Chapter Text
Will was sick and tired of this. All summer long, he’d been dreaming of the day Dustin came back from Camp Know Where, desperate for a friend who wasn’t so busy swapping spit they couldn’t pay Will even a spare second of their time. Lucas was bad, but sometimes he remembered Will’s existence in the midst of it all—usually when Mike was around without El at his side, because Lucas loved teasing Mike, and Will always got a bitter, cathartic kick out of it, because where Lucas was bad, Mike was impossible. Will was lucky if Mike even acknowledged him these days, lucky to get a ‘Hey! How’s it going, man?’ when every spare second was spent talking about El. How pretty she was, how perfect, how much he missed her when they had been sucking face less than twenty minutes beforehand. Will could count on one hand how many times Mike had asked about him the entire summer so far: none. Not once had Mike asked him what he was up to; the closest Will got was when Mike asked if he had a girlfriend yet, because apparently that was all there was to life.
And now Dustin was home, and he was exactly the same as Lucas and Mike and fucking hell, Will needed to get out of here.
As Lucas and Max bailed, tailing after Mike and El—Will swore he could still hear their stupid giggles—Dustin turned to him with bright, eager eyes, as if he figured Will would be happy to third wheel for yet another month, only this time by Dustin’s side instead of Mike and Lucas (because god knows Eleven didn’t acknowledge him when she had eyes only for Mike), and Max… she sometimes pestered him, checked in more than Lucas and Mike combined, but she was too busy with her own relationship drama to form a real friendship with him. Or maybe he had been too bitter to bother with anything deeper with her, when Lucas always seemed to swoop in and steal her away.
Ugh, he didn’t know anymore. He just missed his friends and he’d prayed against all hope things would be different when Dustin came back, but despite owing him, the universe never seemed to pay up.
“Okay,” Dustin said, “So maybe I was just in the wrong channel, or she was at dinner. I really think she’ll answer now—”
“That’s… great man. Look. It’s kinda getting a bit late. I should probably head out…”
Dustin’s face fell so quickly, Will wondered if it was like looking into a mirror anytime Lucas and Mike brought up their girlfriends when he was with them. But… why would Dustin care, when he had Suzie now? When Will was obviously being shoved onto yet another back burner, kept around on the off-chance things went wrong and ugh fuck this. “What?” Dustin’s voice was soft, hurt.
Will shrugged. He had to push through, lest he find himself doing exactly what he’d been doing all summer: he’s promised himself he wouldn’t let it happen again. “You know my mum gets worried when I’m out after dark.”
“Oh…”
“Listen, we can play D&D tomorrow, how about that?” Will offered, a tentative olive branch he’d given out far too many times. You couldn’t exactly play with two people, but now that Dustin was back, maybe he could help Will wrangle Lucas and Mike into a game—that was, if he wasn’t too distracted by Suzie. “And, uhm… I’m glad you’re back,” he added, when Dustin’s eyes still held that strange glint to them. Familiar and unnerving.
Dustin said nothing. His eyes fell to his lap, fingers curled tightly around the mic to his homemade Ham Radio, and so with a hesitant smile and awkward wave Will stood.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, dude.”
Nothing. Swallowing, Will turned, beginning the walk down the hill on stiff, jittery legs.
“I lied.”
Will stopped so suddenly, he nearly tripped over his own two feet and fell the rest of the way down the hill. That would sit well with his mum, coming home grazed and green. He turned back to Dustin, caught those desperate, shining eyes watching him, begging him to not go, to listen. “What?”
“About Suzie,” Dustin confessed, lowering his eyes again. Brows furrowing, Will made his way back up the hill slowly, step by careful step. “She’s not… she is real, I know you guys didn’t believe me about that.”
“I did,” Will offered, sitting down by his side, eye twitching as the long grass left his legs itching. “I believed you. We all did.”
“Oh,” Dustin said. “Well anyway… We’re not dating. We kissed, but… I don’t know.”
Will didn’t understand. “Then why did you say you had a girlfriend?”
“Well, technically it was true,” Dustin said, shooting him a quick glance, long enough for Will to notice his cheeks were pink and his eyes were sparkling. Long enough for Will to realise something was wrong. “We did date for like, a day or two. But it wasn’t working out for us, didn’t feel right. I think we were better off as best friends, not girlfriend and boyfriend—it made things weird.”
“Then why did you say you had a girlfriend?”
Dustin shrugged, more dismissive than to say he didn’t know. “You guys all have dates, and I don’t. I guess I just… didn’t want to feel left out.” He scoffed then and swiped at his eyes, as if to say look where that got me.
Will’s eyes widened, incredulous, relieved. “Dude,” he said. “I don’t have a date.”
Dustin’s eyes snapped up to him. “Really? But I thought…”
“Yes,” Will insisted. “And it sucks! I wish I had someone; the others keep ditching me to make out. I’ve been third or fifth wheeling all summer—it’s been miserable.”
Dustin’s eyes sparkled, curious. “Well… why don’t you have a girlfriend?” he asked. “I’m sure the others tried to hook you up with someone. Max is probably like, matchmaker of the year or something.” He chuckled, but Will barely heard the joke. He rolled his eyes.
“I don’t want a girlfriend,” he insisted, and it felt right, like something in him was slotting into place, affirming this stance he didn’t fully accept about himself yet, but had had his suspicions on for some time. His crush told him as much, even if he didn’t want to fully acknowledge something that separated him even more from his friends: the freak, the kid who came back to life, the queer.
“But I thought you said it sucks that you don’t have a date?” Dustin asked, because if anyone was going to catch his slip up, it would be Dustin.
“I, uh…”
“Oh,” Dustin said, understanding widening his eyes. “Oh…”
“Yeah…”
“You know, the reason it didn’t work out with Suzie was, well… she liked kissing me, sure. But she really wanted to kiss Rebecca.”
“Oh… Oh.” Will gasped. Suzie was…?
“And, y’know, it got me thinking about… things.”
“Things?”
Dustin nodded sagely. “Things. I am a scientist after all. I like to hypothesise.”
Will snickered politely, but curiosity wrapped itself around his ribs, mingled with a strange desperation. Was Dustin also…? “You know… Mike and I keep having these fights about me getting a girlfriend.”
Dustin wrinkled his nose. Will didn’t understand why he found the tiny action cute, kind of like a rabbit, but he refused to dwell on it. “Seriously?” he asked. “Does he not… know?” he paused, as if realising what he was asking.
“No,” Will said. “I haven’t told him or Lucas anything. You’re… kind of the first person I’ve talked to about this.” Even if they were dancing around saying it, he’d known Dustin long enough to know they were on the same page about this.
Dustin grinned, wide and genuine, as if the realisation that he was the first to know brought great delight to him. “That’s awesome! You’re the second, sorry; I told Suzie first, but only because she understood—well, maybe not the guys part, but she got the girls part for sure. And she understood being different.”
Will’s eyes widened. Dustin had said it, left it in the air between them, a secret Will had been holding so close to his chest for a year now, maybe two—maybe longer, if he was honest, and he might’ve been hiding it from himself too. And Dustin had spilled it so casually… no, his fingers tapped against his thigh anxiously, and he was biting his cheek, Will could see that now. Dustin was anxious, but trying. “So,” he said, “You like… girls and guys?”
Dustin nodded, a jerky movement fuelled by anxiety. “I think so. I mean, we did have a spin the bottle night and Nate and I got to—”
“What!?” Was that jealousy curling in his guts now? Was he jealous of Dustin getting to kiss a guy before him, or… something else?
Dustin snickered, high and nervous. “Uh, yeah… That’s… cool right?”
“Dude,” Will said, and he wondered how in the world Dustin hadn’t put two and two together. Maybe, a part of him needed to hear Will say it to be certain. Needed that verbal confirmation to something he already knew to be true. And, well… Dustin wasn’t in any place to judge or be disgusted, so… “Course it is. I… There was this guy I liked, too.”
Dustin’s eyes widened—then crinkled at the edges, delighted. The nerves seemed to dissipate from him: his shoulders fell, relaxed and relived, and he leaned closer into Will’s space, knocking knees with him. “Really?” he asked. “Who is it?”
“Was,” Will insisted.
Dustin nodded. “’Was.’ Past tense. Was it Lucas? I used to have a crush on him but then he got with Max and eh… Don’t even get me started on her, by the way.”
“You had a crush on Lucas?”
Dustin raised a brow. “Uh, yeah? Who wouldn’t?”
“Me?” Will asked, then paused, brows furrowing in contemplation. Had he liked Lucas? It didn’t matter, he could dwell on that another time. “I liked Mike.”
Dustin made a face, and for a beat, Will felt that age-old terror, certain he would be discarded as another disgusting queer—and then Dustin said: “Seriously? You have terrible taste, man.”
Will let out a bark of laughter. “What?! He’s not that bad, I just…”
“Just?”
“I don’t know,” Will said. “He looked after me during the whole possession thing. And it was… nice. But then El came back and it was like I didn’t exist anymore, so… past tense.”
“Dude, that fucking sucks of him. Even if she’s his girlfriend, we’ve known him for years.”
“Yeah,” Will said, lifting a shoulder dismissively. He lowered his eyes to his lap, twisting his fingers together. “I guess I’ve kinda moved on. I don’t know about Lucas—maybe at one stage like you did, but… not right now.”
“Well… what about me?”
Will blinked, lifting his head to meet Dustin’s eyes. “What?”
“Yeah!” Dustin said, cheeks a tender rose. “Did you ever have a crush on me?”
“Wh—Dustin!” Will flushed.
“Hey, I’m not hearing a no!” Dustin teased, earning a shove from Will. “I mean, unless… unless you don’t think I’m all that—”
“No, no, that’s not it!” Will said quickly, before Dustin could finish that sentence. He had never heard his best friend speak about himself like that, when he always seemed so confident, so sure of himself and his place in the world; he found he never wanted to hear such things from his mouth ever again, even if Will hadn’t let him finish his thoughts. “I guess I just… I thought I’d have a chance with Mike, that’s why… Guess I don’t, though. He and El seriously won’t stop sucking face, it’s disgusting.”
Dustin hummed, was quiet for a few beats. Will wasn’t sure what to say next, and so he lifted his head to the dusky sky. He really would have to leave soon; his mum hated when he stayed out past dark, ever since ‘83. But Dustin… he had opened up so much to Will, had actually listened to what he had to say and cared—Will hadn’t had that in so long, now, and it left his insides warm and fluffy. And then Dustin spoke again, and that warmth erupted, leaving his cheeks blazing: “Well, you’d have a chance with me.” His words were soft-spoken, tentative, but he might as well have shouted them, with how they affected Will.
“I—you—” Will took a deep breath, tried to settle his racing mind, because of all places he thought this conversation with Dustin would go when he initially said he was leaving, this wasn’t even on the table. “Did you have a crush on me?”
It was Dustin’s turn to flush. He averted his eyes quickly and shrugged. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I crushed on all of you guys at some point.”
“When did you have one on me?” Will asked, voice softer than he expected it to be, mind still lost on Dustin’s words: you’d have a chance with me. Why did they make him feel so… giddy? He had considered Mike for months upon months, up until this summer, really; Lucas, maybe once or twice, but he got with Max and Will cut the head off of that before it could destroy him. Dustin… he’d never really considered it, not when Dustin had been fighting with Lucas over Max. He’d just… assumed Dustin was like Lucas and left it at that.
You’d have a chance with me…
Dustin shrugged and didn’t meet his eye. “I don’t know, I’m still kinda figuring this stuff out. It’s like… a lot of little things? I don’t know. But… when you went missing, I was really upset and worried. More than I thought I would be. Even my ma was worried about me,” he added with a huff of laughter, as if to try and dismiss his words, to push them aside as if they were stupid. As if anything Dustin ever said was stupid.
“Dustin—”
“Sorry,” Dustin said quickly. “This is weird. I didn’t mean to keep you. I know your mum gets worried. I just…” He sighed, a heavy sigh Will recognised all too well: loneliness. “The others ditched, and I guess I got worried you were leaving me too. I won’t tell anyone by the way. Your secret is safe with—”
“Do you want to go on a date?” The words were out before Will’s mind caught up with his mouth, his hand over Dustin’s as if on instinct, an act of betrayal from his body, like the Mind Flayer was possessing him all over again except he knew it was gone—this was all him.
Dustin’s head whipped up, eyes so wide, Will could see the white all the way around his pupils. “I—wh-what…?”
Will tore his hand away like it had been burned. He didn’t miss the way Dustin set his own hand over the one Will had held, but he couldn’t consider the implications of that when he was backpedalling furiously, cheeks blazing. “I-I mean, just… Shit, that came out weird. I’m sorry. Never mind, just… I don’t have to go home, I just didn’t want to third wheel again.” He was rambling now, spitting out the first things that came to mind to distract Dustin from the disastrous words that had left his mouth—but how could he not ask, when Dustin was being so sweet, so kind? When he was listening to Will, opening up to him, revealing things and making Will reconsider his life choices like this?
Did he want to date Dustin?
“I feel kinda bad now,” he continued when Dustin said nothing. “I didn’t mean to ditch you too, just… I didn’t want to third wheel again, like I said. But it is getting late…”
Dustin cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah… you have to go?” And shit, there was that kicked puppy look again.
“Yeah, my mum will have a bird if I don’t get home, but… Do you wanna come over?”
Dustin perked up so quickly, Will wondered how he hadn’t crushed on Dustin before. Had he, and he hadn’t realised? He would dwell on it later, in the awful hours of the morning when he no doubt couldn’t sleep. “Really?” Will nodded. “Okay, sure! And uh… thanks for listening, and for staying. Really, it means a lot.”
“Course. Uh… do we have to pull all this apart?”
Dustin shrugged. “Leave it. Maybe tomorrow we can see if we can get a hold of Suzie. I think you’d like her, she’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, okay!” Knowing now that Suzie and Dustin were friends, Will was eager to meet her. She did sound pretty awesome too, with the way Dustin was talking her up, and if he liked her, then chances were Will would too. But that could come tomorrow. For now, they needed to get back to his place before the light vanished and his mum lost her mind again.
They raced down the hill, and by some miraculous feat neither of them tripped and went rolling down—Will managed to win, but only by a fraction of a second, or so Dustin insisted. “It’s because you cheated again,” Dustin said as they grabbed their bikes, walking them back to the road.
Will stuck his tongue out and found he had never been more comfortable in Dustin’s company. Maybe it was because Dustin understood in a way the others couldn’t hope to; maybe, it was the way the dusk light played soft-purple on his face, made brown curls and tanned cheeks softer—god, Will was screwed. Dustin had put the idea in his head, and now it seemed to be the only thing he could think about: Dustin.
At least it was better than Mike. A good distraction. A pleasant distraction that wanted him around and maybe, just maybe, wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of Will. But even if Dustin had crushed on him in the past, the way his eyes had widened in alarm when Will blurted out the idea of a date…
No, he wouldn’t get his hopes up. He would be grateful he had gotten what he wished for: a friend who wasn’t too busy making out to remember he even existed.
The bike back to Will’s place was leisurely. They didn’t race this time, didn’t really talk much at all as dusk petered out into night and the stars awoke above them. Dustin seemed lost in thought, and Will didn’t mind watching him, considering the what ifs of it all even though he knew this was all they’d ever be. It was silly of him, but sometimes, he didn’t mind the fantasies, the soft, delicate dreams that curled around the edges of his mind, tinted his vision with soft roses, warmed his cheeks. And no one else needed to know of his daydreams; not Mike nor Lucas and certainly not Dustin, not now that he knew.
It was a dream, but it was pleasant, and he would let the feelings linger, let them warm his chest up and leave butterflies fluttering through his guts. If everyone else could have them, then so could he, even if most would believe his daydreaming was wrong because he wasn’t thinking of a girl.
Dustin slipped away to phone his ma when they made it to Will’s place, bikes resting beside each other under the front porch. Will assured his mum he was fine, that he was just out enjoying his friend’s company like normal teens did during summer break, that he hadn’t been randomly possessed by the Mind Flayer yet again.
His mum left them alone to crash before her early shift, and Will threw on his rented copy of The Dark Crystal for them. They settled on the couch, close but not close enough, in Will’s opinion; Dustin’s elbow brushed against his, tentative, and Will bumped knees with him, hesitant to touch after their earlier conversation. Will didn’t push it, simply relaxed and enjoyed the close company of a friend when he hadn’t had this for so long: someone who wanted to be there for him, and not solely because he was another pair of ears that could listen to their problems while his went ignored yet again. But as the movie progressed, Dustin seemed to lean farther into his space. At first, Will thought he was just tired. It had been a long day, and the hike hadn’t helped, not when the most exercising he’d done was bike to Mike’s or Lucas’ or, sometimes, when Billy wasn’t home, Max’s—and after that, he’d just tag along behind everyone else. His muscles ached pleasantly, and his head was fuzzy with a well-earned fatigue that didn’t hold any remnants of loneliness to it for the first time all summer.
So, yeah, maybe he didn’t realise Dustin was inching closer until Dustin, as if emboldened by Will not shying away, rested his head over Will’s shoulder. Will stiffened immediately, breath caught in his throat—but he forced himself to relax quickly, to move past the surprise and drown in the warmth that flooded his senses, the cute, cute, cute that repeated through his head until it was all he knew. Dustin let out a sigh, and when Will cast a glance down at him, he saw Dustin’s eyelids had drifted shut.
Right. He was tired. That was fine. Mike had told him that when they were waiting for Will to wake up in the hospital, Dustin had fallen asleep snuggled against Lucas’ side, and Will understood now that that was how Dustin was: clingy when he was tired, flopping into the nearest person to rest against. That was fine; Will didn’t mind, enjoyed it, even. But he knew it was only because Dustin was tired, and he refused to let himself have any sort of hope because Dustin became clingy when he was tired, and he’d done this same thing with Lucas before.
It wasn’t until the movie finished, the credits rolling and the volume turned down to keep from waking his mum from much-needed rest, that Dustin spoke. Will thought he was asleep, had prepared himself to careful slide out from under Dustin, who now clung to Will’s left arm, to call Dustin’s ma and let her know the situation so she wouldn’t worry when Dustin didn’t make it home tonight, and so the soft-spoken word left him jumping in surprise: “Yes.”
“What?” he asked, confused and tired. With his free hand, he rubbed at his eyes. Had he not been enjoying himself so much, he might’ve fallen asleep on the couch with Dustin by his side, who he’d presumed had been asleep already. The thought of them drifting off together, cuddled up close… it left his cheeks warm.
Dustin’s voice was quiet still, barely there over the credits still rolling. “Let’s do it. Go on a date, I mean—uh… that is, if you still want to.”
Will blinked. The warmth in his face flared ruby-red. “Really?” His voice betrayed the hope clinging to his veins.
“Yeah!” Dustin said, finally lifting his head to meet Will’s eye. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course, but…” Dustin blew out a breath, smiling softly at Will’s raised brow. “Okay fine, I guess you do. I was gonna go meet up with Steve in the morning at Scoops Ahoy—presuming he got the job. Did you want to… come along maybe and we can plan it properly then?”
“The ice cream parlour isn’t the date?” Will asked slyly, suddenly feeling far bolder than he ever had before. Dustin had asked, and he seemed so bashful, Will couldn’t help but tease him. Later, he would realise his words could be considered flirting.
“I-I mean, it can be,” Dustin said quickly. “But uh… I’d rather take you somewhere better.”
Will stuck his tongue out. “Technically I asked and you accepted, so I’m taking you.”
Dustin huffed a laugh. “Fine, fine. If you insist.”
“I’ll meet you at your house at ten?”
“Okay!” Dustin said.
Will grinned. “Okay.”