Chapter Text
Shane was tired. He was tired of hiding ilya. He was tired of having to stand next to him at training and pretend he doesn't want to hold his hand. He was tired of people always forcing the agenda that they hate each other. He was tired of people speaking badly about the man he loved right in front of him and not being able to stand up for him.
Right now, he would do anything for things to be different for them. He wished that Ilya had his citizenship, he wished they weren't ‘rivals’ and he wished people weren't so damn ignorant.
By ‘people’, he meant his best friend. Hayden fucking pike.
Hayden has been Shane’s best friend since their rookie season three years ago. His girlfriend (now wife) Jackie had been a lovely friend to him and partner to Hayden over the years. After only months of knowing Hayden, Sunday dinners at the pike house became tradition. However, when he finally came to terms with his feelings towards Ilya, the comments began to irritate him more. Of course, there was the rivalry, everyone knew that. Everyone was aware that they chirped and bickered with each other on the ice but it was never more than that. He thought that at least Hayden would see that. When he and Ilya spent their time in the cottage and they confessed everything, they became exclusive. Now, after a year, they've never been happier.
The only thing holding him back was the secrecy. He longed for a day where he could hold his boyfriend's hand in public and everyone would know that this man made him the happiest he’s ever been. That the man everyone calls his rival is secretly the love of his life. Maybe then people would stop the comments, the snide remarks that left him clenching his jaw and biting his tongue.
Like right now, he was sat at the pikes downing table, wishing to be anywhere else, more specifically, back at home, where his wonderful boyfriend was waiting for him. Of course, Hayden chose right then to speak up.
“Oh Shane, I forgot to mention, I saw rozanov yesterday” Well of course you did Hayden we played against him, he thought. he didn't say that though, he bit his tongue.
“Oh yeah?” He asked, hoping that the story ended there.
“Yeah, fuck I hate that guy, such an asshole”
“What did he do to you?” Honestly, Shane couldn’t help being snippy at this point, why did Hayden feel the need to complain like a child about him at every chance?
“What are you talking about? He’s Rozanov, he's just a dick," Hayden huffed, crossing his arms. Even Jackie had to tell him to stop behaving like a baby in front of the kids.
Eventually, Shane managed to sit through a whole dinner, drowning out Hayden's incessant winging. He finally, finally made it back home, home to ilya.
He opened the door, walked to the couch and fell straight down into his boyfriend's arms. Ilya put an arm around him instantly, pulling him close. Another hand went to Shane's hair, stroking his head to soothe him. “You want to talk about it, sweetheart?” he asked gently, his words carrying no pressure. His presence really was enough to calm Shane. “I just really fucking hate the way he speaks about you, the way everyone fucking speaks about you! They act like they know you when if they actually knew you they wouldn't ever say these stupid things!” Ilya just ran a comforting hand up and down his back, kissing his head. “I know baby, but you know it doesn't get to me, I'm fine” he insisted…and shane wished it was true. He saw the way Ilya's face fell when Shane had to speak about hating him, the way his jaw clenched when he mentioned going to hang with Hayden. But he never would say anything, he never fucking said anything because he is just perfect, he made it clear that he would wait forever for Shane to be ready before coming out to people, even if it was hurting him. He knew it wasn't the time for that discussion tonight. “I love you, you know?”
“Я тоже тебя люблю, моя любовь.” he leaned up for a kiss before letting ilya take him to bed.
***
“Fucking hell who is ringing the doorbell at this time” shane groaned after being rudely awakened at seven in the morning. “Maybe delivery?” Ilya replied, his voice deep in the way that only comes from being woken against your will. “I'll go check, two minutes” Shane said, kissing his boyfriend's head and slipping out the covers to get the door.
Still half asleep, he opened the front door without checking the peephole (his first mistake) and fucking Hayden stormed in as soon as it was unlocked, barging past Shane and into the living room, clearly stressed.
“Finally! I've been waiting in the cold for ages! What took you so long?”
“H-hayden, why are you in my house at the crack of dawn?" Of course it was fucking hayden. Who else would be obnoxious enough to storm into someone else's house after being rude to them about not opening up quick enough?
“Me and jackie had a fight this morning because apparently its my turn to get amber even though i totally got her last week and i had barely slept anyway because-”
“Hayden!” he snapped, shutting him up. “You can't seriously have come here to complain about your wife who, by the way, has every right to ask you to look after your own child. You think you're tired? You leave her alone with two under two every day! Imagine how she feels!” Hayden just stared blankly at him, as if he was expecting sympathy for having to look after his own infant child.
“Why are you taking her side? She's being completely ridiculous?!” he cried. Shane pinched the bridge of his nose to stop from screaming before replying, “shes not being ridiculous, hayden, you are. You can't barge into someone's house like this, first off. And secondly, if you've had a fight with the mother of your children, you talk about it! You don't run away when things aren't working out for you to complain about her to me!” well there goes being calm.
Hayden just slumped down on his couch, arms crossed and pouting like a lunatic. They sat in silence for a few minutes, shane waiting for a right time to politely ask him to get the fuck out of his house.
Apparently someone had different ideas..
“Shane, малыш, come back to be-” he stopped dead in his tracks, mortified as hayden snapped his head back at him. Shane's heart fell out of his asshole. Hayden’s mouth was hung open, eyes unreadable as he stared at the both of them, who were equally shocked.
“Shane?” hayden snapped, staring him dead in the eye, “what the fuck is he doing here?!”
Shane didn't know what to say, to be honest. What was he meant to say? Hi hayden, this is ilya rozanov who you hate and weve been fucking for three years and together for one? No. He couldn't say that, which is why he said: “..uhm” yeah, good save Shane..
He looked over to Ilya for support who was, rightfully, mortified. He was standing in the stairway wearing nothing but plaid pants and being stared down half to death.
“Shane?! Seriously, why is rozanov here?!” shane hated the way he said his name, as if it was dirty, as if he didn't deserve a title. Shane felt his anger rise immediately. “Well he's here because he's….my boyfriend” he watched as Ilya's eyes widened impossibly further, along with Hayden's. Although Ilyas settled shortly into something close to awe as Hayden darkened into a scowl as he turned to face his boyfriend. Shane didn't like that one bit. Hayden must have realised. He looked back to shane, “look man, i have no problem with you being like gay”
Oh? That's good…right?
“It's just him” he huffed, eyeing Ilya with disgust whilst simultaneously speaking about him as if he wasn’t there. The combination made Shane furious. “What are you talking about?!” he demanded, standing up from the couch. Hayden seemed to not be fazed, as if this were normal. “I mean, we all hate him, you do as well! For as long as I've known you, we both hated him! He's a dick! He can't seriously be your boyfriend….have you even met him?!”
He spoke as if each word didn't make Shane want to drown him in the lake.
“Obviously ive fucking met him! Ive known him longer than ive known you! In fact, ive fucking loved him longer than ive known you” he saw haydens eyes widen, his jaw going slack, but he carried on, “also, stop speaking about him as though hes not standing right here!” In the time he was speaking, Ilya had made his way towards Shane and he had a hand resting on his lower back. Shane grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. He took a deep breath, leaning into his boyfriend's touch before returning his gaze to Hayden.
“Why didn't you tell me?” he asked.
“We didn't tell anyone”
“You should have told me Shane, I'm your best friend!” Shane scoffed.
“Based on your current reaction, I think you can take a guess why we didn't tell you” he replied, looking down at him, crossed armed and red faced.
“I guess you're right. I just don't understand…why him?”
“If you spent even five minutes getting to know him off the ice, you'd know why” Shane answered, already fed up.
Hayden was silent for a second, so Shane looked up at Ilya. His expression was neutral, unreadable to anyone else, but she knew every part of him. He saw the fear.
“Всё будет хорошо, он поймет.” shane told him, rubbing his fingers over ilyas knuckles. He smiled back, “Простите, я не знала, что он здесь, обещаю.” shanes heart dropped, that's what he was scared of? That Shane would be mad?
“Я не злюсь, моя любовь. Это не твоя вина.” he smiled as big as he could manage right now, and ilya smiled back, nodding.
A throat clearing interrupted them. They both looked down to see Hayden scowling at them (read: at ilya) and Shane rolled his eyes.
“What?” he asked, fed up.
“You speak Russian now?” he snarled.
Ilya spoke up, “he is very good, yes? A natural i say.” he beamed at Shane which made him melt.
Under his breath, hayden muttered, “nobody fucking asked you rozanov” and shane saw red.
“Okay, that's enough. Get out” his voice was low and edging on a growl but Shane didn't care, he stared at Hayden with cruel eyes. “What do you mean ‘get out’? I just got here!” he asked, incredulous.
“I mean, get the fuck out my house if your going to speak to him like that” the bastard just laughed, “buddy, im only messing around, just like he does!” The worst part is, he looked like he believed himself. “No. He jokes around on the ice, like he's meant to, he chirps everyone and it's never, ever hurtful. Your being purposefully rude to him and looking at him like hes the dirt under your shoe, so get the fuck out" He snapped, and Hayden winced before, reluctantly, standing.
“Whatever” he scoffed, walking out. He had the nerve to slam the door on the way out and Shane felt Ilya tighten his hold on their hands.
“Well fuck” he muttered, sinking into his boyfriends hold. They fell down onto the couch. “Da, fuck. I am sorry baby, you don’t deserve that” Shane froze.
He didn’t deserve that?? It was Ilya who was being disrespected!
“No. You don’t deserve that! I don’t know why he speaks about you like that.” he huffed, pulling his boyfriend in tighter.
They spent the rest of the morning lounging on the couch, watching anything and everything, soaking in each other's warmth. Ilya made them tuna melts for lunch as they laughed about the last time. They fooled around on the couch and brought each other to the edge and back until they were both begging, in Shane’s view, a perfect day. That was, until at 3pm, he got a text from the one person he didn’t want to speak to.
Hayd: look man, I’m sorry for freaking out like that. You know how I feel about him.
Hayd: Come get a drink with me tonight? We can talk.
Shane let out a deep sigh, startling Ilya, who looked at him questioningly. Shane showed him the phone. “I think you should go” he replied, his expression stable. “What?” he exclaimed, sitting up to check ilya hadn't come down with a fever. who was this man and what had he done with his boyfriend?
“I know he was asshole, but is probably my fault. You should go, see what he says. Also, you need to make sure he doesn’t tell people” He dragged in a long breath before speaking. “First of all, this is not your fault, yes, you chirp people, but that's literally a part of the sport and it's never left the ice. He is being a child. He will come around." He ran a hand through his hair, “but you're right, I need to speak to him before he slips up and tells someone. He needs to know how bad this could be.”
Shane: Fine. But I don't want to go to a bar, I'll come over if that's ok?
Hayd: Sure bud, Jackie and the kids have gone to her mums, she's still mad. Come over when you're ready.
he turned back to ilya, “I’ll go to his house instead, that way I can leave easily when i want”
“Mm, okay dorogoy, please call me if you need”
“I will baby” he kissed his head.
7:00pm
He rang the doorbell with a weird mix of dread and hope. As annoying as he can be, Hayden's been his only friend for a long time, he really would love for him to be supportive.
The door opened and Hayden stepped aside to let him in, he looked a mess. Shane didn't really feel guilty though, he would be looking the same way if he didn't have ilya with him right now.
They sat on the couch in thick, awkward silence until hayden spoke. “Look shane, i want you to know i support you being gay, please dont think im being homophobic or anything” he took a deep breath and continued, “i just want whats best for you, thats all”
Shane scoffed dismissively but replied, “and what makes you think he’s not what’s best for me?”
Hayden looked at him as if the question needed no answer, as if it was obvious. Shane just raised an eyebrow, urging him to answer.
“Mate, we’ve both seen it, he’s slept with almost all of Boston. What makes you think he could settle down?” The tone was gentle, but the implication was there.
He can’t be loyal
The accusation sparked something in him, he hated that this wasn’t the first time. He had heard it before,
‘manwhore’
‘ladies man’
‘can’t be locked down’
He wished he could tell people there wasn’t even a hint of truth behind it, that he’s been ‘locked down’ for the past year, that everything was fake. But he couldn’t, and it was his fault.
It was his fault that Ilya got called these names when it wasn’t true. So he would deal with it.
“What the fuck makes you think that? Hes been loyal the whole time we’ve been together, and even before that. Hell! If anything, I was worse, he made me a tuna melt and I went off and dated rose Landry for a month! And he stayed, Hayden. He waited, even though it killed him.” He was getting quickly more angry, his heart was hurting and he could only imagine it being a fraction of what Ilya has felt because of him.
Hayden didn’t speak for a minute, he was slumped into the couch, his face contorted between a scowl and guilt.
“Fine, im not going to tell you you can’t see him anymore-”
“You couldn’t tell me that anyway! What the fuck Hayden? I’m a full grown adult and your not my mother!”
“I know, I’m your best friend and I’m looking out for you. I want you to be careful. But I’ll deal with it I guess” he huffed, turning to face away from him.
“Oh stop being a child Hayden, you’ll get over it when you see how happy I am, if your truly a good friend, me being happy will be enough for you. I’m leaving now, you’ve said enough, text me when you decide to be an adult about this.”
He stood up and made his way to the door, when he remembered.
‘He needs to know how bad it could be’
He turned back around.
“And Hayden?”
He looked up.
“If you tell a single soul, and that includes Jackie, i promise you, I will never fucking speak to you again. I’m serious”
Hayden looked surprised for a moment at the threat before biting his lip and nodding, a promise.
He opened the door and left.
***
The following week went by without so much of a word from Hayden, something Shane was grateful for. Him and Ilya both had the next month free from hockey before the new season was to start and they would be using it wisely. Of course, Shane had the occasional meeting with Farah or a branded photoshoot to attend, but still, it was the most free time they had ever had together and shane knew it was a big deal.
On the first day, Ilya convinced him to get in the lake and they spent the whole afternoon on the jetskis. The normality of it all made Shane's heart ache, knowing that their relationship, really, would never be normal. He let himself be greedy though, soaking it in and, just for a while, forgetting everything else.
The second day was mostly spent in the bedroom, until they needed a change, (on the couch, bent over the counter, on the dock, in the shower). When the sun set, they were both spent and cuddled into each other's warmth, letting sleep take them.
The rest of the week continued at the same pace, slow days where they could enjoy what it felt like to be a normal couple in love before having to face the real world again. But they would think about that when the time came.
***
After a week of radio silence from Hayden, shane finally received a message from him. Him and ilya were sat on the dock, ilya eating ice cream and Shane reading. The message startled them both.
Hayden: Hey man. I want to apologise for the other day, I know you're angry but you should know I'm only trying to look out for you.
Hayden: Either way, it wasn't cool what I said and I wanted to invite you to spend a few days with us at the cottage, we're going down tomorrow and Jackie says you're welcome to come. The kids miss you.
Shane tilted the phone to show Ilya and sagged against his shoulder. “I don't know what to do, I want to mend this relationship but seriously, if he says something bad to you again, I might just punch him in front of the kids.” he sighed, leaning into his boyfriends side. “Maybe if he sees how happy we are, he might come around?” Ilya offered, “I promise I will try to be nice to him. I want to be helpful, I know you love him and Jackie." The sincerity caught him off guard. Unusually, when Hayden was the topic of discussion, Ilya tried to hide behind jokes and teasing, but now, he was being genuine. He saw how Shane was feeling, and he adapted.
Shane sat up and shifted until he was straddling him, he placed his hands on Ilya's chin, lifting his head so that they were looking at each other. He could tell his eyes were wet, embarrassingly so, but he blinked back the tears. “I don't know what I did to deserve you" He kissed his cheek, “you are so fucking perfect” he kissed his forehead “i love you so much мое сердце” he let the tears fall and wrapped his arms around ilya's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. They fell back against the dock, on top of each other, Shane whispering sweet nothings in Ilya's ear as he kissed down his neck.
Tucked up in bed that night, he replied to Hayden.
Shane: Sounds good, meet you there at 1?
Hayden: Cant wait bud.