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“Ya look like shit, Ichi.”
Never, in a million years, did Ichigo ever think he’d come face to face with his estranged older brother ever again, and least of all, under these circumstances. Shirosaki Hichigo was a legend among most of the Karakuran populace, the one who had defied his fate as a mongrel, and had left the planet of Tengoku, to go off who knew where, to do who knew what, only to return a few years later as a famous singing sensation, popular throughout the galaxy, wealthy and free, something that most Karakuran’s couldn’t even dream of. He’d come back to Tengoku a few times, but had ignored his roots, and what remained of his family, not that they’d expected him to acknowledge them. As far as they had known, he’d made his official home on Rakunda, a planet that was half ocean, half desert, but with a massive economy in jewels, metals, and performers.
But for Ichigo, who had spent the last few years as a Pet to Tengoku’s ruler, Aizen Sousuke, waking up in his master’s bed, sticky, sore and tired from the previous night’s activities, and having his older brother’s white face be the first thing he saw, was nothing less than heart-stopping.
Hichigo was crouched next to the bed, his chin resting on his hand as he gazed flatly at his little brother, lying on his side near the edge of the mattress, staring up at up him, speechless and white with shock. “Ya never told me ya wanted to be a Pet, Ichi. Or should I take it that ya aren’t here cause ya wanna be?” he said flatly.
“W-Wha . . . What are you doing here . . . ?!” Ichigo stammered, finally finding his voice.
Hichigo shrugged, “Came back to Tengoku for a show, got invited to stay here by your master. Never thought I’d run into ya, of all people, especially as Aizen’s pet. That came as one hell of a surprise . . . .” there was something in the white haired male’s voice, barely even noticeable, but not identifiable.
Anger flared up in Ichigo’s chest, and he sat up, ignoring the pain that shot up his spine from the abrupt movement, though he winced a bit. “It’s not like I’m here ‘cause I want to be! Besides, you’re one to talk, Hichi-nii.” He hissed, falling back on the old name he’d used for his brother out of habit, “You’re the one who abandoned Dad, Karin, Yuzu, and I all those years ago!”
Hichigo was decidedly unimpressed, he’d figured this was how their conversation was going to go, at least at first. He just continued to stare at his little brother, with his sharp gold on black eyes, that had always been thought to be some sort of genetic mutation. “Ya know, Ichi, ya really should get up and take a bath. Like I said, ya look like shit.” He said emotionlessly, rising to his feet.
Ichigo looked down at his naked body, and flushed scarlet, quickly pulling one of the silken sheets over his bruised, love-bitten skin, “Wh-Where’s . . . Aizen-sama?” he muttered, refusing to look his big brother in the eye.
“He had some meetings or something, I offered to watch ya while he was gone, only on the understanding that I am not allowed to touch ya sexually, at all. Pfft. As if I’d want to touch my own baby brother.”
“Liar.” Ichigo hissed icily, “You’re the one who suggested that you help both me and Renji out on our first time, because neither of us knew what we were doing. You got to have us both, though we knew that you really just wanted to get into my pants.”
Hichigo grinned, “Ya were a great lay, Ichi. One of the best I’ve ever had.” He purred without a single iota of remorse in him. Gods above, it was good to see his baby brother again.
“Get out of here, bastard!” Ichigo screeched, hurling pillows and whatever else was within reach until Hichigo had retreated from the room. He was left with a pounding heart, an aching back, and an overwhelming sense of confusion.
‘Hichi-nii is here . . . what the hell . . . ?’
~
“Ichigo, I’m sure you’ve met our guest, Shirosaki Hichigo, the singer from Rakunda.” His master was saying pleasantly, obviously completely oblivious to the fact that Hichigo was not only from Tengoku originally, but that his Pet and his guest were brothers. The three of them were seated at Aizen’s ornate dining room table, enjoying a meal prepared by Ulquiorra, who, despite his apparent lack of personality and emotions, was one of the best cooks in all of Tengoku.
Ichigo nodded stiffly, though he didn’t say anything, and once again, pointedly refused to look directly at his older brother. He’d had to spend an entire morning, and half the afternoon with the white-haired man, and just like the old days, Hichigo had almost driven him to homicidal rage. He’d taken to hiding in Aizen’s room with the door locked until his master had come home and ordered him to come out.
“He’s going to be putting on a concert tonight, and I want you to come with me.” Aizen went on, giving the golden-eyed singer a glance and a pleased smile.
“It’s an honor to know you and your Pet are going to be in attendance, Aizen-sama.” Hichigo replied with a smirk, his eyes glimmering with suppressed amusement.
Ichigo stiffened at Aizen’s words, but managed to bite back the sharp rejection rising up in the back of his throat, lest he be punished for acting out in front of a guest, and for telling his master ‘no’. It wasn’t like he was in any position to refuse, not without exposing Hichigo’s origins and their connection. Who knew what might happen then . . . ? But at the very least, because they were brothers, he didn’t want to ruin all the hard work Hichigo had put into getting to where he was now, even if he were an insufferable bastard.
“How long do you plan on staying on Tengoku, Shirosaki-kun?”
“I have a private concert for the Emperor of Rakunda’s daughter’s birthday the day after tomorrow, so, to get there on time, I have to leave almost directly after tonight’s show, unfortunately.” The long-haired male said, his gaze still not leaving Ichigo, who stared decidedly down at his plate.
“That’s unfortunate. Tengoku is filled with many wonders. I would have liked to show you them.”
“It seems to me that ya have a wonder sitting right here, Aizen-sama. This Pet of yours is a real piece of work. I’m wondering how ya managed to catch yourself one like him.”
Ichigo blushed partially out of embarrassment, partially out of muted anger at his brother’s words, and the fact that he was being discussed like he wasn’t capable of answering things for himself. He was well aware that his brother was trying to figure out how he got there in the first place, what he was doing as the Pet of Aizen Sousuke.
“He is, Shirosaki-kun. He is quite the prize. I’ve always had a taste for the exotic, and Ichigo is about exotic as one can get in way of Pets.”
“I hear he’s from Karakura. That he’s a mongrel. No offense meant, Aizen-sama, but . . . is that true?”
Aizen frowned slightly, but nodded, “It is true. Ichigo is not an Academy Pet. He was not born and bred a Pet, but . . . I believe that is what makes him the most interesting. He fights back, though he’s calmed down a great deal in the last few years.”
“I’m not one to judge, Aizen-sama. I’ve got a cute Pet back on Rakunda, a Tanagura Academy reject, as I’m told. Though . . . I ended up falling for him, and freed him. He’s got an attitude as well, and I just can’t help but be attracted to him.” There was that slightly hardened edge on Hichigo’s voice again, as though he’d just tasted something a bit bitter. Ichigo half thought it was his imagination.
“So, the laws allowing one to buy a Pet’s citizenship still exist on Rakunda?”
“They do. Honestly, it wasn’t my idea. Uryuu was the one who wanted to be able to go out in public on his own without a collar, and not be mistaken for a runaway Pet. I had to agree with him, going to pick him up from the security station, assuring them that I’d ‘properly punish’ my Pet for running away when we got home got kind of annoying.”
Ichigo’s pink cheeks abruptly went white. His brother . . . had had a Pet . . . ? Had fallen in love with his Pet . . . ? Had freed his Pet . . . ? He raised his head, mouth open to ask a question, but his master spoke up first.
“Oh, look at the time. Shirosaki-kun, if you don’t leave soon, you’re going to be late.”
Hichigo looked up at the clock, frowning slightly. With a sigh, he rose out of his chair, “Ah, you’re right. Well, I’d best get going then. I’ll see you later, Aizen-sama . . . Ichigo.” He called over his shoulder as he left.
Aizen looked over at his Pet, who was staring at the doorway where the singer had just disappeared through, a curious expression on his face, mouth slightly open as though sound were about to escape. “Is there something you wanted to say, Ichigo?” he asked quietly.
Ichigo jumped at the sound of Aizen’s voice, and looked over at him. Part of him wanted to yell out all sorts of obscenities and accusations, aimed both at his brother, as well as his master, but the more logical part of him knew that would only get him trouble. Nor could he ask why Tengoku didn’t have the same laws as Rakunda . . . why Aizen could not free him if he wanted a lover?
But that only spoke in favor of his belief that Aizen only saw him as a toy, as a living doll . . . and didn’t want anything more from him.
He closed his mouth and shook his head faintly, “No, master.”
“I see. Well then, we should get ready to depart ourselves.”
~
Hichigo looked amazing on stage, Ichigo had to admit. His waist length, bone-white hair, drawn up in a high ponytail, was bleached a ghostly silver in the pale blueish lights shining down on him. The white skin of his bare arms and shoulders was covered in intricate tribal designs, painted with a luminous red substance that shimmered and glowed like fire. There was some on his face, as well, just under his left eye. He was dressed in tight black pants, that laced up the sides, and a black shimmersilk tank-top that gleamed different colors depending on the angle one was looking at it from. He had short, fingerless gloves on, and his feet were covered in silver gravity-repulsion boots, that allowed him to hover a few feet off the stage. He looked as if he had been born to occupy the space.
He was an incredible singer. Ichigo had always known that his older brother had loved to sing, but in their situation, neither of them had believed that Hichigo’s talent would be worth anything in the future. But that was before the pale haired male had disappeared. He must have found someone on Rakunda who taught him, who nurtured his voice, until he was able to use it to his fullest capacity.
Sitting in the private box, cuddled up to his master, Ichigo watched his older brother with a conflicted sort of envy and awe. He was jealous that his older brother was free, free from everything that had once held him down, even if it had come at the cost of everything he’d known. He was so sickly green with envy on the inside that he could barely contain it, his older brother was down there, being adored by thousands of people he didn’t even know or care about, while he was stuck here, chained to a man whom he hated, but also loved. His brother had everything he wanted, but Ichigo was well aware of why it was Hichigo out there, and not him. That was where the awe came in.
His white-haired elder sibling had given up everything, abandoned everything that was safe and known, and left for some place that was full of improbabilities and uncertainties. He could have just as easily failed as succeeded. Ichigo was well aware that he hadn’t had the courage to just leave his family and his home for the slight chance that he might be able to make something of the life he had been given. He didn’t then, and he most certainly didn’t have it now. Hichigo was so much braver than him, so much stronger, so much . . . better, in many respects. It hurt his heart to think about it.
At the end of one song, Hichigo, covered in a light sheen of sweat, breathing slightly hard from the exertion, waited for the cheering to cease, before saying, “This song, which I came up with earlier today, just so you all know, is for my little brother, wherever he might be at the moment. I hope he gets what I’m trying to say through his thick skull.”
Ichigo sat up a little bit, his eyes widening slightly. Aizen noted his Pet’s surprise, but didn’t think much of it. Most people around the arena were expressing the same sort of wonder and confused curiosity.
A heavy rock beat started up, and Hichigo’s luminescent eyes slipped closed, his lips opened, and he began to sing.
“3, 2, 1.
You want it full frontal, overstimulation.”
“So say a benediction,
For a new addiction,
In voyeuristic overdrive.”
“Here comes the countdown
3 - This is the new flesh,
2 - This is the open door,
1 – We’ve got everything you wanted.”
“You want it all right now!
ULTRAnumb
Right now!”
He didn’t understand. Ichigo didn’t understand what Hichigo was trying to tell him. The words, as flowing and equally harsh as they were, didn’t make any sense to him. Not yet.
But there was something strange about his elder brother’s song, nonetheless. For some reason, he got the feeling that Hichigo was angry, but the reason why was lost to him. He couldn’t think of anything that would have made his brother so furious . . . unless . . . .
“3, 2, 1
Violated,
So degraded,
The show has just begun.”
“Dominated,
By all you hated,
This will make you ULTRAnumb.”
“3, 2, 1.
Reality’s a plague, we’re the medication.”
“A new manipulation,
Oversaturation,
Take advantage of what you deny.”
“(Here comes the countdown)
3 - So step right up and see,
2 - The possibilities,
1 - We are everything you wanted.”
To Ichigo . . . it seemed like his brother was telling him to take advantage of his situation. To take what he’d been given, and to make something of it. He realized . . . this was exactly what his big brother had done. He’d taken what he’d been handed, and handed it back as something better. Who knew what Hichigo had done to get where he was, the people he’d hurt, the pain he’d endured. There was no telling what he’d suffered on Rakunda.
Hichigo could have been, at one point, in the exact same place he was in right now, bound to another person, with no hope of escaping, but somehow, he’d done the impossible, he’d broken out and made himself into something else . . . something . . . more. Was he saying, that through his experiences, he was immune to pain and humiliation? Or was it something darker than that?
“You want it all right now!
ULTRAnumb
Right now!”
“3, 2, 1
Violated,
So degraded,
The show has just begun."
"Dominated,
By all you hated,
This will make you ULTRAnumb."
‘Violated . . . degraded . . . dominated by what I hate . . . .’ the orange-haired Pet thought. That was exactly it. That was exactly what he felt, nearly on a daily basis. He felt that numbness Hichigo had mentioned. After being beaten and raped so many times, he was beginning to develop a place inside him that didn’t, couldn’t feel anything. Ultra numb . . . it was a good name, a fitting title.
Hichigo was definitely angry, he had decided. And if he had to make a guess, it would be that he knew what Ichigo was going through, and that seeing him go through it filled the white-haired male with rage. He’d seen a single shred of it earlier, at dinner, but over the years, his brother had seemed to become quite skilled at hiding his emotions, letting people see only what he wanted them to see.
“One confession is such perfection,
Your sweet repression can’t hide who you really are.”
“Say you love it!
Say you hate it!
Doesn’t matter
Cause you’re all the same!”
“Say you want it!
Say you need it!
Come and get it?
Cause we love the shame!”
“Say you love it!
Say you hate it!
Just another one to suck the fame!
Don’t pretend that you’re better than this,
Malevolence goes both ways!”
But, maybe it wasn’t all just Hichigo’s experiences. He remembered what Hichigo had said at dinner, about his own Pet that he’d fallen in love with, and freed. He wondered what this ‘Uryuu’ was like, if their situations were similar, if their hatred of the Pet system, the subjugation of human beings for the pleasure of others, was the same.
He would have liked to meet this ‘Uryuu’, the one his brother loved. The one who he envied, even more than he envied his brother, the one who had everything that had been denied him. And yet . . . he couldn’t bring himself to feel even a single ounce of anger or hatred towards the other. He had simply been more lucky than the orangette had been. He’d had the chance to meet his outwardly demonic, but rather tender-hearted big brother.
“3, 2, 1
Violated,
So degraded,
The show has just begun."
"Dominated,
By all you hated,
This will make you ULTRAnumb."
"3, 2, 1
Violated,
So degraded,
The show has just begun."
"Dominated,
By all you hated,
This will make you ULTRAnumb,"
Ichigo stared at Hichigo down on the stage, bowing, grinning wickedly as he received thunderous cheers and applause. He understood. He understood what his elder brother had been trying to tell him. It was that, he understood Ichigo’s pain, and anger, but he knew the reality of what life was like, he was aware of what Ichigo was going through. The only way to survive without becoming a prisoner of humiliation and agony . . . he had to take what was handed to him. Take advantage of Aizen’s love, if it could be called that, and use it to mold his situation into something, at the very least, more tolerable.
Ichigo didn’t know if he could do it, in his current state, wasn’t sure if he could turn around and take advantage of that which he despised, the fact that he was the Pet of the most powerful man on the entire planet. But he was . . . happy, at least, that his big brother cared enough to try and help him through this. It was advice he didn’t think he could use, he was too broken by this point, but coming from Hichigo, it meant a lot.
Though he didn’t get to say goodbye, Ichigo felt as though a part of his brother’s unfailing strength had been given to him, and suddenly, everything was just a little bit less horrible. He could live through this. His brother had, and if Hichigo could do it, so could he. He would endure. He would survive for now. That much, he could promise.
Anything else . . . that would up to fate.