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Pomni was still getting used to her body most days. She would wonder now and then if she'd wake up from this like it were some delirious dream. Maybe she had too much to drink, conked out and got some massive concussion on accident. That or some pretty serious brain damage. Was she the kind of person to be so irresponsible? Pomni hoped not, but if she were so antsy as to go and do something as out there as explore abandoned buildings... well, perhaps it's not too far off.
That thought process made her prone to spiralling a little, the muddled idea of herself before she put on the headset. She wasn't sure what she thought of her, whether she liked herself or not, if she thought of herself much at all. It felt like there was a line between that hypothetical self and the person Pomni thought she was now, but cracks in the line made them bleed together, and she'd be privy to old habits echoing who that stranger once was.
Sometimes it'd be absent tugging at her hat, tightening a pony tail that wasn't there, other times she'd move her fingers to the side of her face, adjusting air.
"You'd look cute with glasses." Ragatha had told her, when she saw it enough times to know what it meant.
Pomni had stuck her tongue out at her, ignoring the pink on her cheeks spreading until it claimed half her head. "You would say something corny like that."
The ragdoll had her own quirks, Pomni often noticed her tucking her hair behind nonexistent ears, or how she'd always made sure her hands folded neatly in front of her dress. There also seemed to be habits formed from being inside the circus for so long... like how she had the unfortunate habit of picking at her seams when she's particularly anxious, not helped by the fact that she often hugged her arms to soothe herself from the heavy feeling.
Now, Pomni holds those two mittens, rubs them with her own thumbs, before straddling herself on top of Ragatha more comfortably. Her 'friend' doesn't complain when she shifts closer to her face, red and blue gloves cupping linen cheeks, warmth emanating from the closeness.
"You're touchy today." Ragatha whispers, voice low. A bit shy.
"You're sad." Pomni counters. "Maybe every day. But especially today."
She's not given an immediate denial other than a snort, and maybe that's worrying in itself, but, at the very least she's not being pushed away. Ragatha hums, her one eye falling shut as she brings a hand to hold one of Pomni's on her face, leaning closer and closer. The jester would've likened her to the stray cats she used to feed on the streets, all that's missing was the purring. She was just as soft despite the lack of fur.
That hand stays in its position as Pomni continues mapping out her face, caressing the space beneath the plastic of her eye, at the odd black marks that imitated the wrinkles of human skin.
Being in the circus kinda felt like playing a shitty vr game, which, Pomni intelligently surmises, might be the point. The graphics sometimes didn't make sense, the most basic NPCs bugged out if you didn't follow the code of the conversation Caine programmed them to have, and she's still not comfortable going near cubes in fear of clipping through walls to find something she wasn't meant to see.
By far the most realistic thing was how much everyone's avatar reacted to everything. Cartoonish to an almost childish degree, yes, but it was equally fascinating as it was strange, to Pomni. She'd stared at a mirror once and tried touching her 'eyebrows', only for them to phase through. They weren't actually attached to her face, turns out, floating a few inches away as if bending reality just to make her expressions look appealing. The lines that appeared under her eyes whenever she felt a bit more negative, however, stuck to her skin like a pre-rendered part of her, and they hadn't held any type of texture besides rubber.
Similarly, the feigned creases on Ragatha's own face don't feel any different from the rest of her; tiny bumps of the burlap making up her cloth body, the plush easily giving way to the press of her fingers.
"This is so weird," Pomni mutters.
Ragatha opens an eye at that, sheepish, though she doesn't show any indication of wanting to move away. "Sorry, too much?"
"Oh no- that wasn't. I wasn't talking about you, Ragatha," Pomni pulls back, pretending her heart didn't want to burst out of her chest when the ragdoll follows the movement, whine tumbling out her lips. "I was just- it's so weird to feel things through my gloves."
"Oh." Ragatha says, distracted enough to stop pouting.
When she's given no other comment, Pomni continues to theorize out loud, "Since we can't really change clothes unless the adventure calls for it, does the circus just treat them as a part of our bodies?"
"That's somewhat true." Ragatha sits up, and Pomni moves to give her some space, watching as she sweeps a hand on her dress, fabric bouncing up now that no one was weighing it down. "I can't feel whenever someone touches my dress unless they tug on it." She grips it with a hand and lifts, showing a pair of white bloomers. "Since it technically doesnt stick to my legs, I guess they act like normal clothes and- why are you covering your eyes?"
Indeed, Pomni was covering her eyes. Somewhere beyond the heat flushing her cheeks red, she can also hear steam coming out of her ears. It was embarrassing, and super lame, borderline pathetic, really.
"Oh my god," Ragatha's voice is a pitiful squeak, and Pomni feels mildly better that she's just as mortified when she realizes what she's just done, "I am so sorry Pomni, I swear I didn't mean anything by it! I'm just so used to-"
Pomni shushes her with a frantic wave of her hands, that's too much information that would inevitably end with her head exploding. She can sort through those facts another time. "It's okay! I get it! Well, not really, I was just surprised is all! So," she coughs. "you were saying?"
The stop motion felt mouth of Ragatha wobbles for a couple seconds before she sighs. "I'm lucky enough to have this... body, I guess. I don't think it's too far off from my old one, even if I don't exactly remember what I looked like." her words soften at the end, heavy with forgotten memories.
"I could see you with freckles." Pomni supplies, as if it helps. "You'd look cute with them."
Maybe it does. Pomni decides she'd like to offer her help more often, if it means seeing this, as Ragatha giggles in her fluster and all the jester could do is stare dumbly, stupidly, smugness stretching her smirk so wide it's only a matter of time before hearts start floating all around them.