Work Text:
"Forcryinoutloud, Burke! Couldn't you keep your eyes on Danny boy here for a few? Now look at him!" Colonel O'Neill was damn angry. After all they went through to get Daniel and Doctor Lee back, this shit had to happen! If Burke thought they were into some crazy crap before… all O'Neill could think of was - Welcome to Danny's World.
Bill Lee, a not so innocent bystander in this charade, just looked on in amazement at what had transpired and thought that the flight home had started out with such promise....
"Jacob, Major, Teal'c," General Hammond addressed them once they entered the briefing room. "Take a seat and get comfortable. First I'd like to thank all of you for the dangerous assignment you undertook. I already gave my thanks to Master Bra'tac who had to leave unexpectedly." The general noticed the anxious looks cast his way. He wasn't sure how to go about divulging the recent news he had just been apprised of concerning Doctor Jackson.
The general tried to hold his explanation off for a few more moments. "I hope your injury won't keep you from the field for long, Major Carter," he asked and pointed to the sling she currently had on.
"No, sir. It won't hamper me in the slightest," she answered. Her mind, though, was a million miles away as she thought of the possible applications that the Telchak device could be used for. She couldn't wait for Daniel and the others to return with it.
Well here goes, General Hammond thought to himself. "There's been an incident involving Doctor Jackson that you need to be made aware of. Colonel O'Neill, Agent Burke and Doctor Lee, as well, are all on their way back to the base as we speak," he explained and knew they were just as worried as he was about their friends and colleagues.
"Sir, you mean another incident aside from the kidnapping?" Major Carter asked. She couldn't believe Daniel could get into so much trouble so fast.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. It seems that on the flight back no one noticed that the Telchak device somehow re-activated itself. It was placed near to where Doctor Jackson was resting. When Colonel O'Neill went back to check on him later... well, let's just say it's a good thing the colonel's heart is strong. He got quite a shock I can tell you.”
General Hammond looked at the people before him and warned, “Brace yourselves, people, because the head of our archaeological and linguistics departments has just been reduced to the approximate age of a five year old child." After dropping this bombshell on them, he watched each of their faces pale significantly. The general raised a hand to forestall any further questions. "At the moment nothing more can be done until they come home. That's all for now. You're dismissed."
Just when Hammond got up to leave, Walter rushed in with some important news. "Sir, Colonel O'Neill just radioed in. The plane has landed and their ETA is approximately half an hour. They'll report straight to the infirmary, sir.” After imparting his message, Walter took off like a shot before the general could dismiss him.
"Looks like someone else is eager for the boy’s return," General Hammond chuckled and then looked at his watch. "They made good time and are even ahead of schedule, despite what happened. Jack must have threatened the pilots to get the lead out. We have a little time before they get here, so why don't we all grab a quick bite to eat at the commissary? I hear the special of the day is Fruit Loops." Everyone broke out in laughter, which is exactly what the general intended. "Okay, people, let's go eat and after that we'll check out our vagabond little troupe," he finished. As they filed out of the briefing room, Hammond wondered if perhaps Jack would like a bowl of his favorite cereal waiting for him when he arrived.
"Colonel O'Neill, where the hell did he go now?" Doctor Fraiser asked in frustration.
If the colonel hadn't known her for as long as he did, he'd of sworn someone else inhabited her body. He had never heard her lose her cool before like that. Then again, she'd never been presented with this set of unusual circumstances.
The doctor did have a right to be upset. Since their arrival in the infirmary things hadn't gone accordingly. Danny got away from them and kept hiding out. He was good too, damn good! No one could locate his whereabouts. What got the colonel was the fact that the infirmary wasn't that big. How could you lose one small munchkin in it?
While O'Neill pondered the conundrums of newly miniaturized archaeologists, he scratched an itch on his rear. He almost jumped out of his skin, when a cold little hand latched onto his ankle. When the colonel looked down, he saw said hand peaking out from under a nearby bed. "Oh, for Pete's sake! Didn't anyone around here grow a brain and look under any of the beds? C'mere, sport." Colonel O'Neill gingerly bent and gently guided the little body carefully from underneath the metal bed.
Daniel clung to him like a leech. His chin rested on the colonel's shoulder while his breathing calmed down. His intelligent blue eyes took in his new surroundings.
"Where did you find him, sir?" Doctor Fraiser had been running around like a mad woman looking for their little trouble magnet. The good doctor was quite out of sorts as she approached them.
"You yo-yos should have looked under the beds," the colonel stated. He looked at the quiet bundle in his arms and whispered, “Yeah, kiddo, they're not too smart around here. I wouldn't trust em' either." O’Neill jostled the little tyke to get some sort of response, but Daniel just laid his head back on the colonel's solid shoulder. The events of the day caught up with the boy and the child’s eyelids became too heavy for him to keep open, finally drooping shut.
"Colonel, sir. Do you think Daniel has realized what's happened to him yet?" Doctor Frasier expected the unexpected to happen... it was in her job description. But this… this was inexplicable! The heart and soul of the SGC had been turned into this little scallywag, a cute scallywag at that. Still the problem remained of what to do. She hoped with all her heart that they didn't expect her to perform a miracle and voila! – Instant Daniel Jackson, available in adult sizes only at your nearest SGC.
"Hell, no! We don't even know what happened to him yet!" O’Neill snapped. "The kid hasn't even called me by my name. I don't think my little space monkey has all his brain cells in order just yet. Give him time to get re-acquainted with himself first, Doc. Remember, this just happened on the plane ride to the base, ya know. The kid's a certified genius. Mind you, I said certified not certifiable. He'll figure it out soon enough.”
Just as the doctor relieved Colonel O’Neill of his precious cargo, in walked General Hammond along with the others. "Welcome home, son. I see everyone is accounted for.” Walking over to the bed where Daniel was sleeping, the general looked down fondly and asked, “How's our boy doing?" Hammond directed his question to Doctor Fraiser.
"I honestly don't know yet, sir. He's been pretty non-verbal, communication wise. I was going to conduct several tests after he gets some rest," she answered.
"Janet, can I talk to him first?" Sam asked. She was afraid she wouldn't get to see her friend again if they took him away from her. Memories assailed her of how much she missed Daniel during his year of ascension.
"Sure, Sam. That is if he'll come out of hiding for a minute to say hi." Janet referred to the fact that as soon as the youngster woke up, he leapt from the bed and scampered over to stand behind Colonel O’Neill. It seemed the colonel was Daniel's comfort zone for now. Some things stayed the same.
Sam knelt on the floor near the colonel. "Honey, I won't hurt you. I just want to make sure for myself that you're okay. Well, as okay as you can be for your age, that is." She tried to coax Daniel from behind his protective shield. A shaggy blond head played peek-a-boo behind the silver-haired, not too shy, hero. "Oh, Daniel," Sam softly said upon seeing her miniature teammate and good friend looking out at her from overlong bangs. Oh, what a cutie pie, she thought. "I see you, eyes of blue," she told him in a gentle voice. He was a bit skittish and she didn't want to frighten him anymore than he already was.
"Do I know you?" Daniel shyly asked. His brain was feeling mish-mashed and he couldn't make heads or tails out of anything right now. He thought he knew the older, gray haired man who held him and kept him safe on the plane then carried him here. But he didn't remember his name. The lady doctor seemed nice and was vaguely familiar. But when he saw the blonde lady – Bingo! "SAM!" Daniel shouted out and was soon gathered in her outstretched arms.
"I should be irked right now, shouldn't I?” asked Colonel O’Neill. “What am I – Bad leftover pickins' from the commissary? You remembered her and not moi,” he said indignantly. “Who rescued your cute little ass in Honduras and brought you home, Danny? Sure ‘n hell wasn't Carter over there." O'Neill paused and thought about what he just said. "No offense, Carter."
"None taken, sir," she responded with a slight smile in turn as she hugged the living daylights out of Daniel.
The youngster looked back over at the irritated colonel. "JACK? You're Jack, right?" Daniel hesitantly asked and wriggled out of Sam's arms. He crossed back over to his old friend.
"What? You don't remember this smilin' old Irishman's mug?" Jack teased and knelt also to gather the boy back to him.
"I'm not sure," Daniel whispered. "I see faces floating in my mind and the names are all jumbled. I don't know who to match them up with. And I can't seem to remember who I belong to either. I do belong to somebody, don't I?" he asked with hope shining from his eyes. The child suddenly winced and said, "Jack, my head hurts.”
"I'd be surprised if it didn't hurt just a wee bit. Doc? I think this is your department now." The colonel laid Daniel on a gurney and the orderlies started to wheel the youngster away for his tests. "Wait up a second fellas." He walked back over to the little guy and picked up a very tiny hand. "No matter the outcome, peanut… you'll belong with me."
Daniel smiled up at him and squeezed the hand holding his own.
"Okay boys, you can take him now." Colonel O'Neill continued to watch until his young friend was out of his field of vision. "Uh, Doc? What's the first test you scheduled him for?" he asked.
"An MRI, sir," she answered.
"Why that? I don't believe there were any snakes there. Just a big, bad, crazy man wielding a big, bad machete. He wanted to cut up Daniel into itsy, bitsy pieces," the colonel informed her.
"I so didn't need to hear any of that, sir," Doctor Fraiser said looking extremely displeased.
"Sorry, Doc. It's been a rough couple of days," O'Neill apologized.
"You're forgiven – This time, sir." The doctor than went to follow her young patient.
Elsewhere in the infirmary, General Hammond asked a question of his staff. "Where's Burke? I'd like to give the man my thanks for his help in extracting our people." No sooner had the words left his mouth when the general's attention was caught by an unfamiliar voice.
"This is a crazy set up, man," Burke stated as he looked around while blowing out a bubble from his gum.
"General Hammond, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Agent Burke,” O'Neill announced and indicated the man slouched against a nearby wall cracking gum.
"Hi ya, General Hammond. Glad ta finally meet ya," Burke said and shook the commander’s hand.
"Likewise, son. I wanted to personally thank you for your help in the recovery mission of Doctors Jackson and Lee."
"No problemo. I was glad to help my good old buddy Jack anyway," Burke replied.
"Yeah, about that. General Hammond I need to talk to you concerning re-assigning Burke here," Colonel O'Neill said. He looked a little uncertain, while voicing his thoughts on the matter.
"By all means, Colonel O’Neill. We'll talk in my office later. In the meantime, let's try and concentrate on the Telchak device and see if we can fix Doctor Jackson's current problem."
When Hammond departed, the others talked amongst themselves. They tried to pool all their brain power together to come up with a solution for this most unusual predicament.
Coming up from behind, Burke laid a hand on the colonel's shoulder. "Thanks for that, Jack."
"You more than earned it, Burke. What with shooting the dead guys again and again and again. I started to feel like we were in a very bad B-movie like Night of the Living Dead," Jack weakly joked.
"Yeah, crazy right?" Burke added and cracked some more gum.
"Excuse me, gentlemen, for breaking in. But I wanted to speak with Colonel O’Neill for a moment,” said Jacob. “Jack, I feel damn bad about what's befallen Danny! All over that blasted Telchak device!" The Tok’ra operative looked beside himself with worry as did Teal'c and Carter.
"Thanks, Jacob. But none of this was your fault. And Daniel would be the first to agree with me on that," Jack told the older man.
"Indeed," Teal'c concurred.
Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a loud disturbance coming from the direction of the imaging room.
"Get Colonel O'Neill, stat! I can't help Daniel but maybe he can!" Doctor Fraiser shouted to her nurses.
One of the nurses nearly tripped over herself in her haste to find the colonel. If it wasn't so dire, the scene would have almost been comical. But right now it was far from amusing. "Colonel, sir! Come quickly! It's Doctor Jackson!" said Nurse Hartman. She was in a state of panic, so unlike her usual calm demeanor.
"Of course it is. It's always about Daniel," O'Neill said and stared up at the ceiling, like he was looking for divine intervention. When he looked back down, the nurse was still there, along with the panic still written all over her white face. He started to feel like he was on instant re-wind. The bad scenarios kept repeating and repeating with no improvement what-so-damn-ever! "What's wrong with the kid now?" he asked, his voice edged with worry and a little guilt at feeling sorry for himself.
"When he was getting an MRI done the equipment went haywire. Sparks flew from the machine, Doctor Jackson began glowing and then he started getting bigger," she explained, while they ran over to the testing area.
"Bigger? You mean he's re-aging again or are you saying that he's getting fat?" the not so clueless colonel asked.
"Sir! I'm very serious," Nurse Hartman snapped. The ice in her voice would have frozen over the base in ten seconds flat.
"So am I," Colonel O'Neill shot back and motioned her to move out of his way once they arrived at their destination. "Doc, what in the name of all that's holy happened this time?" O’Neill asked as he strode into the room.
"See for yourself, sir." Doctor Fraiser pointed toward the corner of the floor.
There huddled on the cold, tiled surface was their dazed, befuddled and beautiful archaeologist – In all his naked splendor. Daniel had goose bumps, the size of small eggs, all over him as a severe bout of shivering shook his well formed frame.
"For Christ's sake! Someone get Daniel a blanket or something to cover himself with. Snap to it, people!" Colonel O'Neill ordered. He looked down at his younger friend and made instant eye contact.
"Jack?"
"Daniel?"
"What happened? Last thing I remember was falling asleep on the plane." While he talked, Daniel looked around the small area he found himself in and knew immediately where he was. He and the infirmary were on intimate terms. What did I do this time? he thought. "How'd I get here?"
"Do you remember Honduras, the Telchak thingy and the guys from evil dead, as Burke dubbed them?” Jack questioned.
Hearing the mention of Jack's old comrade triggered some new memories for Daniel. "Yes, and I remember your friend Burke, too," Daniel replied. He was exhausted as well as cold and he pulled the comforter he’d been given tighter as another round of shivers overtook him.
"Too bad," Jack remarked. On seeing Daniel's puzzled look, he explained further. "It was a pathetic attempt at humor. Forget it. Anyway where were we? Oh yeah. See there was an accident...." Jack didn't bother to finish as he saw the young man’s brows dance up and down.
"Of course there was," Daniel responded not fazed at all. His life of late was one traumatic event after another.
"Tell ya what. I'll explain it to you over sushi?" Jack said with a straight face.
"Oh, good one," Daniel snorted and made a funny face back at his best friend.
"I thought so," Jack agreed, all the while looking smug as a bug in a rug.
While the two men talked, a nurse came in and handed Daniel some much needed clothing. He put the scrubs on quickly and just in time, too, as an audience gathered in the small area.
Teal'c, Sam, Jacob, plus the addition of Burke, made their way inside the room after receiving the all clear from Doctor Fraiser. It was a tight fit but they all managed to squeeze in.
"Holy Hannah!" Sam exclaimed.
"Hey Carter. What do you think changed Danny boy back?" Colonel O'Neill asked then thought better of it. Since she was his other resident genius, she had a knack for losing herself in techno-babble. Not something he wanted to hear at the moment.
"Just hazarding a guess, sir. But I'd assume something in the MRI's magnetic field counter-acted the effects of the Telchak device," she dumbed it down enough so that her commanding officer would understand it.
"Works for me," O'Neill said and looked at the rest of the group around him. They all wore the same stunned expressions. When he looked Doctor Fraiser's way, she just gave him a who me, what do I know kind of look.
Colonel O'Neill, upon seeing everyone gathered together, decided to make an announcement of his own. He clapped and rubbed his hands together in glee. "Okay, kids. We're gonna have a bar-b-que at my place in honor of Danny’s rescue and transformation."
The man of honor cringed. "Oh, lucky me," Daniel snarked while glaring at Jack.
"Yes, Daniel. Lucky big you," Jack reminded his friend. "I'm going to inform Hammond and see if he wants to come with too," the colonel continued.
Just before he left, Daniel had a question for him. "Where's the device now, Jack?"
"With Doctor Lee. Safe and sound, I hope," Jack answered cautiously.
"Jack, if no one has figured out how the Telchak device turned itself on and Bill has it…."
"Ohforcryinoutloud!" Jack exclaimed in understanding.
Daniel squirmed under his friend's glare but knew he was right. "I couldn't have said it better myself."
Sirens drowned out the rest of their words. Lights flashed off and on in the hallways, while Walter’s voice could be heard over the intercom system. "Emergency medical team to Doctor Lee's lab immediately. I repeat… Emergency medical team to Doctor Lee's lab."
Jack turned to Daniel.
Daniel held up a finger to silence his friend before an onslaught of verbal abuse met his ears. He walked over to Jack and threw an arm around the older man's shoulder. "You were saying something about a bar-b-que later?"
"I did? Yes, I did. About that… a bit pre-mature, don't ya think?" Jack asked.
"Just a bit. Why don't we take a walk over to Bill's lab and see what happened."
"Oh, must we?" Jack whined.
"Yes, we must." Daniel gave his pal a pat on the back and nudged his friend out the door.
"You know things like this should only happen on a television show. Don't ya think so, Danny?"
“I have news for you, Jack... they already do," Daniel told him with a wicked smile on his face.
"Damn! I never get my memos."
The End