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Cat paces around her office in a dress a colour blue that reminds Kara of the ocean, and Kara tries not to see the irony of it – Cat talking about diving into deep waters, and Kara wanting nothing more than to dive into her.
Cat’s speech is impassioned, as her little pep talks are always prone to be – Kara is just used to hearing them as her other persona, perched on Cat’s balcony, not sat on one of the pristine couches in her office with her hands knotted together in her lap.
But then, the lines between her two identities when it comes to Cat have been blurring lately.
“We all get used to our personas, and we’re used to our own comfort zones, but trust me.” Cat’s eyes are locked on hers, dark and a little unfocused – Kara wonders how many drinks she’d had before Kara had strode into her office – an intensity to her words that makes Kara wonder who this conversation is for.
Whether it is for her, or whether Cat is trying to tell herself something.
It would certainly explain her odd behaviour lately – she hasn’t been the same since Myriad, since the world as they knew it had nearly ended, and Kara herself barely knows how to act around her, not when Cat had played such an integral part in saving the day.
Not after that damn hug.
She can almost still feel Cat’s arms around her, sometimes, the grasp of her fingers, tightly fisted in her cape.
She can still smell her perfume (the very same one that’s assaulting her senses right now, with Cat sat so close to her on the couch), hear the beating of Cat’s heart, feel the warmth of her, her body feeling almost fragile, cradled in her arms.
She thinks of Cat diving into something new, something that wasn’t here, in this office where Kara has learned so much, where she’s so close, and something twists in her chest, makes it feel like she can scarcely breathe.
“In order to live, we must keep daring.” The intensity of her words is in her eyes, and Kara definitely can’t breathe now, not with Cat looking at her like that, like she’s the only thing that matters in the world.
She thinks of what it would be like, to have Cat’s attention completely focused on nothing but her, and shivers slightly at the thought.
“Keep diving.” Cat’s eyes never leave her face and now she’s nodding like she’s expecting something and Kara wonders what the point of this is, what Cat’s trying to tell her, what she wants her to do, because Kara has no idea and all she really wants to do is lean over and kiss Cat senseless.
She chances a brief glance behind her – the office is empty, Cat’s new assistant being the only one left when Kara had slipped into this room, and she’d long since gathered up her belongings and sniffled her way to the elevators.
They’re alone, completely, and the last time that happened Kara had had Cat in her arms and she hasn’t forgotten a single second of that moment in the days since.
“Keep daring,” Kara repeats, with a nod of her own, and she watches Cat’s eyes flicker to her lips, hears the slight hitch in her breath when Kara shifts a little on the couch, leaning closer.
She thinks about the fact that Cat is no longer her direct superior, even if she is still her boss, thinks about the possibility that Cat might be gearing up to leave, thinks about James and the way he has never made her feel quite as alive as she does in that moment, with Cat close enough to reach out and touch.
She thinks about all of that and makes a decision – a decision to do something selfish, something reckless, something she never would have dared even just a few days ago, before everything for her had changed.
She’d thought she was going to die, as she was lifting Fort Rozz into the atmosphere, and Cat had been among the faces she’d seen when she closed her eyes.
“Keep diving,” Kara says, and Cat hums quietly, going still as Kara leans ever closer, close enough to feel Cat’s breath on her lips, and she ducks forward and kisses her before she can talk herself out of it.
It’s brief, barely any pressure at all, because Kara is terrified, despite the way she’s caught Cat staring at her sometimes – as both hero and assistant, like she can barely believe she’s real – that she’s just pushed things too far.
But she knows that Cat would never make the first move, is too much of a stickler for propriety, would never risk her career, Kara’s career or a sexual harassment suit by making a move even if she wanted to.
Judging from the way Cat’s breath catches and her heart hammers hard in her chest as Kara’s lips brush against hers, Kara thinks she’s wanted to for a long, long time.
“Like this?” Kara asks the question against Cat’s lips, looks up at Cat through her lashes, and it sounds far more innocent that it has any right to be, considering she’s leaning over Cat’s body and wants nothing more than for the other woman to tangle a hand in her hair, push her onto her back, and kiss her silly.
“Kara,” Cat breathes, but there’s something wary in her eyes. “I don’t know what this is - ”
“It doesn’t have to be anything,” Kara tells her, voice soft. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” It might kill Kara, but to have one chance at a night with Cat, even if it’ll never happen again? Rao, she’d take it in a heartbeat. “It doesn’t even have to happen – I can stand up and I can leave and we can pretend that this never happened. Although,” Kara pauses, slides her tongue over her bottom lip and nearly whimpers when Cat’s eyes follow the movement closely, “I really hope you don’t choose that option.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because I want this.” She reaches out with shaking fingers to rest a hand on Cat’s knee – her skin is warm to the touch, and she hears Cat’s heart race in response.
“Why? Why now?”
“Your speech inspired me.” Cat’s lips quirk into a wry smile. “Because everything in my life feels like it’s spinning out of control and the only thing that I know that I want is… is you. In whatever way you’ll let me.”
Cat groans softly at the quiet words, and this time she’s the one to initiate a kiss, though this one is anything but chaste – she slides her hand around Kara’s neck and she sucks on Kara’s bottom lip and at the first teasing touch of her tongue Kara moans.
She can taste the scotch on Cat’s tongue and she’s instantly intoxicated, never wants to do anything other than this for the rest of her life.
Cat kisses her like it’s a challenge, like she has something to prove, like she wants to completely ruin her, and oh, Kara is more than willing to let her.
By the time Cat pulls away Kara is breathless and her heart is pounding, and she’s sure there’s a dazed look on her face as her eyes meet Cat’s once more.
Hers are darker than Kara has ever seen them, and her fingertips are still resting on Cat’s knee – feeling daring, remembering to keep diving, Kara inches them a little higher, splays her palm across the skin of Cat’s thigh, watches Cat’s lips part in a gasp and her eyes flutter at the contact.
“We should talk about this,” Cat murmurs, though her eyes are fixed on Kara’s lips.
“We probably should,” Kara agrees, but she reaches with her free hand for the glass that Cat still clutches with her right, pries it free and leans away to set it gently on the table. “But we don’t have to.”
“What about James?”
“We broke up.”
“Did you even go on a single date?”
“Does that matter right now?” Kara huffs, and slides her hand higher, if only to hear the hitch in Cat’s breathing. “I’m here with you. I don’t see why we should be talking about anyone else.”
“Because last I knew you were pining after him and now you’re in here kissing me. Which is… surprising.”
“You were the one who told me about the lighthouse technique. Maybe I always wanted to be in here kissing you but I was too scared to admit it.” Cat hums. “Maybe I wanted him because I knew I’d never be able to have you.”
“And now?”
“Well, you haven’t kicked me out yet.” Kara shifts, and Cat gasps when she throws a leg over Cat’s lap, straddling her hips and settling her weight on Cat’s thighs. “I figure maybe I do have a chance, after all.”
“Brazen.”
“You told me you liked the way that looked on me,” Kara murmurs, and her eyes close when Cat’s hands settle at her hips and smooth down her thighs, reaching her knees and then sliding back up again – but under the hem of her skirt, this time.
Kara whimpers at the way Cat’s fingers feel, gliding over bare skin, the muscles in her thighs quivering, and Cat makes a pleased noise in the back of her throat.
“I did,” Cat agrees, and her voice is husky and Kara can feel the heat of Cat’s body all around her, opens her eyes and settles one hand on the back of the couch, if only to keep herself grounded, the feeling of the leather beneath her fingers reminding her that is real, that this isn’t just another dream. “I just wasn’t quite expecting…” Cat trails off, runs her eyes in a slow trail from Kara’s neck and down to her thighs, “this.”
“It… it’s not a bad thing though, right?” Kara’s earlier confidence quails in the face of Cat’s close scrutiny, and she’s half-ready to flee the office until Cat lifts one of her hands and presses it to the small of Kara’s back, encouraging her to lean forward.
“No, Kara,” Cat murmurs, and Kara nearly whimpers again because she’s spent two years wishing Cat would say her name and now she does it casually and hearing it like this? Breathless and wanting, Cat’s lips mere inches from her own?
It’s perfection.
“It’s not a bad thing.” That is whispered against her mouth before Cat is kissing her again, and Kara can’t help but smile into it, can feel happiness and ecstasy bubbling up inside of her, curls one hand around Cat’s jaw and slides her thumb along Cat’s cheek, scarcely able to believe that she’s doing this, that she’s able to reach out and touch.
Cat’s skin is soft and warm and Kara’s fingertips tremble because this is Cat and she’s equal parts exhilarated that this is happening and terrified that she’s going to do something wrong.
But then Cat’s nails are digging into her thigh and the palm of her other hand is sliding up Kara’s spine, pressing against her shoulderblades to bring her closer, like she knows that Kara’s overthinking this.
And then Cat’s lips leave hers to trail over her jaw, her kisses hot against the side of Kara’s neck, and when her tongue slips between her lips to taste Kara’s skin, Kara stops thinking altogether.
“Cat,” she breathes when Cat nips at the base of her neck, and even though Kara can’t feel the sting the pressure of it is enough to make her rock her hips, and she wants the moan that Cat exhales against her skin in response to be replayed in her mind every day for the rest of her life.
“I don’t recall giving you permission to use my name,” Cat says, but her voice is shaky and Kara can feel the smirk that’s on her lips as she swirls her tongue in the hollow of her throat, and Kara cries out again and is lost to thoughts of what Cat’s tongue would feel like doing that elsewhere on her body.
She aches at the possibilities.
“Would you prefer Miss Grant, instead?” Kara calls on some of her earlier bravado, and gets a sharp bite delivered to her shoulder in response.
“Don’t get cocky,” Cat warns, though Kara swears she sees a flash of pride in Cat’s eyes when she leans back, dragging her hand from Kara’s back and around her side – her thumb brushes the underside of Kara’s breast and she gasps.
Cat’s teeth sink into her bottom lip, her eyes dark as she watches Kara’s face, and Kara meets her gaze and doesn’t let her eyes close even when Cat cups her breast fully, thumb teasing her nipple and Rao if that’s how good it feels through the material of her dress and her bra then she might not survive Cat touching bare skin.
Cat’s eyes are hazy and her cheeks are flushed, her lips reddened and her hair – always with each strand carefully held in place – is mussed.
Kara has travelled across space, been to many planets and explored the galaxy, but nothing she’s seen before in her life can compare to the beauty of Cat in that moment.
She wants to tell Cat that, wants to tell her she’s one of the most perfect things she’s ever seen, but that isn’t what this is.
This isn’t the time for declarations.
It’s the time to give into the attraction that’s been simmering between them for as long as Kara can remember, time to touch and to taste and to feel.
Everything else can come later.
If there is a later for them.
Kara isn’t sure, but she is sure that if there isn’t, then she needs this. She needs this one night with Cat, to familiarise herself with the body of the woman that haunts her dreams.
Judging from the longing in Cat’s eyes as her fingers slide to toy with Kara’s cardigan, she thinks that this is something that Cat needs, too.
“You can take it off,” Kara tells her, when Cat hesitates, tugging the material down only far enough to expose Kara’s shoulder. “I… I want you to.” She whispers that, like it’s a secret, like it’s not perfectly obvious that she wants Cat’s hands on every inch of her skin – desire flashes through Cat’s eyes, and Kara catches her breath at the visible reaction, the evidence that Cat may be just as affected by this as she is. “I need you to.”
“Kara…” Cat breathes it like a sigh, and Kara wants to hear it a thousand times more. “I’m not sure that this,” she jerks her head, indicating the office and its glass walls – the bullpen might be empty, but if anyone comes back for anything, there’s no hiding what they’re doing, “is the place for this.”
Panic seizes at Kara’s heart, because she thinks that if they stop, if they retire to Cat’s apartment, then nerves and doubts will start to creep in, for both of them, and they’ll never get back to this moment, on the cusp of something Kara wants desperately.
“Why not? There’s no-one else here.” Kara tilts her head and listens, just to check, but the only movement she can hear is from three floors down.
“You don’t know that.”
“What… what if I did?” It’s a leading question, because they don’t talk about the elephant in the room, ever. Kara’s sure that Cat knows her secret, and she’s also pretty sure that Cat knows that Kara’s aware of that fact, but they still tiptoe the line, and there’s never been a revelation.
Kara probably owes it to Cat, after Myriad.
She’s just yet to find the words.
Cat’s eyes narrow into slits, and her hands drop back down to her sides, and Kara can barely breathe because she thinks she’s just managed to ruin this.
“We’re going to talk about that later,” is all she says, her voice a warning, but then her hands are reaching for Kara’s shoulders and yanking the cardigan down and off. “And if you’re wrong, and someone stumbles across us - ”
“Then we’ll give them a show,” Kara murmurs, reaching for the zipper of her dress – she can’t pull it all the way off, not unless she clambers from Cat’s lap and she has no intention of doing that anytime soon – letting it fall to her waist, her breasts covered only by the simple white bra she’d donned that morning.
She reaches behind her, fingers shaking, and undoes the clasp, letting it fall to the floor, transfixed by the way Cat’s throat works as she swallows, eyes dropping to Kara’s chest.
“I don’t know what’s come over you in the past hour,” Cat says, her voice quiet, and she takes both hands and drags them from Kara’s hips and up, sliding over her ribcage and the touch is deliberate but torturously slow and Kara’s back arches, breathless with anticipation, “but I think I like it.”
“It was you,” Kara breathes, her eyes closing as Cat’s hands finally, finally reach her breasts. “Y-you made me brave. You always have.”
Cat touches her carefully, with something like reverence, and then Kara moans and the spell is broken, and Cat catches both nipples between thumb and forefinger and tugs and Rao Kara feels like she’s flying.
Her head falls back and her hands scramble for the back of the couch, and when Cat ducks her head forward to take a nipple between her teeth Kara cries out, thinks she might be leaving imprints in the leather but oh, it feels too good for her to care.
Cat teases her with nips of her teeth and swirls of her tongue, and when Cat sucks Kara’s hips jerk and she breathes out a stuttered curse in Kryptonian before she can even think.
Cat falters, but she doesn’t stop, and Kara thinks that her secret is well and truly out now.
She’s pretty sure that tonight is going to be worth it.
The next time she slips and says Cat’s name – though it’s more of a whine, shaky and needy – it’s when Cat is pressing a biting kiss to the side of one of her breasts like she’s desperate to leave a mark, while one of her hands is hot on the bare skin of Kara’s thigh.
“Mm, I think I changed my mind.” Cat says the words against her skin, her breath hot, and she leans back so that she’s settled against the couch as she slides her fingers higher along Kara’s inner thigh. “I like hearing you say my name like that.”
Kara’s eyes flutter open to find Cat watching her with something like fascination, and she whimpers when Cat’s fingers brush against her soaked underwear – Cat groans at discovering the evidence of Kara’s arousal, teases her with the stroke of two fingers and Kara already feels like she’s ready to fall apart.
“Cat.” This time it’s a moan, and Cat’s appreciation is clear in her eyes. “P-please, I need…”
“What do you need, Kara?” Cat prompts when Kara is unable to finish the thought, her voice low and her eyes dark. “You’re excellent at following orders, at satisfying my every whim and want.” Cat’s still teasing her through her underwear, fingers finding Kara’s clit and circling – it’s maddeningly slow and so not enough, but when Kara tries to rock her hips to chase the feeling, Cat halts her with a hard grip on Kara’s waist that would be bruising on anyone else.
It isn’t enough to stop her, would take very little effort at all for her to shake off Cat’s hand, but instead, she goes still.
She swears she hears Cat groan softly in approval.
“You’ve always been excellent at it, always been so very good.” She accompanies that with a harder circle of her fingers, and Kara’s eyes slam shut, a whimper getting caught in the back of her throat as she feels a rush of warmth between her thighs. “But now I want you to tell me what you want. Let me take care of you, Kara. I daresay you deserve it.”
“I… I want you to touch me.” Kara’s never been good at this, can barely even think the words of what she really wants, let alone say them out loud, keeps her eyes firmly closed as she feels her cheeks burn.
“Like this?” Cat’s voice is teasing, almost amused, fingers still stroking Kara slowly, barely even touching her at all.
“N-no.” Kara takes a deep breath, shifts to let go of the back of the couch with one hand and slides that same hand down her front.
She hears Cat catch her breath as Kara pushes her underwear down her thighs, unwilling to move enough to take them off completely, before she cups the back of Cat’s hand, still between her thighs.
She tangles their fingers together and drags their joined hands up, until Kara can feel her own slickness on her fingertips, until Cat is cupping her fully, her palm pressed against Kara’s clit.
“Like this,” she tells Cat, forcing her eyes open to meet Cat’s, which are wide and so dark that she can barely see any green, and she can’t help but grind her hips down because Rao that feels amazing.
“Jesus, Kara.” Kara lets her hand fall away, lets Cat take control, which she does immediately – she isn’t teasing anymore, slips two fingers inside without preamble and Kara groans at the way it feels, to know that it’s Cat who’s pressing into her, Cat who’s all around her, Cat who’s curling her fingers and making her see stars.
Cat who’s reaching for Kara’s wrist with her free hand, lifting Kara’s to her lips and sucking slick fingers into her mouth, chasing the taste of Kara with her tongue.
Rao this woman is going to be the death of her.
Kara grinds her hips, pulling Cat deeper, and her palm is pressed against her clit and her tongue is teasing the tips of Kara’s fingers and she imagines that that would feel like there, instead, and she comes with a cry of Cat’s name, and there will definitely be a hand-shaped imprint in the leather of the couch come morning.
Kara’s pretty sure that Cat won’t mind that at all.
“Oh my god,” Kara breathes when Cat slips her fingers free, and then she whimpers when those disappear into Cat’s mouth, too. “That was… wow.”
“Very articulate.” But there’s a smile on Cat’s lips, a smile that Kara wipes away with a heated kiss, her hands finally daring to explore more of Cat’s body – at least until Cat stops her with a gentle touch against her wrist.
She freezes, and she pulls back, and she wonders if this is the end.
Cat rolls her eyes when she sees the expression on Kara’s face.
“Drop the kicked puppy look,” she tells her, but the words are soft, not stern. “I’m not stopping you. At least, not fully. But I’d rather like to get you completely out of this dress,” she toys with the hem of it, bunched up around Kara’s thighs, “and I’d like to get out of my own, too.”
Kara’s mouth goes dry at the thought – she doesn’t know if she’ll survive the sight of a naked Cat Grant but Rao, she can’t wait to try.
“Which cannot happen here, so.” Cat drops her hands back to Kara’s knees, stares up at her with a knowing look. “Are you satisfied yet that I do actually want this and the moment isn’t going to pass if we hit pause for long enough to get to my penthouse suite, or do you need another orgasm to prove it?”
Kara bites the inside of her cheek to hide a smile, because of course Cat would know exactly what worries were playing on her mind.
“N-no. I’m good.”
“Excellent.”