered this to be a minor illness with all these tests done to Tae-ui.
Eventually, doctor Ivan excuse himself and went out of the room, promising to brought back results when he came back.
"I’ll review your results, Mr. Tay, and provide an explanation once everything is clear," Doctor Ivan said with professional calm, as though the barrage of tests was entirely normal. "Now, if you'll excuse me." With a nod, he left the room.
The room went silent following a *click* of the door closing.
“………”
“Ilay.” Tae-ui finally broke the silence, earning a quiet "Hm?" from Ilay.
"You might want to prepare for your colleagues to come after you once I die first.”
A/N: In the novel “Suite Side: Passion”, Ilay ordered for the special task force to kill him if Tae-ui happens to die before him.
At this point, Tae-ui had resigned himself to the possibility that something was seriously wrong, perhaps even terminal. While it was regrettable to die so young, what could he do?
Hearing that, Ilay clicked his tongue in irritation, telling Tae-ui to quit speaking nonsense.
"You’re not going to die, Tae-ui. I know you tend to overthink things, but you’ll be fine, just like always. I’ll protect you.”
"But you can’t protect me from something inside my own body, can you?”
“I can. Watch me.”
The words itself was not the one that reassured Tae-ui that everything would be alright. It was Ilay’s demeanor throughout the ordeal. Halfway through the examinations, Ilay had started holding Tae-ui’s hand, offering comfort through gentle motions. Even without words, Tae-ui understood that Ilay was attempting to calm him in his own way.
Tae-ui’s face flushed red at the thought. It had been years since they were together, and Tae-ui knew he was being treated differently by that lunatic. But he still felt embarrassed by this intimacy.
Aish… what am I? A teenager in puberty? It’s not appropriate to fell like this when my life is on the line…
Before Tae-ui could spiral further into his thoughts, the door clicked opened, and in stepped Doctor Ivan.
Both Tae-ui and Ilay instinctively looked in his direction, searching his expression for clues—hope, relief, dread—anything that might hint whether the news was good or bad. But the doctor’s face remained as stoic as it had been since their initial meeting, making it impossible to guess the outcome.
“Thank you for waiting. Your results are out, Mr. Tay.” Doctor Ivan said calmly as he took a seat.
“So how is Taeil?”
Ilay cut through the chase, wasting no time with formality. He had enough with all these tests done to Tae-ui and was impatient to hear what was wrong with Tae-ui.
“To put it simply, Mr. Tay, you’re as healthy as you can be.”
Hearing that, Tae-ui wanted to felt relief, but he knew that there must be a catch to that, so instead of relaxing, he tensed up, bracing himself for what might come next.
“The test results shows that you’re as healthy as a three months pregnant person can be, Mr. Tay. Congratulation to both you and Mr. Riegrow.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
what?
Both Tae-ui and Ilay fell silent.
The words hung heavy in the air. The statement was so absurd that Tae-ui given up commenting all together. Ilay, on the other hand, who was usually unshakable in the face of surprises, but even him—being given the statement that Tae-ui was pregnant—was also at a loss for words.
❖❖❖
The ride home was choked with silence—no one dared to break it. The weight of what had been said hung heavy in the air.
“From the tests, it turns out you’re an intersex, Mr. Tay. You possess both male and female reproductive systems. However, your case leans more towards the male side. So, you’ve lived your life with predominantly male characteristics. Usually, it would be nearly impossible for someone like you to get pregnant, but, due to your frequent intimacy with Mr. Riegrow, it created a rare, miraculous circumstances—resulting in this pregnancy.”
Tae-ui remembered every word vividly that the doctor had said to him. But again, the absurdity of it all made the words hung in the air, swirling in his mind, unable to fully register.
“Normally, if the pregnancy was unplanned, there’d be options to terminate it while it’s still in its early stages. However, as your case is special, there might be some complication that would be hard to deal with due to the lack of research on bodies like yours. So, I highly suggest that you keep it, Mr. Tay.”
Keep it… he said. Keep what? Tae-ui kept trying to process the doctor’s words, but the more he tried, the dizzier he became.
“All in all, there is always an option on how you would want to proceed with things. For now, I’ll let you discussed this with Mr. Riegrow. If you still had questions regarding your circumstances, feel free to contact me through the number I’m sure Mr. Riegrow had of me. Please return next week to let me know your decision. Whatever you decides, I will try my best to assist you through it all, Mr. Tay.”
The ride home was as silent as a frozen air can be.
Tae-ui didn’t even realized they had arrived already. His body moved on its own like an autopilot. When he had come to his senses, he had already been inside his room.
Tae-ui heard a sound from behind him and looked back to see Ilay standing still by the door. Ilay’s face was calm, unreadable, but it didn’t come off as cold, more like an expression he always wore when he observed things.
“You did it huh?” Tae-ui let out a weak chuckle as he said those words. “One time you said you’ve been trying to see what would happen if you keep filling me up with your genes.”
Ilay remained silent, and Tae-ui took that as permission to keep talking.
“I thought you were joking…. but you actually meant it?”
Tae-ui laugh. Not a chuckle anymore, it was a genuine laugh that came off from the heart. The whole thing was so absurd that he couldn’t help but find some strange humor in it.
A/N: In the novel of “Suite: Complete”, Ilay said he had been ‘giving Tae-ui his genes’ for a month straight no rest to see if he could get Tae-ui pregnant even though he’s a man.
“How does it feel to accomplished what you’ve been trying for years?”
Tae-ui had always knew that living with Ilay would invites so many unpredictable situation, and he had accepted it all these years. And Tae-ui had also succeeded in maintaining his sanity throughout the years. But perhaps now, for the first time, he felt the edge of losing it.
“Oh, Ilay… what a life it is, living with you.”
Tae-ui smiled, but it trembled. Because as much as he wanted to laugh, a part of him wasn’t sure whether to cry.
Ilay looked at Tae-ui silently, his expression softening as he sighed deeply. He massaged his neck, twisting it side to side until it cracked, then he looked at Tae-ui straight in the eyes. He walked over slowly towards a motionless Tae-ui, stopping just close enough for their arms to touch. Ilay slowly took Tae-ui’s shoulder and gently guided Tae-ui to sit on the bed. Once Tae-ui was seated, Ilay paused for a bit before he kneeled down in between Tae-ui’s legs, his hands firmly rest on Tae-ui’s thigh.
“Tae-ui,” He called out Tae-ui’s name softly. It took Tae-ui off guard at how softly his name was being called out by Ilay’s mouth, but he was too tired to react.
“Let’s keep it. The baby.”
Tae-ui felt an urge to protest, to yell at Ilay for daring to tell him what to do with his body.
But he couldn’t.
Not because he didn’t dare to—or maybe yes, experience had taught him there was no point in protesting when Ilay had set his mind on something—but it was because Ilay’s expression as he said those words was… odd.
Over the years, he had learned at how much more humane Ilay had become. The once erratic lunatic now showed emotions befitting a normal person. One such example would be this moment.
Ilay’s expression… he smiled, gently. His eyes were visibly twinkling from what Tae-ui guess would be from excitement. It was as if he really did felt like it finally paid off to have mercilessly trying all these years.
“You… you were actually serious on getting me pregnant huh?” Annoyance laced those words as it came out of Tae-ui’s mouth.
“Well, I was only joking as I thought you were a man at first. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a glint of curiosity about what might happened.”
Sigh….
Tae-ui massaged the bridge of his nose, “Ilay, don’t you understand how bizarre the whole thing is? I have lived my whole life believing I’m a fully grown man! A. Man! Ilay, A. M-A-N. And now I suddenly got pregnant because… you…! Because you—“ his speech got cut off, not from anything but his own inability to find the right words to best describe this whole mess.
Frustrated, Tae-ui scratched up his hair roughly before falling back onto the bed, taking the pillow to cover his face while groaning in frustration.
Ilay chuckled at Tae-ui’s turmoil before he stood up and plopped himself right besides Tae-ui, pulling him in an embrace.
“It’ll be fine, Taeil.”
Tae-ui aggressively threw the pillow aside and glared menacingly at Ilay.
“Ilay, don’t you understand just how much our life would change because of the baby? What would the others think of it?! I’ll be the gossip of the town and you wouldn’t be infamous for your ruthless behavior anymore, but from being able to get a man pregnant! For fuck sake! Do you even understand what it means to raise a kid? They’re a whole new human being, Ilay. They need proper care and love to be raised well. Do you really think we’re going to be a good enough father to raise the kid well?! Me, perhaps. You??? Oh my God, it was so out of place that I can’t even imagine it.”
Once again Tae-ui groan in frustration as he face-palmed himself.
Ilay laughed at Tae-ui concern, which just annoyed Tae-ui even further. And as his laugh subsided, with a smile on his face, Ilay said:
“Taeil… Don’t think about the others, focus on us. You’ll teach me on how to properly raise a kid and I might not be prefect at it, but you know me. I always get the job done, don’t I? I often said this but, don’t think too much. Everything will be alright.”
“………”
Tch, does this bastard even understand what he was saying? And how dare he! How dare he says those words with such sincerity… As if he really is delighted at the news of this whole mess! How dare he looks gentle…
Tae-ui averted his gaze away, he didn’t want Ilay to see how flushed red he became just from seeing Ilay’s smile. He then flipped his body to the side, reaching out for the pillow to hug it close.
For heaven’s sake, I don’t know anymore. What happens, happens.
Tae-ui couldn’t even envision what the future holds for them, but one thing he sure of, was that Ilay meant every word he said. And that in itself,was somehow enough of a reassurance for Tae-ui.
“Make sure I am well taken care of, you bastard.” Tae-ui said to the pillow, muffling his sound.
Hearing that, Ilay smiled brightly as he pulled Tae-ui closer to his own body, burying his head at the nook of Tae-ui’s neck.
“Yes, I’ll take care of you both. Leave it all to me."
❖❖❖
To be continued...
A/N: *All images are Cr to Pinterest
Remember how Tae-ui is a bad narrator? This chapter implied that Ilay looked gentle in Tae-ui’s eyes, but this is honestly the look I got in mind when Ilay told Tae-ui to keep the baby:
Which… could be said as “gentle”, but, you know.
Oh and one more thing, if you read Ilay calling Tae-ui as “Taeil” or “Tae-ui”, that’s on purpose. Those who read the novel would know that Ilay sometime slipped in perfect pronunciation just to be amused that Tae-ui never notice.