Chapter Text
The evening air was finally hitting, it was the start of spring but the winter breeze still lingered when the sun began to set. Less cars were on the street, everyone finally making it home after a long day of work or whatever people did during the day. Street lights were finally turning on illuminating the roads as they started to become dark, an old light pole flickered it’s light not having any maintenance on it for probably months. The sidewalk made a sharp hiss as he made his way down, his jacket wrapped tight around him, he’s always been sensitive to the cold. But he kept walking down the shady roads he became too familiar with, the old homeless guy stood always on the same spot, never really doing much just standing there probably nodding off on some drug.
He walked past him giving him a small nod but not receiving one back, it was normal almost a routine. He kept walking, houses now turning to run down businesses, some had been closed down for years never opening back up, others looked like they were barely holding on. He passed by a couple of bars some people standing outside smoking a cigarette not giving him a second glance, it was normal. Here you never made eye contact with anyone unless you wanted a good fist to the jaw, something he learned the hard way.
Finally he saw the building he was looking for, an old strip club. It’s light flickered with some missing, the name of the club ‘Pucker’ was in bright neon pink, wanting to attract the attention. Some old dude stood outside waiting for the doors to open while the security guard stood outside, he always forgot the dudes name, he was tall and buff, and he always had a scowl on his face, never really making conversation with anybody. The last guard was let go because of a fight that resulted in him getting stabbed, the owner decided it would be best if he didn’t come back.
He made it to the door only giving the security guard a nod before opening the door to step in. Inside it was colder, the lights were off only neon lights were there to give a bit of light, there were booths tucked in the left side while on the right there was a big bar, on the far left corner there was stages with poles scattering around. The floor all carpet which he hated because the cleaning was a pain in the ass but he wouldn’t complain not if he wanted to keep his job.
He started to make his way to the back rooms so he could put his things away, an old back pack with some goofy drawings on it. As he made his way the girls room door suddenly swung open “right on time c’mer I wanna show you something” a short girl with long black hair had said grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside the room before he could protest, she wore a red robe that looked expensive but he knew it wasn’t.
“Ohh Hyunjin so good to see you baby how are you?” Another girl said happily, she was slightly more taller and she wore only a bra and lacy underwear “I’m good Min and you?” He asked back only keeping his eyes on her face “I’m great thank you for asking!” She smiled then turned back to do her hair. He was yanked back to start walking “you don’t have to be so rough” he snapped at the girl who still had a grip on his wrist “I know but I need to show you something” the girl responded back with a small grin on her face.
Park Nina, 25 years old, a girl raised in the most shadiest neighborhoods, a girl with addict parents who barely even knew she existed. Was forced to live with her grandparents until the age of 16 when she ran away and started working on the streets, she never heard from her family again. Her hair was something Hyunjin was always jealous of, it was long and dark, her hair always swayed with her movements making her look beautiful when she danced.
They make it to a back corner of the room where all her things are scattered, she grabbed a backpack and shoves it towards him “what exactly do you want me to do with this?” He asks with a raised eyebrow still holding the bag, she rolls her eyes “open it obviously” she hisses and he does just that opting out of fighting with her because he knows it’ll do him no good. When opens it his mouth drops to the floor looking up at her with shocked eyes “where’d you get this?” He whispers to her making her grin “you remember that drug dealer I met at the other club? He asked me to do some business here” inside the bag were bags of different kinds of narcotics, pills, 8ball, anything anybody could think of.
He wasn’t new to this, far from it actually, having been in the streets for a long time made him change, drugs were normal to him too normal. He’s done a few with Nina but he knows she practically lives off of them, that’s how they met.
She had been high out of her mind on a drug she still wouldn’t tell him, they had crossed paths when he saw her stumbling down the road. He had just left school when he saw her walking down tripping over her own feet, she used to be skinnier, she looked worn down wearing practically nothing just a baggy shirt with really short shorts. He had felt bad for her and approached her, when he had suggested to take her to the hospital she had immediately refused so instead he took her to his place. He knew his mother wasn’t around and his father was basically nonexistent so it wouldn’t have been a problem.
Things were blurry after that, apparently he had gotten high off of the same thing she did after offering him some, something close to comfort settled in him after meeting her. A friendship had blossomed, a toxic one. He never tried getting sober after that, his life was falling apart and he found someone to hang onto, life at school wasn’t any different.
Now he’s forgotten everyone’s face, his old classmates, his old friends, all seem to be blurry. He knows he hurt alot of people because of his drug abuse but he really can’t remember much of it, and that puts him at ease, knowing that nobody knows how he ended up. Sure he slowed down on the drug intake but sometimes he can’t help but binge on it, wanting to stay days high.
“So how are you gonna sell it?” He asks closing up the bag still holding it, Nina grins at him coming closer to whisper something to him “there’s a couple of customers that live off this shit shouldn’t be too hard to sway them into buying them” she perks her boobs up with her hands trying to get her point across. He shakes his head at her, not because of the move she just pulled but because he knows this will end up badly.
Nina was someone that chased the adrenaline, just how she lived off the drugs she practically needed adrenaline to stay alive ‘the feeling that one day you might die and just getting nicked by death is what I chase’ she had told him once while they were getting ready to jump someone. He wasn’t one to really chase that adrenaline, he liked knowing that he was safe in his own bubble but every time Nina suggested doing something life threatening he couldn’t help but agree. That’s how this friendship was toxic. Saying no to her was hard, he knew she was pressuring him to do things but it didn’t make it any easier to say no to her, they had gotten themselves in trouble so many times he knew he has a criminal record too long for anybody to read and it was all because of her.
He had met her ex a couple of times, sometimes he wishes he hadn’t met him at all. He’d seen the manipulation that went on in the relationship, Nina had basically forced this man into addiction. Nina was violent with her ex, if she didn’t get what she wanted she’d make the whole house a mess, screamed her lungs out on how it was his fault she had dropped out of school, how everything wrong in her life was because of him.
She never made him forget it and hyunjin knew that’s how she kept her ex with her. But he had died of a drug overdose ‘what a fucken idiot’ is all Nina had said when she had packed her bags to leave the run down house but hyunjin had felt bad for him, he had told hyunjin that he had to leave Nina unless he wanted to end up dead. But he was too dependent on her, he couldn’t just leave her.
Nina was like a drug to him, out of all the drugs he had ever tried he just couldn’t get sober with her. Every time he tried it’s like she knew and would just drag him back to her, sometimes they fought over it but each time she got in his face to yell at him he’d back off, he never wanted her to stay mad at him.
After her ex’s death they moved in together in a small apartment it was big enough for just them, it’s not like they spent a lot of time in the apartment anyways. They had both tried to live off of robbing people or even selling some dope here and there but it wasn’t enough so they had decided to look for a job together. By coincidence the old strip club was looking for dancers and a bar tender, he didn’t have much experience but the owner was desperate for a bar tender so he gave him the job.
As for Nina she had experience working at strip clubs but the owner had been hesitant with her, she had obvious signs of malnourishment because of her drug abuse but she had somehow convinced him, hyunjin didn’t want to know the details of it, and they were both hired at just the age of twenty one.
“Alright lady’s club is about to open in ten minutes wrap up whatever your doing and start heading to your position” the madam had came into the dressing room, she was the one in charge of all the dancers. She made sure they all made a good amount of money not just for them but also to pay out the club, she was sweet probably the nicest madam he’d meet since working here but just how she was nice she could also be mean especially to the new girls.
“Oh hyunjin what are you doing here?” Setting the bag down he bowed to her “I came in to say hi to Nina madam” he responded respectfully to her “ahh okay well you should probably head out now to get the bar set up” she said kindly coming over to rub his back “oh have you aten yet? Every time I see you it’s like your getting skinnier” she worriedly expresses “I brought some pizza it’s in the break room eat whenever you get the chance” she says before turning to Nina patting her head softly “and you get dressed you have ten minutes” she says before turning to speak to another dancer.
“Yes madam” Nina responds before turning to hyunjin again “go eat you haven’t aten yet I’ll see you on the floor” she smiles at him then turns to finish getting dressed, moments like these is when he appreciated her. She could be mean at times but deep down she always seemed to have a soft spot but he knew I’d be soon before her whole demeanor would change. Sometimes he wondered if she had some type of mental health problem, he had wanted to bring it up to her but he knew it was just an easier and legal way for her to get more drugs, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if one day he walked into the apartment and found her dead.
Nodding back at her, he turned to walk out the dressing room while hearing the madam bicker with another dancer. Finally out the room he made his way to his locker in the back stuffing his old raggedy backpack and shutting it softly, then he made his way to the bar to set up for the night.
The strip club had always been in a more shady part of town so it was never as busy as the owner wanted it to be, all the regular customers stopped by some people he didn’t recognize but all they did was look around then walk out. This had been his life for the past five years and he didn’t think I’d get better or if it would ever change, even if he dreamed of it.
Before he could mope on his feelings a customer came to the bar “let me have a beer” the guy looked around 40, he came every once in a while always dressed in a button up shirt and slacks, never made any scenes and just stayed to himself, drank four beers max then left. Grabbing a house beer he popped it open and handed it back to him “should I open a tab for you tonight?” He asks the man which in return he responds by giving a small nod and handing his card towards hyunjin, taking it with a soft smile he puts the information in then turns back to the man “I’ll hold your card for you please let me know when you wish to close it” and just like that the interaction was over.
The rest of the night went on the same, never really having conversation with any of the customers and just having small but quick interactions. Every once in a while the owner or the madam would come and check on him but then run off after hearing that the dancers were arguing in the back, the night was simple, the way he liked it.
He was too focused on whipping down the bar he didn’t notice anybody walking up until he heard a soft ‘excuse me?’ The music wasn’t as loud but it was loud enough where if the person wasn’t right in front of him he wouldn’t have heard them. Looking up he was met with a nice looking man ‘young man?’ He thought, he had medium long blond hair that he knew was dyed by the roots already showing, big doe eyes and freckles that splattered all over his face, Hyunjin could admit he looked pretty handsome.
He wore a black t-shirt and some ripped jeans with what looked like white sneakers, he definitely looked like someone who wouldn’t even look twice at the run down strip club in the middle of a bad neighborhood ‘yeah he doesn’t belong here’ hyunjin thought again “how can I help you?” He asked anyways not wanting to be rude “do you happen to have a phone? My car broke down just outside the building and my phone ironically died as well..” he gave a nervous laugh scratching the back of his head, hyunjin raised an eyebrow at him looking him up and down definitely judging.
“Uhh yeah there’s a pay phone right on that corner, you can use that one” hyunjin pointed out making the young man turn to look and smile “thanks!” He said before walking away, hyunjin just bowed his head then turned back to the bar. All he could do was shake his head “if he doesn’t hurry his tires might be gone by the time he leaves” he whispers to himself, suddenly a song he’s familiar with starts playing making him look up.
Forgetting the weird interaction he just had he focuses on the stage, Nina was about to go on, he’s always loved her performances they always looked so good. She looked beautiful every time she danced, she flowed so well with the music and she always made sure to make eye contact with the audience. After the whole incident with her ex she had managed to gain some weight back finally filling her up in all the right places.
It’s no wonder she always had alot of customers, she wasn’t afraid to do anything with them, sometimes he was scared she might end up hurt but she always told him he worried too much.
The performance ended and all he could do was smile at her, money was thrown on the stage and she picked it up with a swift motion then made her way off the stage “wow she was really good” someone said beside him making him jump a bit at the sudden broken silence, he turned to see that it was the same young man who had asked for the phone earlier ‘how long had he been there?’ Hyunjin questioned to himself, the young man turns to look at him giving him a big smile “she looked very beautiful on the stage, I’m not one to go to strip clubs but man she’s definitely the best one I’ve seen” he blabbers on making hyunjin freeze on the spot.
Nobody has ever made conversation with him unless it was his coworkers or Nina herself, but anybody else wouldn’t even bother to look at him twice ‘he definitely shouldn’t be here’ hyunjin thought “did you need something else?” He asks trying to get his point across that he doesn’t want a conversation but it seems like the young man didn’t catch what he was throwing at him “oh no I’m just waiting for my friend to come pick me up, I’m Felix by the way!” He cheerfully says, hyunjin wasn’t one to really give out his real name like that, he knew the dangers that could bring so he gave a small smile and responded back “Jin nice to me you” he turns to focus on something else not wanting to continue the conversation.
But it looks like the young man wasn’t done with him “you know you kinda look familiar! You remind me of a friend I had in high school…” suddenly his voice drops almost as if he was remembering something “I miss him.. a lot” hyunjin turns to look at him again seeing a far away look on his face like he was remembering something sad before Felix could continue he gets a small nudge on his side making him turn to see who it is “hey Jin can you give me some water?” It was Nina who was still wearing her stage outfit but just had a robe draped on her.
Smiling he turns to hand her a cup of water full of ice just how she liked it, giving a small nod she takes it and start drinking “oh! Your the dancer that was just on you looked amazing” Felix says completely changing his demeanor, making Nina look at him with frowned eyebrows. If hyunjin could be judgemental Nina could be worse than him, she didn’t mind making conversation with customers unless they were paying but she could see Felix wasn’t one to pay for services so to her he wasn’t worth waisting her breath.
All she did was give a small thanks before returning to her water “I’m gonna go to the rooms now time to make extra cash” she gives a grin to hyunjin handing back the glass and walking away not sparing Felix a second glance. Turning to look at Felix he could see Felix really wanted to talk to Nina but hyunjin knew it would be useless, making him feel bad he tried giving an excuse “sorry about that she’s not really a conversation person unless your you know paying for it” Felix then turns to him and gives him a smile “I get it but make sure you tell her she looked very beautiful” he tells him making hyunjin give a nod back.
Although Hyunjin wasn’t a big conversation person he did feel bad when others did try talking to him and he wouldn’t even bother giving a proper answer, not like it was common for him to have so many people talk to him but when they did he just couldn’t make conversation. He doesn’t remember when it started but he guesses it was after high school, he can’t really remember much of his high school life all those drugs really made him have a bad memory.
“I wanted to tell you! How much you look like an old friend” Felix continues on, it catches hyunjin off guard because just a second ago Felix had looked sad thinking about that friend but now he looked happy “can I ask what high school you graduated from?” Now hyunjin did know how to respond, he can’t remember his high schools name, it’s been years since he’s thought of it and it’s no like he really finished high school “I- sorry I can’t remember…” hyunjin responds back and he could visibly see Felix deflate by his answer “I’m sorry- I just can’t remember the name it’s been so long-“ and even though it has been long it’s not just that.
Back then he didn’t care much about anything other than the drugs he consumed, his memories of when he was young are now blurry, just people with blurry faces, somehow he can remember someone with a blurry face crying, someone clutching his shirt so tight he could still feel it, someone pulling him into a tight hug not wanting to let go even though he was trying hard to pull away, and him walking away turning his back on seven blurry faces. He knows his drug addiction hurt alot of people from his past, he knows that at some point he was the one who ruined everything but he can’t remember what he had done. At some point something had gone wrong, he was too high to even remember but he knew it had been bad.
It brings him comfort not knowing, something in him settles down every time he realizes that he can’t remember anything and what he had done is now forgotten by his constant consumption of hard drugs. He can’t remember the abuse he had endured in his childhood home, he doesn’t even know how he had left, how everything he once knew had just been erased. All he knows now is Nina, the only person who stuck around long enough.
“Oh no worries! It’s just that- sorry I keep bringing it up-“ Felix looks sheepish as he scratches the back of his head “but you look like an old friend I had in school, he- he had left before graduation though..” that far away look was now in his eyes “I wish- we could’ve done something to help him back then.. I never realized how bad things were getting until you know things just shifted” Felix took in a deep breath before letting out “our Innie was so sad when he left my god it took months before he finally stopped crying his eyes out-“ he huffs out a laugh that holds no real humor behind it “when we had gone to his house he had apparently ran away at least that’s what his mom had said but when we went back the home was up for sale and we never saw him again” his eyes looked sad, hyunjin could see that this friend really meant the world to Felix, it wasn’t his business though.
“I just.. hope he’s okay and got the help that he needed” hyunjin looks away then, something tightens in his chest just looking at Felix look so sad, flashes of those blurry faces cross his mind but he shakes his head to remove them, he doesn’t care anymore “sorry! My god I got a bit sentimental with you! It’s my friends birthday that’s why I guess I’m being a bit emotional right there” Felix says letting out a laugh making hyunjin side eye him ‘weird dude’ he thinks and before he could respond he hears a commotion coming from the private rooms.
Turning his head fast he sees Nina run out one of the rooms holding her lacy bra with her arm trying to cover herself “you asshole I said no! Security!” She yells out making hyunjin completely forget about Felix and rush towards Nina “drunk ass someone get him out of here” she yells again, the madam and the owner come rushing out followed by three security guards. Hyunjin stops right next to her looking up and down to see if she had any injuries and she did, she had a small cut on her cheek “Nina what happened?!” He asks worried grabbing her shoulders to turn her around “this asshole wanted to live out his weird kink fantasy and pulled a knife out on me!” She yells back turning to look at the room again as they pull the man out.
“You fucken asshole! I’ll kill you for what you did!” She screams making her way towards him but hyunjin stops her “hey hold up we need to get you cleaned up” he starts pulling her towards the girls room but she pushes him off “no! I want this asshole dead! Give me a bottle I’ll smash his head open” she rushes towards him again but then the madam step in “Nina enough, go to the girls room and get dressed let the girls clean you up” she says with authority in her voice but Nina persist “but- this asshole-“ before she could finish the madam cuts her off “I said that’s enough now go!” She yells at her.
Nina pauses with a shocked face before it turns into anger clenching her free hand “this is bullshit” she whispers then turns around and walks away to the girls room “hyunjin dear go follow her please and make sure she calms down” the madam turns to him now “yes madam” he bows and turns to follow her.
Leaving the scene behind him not knowing Felix had been watching the whole thing unfold “hyunjin…?” Felix whispers to himself shocked at what he heard, suddenly someone taps his shoulder snapping him out of this thoughts, he turns to see a family face “you’re here!” He happily exclaims as he gets off the chair to hug the new comer “took you long enough Chris” he laughs “I’ve been stuck here for a while” he whines making his friend laugh “well who told you to come all the way out here? This place is shady” his friend starts pulling him to the exit “you know why..” Felix responds in a whisper making Chris turn to look at him “I know but next time tell me so you don’t come alone” Chris tells him making Felix nod his head “I brought Minho and innie with me so come on” Felix then rushes to the door excited to see his other friends “innies with you? It’s been a while since he’s been busy with school and work!” He says happily finally stepping out of the hot building.
“Yeah he had some free time” Chris says as they make their way to the car noticing his was gone “I called a tow truck and they took it to your house don’t worry” Chris says knowing Felix was about to ask questions, before he could make it to the car he turns to look at the building.
“Felix something wrong? Did you forget something?” Chris asks but Felix just shakes his head “no just- I didn’t get say bye to the bartender he was really nice” he says then opens the car door to greet his other friends, the name hyunjin still stuck in the back of his head ‘is it you?..’ he thinks then slams the door shut letting Chris drive off.